film / tv / streaming / politics / web / celeb/ news / video / love / lists / think pieces / misc / staff / advertise / cbr
film / tv / streaming / politics / web / celeb

If John Oliver Is a Man Of His Word, We'll See Him Guzzling a Bud Light This Weekend

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | June 2, 2015 | Comments ()

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | June 2, 2015 |




If you still haven’t watched this weekend’s episode of Last Week Tonight, you’ve missed out on John Oliver’s spectacular takedown of FIFA president Sepp Blatter.

Oliver was willing to go to great lengths to encourage human garbage heap Blatter’s removal from office. He even tried appealing to FIFA’s corporate sponsors, begging and bargaining with them to pull their business unless Blatter is fired.

Please, make Sepp Blatter go away. I will do anything. Adidas, I will wear one of your ugly shoes that make me look like the Greek god of aspiring DJs. McDonald’s, I will take a bite out of every item on your dollar menu, which tastes like normal food that was cursed by a vindictive wizard.

As Emily wrote on Monday, this isn’t just a matter of disliking the guy; Blatter’s corruption has been responsible for many, MANY deaths. So while Oliver’s willingness to sacrifice his body may seem extreme, you can’t say it wouldn’t be worth the result.

I will even make the ultimate sacrifice: Budweiser, if you pull your support and help get rid of Blatter, I will … personally drink one of your disgusting items. … It can be a Bud Light. I will even drink a Bud Light Lime, despite the fact that all the lime in the world cannot disguise the fact that this tastes like a puddle beneath a Long John Silver dumpster. But I will do it. I will drink one, making eye contact with the camera, and I will say it was delicious. Because if you get rid of the Swiss demon who has ruined the sport I love, this stuff will taste like fucking champagne.
And while today’s announcement of Blatter’s resignation may or may not have anything at all to do with advertisers, John Oliver seems to think this is enough of a victory to let it slide.




Get entertainment, celebrity and politics updates via Facebook or Twitter. Buy Pajiba merch at the Pajiba Store.

Is Stephen King's Dark Tower Adaptation Finally Happening? | This Caityln Jenner Piece from 'The Daily Show' Proves Jon Stewart's Still The Best Game In Town




Bigots, Trolls & MRAs Are Not Welcome in the Comments


The Pajiba Store


petr-pajiba.png




Privacy Policy