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Maybe the Children Shouldn't Be Our Future: Jaden Smith Says Things

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrities Are Better than You | September 16, 2013 | Comments ()


Jaden-Smith-Will-Smith-900-600.jpg

It’s always disappointing when you learn someone you enjoy as a performer might just be an unrelenting idiot. That’s pretty much what has happened with Will Smith. And he’s turned out to be my favorite kind of stupid, the “I am impossibly super fucking smart you guys” stupid. This seems to have infected his son, Jaden, who is 15 years old and a moron.

jadenisanidiot.jpg

Well done, person raised with enough money to never actually need to go to school and learn a trade, with an impressionable fanbase who already hate school because they’re annoyed by having to read The Grapes of Wrath because ew, gross, breast milk. And, no, newborn babies would not be the most intelligent people on the planet, Jaden. You know why? BECAUSE THEY’RE FUCKING BABIES.

Here’s the thing, I KNOW we were all fucking morons at 15. Of course we were. But because he’s famous, because his parents are also famous and probably crazy and because he is being raised in a religion entirely devised around nothing but pure and utter insanity, I don’t see this getting better. Also, he’s super besticles with Justin Bieber and dates one of the Jenner-Kardashians, so the force is strong on this one.

Also, why wouldn’t he think this way? He’s apparently never been punished in his whole life. From The Sun:

Will says: “We generally don’t believe in punishment. From the time Jaden was five or six we would sit him down, and all he has to do is be able to explain why what he did was the right thing for his life.

I think it’s a much more difficult question to ask someone — ‘Why was that right?’ — than to try to show them why it was wrong.

“Nobody wants to be wrong, all parts of yourself fight like crazy to not be wrong. So I’ll say to Jaden, ‘Why was that the right thing to do for your life?’ and if he can explain why kicking his sister in the chest was the right thing to do, we can see to it that he understands that it wasn’t so smart.”

That is an absolutely superb way of thinking for literally anyone in the world except a goddamn 5-year-old child because have you ever had to try and have a conversation with one of those? Nonsense.

So, take a rich, ultra-entitled child and NEVER punish him. You know what happens? I don’t know. But his friend has a leopard-print car so I feel like things don’t go up from there.

This is why having children is terrifying. Not that I’m not scared my kid won’t walk out in front of a bus or get the West Nile or something, but mostly, I’m afraid of this. The dumbass teenager period, during which I will become Red Foreman with better hair. Ugh.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Samantha

    Does anyone else take into account that this kid is only 15 years old? Who didn't hate school and think they were being brainwashed when they were 15? He's a child, the things he says shouldn't be taken so seriously.

  • Salieri2

    I have a question about Will Smith, namely: what does this mean?

    “He says, ‘Dad, I want to be emancipated.’ I know if we do this, he can be an emancipated minor, because he really wants to have his own place, like ooh. That’s the backlash. On the other side, if kids just want to have command of their lives, I understand,” Smith explained.

    http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/...

    What's the backlash, "like ooh"? That's backlash? Is Will Smith basically saying that there's equivalent decision-making weight to "like ooh" vs "kids want to have command of their lives"? I am so befuddled. I can't watch the video of the Ellen show to understand the context, if that would even help when discussing what he had previously said in a Sun interview, but I find the attached article's casual use of quotation marks confusing.

    UPDATE: Even though Jaden Smith has said he wanted to be emanicapted [sic] when he turns 15, the rapper-actor no longer seems interested in the idea of leaving his parents' house. "I'm not going anywhere," Jaden says during an interivew [sic] with "Ellen," which also featured Will Smith. "The thing that people don't get is everything at his house is free."

    Apparently Jaden himself said that last bit. Which people, Jaden? I'm pretty sure the majority of us chattering classes discussing this nonsense are well aware you're not paying rent and shopping for groceries while living at "his" house.

  • Lucia

    that's the funniest shit I've read all day hahahahhahaah

  • Lizzy

    "...newborn babies would not be the most intelligent people on the planet, Jaden. You know why? BECAUSE THEY’RE FUCKING BABIES."

    Courtney - you confuse intelligence with knowledge. Intelligence is the innate ability to learn, not how much stuff we know. It is a measure of how quickly and thoroughly we process information, and this is something we are born with. So yes - babies can display intelligence from day one.

