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The 15 Minutes Concept

By Courtney Enlow | Posted Under Celebrities Are Better than You | Comments (22)



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In the late ’60s, Andy Warhol wrote, “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes.” And for more than 40 years, that quote has been mangled and cliched and misused. Because he did not say, “for ONLY 15 minutes.” The hackneyed idea that one’s allotted number of minutes deserves to be up is a lie. A cruel, vicious lie, and a promise of a hopeful world where there is none.

Do you know whose faces grace the homepage of TMZ right now? In addition to a number of sports people, who I understand perform some manner of game sport thing, one can find a) Verne “Mini-Me” Troyer, b) Michael “I Could Not Have Fucked That Kid Up More If I Shot Her” Lohan, c) Bombshell “Nazi Who Broke Up Sandy Bullock’s Marriage” McGee, d) Rachel “Broke Up Everyone Else’s” Uchitel, and e) Amy “No, Seriously, She Is” Fisher. The Hollywood Reporter has Sarah Palin and Ashton Kutcher. Other sites and various entertainment news programs have been trying to make me care about Jessica Simpson, Nick Lachey and other people who have not done a damn thing since gauchos came back, and I. Don’t. Get. It.

The concept that fame fades and obscurity greets the worthless at the pearly gates of the real world is a falsity. It’s something we tell ourselves to pretend that Paris Hilton and Speidi will really go away forever one day. And maybe they will. But never completely. They’ll cling to infamy and notoriety like it’s a proper career.

And it’s sad.

Not sad in the way people who still say “Whassssuuuup?” are sad. Like, actually sad.

A personal struggle for me over the course of the past ten or so years has been the popularization of reality television and famous-for-nothing celebutaints. And I’ve been unable to really divine why these people make me quite so angry. I mean, they’re completely irritating and obnoxious, and it’s totally normal to want to stab them with thumbtacks and throw farm implements at them. But I really loathe these people. The hatred is personal and fraught with malice. And I think I know why.

It’s because of all the sad.

Over time, the idea of talent and the notion of interesting have given way in the face of fame. “Unique” is only appreciated when it means “richer” or “more popular.” Having any sort of personality is shunned for low pandering. People admire the awful and tasteless because of this vague sense that they are in some way entertaining.

Essentially, the entertainment landscape has become high school.

This is not new, but it seems so much more vivid in this era of 24-hour “headline” news, paparazzi and tabloid prevalence.

I want to stop hating and start ignoring, but, much like in high school, the hate has become a fuel. I am fascinated by the goings on of awful people because if I have more reasons to hate, it makes me feel better. I want it to stop, and, yet, my life force has become driven by this intense rage towards these terrible festersores.

They are my cause. They are my Tibet. My ozone layer.

And that’s sad, too.









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Comments

I love this post. Here's why:

One of the most common complaints I get on here, on popbytes, on Facebook and on Twitter is "Well if you hate them so much, why don't you just ignore them and they'll go away?"

Fun fact about that: That's not how it works. I am not that powerful; I cannot make people I don't like go away just by ignoring them. I've never reported on The Real Horsefaces of What-The-Fuck-Ever, or the poster children for abortion that make up Teen Mom, or countless other celebrities that won't go away. Yet they are still around and their is absolutely nothing I can do in my power to fix this.

The only thing I can do is to make their stay possible. They want to stay past their alloted 15 minutes? Super. A-Okay. People can stay in a restaurant past closing too and their's not a damn thing you can do about that either. All you can do is make their stay as excruciatingly uncomfortable and unpleasant as you possibly can. And that's why I love my job.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at November 9, 2010 2:33 PM

Listen to some classical music. I've been doing that lately and am comforted in the fact that only a few famous people from this era will be famous hundreds of years from now.

Gulda playing Bach was a nice find:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVaRtib1Ewo

Posted by: Mebe at November 9, 2010 2:41 PM

Tone deaf people who fervently believe they can sing, or even the ones who know they are void of talent, just keep feeding their compulsion to be heard and be seen and never to be ignored. It's a genuine lifestyle, methinks.

Posted by: EllenP at November 9, 2010 2:41 PM

Fun fact about that: That's not how it works.

Actually, I think it kind of does for most people. Unfortunately, for folks like you and Courtney and other folks who write internet blogs and keep us joyfully entertained throughout our boring workdays, you really don't have that luxury. These disgusting little hobogoblins will continue to hound you and hound you.

That said, for me, I really have no problem ignoring the vast majority of these people. They creep into my life every now and then, sometimes when I visit here, sometimes when I'm listening to some talk radio, but that's really it.

Pajiba and some of the links I follow from here, like those found in Jeremy's Pajiba Love, are really the only websites that I visit that ever put me in the same universe as these people.

I watch a handful of TV shows (almost all DVR'd, thus avoiding commercials) and sports. So, these people don't infect my TV watching universe.

This post is the first I've thought about Verne Troyer since "Austin Powers". I am not even sure who Michael Lohan is, but I guess it's Lindsay's father. This is the frist I've thought about Bombshell McGee and Rachel Uchitel, since their respective sordid affairs broke. And this my first Amy Fisher sighting in years. I heard about Ashton Kutchner cheating on Demi on some radio morning talk show and I caught one of his stupid camera commercials while watching the incredibly depressing Lions game on Sunday.

After this, almost all of these people will simply go back and fade into Bolivian as far as I am concerned.

Posted by: FordbiddenDonut at November 9, 2010 2:47 PM

So I recently heard that the girl with a big ass and a sex tape is releasing an album.

This makes me sad.

In retribution, my tight little blues band and I shall go performa local show in front of fifty people, and we will kick ass.

This makes me less sad.

