Taylor Swift Adds New Line to Résumé: Wall Street Journal Contributer. Wait, What?
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Taylor Swift Adds New Line to Résumé: Wall Street Journal Contributer. Wait, What?

By Emily Chambers | Celebrities Are Better than You | July 9, 2014 | Comments ()

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On Monday, The Wall Street Journal published an article by Taylor Swift. It’s a thing that happened. I would have written about it earlier, but I’m pretty sure I blocked it out. She wrote about the music industry, declining album sales, and how artists can remain profitable by connecting with their fans. All things she should know enough to write an adequate article about. Only the article is terrible. And she called it, “For Taylor Swift, the Future of Music Is a Love Story”.

Of course she did.

I could criticize a lot of the article (and I mean a lot. The line about deciding an album’s price point? I feel like maybe you don’t quite know how economics work, T. And you end your article by telling us you want a garden? A#1. That’s a completely irrelevant bit of twee bullshit, and B#2. you’re a multi- millionaire. What exactly is preventing you from having that special, special garden?), but really all you need to know is that this line was submitted to and published by one of the most reputable papers in the nation:

In mentioning album sales, I’d like to point out that people are still buying albums, but now they’re buying just a few of them. They are buying only the ones that hit them like an arrow through the heart or have made them feel strong or allowed them to feel like they really aren’t alone in feeling so alone.

Ugh. Because nothing Taylor Swift writes is complete until at least one line makes her imagine a unicorn making sweet, but vigorous love to a teddy bear.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • "They are buying only the ones that hit them like an arrow through the heart"


    /buys 9,000 copies of Taylor Swift's Red (Wedding)

  • BlackRabbit

    Shot through the heart/And you're to blame

  • Antique (webelos8)

    She really DOES give love a bad name... (not referring to the video, I can't see that at work)

  • LurkeyTurkey
  • emmalita

    I see Rupert Murdoch is living up to his promise to keep things classy at the WSJ.

  • foolsage

    I read their op-eds when I feel a need to stoke some indignant rage. That paper's gone to absolute hell.

  • NateMan

    Shh, Taylor. Just shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

  • TK

    She describes herself as "one of the few living souls in the music industry who still believes that the music industry is not dying…it's just coming alive."

    Well, you made millions selling derivative, immature garbage crassly molded into the shape of music, so that's hardly a ringing endorsement of the industry. Meanwhile, far better, more talented, more intelligent bands are being killed off by the industry, forced to self-release albums or use flexible-priced methods like Bandcamp, since that's their only hope of actually seeing any dollars for their efforts.

    And please don't lecture me about what you think art is or isn't. Go back to writing insipid bullshit about breakups.

    God, I hate Taylor Swift so much.

  • You, with your words like knives
    And swords and weapons that you use against me
    You have knocked me off my feet again
    Got me feeling like I'm nothing
    You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
    Calling me out when I'm wounded
    You picking on the weaker man

    Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
    And all you're ever gonna be is mean
    Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
    And all you're ever gonna be is mean
    Why you gotta be so mean?

  • TK
  • Al Borland's Beard

    "...imagine a unicorn making sweet, but vigorous love to a teddy bear."

    Lisa Frank's sales pitch for an adult line of notebooks and folders fell on mostly deaf ears.

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