    Also - he has a point about school being a tool to brainwash youth. He may be putting it a little strongly, but it is true that in most American schools, kids are taught WHAT to think, not HOW to think. Jaden is not the moron you seem to think he is.

  • Actually, newborns have not yet developed the cognitive function to exhibit intelligence. Their brains are still forming connections.

    I'm having a bit of a disconnect between your statement that children have the innate ability to learn and the fact that you think they don't do so at school. If you are saying that critical thinking is not a priority, I would agree to an extent, largely due to the trend of teaching to standardized tests. However, having seen my children though their educational process thus far, I would have to argue that they are not, in fact, brainwashed, but are consistently challenged to come up with ideas and approaches of their own, and to express opinions on what they read and what they think it means or implies about the world around them. And I live in a rural area that is fairly consistently average according to all the metrics used for education in this country. Despite the conservative bent to most public school education these days (thanks, Texas textbook companies!), my children have yet to adopt any of those opinions as their own.

    Jaden may not be a moron, but there is hard evidence to suggest that it is he who has succumbed to the brainwashing of his parents' religion...

  • Lizzy

    Actually, the role of genetics has been shown to be much more influential in intelligence than environment. Since a baby is born with his genetics intact, so is his intelligence. The expression of intelligence comes as the child begins to interact with his environment more. And your brain and my brain and everyone's brain are still forming new connections constantly, and will until we die.

    I never said kids don't learn in school. They learn a great deal, and not always only the material that the teachers give them. Even the most intelligent kid can flunk out if he doesn't spit out what they school makes him spit out for The Test.
    I'm sorry that your kids have to go to school in Texas (LOL) but if they go to a school in which original opinions and ideas are encouraged, then they are very very lucky and they will grow into thoughtful, independent adults, and kudos to you for supporting them this way! I also raised my girls to be critical thinkers. It got them into a lot of trouble at school when they questioned teachers, but I have no regrets!

  • Clarification: My kids go to school in Illinois. But textbooks are generally based on what Texas will buy, which is why that state has undue influence on national curricula.

  • kirbyjay

    Hollywood/Scientology
    There's your answer right there. Not one, but two completely abnormal upbringings. The kid never had a chance.

  • BarbadoSlim

    God I hate that fucking kid.

  • googergieger

    Honestly, I'd sell my soul for a ps4, so this kid being fucking richtarded for a bajillion dollars makes it hard for me to attack the stupid re-re.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Maybe you should go with Dustin on his pregnancy suit shopping trip, Courtney (see the "10 Things I Hate Abut You" post if that makes no sense). It's better to be proactive about these things.

  • John G.

    I remember some podcast I was listening to, and the person ended up at Will Smith's house for something, and he had to wait for Will Smith for a bit. It was morning, so the butler or one of the servants asked if he wanted anything for breakfast. He didn't know what to order, so he said he would have some eggs.

    The cook said "what kind of eggs, sir? Brown, White, Quail, Ostrich, etc"

    This kid has grown up in a house where they always have fucking Ostrich eggs on hand as a breakfast choice. What do they do with everything they don't eat that goes bad, just so they are capable of offering anything anyone could want? How's a kid supposed to grow up normal in an environment like that?

  • BlackRabbit

    Make him take the eggs from the Ostrich himself. THAT will teach you something, I'd think.

  • Discostu004

    You guys are just jealous because jaden be more smarter and more importanter than anyone else. He's earned his place. If his mom and dad were john and Jill smith he would be rockin big times movies and plugging one of those ghastly Jenner skanks faster than you can say "parents just don't understand"

  • bbmcrae

    Put down the Zima, pal.

  • The Mama

    "...but mostly, I’m afraid of this. The dumbass teenager period, during which I will become Red Foreman with better hair."

    I have to say, I think Red was a pretty good dad. He was far from perfect, but I think the writers managed to show that he loves his kids (and his kids' friends). Besides, the episode where he rescued Hyde sealed the deal for me.

    As far as punishment goes, I've got a nine year old. She's rarely punished. Then again, she rarely does things that require punishing. And I don't say that to brag, because she is very often a PITA, but she knows what is expected of her, and she does it, and she knows the consequences if she doesn't.

