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Jennifer Lopez is the Most Fascinating

By Courtney Enlow | Posted Under Celebrities Are Better than You | Comments (13)

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In the most exciting news this side of that new Vanessa Carlton album (I really think she’s going to be big, you guys), Jennifer Lopez has been named one of Barbara Walters’ Most Fascinating People.

It’s a great time to be Jennifer Lopez. People are constantly talking about her, you can’t open up a magazine without her face plastered all over it, and I read a great deal about her on my MSN homepage when logging into my Hotmail account.

I just know that in some hypothetical 8 years, she won’t be a minor blip, perhaps gaining momentary interest by joining onto some dying reality show, then watching that brief surge float away like dandelion seeds, thereby causing intense confusion when she is named one of the Most Fascinating People of 2010. Enough will be a memorable classic, definitely not relegated to the Lifetime Movie Network. Her music will most certainly be all over the charts, and no one will have forgotten her entire music career ever existed, unable to name a single one of her songs. And she definitely won’t be married to a man who suffers from a lack of flesh anywhere on his skull.

I just hope she doesn’t crash and burn like that Justin Timberlake clown will. As if some pussy boy bander could ever break out solo. That fate won’t befall Jen. She’s here to stay like Firefly.









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Comments

Seriously? Oh Bahbwa, you are so gloriously out of touch. Ha! The cast of Jersey Shore is on there too. Does this special air on E!?

JLO did look pretty good in that dress though. You gotta give her that.

Posted by: becks at November 30, 2010 2:25 PM

I loved this, but that last line was just hurtful.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at November 30, 2010 2:27 PM

So, I read the article this links to. Apparently they are surprised that the girls from Jersey Shore are buying a house on Long Island instead of NJ. This should not be shocking, as those people typify Long Island more than the Jersey Shore. Oh, also, as none of them are FROM FRIGGIN NEW JERSEY, why would they need a house there? Let them move to the land where gtl is a daily way of life, not just a seasonal one. Also, make them go away.

Posted by: KatSings at November 30, 2010 2:40 PM

/checks date
//sees it's 2003
///runs out to buy Facebook stock

Posted by: Fredo at November 30, 2010 2:42 PM

This is great since my #1 source for what's "fascinating" is a 93-year-old mushmouth who's spent the last decade surrounded by shrieking harpies and soft lenses.

Beiber, Lopez, Palin and the Jersey Shore cast are not at all one-dimensional, predictable, narcissistic famewhores. In fact, I'm looking forward to Barbara spelunking the murky depths of JWoww's mind grapes.

Posted by: Kballs at November 30, 2010 2:44 PM

I've been thinkin' for awhile now, with my Friday (and more frequently when I'm covering for the M-Th dude) exposure to 'The View' that Barbara is slowly "losing it." Her grasp is slipping; ever so slowly, I concede, but with an occasional fast-forward.
Jen, as much as my dangly bits are forever enamored with her (and my bent-to-fubar mind thinking that Enough wasn't THAT bad), being added to such a list is proof of Babs' ever-doddering dotage.

Posted by: Rykker at November 30, 2010 2:44 PM

She’s here to stay like Firefly.

Ouch Court. That stings.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at November 30, 2010 2:44 PM

I can't believe Mr. T didn't make the list.

Posted by: admin at November 30, 2010 2:48 PM

I can't believe Mr. T didn't make the list.

I know, right?

Especially after his starring performance in the "Flavorwave Turbo" infomerical.

"My tas'buds is goin' wil'!!"
(translation: "My tastebuds are going wild.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYEEfjw2mHk
(quote from 2:06 to 2:08)

Posted by: Rykker at November 30, 2010 3:18 PM

And she definitely won’t be married to a man who suffers from a lack of flesh anywhere on his skull.

He looks like Skeletor!! Why doesn't she see this?!?

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at November 30, 2010 3:18 PM

Heeee, Mel.

Posted by: figgy at November 30, 2010 5:12 PM

Um Sarah Palin was on the list 3 years in a row? Now I can totally take this seriously.

She’s here to stay like Firefly.
Too soon.


Posted by: FC at November 30, 2010 5:34 PM

JWho?

Posted by: , at December 1, 2010 10:59 AM