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Lindsay Lohan vs. Amanda Bynes: Two Child Stars Enter, Both Run You Over as They Leave

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrities Are Better than You | September 18, 2012 | Comments ()

Lindsay Lohan, naturally, had some thoughts. Or, more accurately, she had words, pictures and shiny shapes that filled her headspace and she put those on her Twitter machine.


Okay, let's be real here: neither of these two Beatrix Twatters should be on the road, ever. Driving, bicycling, jogging, walking on their hands, NOTHING. Just stay home and color. BUT. Lindsay Lohan playing the horrified victim card is literally laugh out loud hilarious, because let's look at Lindsay's spotless driving record:

I cannot say or stress this enough: there is no rehab for being an asshole. Lindsay Lohan will be a useless assbag until she dies or fades away into nothingness, existing only as a strange Phoebe Price-like creature, only one who actually once did something. She could quit doing every substance under the sun tomorrow--it won't change the fact that she's an entitled dick.

Amanda Bynes, on the other hand...she I kind of think might have a real problem. Not necessarily a drug or drink problem either. Like...a Britney problem. So, I won't say anything more about her until her management team forces her to go to rehab for appearances, then the doctors there figure out what's actually up with her.

So, I wish you good luck and happy travels, Amanda Bynes. But as for the open road...


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