    The again, she's only nine. I'm counting the days until she's fifteen and she slams her bedroom door one too many times and I get to take it off the hinges for six months. Not that I have any personal experience in that happening to me. Ahem.

  • "So, take a rich, ultra-entitled child and NEVER punish him. You know what happens?" He becomes Caligula, that's what happens.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Or Joffrey.

  • Same thing.

  • Brooke Michelle

    “We generally don’t believe in punishment. From the time Jaden was five or six we would sit him down, and all he has to do is be able to explain why what he did was the right thing for his life."

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tum...

  • DeaconG

    Yes, that's what my mother did too...before she unleashed the belt or the extension cord on my young, impressionable ass.

    Anyone remember the Richard Pryor standup when he talks about his mother ordering him to get a switch to beat his own ass with? HE. WASN'T. LYING.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Wasn't that Bill Cosby? "Go get me something to beat you with!"

  • DeaconG

    May have, it's been awhile since I heard either one.

  • Guest

    “We generally don’t believe in punishment. From the time Jaden was five or six we would sit him down, and all he has to do is be able to explain why what he did was the right thing for his life."

  • e jerry powell

    Are we sure that he wasn't trying to punk people?

    (Okay, I know he's not, but benefit of the doubt and shit.)

  • Marc Greene

    Well for most 15 year old boys, a talking newborn would seem more intelligent as it has at least seen a vagina in person...

  • Guest

    Maybe something went wrong while he had his last auditing.
    Every normal person should disconnect from him and his family and dont watch their movies or listen to their songs, so he can get better.

  • JoAnnaSpring

    Or, you know, he's a philosopher.

    "I have always been regretting that I was not as wise as the day I was born." - Henry David Thoreau

  • kirivinokur

    Experience only dumbs you down! Right?

  • JoAnnaSpring

    I think Thoreau's point is that we often lose ourselves in bending to the expectations and norms of society. Or that we get distracted by stupid, irrelevant shit and end up thinking things are important when really they're not, which is a mistake a baby doesn't make as their worlds are much more simple.

    It is a disservice to boil down all of Thoreau's work into a single quote, I realize, but I wanted to point out that the idea has been proposed before by minds greater than Jaden.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Indeed, much greater.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

    Oh wait, that's the opposite of what you meant. (I know where you - and Jaden, for that matter - but his phrasing is all wrong.)

  • PDamian

    I'm thinking all of those tweets could be condensed into one single, cogent, concise statement: "My Parents Have Insane Amounts Of Money And I've Never Been Held Accountable For My Actions, Therefore You Will Read My Pseudo-Deep Tweets And Worship Them As Gospel Truth."

    Agreed -- Privileged 15-year-old writing equals ignorance/stupidity, and we should probably cut the kid some slack. But right now, all I can see is the douchebaggery. And let's face it, douchebags come in all sizes, all colors, all ages, and all creeds.

  • As a ray of hope, Courtney, I offer the fact that my teenage sons are not idiots, do not remotely believe they know everything, and are really decent human beings. Teenagers don't have to be hell, as long as you let them be teenagers sometimes, and responsible people the rest of the time. I suggest starting this method when they're 3, and just adapting through the life stages. Which is the long way of saying I totally embraced laissez-faire parenting, and it's kept me from needing xanax.

  • Lizzy

    YAY!! I love your take on parenting! I was the same way with my girls and they were never, and are not now, morons. I wish all parents understood their kids as well as you do! Thanks!! Your kids are very lucky!

  • Slash

    His name is Jaden*. That's all you really need to know about whether to pay attention to what he's saying. Plus, the being 15 thing.

    * Yes, that's right. I'm ridiculing his name. Because it's fucking ridiculous. Nobody should be named Jaden.

  • Still not as bad as 'Skyler.' Or 'Dakota.'

  • tracey8051

    Hey, my daughter's middle name is Jade... I spit at you!!!

    Damn, now I have to go clean my computer.....

  • BWeaves

    Jade's at least a real name. Jaden is made up.

  • Lizzy

    It's not made up. I know several Jadens, both boys and girls. My daughter dated a guy named Jaden in high school. I think it's a great name!

  • Salieri2

    Eh, its status as an "authentic" (not made-up-by-late-20th-century-parents-stringing-syllables-together) name rests on its relationship to the Biblical/Hebrew "Jadon," which you can also find spelled "Jaden."

