Sigh. Well, Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison Are On TV Now.

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | October 9, 2012 |

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | October 9, 2012 |

*deep exhale* Oh buddy.

So Courtney “Child Bride” Stodden and Doug “Child Banger” Hutchison made their reality TV debut this week with the Peabody Award-winning (*shakes head no*) “Couples Therapy” on VH1.

Normally this is the part where I’d angrily, soapboxily ask them if they feel good about that, if it felt rewarding to pay and promote the whoring desperation of these two people, while actually using apparent mental health professionals to make it seem as though just a life choice people need to respect.

But instead, not unlike that chick in A Chorus Line, I feel nothing. I’m feeling nothing.

She calls him “dad.” He describes himself as “raising” her. I call myself “frowny” and describe myself as “vomiting” but what are you going to do? This is our world now.

I mean, it’s just so meta. Their housemates are talking about how they don’t want to fall into the trap of these people clearly putting on a show so that people will pay attention to them, on a television show that is trying to use them for ratings that come from people paying attention to them.

I mean…Yeah. *nods* Yeah.

Last night I accidentally witnessed Kourtney Kardashian pull her baby out of her vagina on E!. Last year, her sister fake-got married, then fake-got divorced and everyone shit out both sides of their bodies trying to get us to care. Now, we’ve got ourselves some televised, industry-blessed pedophilia ephebophilia (because everyone pointed that out last time).

Because of course we do.

That’s just the general direction. That’s where we were headed; now we’re here. Next up, I can only assume we’ll have MTV airing their hit new show based on A Serbian Film. At a certain point, we’ve lost the fight. Hail your overlords.

Where is your god now?