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OK Magazine Has A Different Notion Of Tragedy Than We Do

By Courtney Enlow | Posted Under Celebrities Are Better than You | Comments (22)



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Let’s say I ran up to you in Bed, Bath & Beyond or some simulacrum and shoved this magazine in your face. What would you believe this cover story to be about?

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I am guessing your mind went straight to miscarriage, maybe a bitter custody dispute, or possibly the death of a child. Something genuinely tragic and awful.

You would be silly.

Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett has just one wish this holiday season. “I just want to be with my family,” she says wistfully. … Now, she’s been living alone in L.A. and filming [her reality] show while husband Hank Baskett is in Minneapolis playing for the Vikings.

But what’s worse, Kendra has been forced to make the biggest sacrifice a mother can make in sending her infant son to live with his father. “Life has changed now,” Kendra tells OK! exclusively. “It gets so lonely.”

Let’s all take a collective moment of what-the-fuckness.

First up, Kendra. A cursory Google image search I made while looking for the photo above educated me to the fact that Kendra and OK Magazine have something of a relationship, with her frequently taking up a cover to pose with her baby while wearing a bikini or posing with her baby while exercising to fit in a bikini. So, as with most tabloid stories about reality television stars, this is an actual exclusive, not just made up garbage to fill space.

This comes on the heels of Kendra’s last exclusive, this with OK’s equally bottom-feeding hill person sister, Life & Style. Again, game time: what do YOU, gentle reader, think this story is about?

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Divorce, right? Probably at the hands of a no good lying cheat of a man.

Nope. In fact, both of these stories tell the same tale: Kendra stays in LA because it’s where the camera people are while her husband does his actual job in Minnesota (they don’t have cameras there; I looked it up). Then she sent her kid, her very young child, out to stay with daddy.

If you recall, earlier this week, we learned that Kendra makes upwards of $2 million a year. One would think that $2 million, not to mention her husband’s NFL money, could pay for her to join them. She’s making the choice not to be with her family. Now, I shouldn’t judge the decision of a working mother (in the loosest sense of the words) to stay where the money is. But I do judge the rich girl who chooses fame over family, then seeks out magazine interviews, complete with sad-face photo shoots to whine about it and imply that it is somehow out of her hands, and dare compare herself to ACTUAL single mothers.

Now onto OK.

Not OK, OK. (See what I did there?) Are you fucking joking with this? There’s no way they didn’t know what they were doing. And I realize that to question the ethics and reporting skills of one of the lowest tabloid rags, the Superteen to People’s Bop and US Weekly’s Tiger Beat, is where madness lies and is completely useless. But implying that sending a kid on a fucking vacation is remotely similar to the loss of a child is beyond fucked up. Give us a hundred more covers featuring Aniston v. Jolie, report that Phyllis Diller is pregnant with Zac Efron’s baby, whatever. But keep it classy, in the most relative, my-lucite-heels-have-real-sequins-on-the-straps-not-just-glitter classy way.









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Comments

Goddamnit, you're doing it again, Courtney writer person.

Posted by: Perfect Tommy at December 9, 2010 2:06 PM

I was gonna go with "misplaced her baby in aisle 4 at the Wal-mart," but I guess I wasn't too far off.

Posted by: Rykker at December 9, 2010 2:06 PM

I'm so grossed out.

I might just have to get back to work now...THAT's how gross this makes me feel.

Drastic times -- drastic measures, my friends.

Posted by: klingonfree at December 9, 2010 2:06 PM

Fuck this ugly bitch in the ear.

And speaking of the Vikings, maybe she should be with Favre instead of Baskett. They could desperately lunge for attention together, maybe causing a catastrophic accident in which the baby is magically transported to a normal family as these hillbillies burn in the wreckage of their failed lives.

Posted by: Kballs at December 9, 2010 2:09 PM

"Kendra's Baby's Horrible Mutation! (Pictures inside!)" = outie
"Kendra Eats Miscarried Twins! (First-hand witness tells all!)" = has eggs for breakfast
"Kendra Can't Read! (Her secret shame!)" = headache

Posted by: superasente at December 9, 2010 2:12 PM

Am I the only one who thinks "Phyllis Diller is preggo with Zac Efron's lovechild" would be the best story in the history of ever?

Posted by: dahlia6 at December 9, 2010 2:13 PM

It's okay, Courteney, we're gonna get through this. Just sit down with an issue of Twist. I KNOW you don't believe me, but I swear...it will make more sense.

Posted by: Jay at December 9, 2010 2:19 PM

I can't blame Kendra for the stupid headline, though after this she SHOULD cut her ties to the magazine. Her job is media. She gets paid for appearances, but part of her deal is she's always been the cool one, the one that you can't really hate, because she's so obviously well-meaning. She's like Britney on Glee.

Posted by: Kat at December 9, 2010 2:25 PM

Aside from the general ickiness of those tabloid stories, Kendra and her whole "I want to live my life for ME!" schtick really pisses me off. News flash bitch, you're married with a baby, it's not all about you anymore. Plus, she's the one who married a second-string NFL player - they get traded around a ton, you'd think she'd know what she signed up for. Ugh.

