Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Are Together and Every Article about It Is Disgusting
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth first got together several years ago right as Miley went from Hannah Montana to a salvia-tripping, “I Can’t Be Tamed” sex bird.
See? Sex bird. They broke up, amidst rumors of his cheating on her with several women including January Jones, but that wasn’t ever put forward as a reason for their split. Instead, the focus was on her, on how troubled she was, what a partier she was, how he couldn’t deal with how crazy and “gross” she was. This was stupid and terrible. She’s certainly had her problematic moments (TEAM NICKI FOR LIFE), but getting naked and licking things is not among them. You flap your wings, you sex bird.
But recently, the two reunited, like their Nicholas Sparks The Last Song movie come to life (that movie is about a sex bird who breaks up with her cheating boyfriend and gets back with him and also Greg Kinnear has cancer? Right? I haven’t seen it. I choose to believe my narrative.) And, again, the focus is back on wild Miley and how she must change if she wishes to keep perfect beautiful Liam, who is clearly too good for her and her wild antics.
Cyrus “has been cooking and cleaning for Liam, waiting on him hand and foot,” says a source close to the 23-year-old singer, who’s now spending most of her time at the Aussie’s $6.8 million Malibu pad. “She wants to make sure she keeps him.”
Though Cyrus’ wild antics drove the pair apart in September 2013, she’s eager to show the Hunger Games star how she’s matured, going as far as ditching her party-loving entourage. “She either doesn’t answer their calls or says she’s not going out,” adds the insider. “Liam never liked that she got crazy, so Miley’s making big changes. She doesn’t want to screw it up.”
She’s also super totes desperate to lock down her man. From InTouch, via Gossip Cop:
According to InTouch, even though Cyrus and Hemsworth recently reunited, they’re “fighting already” and “at each other’s throats.” What’s the problem? The on-again couple supposedly doesn’t agree on their future.
“Miley is driving Liam crazy. They’re supposed to be taking it slow, but she’s already planned their wedding,” alleges a so-called “insider.” Hemsworth, however, “has no desire to race to the altar.”
She’s bad and dirty and she needs to be made more feminine, more quiet, more GOOD to be worthy. Right?
And she, a massive pop star and celebrity, needs to trap herself this huge major A-lister…’s solid B-list brother. Right?
I don’t really care if you don’t care about Miley Cyrus, or even outright dislike her. This is about the way the media discusses the lives of women who aren’t “ladylike.” And it’s fucking bullshit.
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