Matt Damon, Pranks, And The Unending Flurry Of Confused Emotions

By Emily Chambers | Celebrity | June 30, 2016 | Comments ()

By Emily Chambers | Celebrity | June 30, 2016 |


Remember when Vivian talked to us about the appropriate levels of our personal investment in celebrities? One, she was totally right. That shit was weird. Two, I feel precariously over-invested in Matt Damon. Specifically, if I like Matt Damon or not.

And really, it shouldn’t matter. Damon’s entire personality is much like his blandly attractive (or is it attractively bland?) face. He just exists; being neither compelling nor odious enough to elicit strong feelings one way or another. But every time I see him, I run through a mental checklist of all of his pros and cons.

Pro: The Bourne Identity legitimately kicked all of the asses.

Con: Damon said a lot of weird shit about what gay actors should be doing in regard to their private and professional lives when no one asked him for his shitty advice.

Pro: He does have a long and dedicated record to charities and activism.

Con: Those shitty, shitty, completely wrong comments on diversity.

Pro: He was really good in The Martian.

Con: But not good enough to win a goddamn Golden Globe as a fucking comedy. WTF, Hollywood Foreign Press?

Not-Necessarily-About-Damon-But-Still-A-Con-For-This-Video: I hate pranks. Because as Courtney pointed out, pranks are almost always horrible.

But even I can acknowledge that a good natured, well-crafted, harmless prank can be funny. Meaning the intersection of a video of Damon pulling pranks on unsuspecting people has given me a lot of very complicated feelings.

Ok, that was actually pretty funny. But the video is to promote the next Bourne installment, which will probably suck. Second-But the entire video and prank is to raise money for which seems to be a pretty stellar charity.

And so the cycle continues. At least we can all agree, Damon is better than his life partner.

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