    Personally, looking at this chart,

    http://www.ourbabynamer.com/Ja...

    it's hard for me to believe that the massive uptick in Jadens between 1998* and 2003 doesn't have more to do with the internet's flooding us with celebrity garbage-data about movie stars' families than the Hebrew meaning, "G-d has heard, G-d will judge, thankful."

    *the year young Master Smith was born, coincidentally or not.

  • Lizzy

    The Jaden I'm talking about was born in 1990. And anyway, who cares where the name came from? I like it!

  • Slash

    It's a terrible name, esp. for a male. All those parents should feel bad.

  • BWeaves

    OK, Will Smith's kid is the first time I'd heard the name.

  • mairimba

    The kids' names remind me of that Fresh Prince episode where one of Will's girlfriends tells him at one point that she wants to have a bunch of kids but none of them were going to have any variation of his name. And that's exactly what he and Jada did in real life.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Well, maybe a half-elf mage. I could let that slide.

  • BlackRabbit

    Or a Jedi.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Jaden Korr?

  • BlackRabbit

    Solo?

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Oh, right. Played the game, but never read the books.

  • BlackRabbit

    Me neither-somewhere I just picked up that name. :)

  • $27019454

    I do not understand why any ANY parent allows a child to have a twitter account or a facebook account. Presumably, every parent was once an idiot teen. Unless one's memory had been wiped clean by thetanses (!) why would one allow one's offspring, whom one presumably loves and wants to protect, the ability and tools to commit social suicide/memory masochism? I have 2 teens. They are basically amish, compared to all their friends. There is NOFA KING way I would allow that.

  • My kids have Facebook accounts, but we had a discussion early on explaining the fact that the internet is forever, therefore act accordingly. I am friends with them on FB, and I've never seen them involved in outrageous jackassery - or horrible spelling. We have standards, damn it.

  • Fredo

    Because OMG, if not, they would like totally be the weird kids at school, but not like the really weird kids, like those Christian Funyunmentalist kids who dress like they're going to a costume party at Halloween everyday and still have flip phones, but sort of weird like the kids who moved from Mexico or whatever and don't know English and, OMG, I can't believe we're all going on a cruise next weekend! I gotta twitpic from the deck of the ship! My friends are going to be so jealous!

  • Marc Greene

    That's what happens when the playground is where you spend most of your days...

  • Maybe if he got into one little fight, it might adjust his perspective.

  • PerpetualIntern

    Although his mom will get scared.

  • If anything I could say this comment was rare, but then I thought 'Nah.'

  • BWeaves

    THANK GOTOPUS that the Internet did NOT exist when I was a teenager. Nothing I said or did in school will ever be brought back to haunt me, because there is no proof and my school mates memories are worse than mine. But even better, whatever stupid thing I said or did was not broadcast around the world for bullying from the entire planet.

  • mswas

    Hear hear! Thankfully my teenage mantras were only ever written on the brown paper bag covers of my school books, or folded up into tiny 2x2" squares of notebook paper.

  • Lizzy

    (It's "Here here," as in "Here's to you!")

  • BWeaves

    Nope, sorry. Per The Grammarist website:

    http://grammarist.com/spelling...

    Hear, hear vs. here, here

    Hear, hear (usually with a comma and set apart as a self-containedsentence) is the conventional spelling of the colloquial exclamation used to express approval for a speaker or sentiment. It’s essentially short for hear him, hear him or hear this, hear this, where these phrases are a sort of cheer.

    Here, here is widely regarded as a misspelling, although it is a common one, and there are ways to logically justify its use. But for what it’s worth, hear, hear is the original form (the Oxford English Dictionary cites examples going back to the 17th century) and is the one listed in dictionaries. English reference books mention here, here only to note that it’s wrong.

  • mswas

    No it's not, it's as in "hear him, hear him." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H...

  • Sarabi

    Scientology.

  • steven wiser

    ALL my nieces and nephews are pre-teens and teenagers and majority of my time with them is spent restraining myself from telling them they are total morons, even the oldest one who is 22. Patterns, BOOM!

  • Tinkerville

    Here’s the thing, I KNOW we were all fucking morons at 15. Of course we were. But ...he is being raised in a religion entirely devised around nothing but pure and utter insanity.."