Posted by: meh at November 9, 2010 2:55 PM

Troyer was anonymous in Harry Potter but actually respectable in the craziness that was Dr. Parnassus. I just pretend the rest of his shenanigans, and the rest of them together, just don't exist.

Posted by: lordhelmet at November 9, 2010 3:00 PM

ForbiddenDonut >> "fade into Bolivian"

I had to look that up. Nicely done.

Of course, if Butch and Sundance taught us anything, Bolivia might not be the easiest place for fading.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at November 9, 2010 3:01 PM

Speaking for myself, I love them.

I grew up in complete and utter chaos, surrounded on all sides by mad people. I have chosen to not live the same way.

But sometimes I miss the crazy.

Reality shows provide plenty of this.

Posted by: Amandahugandkiss at November 9, 2010 3:07 PM

Fame today is like the kiss from that drunken pretty girl you got at a party once, that you now spend the rest of your life masturbating about. In public, if need be.

Posted by: Odnon. at November 9, 2010 3:24 PM

I mostly avoid reading about the people I want to pretend aren't famous. Mostly this works. Not with the Jersey Shore abominations, because I sadly have a number of friends who love the show and post about it all the time, or talk about it in real life, and then I just have to mock them. It's tragic how easy it is to get and stay famous if you are a moron, and how impossibly hard it is if you are talented and hardworking. I've been auditioning since I was 12 and I can't list any credits you'd care about (mostly background work). But being on a set, or on a stage, I remember that regardless of these idiotic people, there ARE still people working at it the old fashioned way, and that makes me smile.

Posted by: KatSings at November 9, 2010 3:30 PM

These people maintain their spotlight for one very simple reason:

"You can't please everyone all the time, but you can please some of the people some of the time."

Those who manufacture celebrity of this ilk have figured out how to please all of us all of the time:

1. Those who are genuinely interested in and entertained by their antics gobble up everything they can and love every minute of it.

2. Those of us who are not genuinely interested in them and have never been entertained by them revel in our own snark regarding them.

We contributed to their rise as much as the half of the populace we deride for liking them.

They're the fuel which keeps our fire burning as Courtney has pointed out.

Posted by: lubeg at November 9, 2010 3:59 PM

Can you be unfamous? Can you return back to a normal life once the glare of the world has moved beyond you?

Think of someone like Kato Kaelin. He had his 15 minutes, but can he go back to being whatever he was before the OJ trial? What happens if he walks into the Subway you're at? Do you stare or ignore him?

This is the problem with fame. It's fool's gold. It brings you notoriety without the elements to deal with it.

Or as was stated so eloquently in Krull: "Fame is a fool's quest. Eat it and go hungry. Count it and go broke. Chase it and go mad."

Posted by: Fredo at November 9, 2010 4:29 PM

As usual, Krull shows us the way.

Posted by: Todd at November 9, 2010 4:55 PM

That's no personal struggle, man. And aren't you like, fourteen, anyway?

25. It's like 14 but with more people who don't like me on the internet. - CE

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at November 9, 2010 5:02 PM

Meh,

It really pains me to admit I knew exactly who you meant with the big ass and sex tape. Say it isnt a Kardashian?

I know we cant make them go away but I alwways take satisfaction in the fact they live in a fickle industry where they need to go above and beyond to stay relevant and the fame is gonna go away along with the money.

Hah! Who's gonna be sad in future now wasted celebrities???

Posted by: Jean at November 9, 2010 5:32 PM

This is all a parcel with the Great Leveling Effect we're going through in politics too, where we don't want great people to lead us, we want people who are Just Like Us. I blame whoever wrote "all men are created equal" because 95% of us take that to mean equally stupid.

That sad part is, they might be right.

Also, Courtney Enlow, this is a formal proposal: Will you ignore the fact I'm already married (and I'll ignore it if you're already married) and marry me? I go down like a submarine and I do the grocery shopping.

Posted by: , at November 9, 2010 6:50 PM

I'm just in love with the people who referenced Krull.

Posted by: Carrie/Teabelly at November 9, 2010 7:18 PM

What depresses me is that there are enough horrible vapid people who actually give a shit what K-Fed is up to these days enough that he's on these websites. I don't fault TMZ, they're just cashing in on people being 'tards.

I fault the 'tards.

Posted by: Jason Harris at November 9, 2010 8:19 PM

Don't confuse the interest of gossip bloggers with the interest of the rest of the world. There's a tight little universe where being seen and heard is sufficient to be a celebrity. Then there's the world that wants to know what have you done for me lately. Most of us live in the between. And for the rest? It is what it is.

Can you imagine the hell of some of these celebutards who live and breathe for the attention when the attention goes away? Just because they will always be a name in wikipedia will not be sufficient for their ever hungry egos. Just pray that they don't breed.

Posted by: Patricia at November 9, 2010 8:38 PM

Someone needs to start a website for celebrity news with a preference section. You can check off the "celebrities" you want to ignore and add the ones you are interested in. Default settings to not include someone made famous from a reality show. That way I can still find out what fucked up shit Mel Gibson has said, the latest nipple slip from my favorite actresses (maybe subjects like that could be an option to always include regardless of fame) and well, you know, I could really give shit about any celebrity news. If you are an actress/actor I'm interested in seeing you act other than that I don't freaking care.

Posted by: LwoodPDowd at November 10, 2010 12:27 AM

All (wo)men are created equal. It's what they do AFTER that point that causes them to either end up on TMZ, to live in relative obscurity...or to post derisively here.

Posted by: psy at November 10, 2010 12:18 PM

I have no idea who Rachel Uchitel is.

I know who Heidi whatserface is, but only because I read Go Fug Yourself and I scan the supermarket tabloids.

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at November 10, 2010 2:53 PM