Posted by: Meg at December 9, 2010 2:28 PM

Since there's only been "news" that she's "leaving" her husband and there has not been news of her being pregnant again, combined with those cover images, I'd think that Baby Hank died.

Of course then I'd read the text at the bottom of the cover and go "WHAT THE FUCK" and put it back into the rack quickly and get on with purchasing my groceries while rolling my eyes and hard.

Print gossip rags have quite a bit to worry about: no one's buying them. Why should I? I can go to any number of good sites and see the latest pics for free and WAY faster than the tabs. The blogs don't TEND to be as misleading, either. If they are, or if they unknowingly use a photoshopped pic, they're called out on it in the comments immediately. Not so with a paper mag.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at December 9, 2010 2:31 PM

Since nobody else went for the low hanging fruit, allow me.

OMG! Kendra lost her babzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Posted by: Groundloop at December 9, 2010 2:36 PM

Worse than all that, this dumb plastic whore and her made-up dramas takes precedence over the three little boys murdered by their father, who are relegated to lower right.

Apparently they don't count as 'tragic news'. Aaaaalrighty then.

Posted by: msanthropist at December 9, 2010 2:58 PM

And next month when it's her turn to watch the kid again will it be "TRAGIC NEWS! Hank loses his baby" ?

Posted by: Pat C at December 9, 2010 3:15 PM

they get traded around a ton, you'd think she'd know what she signed up for. Ugh.
Posted by: Meg at December 9, 2010 2:28 PM

That's what she said...

Posted by: Xtreme at December 9, 2010 5:13 PM

I can't wait to hear what , has to say about this.

Posted by: figgy at December 9, 2010 7:42 PM

Is that supposed to be her sad face? Because that's the kind of face I can imagine behind a sharp pointy weapon when she hears her husband really does want to leave her and she's standing over his sleeping body trying to decide where to cut first. Dead eyes. Dead and scary eyes.

Posted by: snapnhiss at December 9, 2010 10:00 PM

"Plus, she's the one who married a second-string NFL player - they get traded around a ton, you'd think she'd know what she signed up for. Ugh."

Baskett would be lucky to be 2nd string. He is, I think, 6th on the Vikings depth chart.

Posted by: Sean at December 10, 2010 12:34 AM

OMG! Kendra lost her babzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Posted by: Groundloop at December 9, 2010 2:36 PM
---
That's MY line. Fucking interloper.

figgy,

I'm just sitting back to watch that girl-girl action.

*Enlow/Kendra! Smackdown 2010*

Oh, it'll be glorious. Kick her in the tits AGAIN, Courtney!

Posted by: , at December 10, 2010 1:52 AM

As someone who works in old print media and is concerned about the credibility of my product, I just don't get how anyone would think bald-facedly lying to your customers is a good business model, unless somehow everyone is in on the joke, in a Weekly World News kind of way. I can see how it might sucker some people in a time or two, but how is that sustainable? (Wait a minute: That's how politics has operated for decades .. never mind.)

Meanwhile:

Go, Courtney! Go, Courtney! Go, Courtney! Go, Courtney!

You're hot, and sexy, funny, and wild!

I'm wide awake now.

Posted by: , at December 10, 2010 2:11 AM

I know! That's why I can't believe that newspapers are going for such a short-term business strategy (at least around here).

Dramatic Headlines! "Study shows X causes Y!" "Child Expelled for Being Christian!"

then you read the piece, and around paragraph 16 you get the actual story (after they've told you where it happened, and how shocked people looked when they heard)

"This is not proof, but an interesting finding we need to research more, said the Lead Scientist" "When asked to comment the school said he was suspended for misbehaviour and the parents had chosen not to return to that school"

Sure they pull in a larger number of eyes... initially. Then anyone with any sense realises it's a load of bullshit, reads the actual stories on the web, with actual links to first hand accounts/the actual study/the actual video/press release, and realises "Fuck Newspapers, it's 2010, why should I keep paying to be mislead by hacks and Murdoch?"

The only possible sustainable business model is to be more trustworthy and informative than the burgeoning web reporting culture, but instead they're pissing away their credibility for short term gains.

Posted by: Ender at December 10, 2010 7:23 AM

I've been looking at this magazine cover of Kendra in the banner pic and for the last two days I've been saying to myself that her eyes remind me of someone but I haven't been able to pinpoint it until now. Fucking Karla Homolka (Bernardo). If you don't know who that is, Google it. Same dead eyes. Creepy.

Posted by: Jadine at December 10, 2010 2:55 PM

Jadine,

I see what you mean, but ... Ouch. The hate side of my love/hate relationship with Kendra! knows no bounds, but ... Karla Homolka? Jesus. Kendra! is an idiot with two big boobs and as many brain cells to rub together to conjure a thought. That someone that level of stupid has a TV show and is worth $2 million fascinates me for reasons I don't understand.

But the Bernardos? The Bernardos are purest evil.

Yes, by all means, Google their adventures, and have a barf bag handy.

Posted by: , at December 11, 2010 1:35 AM