Pyramids, Galileo, and Breaking All the Records of Life: The Very Important Thoughts of Jaden Smith
Jaden Smith is a national (possibly universal) treasure. This rambly ultra-rich, high-minded 17 year old is the poet laureate of teenagers on Twitter. He’s like a mini Vincent Kartheiser who sometimes wears dresses and swerves too hard. He left Twitter earlier this year, and the world cried, so he’s back now, tweeting out incredibly important 17-year-old thoughts like
The Biggest Flex Anyone Will Ever Have Is Dying.— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) September 4, 2015
Chemtrails.— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) September 30, 2015
But now we have a source of Jaden’s thoughts not limited to 140 characters. In a new interview with GQ, he revealed a lot about himself: his thoughts, his dreams, which important people and great minds from history he feel comfortable comparing himself to… there’s a lot to unpack here.
He’s not NOT as revolutionary as Galileo.
People think you’re crazy—I feel like it’s an honor, actually, for people to think I’m crazy. Because they thought Galileo was crazy, too, you know what I’m saying? I don’t think I’m as revolutionary as Galileo, but I don’t think I’m not as revolutionary as Galileo.
He builds stuff.
Like, the clothes I’m wearing right now, done it on my own. I built my own bed, I built my own closet, um, I built two closets, I built four beds, I built, um, one pyramid—
Well, “half a pyramid.”
Because it’s supposed to be 14 feet tall or 16 feet tall, but the tip of the Giza pyramid is actually cut off. There’s no tip. It’s missing. So I was like, ‘I want to have a missing tip on here, too.’ Because I copied the exact 57.1 degrees that the Giza pyramid is. Obviously I don’t have two miniature pyramids next to it. But I have a little pyramid in my actual room, too. One that’s just like three feet tall.
He and his sister have a super secret super magic “Mystery School.” (It’s what they call their homeschooling.)
Me and my sister started this initiative called Mystery School. It dates back to like ancient Egypt, ancient Greece—like Plato, Pythagoras, all these students had mystery schools. And what they learned in there was sacred. They would learn the math and sciences of that generation, and then they would build the cities and give that energy and that knowledge to the other people. And a lot of stuff they would keep really, really to themselves. Like, you couldn’t say the word dodecahedron, which is just a shape, outside of one of the mystery schools or they would, like, kill you or whatever. Because it was such a sacred shape.
He doesn’t have time for parties. He’s too busy breaking all the records of life.
I rarely go to parties. My whole life is just dedicated on learning and breaking, like, the craziest records of life, and being like one of the craziest human beings to ever exist. That’s me.
He has a view of college only available to children raised so rich they’d never actually have to go to college or get a job, and possibly also Will Hunting.
I’ll go to college. I want to set up offices at MIT just so I can learn and bring in new technologies into the world. Definitely sit in on lectures in college. I’ve done that already. Like, go sit in that, you know, USC, UCLA, MIT, you know, anything I can get my hands on.
On his 10 Year Plan:
Do you think about where you’ll be ten years from now?
What does that mean, “Gone”?
“No one will know where I am in ten years. They’ll see me pop up, but they’ll be like, ‘Where’d you come from?’ No one will know. No one will know where I’m at. No one will know who I’m with. No one will know what I’m doing. I’ve been planning that since I was like 13.”
He wants to be like Banksy, but better. Because of #SquadGoals and symbols and stuff.
It’ll be kind of like Banksy. But in a different way. More of a social impact. Helping people. But through art installations. It’ll be like, ‘This just happened that helped a bunch of people over here. We don’t know who did it, but these symbols and things were left around, so we can only guess that it’s Jaden and the squad.’ You know what I’m saying? So I’m just dedicating my whole life to helping the world.
His life advice
“Let me think. What do I want to say right now? Love yourself. And watch.”
“No. Don’t watch Jaden.”
Love yourself and watch what, then?
“I’m gonna say it one more time. Love yourself. And watch.”
“Don’t watch Jaden.”
I’m gonna be in the car, being like, “What the fuck did that mean?”
“Yeah. Yeah. I want you to. I want you to be.”
And then he walks away.
Which I imagine looked something like this:
Get entertainment, celebrity and politics updates via Facebook or Twitter. Buy Pajiba merch at the Pajiba Store.