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Meghan Markle 1.jpg

Meghan Markle's Half-Sister is the Absolute F*cking WORST

By Kayleigh Donaldson | Celebrity | October 2, 2018 |

By Kayleigh Donaldson | Celebrity | October 2, 2018 |


Meghan Markle 1.jpg

I remain a steadfast left-winger whose belief in the British monarchy extends as far as ‘so when can we abolish them already?’ I think we, and frankly a hell of a lot of Americans, have fetishized this archaic institution for far too long and thus ensured that entrenched privilege reigns supreme. Having said that, every time Meghan Markle’s shitty abusive blackmailing half-sister tries to get press attention, I come so close to pulling out the Union Jacks and engaging in a screaming sing-along of ‘God Save the Queen.’

Seriously, Samantha Grant is THE FUCKING WORST!

And no, I’m not calling her Samantha Markle. She only adopted her maiden name once Meghan started getting press for dating Prince Harry and it wasn’t because she felt a sudden need to reconnect to her roots.

Since the moment it was revealed that Meghan was in a relationship with Harry, Samantha has gone out of her way to exploit the situation. She spent months running to TMZ to talk about what a horrible person Meghan is, then changed tactics and tried to be her ally when that didn’t work. Then she went back to insulting her and claiming she screwed over her ex-husband, all while forgetting to mention that neither Samantha, her creepy brother or her equally shitty dad were invited to Meghan’s first wedding. It’s almost like she had nothing to do with them. For a while, it seemed like Samantha was going to be in the new season of Celebrity Big Brother but that didn’t pan out, nor did her brief moment of Single White Female stalking, which included dying her hair to match Meghan.

Now, she’s back to blackmail. She appeared on Channel 5’s Jeremy Vine show yesterday to ‘apologize’ to Meghan but not really because she never said all those horrible things she was filmed saying. It’s all press garbage, you see. All she wanted was the chance to meet Meghan face to face and patch up things, which was why she had flown out to the UK. Vine, a political journalist with experience in dealing with bullshit, was having none of it. Neither were the show’s viewers, who called in to let Samantha know just how much of a trash bag she was.



I wondered if even writing about this shit-bag was too good for her since she clearly thrives on attention but I think it’s worth noting the tactics both she and Meghan’s father have used in recent months. They trash talk her to the press, secure financial benefits from doing so, then beg to meet Meghan so they can sort things out. This is an abusive tactic. This is emotional manipulation. This is pure narcissism. Meghan’s out there living her best life, her family (or to be more specific, the white side of her family) aren’t benefiting from it, and it’s eating them up inside. So they embarrass her publicly, create a scene and do everything in their power to get her attention. It’s depressing that so many in the British media are eager to assist in this charade, but it’s also clear that the British public don’t buy it. None of this has made people dislike Meghan. Indeed, it’s probably made her more sympathetic, even to us anti-monarchists, and by all reports, the royal family are supportive of her. Well, they would know a thing or two about shitty family members.

Samantha’s blackmail failed and she has since returned home. So, let me say this with as much sympathy as I can muster:

Bye, bitch.



Kayleigh is a features writer for Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter.



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