Nut Shrinkage and Bacne. Oh, Snooki, You Are A DELIGHT

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | January 4, 2011 | Comments ()

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | January 4, 2011 |


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Selections from A Shore Thing:

He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.

When she slurped the tequila out of that nameless man's navel, I think she was really speaking to the human condition.

Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla.

Her word pictures put me right there at her side. I can almost taste the gorilla. Tastes like stale latex, Cool Water for Men, and regret.

Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a 'roid rage, it is a 'road' 'roid rage.

So 'roidy. Like the storm.

Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.

Me right now:

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I love food. I love drinking, boys, dancing until my feet swell. I love my family, my friends, my job, my boss. And I love my body, especially the badonk.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And we've beheld such beauty. Such elegant, graceful beauty. She's like a swan. Like a pregnant swan.


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