Songwriter Spends Life Savings on Plastic Surgery to Look Like Justin Bieber, Fails Miserably

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Songwriter Spends Life Savings on Plastic Surgery to Look Like Justin Bieber, Fails Miserably

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrities Are Better than You | October 21, 2013 | Comments ()


Sometimes in life, people are not happy with how they look. Sometimes, they choose to get plastic surgery to look different. Sometimes they do this to look like celebrities. One enterprising gentleman, songwriter Toby Sheldon, decided to look like Justin Bieber. And he did so flawlessly, making a decision that will in no way be regrettable at any point in the future.



I know you are probably confused about which one is Justin and which one is Toby. I totally understand. It’s pretty hard.

This is pretty much the plastic surgery version of those Pinterest fails. Only instead of food, it’s your goddamn face.



Congratulations, Toby. You got $100,000 worth of plastic surgery to look like the world’s most awkward high school sophomore. He looks like a human blackboard erection. He looks like he got caught eating the paste. He looks like everyone who asks the most annoying questions at Comic Con, the really long, inane ones the panelists have to pretend to answer before delightedly fleeing to the next question. What he does not look like is Justin Bieber. What he doesn’t not look like is actress Audrey Wasilewski.


And it would seem that the easiest thing to get right would be the hair, and he couldn’t even land that. He looks like Angus. He looks like Kerri Strug.

To you, Toby Sheldon, and your quality life decisions, we salute you. I look forward to checking back in with you later when you’ve gone full Carrot Top.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Jezzer

    I wonder what he'll do when karma finally catches up to Bieber and sucks him into a jet engine.

  • DGM

    There needs to be some sort of regulation in the plastic surgery industry, some way of preventing people from mutilating themselves like this. Maybe call it the "Michael Jackson Surgical Protocol" and use it to keep people from going full cat-face. Plastic surgery can do wonders for people with real physical deformities or skin damage, but not everyone needs cheek implants.

  • googergieger

    Why come it's cool to make fun of this totally okay suicide waiting to happen, but not anything else you fauxhipsters say isn't cool to make fun of cause you misheard a quote on NPR about it?

  • F'mal DeHyde

    That was a really unpleasant read.

    In any case, I hope part of his strange appearance is due to swelling from the surgery. Once that goes down and he (hopefully) allows his eyebrows to grow back in and gets a better haircut, he'll look fine. I certainly wouldn't look twice at him on the street.

  • Sofia

    If he also speaks like Kerri Strug, then he's really nailed it.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    "He looks like a human blackboard erection," is, I am certain, the funniest thing I will read this week.

  • kbenton

    You know, I like a good snark as much as the next guy, but this piece just came off as mean spirited. Do I agree this dude made a terrible decision and looks strange and unnatural now? Yes, yes I do, but heaping shame and ridicule on him is just ugly.

    He seems to me like a confused kid with genuine body image and celebrity worship issues. These aren't really the kinds of things I feel comfortable demeaning.

  • Jen

    He's 33 years old for gods sake, not a kid. And he's the one who plastered these pictures all over the internet so everyone could see the "amazing" results.

  • Hinged

    So we're supposed to feel sorry for people who are mentally ill or damaged in the psyche and certain damaged celebs get all the golly sympathy but this clearly pitiable person gets this treatment from you all... Because he put it on the Internet? So, what, he asked for it? So it's ok to be completely unkind?

  • kbenton

    Very well, strike "kid" and insert "man". I don't know that that invalidates anything else I said.

  • e jerry powell

    The eyebrows are wrong, for starters. I'd make a more detailed list, but I have to go to therapy now and deal with my own issues.

    Thankfully, none of my issues have a goddamn thing to do with looking like Justin Beaver Pelt.

  • Lauren_Lauren

    See how the corners of his mouth look like slits? That's apparently "smile surgery", where (and I am assuming here) you go in and ask the doctor for a "slight Glasgow, maybe with a hint of Joker".

  • Does the "first do no harm" oath not apply to plastic surgeons? When a perfectly normal-looking (attractive, even) person comes to you and requests that you put them under, cut them open and start mucking around in the name of looking like a celebrity, I don't care if it's Fassbender... either your inner warning goes off and you refer them to a therapist, or you cease to be a doctor and become a better-paid version of those white-coated ladies at the Clinique counter.

  • Wigamer

    NO ONE can be made to look like Fassbender. There is only one. It is known.

  • tarqueeny

    With some celebrities I hate their fans more than the celebs themselves. With this idiot, it's definitely him I detest.

  • Robert

    He asked for Justin Bieber and wound up looking like a silicone-stuffed drag queen named Detox.

  • Emma

    Wow, this post was fucking mean.

  • ApeDrape

    It is a bit odd.

  • JJ

    The lesson, as always, is never go full Bieber.

  • Jezzer

    Asked for the "Justin Bieber."
    Received the "Denise Crosby."
    Gave Star Trek nerds the most confusing boner ever.

  • VonnegutSlut

    Now that you've said this, I can't unsee it.

    More precisely, I think he looks like that half-Romulan kid Tasha ended up having after Picard sent her back in time to prevent that insane timeline where Worf didn't exist & the Federation was getting its ass all kinds of whooped by the Klingons--Denise Crosby played both mother & daughter.

    And that is officially the most insanely nerdy & confusing sentence I've ever written.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    Serving Tasha Yar realness.

  • cicatricella

    pointy ears and unusual eyebrows and he's there.

  • Guest

    thank-you for saying it because I was thinking it. TNG nerds FTW!

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Because what this world needs is more Bieber.

  • He might as well have walked into the plastic surgeon's office and said "Make me look like I would if my parents were 1st cousins."

  • Sherry

    Nailed it.

  • NateMan

    You forgot 'At Life' at the end of that title.

  • Rebecca Hachmyer

    And in the header pic Justin Bieber is clearly trying to channel "Jaden Face." Nailed it.

  • Theron

    What? Jaden is the one who is trying to copy Bieber with that stupid face. He follows him on tour and copies his style then he follows his dad into movies and tries to copy his charm. Jaden sucks even more than Bieber - everyone knows that.

  • ed newman


    First, he's an idiot.

    But, he still looks human. A human dork, but at least human. So many of these attempts turn these deluded saps into something robotic, proto-human, or feline. So he's got that going for him.

    Lastly, I decided to read this as if it were one of those Bud Light Real Men of Genius commercials, complete with background music and 80's era ballad singer backup and it made all the difference.

  • oilybohunk7

    I miss Real Men of Genius.

  • BWeaves

    No he does not look human. He has that uncanny valley thing going on. His skin is too smooth and the eyes, the eyes. Why do people who get plastic surgery ask to have their eyes go up at the outside corners? Even most Asians don't have eyes that go up at the corners. Most people's eyes go down slightly at the corners. We are not cats, people!

  • simplysarah

    It's sad. He wasn't a bad looking guy before he did that to himself.

  • Rebecca Hachmyer

    Why go Bieber when you already have poor-man's Damon/Van Der Beek going for you??

  • BLA

    I don't know what he did to his eyes, but it almost seems like he moved them closer together. O_O

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    I think the fillers in his cheeks made his face swell up and that's why his eyes look so small.

  • Miss Jane

    What's really bizarre is that he looks like a young Matt Damon in the before photo.

  • Wrestling Fan

    before - O_O
    after - O.O

  • emmalita

    People who gt plastic surgery to look like other people and hoarders hit a level of psychosis I cannot deal with.

  • stella

    This just made me sad.

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