    This exactly. I said and believed a lot of dumb shit when I was fifteen. Rereading journals from high-school is nothing short of trauma inducing. I'm also sure there's a great deal that I say and do now that I'm going to seriously cringe at in a couple of decades. But I feel like Scientology is very much to blame for his thinking that school is brainwashing the masses since he's never been exposed to anything remotely resembling true education in his life and I think it goes beyond a typical "fuck school" mentality.

  • Jezzer

    Here's a fun Rainy Day Challenge for you: do a Google Image Search for Jaden and try to find pictures of him with his mouth closed.

  • mswas

    I just realized that in a lot of recent photos, my 14yo does the raised eyebrow facial pose. Is this a thing those young whippersnappers are doing these days?

  • Mrs. Julien

    Are they at least avoiding duckface?

  • mswas

    Thankfully, so far yes.

  • IngridToday

    Or without a look of confusion.
    I feel like his "acting" career is going to consist entirely of movies his dad's company makes or straight to video.

  • While you're there, try finding a photo of Mariah Carey walking without assistance.

  • Mrs. Julien

    [snicker]

  • Mrs. Julien

    Will there be a cage match against Jessica Simpson?

  • Tinkerville

    Let's throw Miley Cyrus in there, too.

  • $27019454

    Scarlett Johanssen!! Catching flies!!

  • Mrs. Julien

    Was this graded on a curve to account for the fact that he has been raised in a cult? Because y'all are totally being Suppressive Persons right now.

  • NateMan

    Suppressive Person sounds like an awesome job. They must go around keeping people from discovering the truth of things. Kinda like a Man in Bla--

    HOLY SHIT WILL SMITH IS A SUPPRESSIVE PERSON AND THE MEN IN BLACK MOVIE WAS JUST AN ATTEMPT TO THROW OFF SUSPICION YOU GUYS THIS IS FOR REAL I FOUND AN AGENT OF XENU!!!

  • Bert_McGurt

    Well I guess it turns out "Parents Just Don't Understand" was a prediction rather than a complaint.

  • NateMan

    I'm going to go with "He's 15yrs old, and his parents let him use twitter." I've heard dumber shit from kids. Pretty sure I said plenty of it too.

  • DeistBrawler

    To be fair I really wonder how parents can restrict their online behavior. I mean...if the kid really wants to get on twitter he'll find a way. I'm sure he has every electronic device known to man in the newest model. I've seen 8 year olds who can sneak around their parents roadblocks. He's 15.

    Take that away? He can use one of the ones around the house, or a friends, etc.

  • Lee

    I think the point is that people like our young Smith, there are no road blocks at all. And 15 year olds with no road blocks are a disaster begging to happen.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Yes...that was my thought too. Although reading about the punishment techniques, and then the patterns (hey, do the Smiths know that phsyicists and, hell, even engineers, already use multiple dimensions to figure stuff out?)...it was almost the funniest thing in my day. But the Tyler Perry email is still eking out a victory.

    Oh, now I feel racist.

  • NateMan

    Eh, it's more racist to think black people can't be as capable of self-righteous, oblivious jackassery as white folks. And that was indeed a great pair.

  • Stupid brings us all together! We are the wooooorrrlld...

  • Whichlips

    We are planet!

  • Maya

    Why the hell does he Capitalize Every Damn Word?? He could stand to take a basic English class...

  • kirbyjay

    He is Jusden Blackbeiber

  • Mrs. Julien

    AT LEAST HE'S NOT PULLING THE OWEN MEANEY!

  • Wigamer

    OWEN WAS WEE & COULD NOT BE HEARD!!!

  • bastich

    bETTER tHAN tHE aLTERNATIVE....

  • Whichlips

    False dichotomy.

  • bastich

    Well of course! I like my logic like I like my women...fuzzy.

  • NateMan

    Well played.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Because He Is Dropping Truths.

  • Jakesalterego

    You're Just Saying That Because You've Been Brainwashed.

  • Evolve Today

    But then he wouldn't be smart anymore...or...something...

  • Gavin Smith

    Poor kid. He will never know what it is to be a real person.

  • Wednesday

    Aren't there special Scientology schools that basically take the whole Unschooling concept to ridiculous heights? I've only read a little bit about them, but this sounds like their propaganda bleeding through.

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