Taylor Swift Adds New Line to Résumé: Wall Street Journal Contributer. Wait, What?
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Taylor Swift Adds New Line to Résumé: Wall Street Journal Contributer. Wait, What?

By Emily Chambers | Celebrities Are Better than You | July 9, 2014 | Comments ()

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On Monday, The Wall Street Journal published an article by Taylor Swift. It’s a thing that happened. I would have written about it earlier, but I’m pretty sure I blocked it out. She wrote about the music industry, declining album sales, and how artists can remain profitable by connecting with their fans. All things she should know enough to write an adequate article about. Only the article is terrible. And she called it, “For Taylor Swift, the Future of Music Is a Love Story”.

Of course she did.

I could criticize a lot of the article (and I mean a lot. The line about deciding an album’s price point? I feel like maybe you don’t quite know how economics work, T. And you end your article by telling us you want a garden? A#1. That’s a completely irrelevant bit of twee bullshit, and B#2. you’re a multi- millionaire. What exactly is preventing you from having that special, special garden?), but really all you need to know is that this line was submitted to and published by one of the most reputable papers in the nation:

In mentioning album sales, I’d like to point out that people are still buying albums, but now they’re buying just a few of them. They are buying only the ones that hit them like an arrow through the heart or have made them feel strong or allowed them to feel like they really aren’t alone in feeling so alone.

Ugh. Because nothing Taylor Swift writes is complete until at least one line makes her imagine a unicorn making sweet, but vigorous love to a teddy bear.

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