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Human Tofu with Stubble, Sam Worthington, Arrested For Rightfully Punching Paparazzo

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrities Are Better than You | February 24, 2014 | Comments ()


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I’m not one to condone violence, and quite honestly, I’m surprised that uncooked Tofu can batter a man without falling apart, but the Paparazzo that Sam Worthington punched in the face probably deserved it.

Why? Because the paparazzo — probably to get a better angle on Worthington — kicked Sam’s girlfriend in the shins, leaving a bruise. Why anyone would want so badly to get a photo of Sam Worthington is something of a mystery, since plaque is more interesting than he is. Nevertheless, the photographer was also arrested, and while Worthington — who was merely trying to enjoy a drink with his girlfriend at a bar in New York — was charged with assault for the laceration he left on the photographers’s nose, the photographer himself was charged with assault, reckless endangerment and harassment.

Note to Alec Baldwin: If you’d just kept your mouth shut instead of rattling off offensive words and punched the member of paparazzi, you’d be hailed as a hero instead of a bigot.

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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • loo shag brolley

    Tofu at the very least picks up the flavors of what you add it to. The same cannot be said of Mr. Worthington.

  • JustOP

    I don't think Sam Worthington has the capacity to play these action movie roles. He just has this sort of quiet nature about him, and it feels sort of forced when he plays the 'badass'. I don't know whether he has done any, but it'd be interesting to see how he would play a quiet/down on his luck/sombre sorta character.

  • BiblioGlow

    How about a very quiet, efficient, and mysterious spysassin?
    He can team up with Charming Potato, who will be the flashy and talkative Sundance Kid to his thoughtful Butch Cassidy, the cheery Thelma to his murderous Louise. Tofu and Taters, spysassins extraordinaire. Bam, title and tagline. You're welcome, Hollywood.

  • Jezzer

    How low-key do you have to be as an actor to work with Charming Potato and have him billed as the "flashy one"?

  • BiblioGlow

    You obviously have not witnessed the sparkle fest that is Magic Mike.
    (Full disclosure: Neither have I. I just assume that at some point there is a cloud of glitter involved, in a David-Bowie-Labyrinth sort of way.)

  • dizzylucy

    I've already forgotten who this article was about.

  • NateMan

    Worthington should never have hair. That's a dome that demands either a Bic or buzzcut.

  • Bananapanda

    Is it wrong that I give celebrities a pass for hitting paparazzi? I just think they're vile, with a pack mentality that stops at nothing. I'd be terrified if a group of men chased me down the street, hemmed me in, yelled stuff at me or shoved cameras within 3 ft of me.

  • loo shag brolley

    They make a mockery of both the First Amendment and photography. They're absolute scum and contirbute nothing of worth to society. Fellini was too polite when he first referred to them as mosquitos.

  • NateMan

    When I become dictator there will be times when punching someone will be perfectly legal. These include, but are not limited to:
    *When someone takes your picture without your express permission.
    *When someone calls you, an acquaintance, or a complete stranger a bigoted or misogynistic term right in front of you.
    *When a fully-abled person uses a handicapped parking spot.
    *When someone is texting while driving.
    *When anyone insists the Twilight series is better than Harry Potter.

  • Sorry, Bruce Lee, apparently boards do hit back.

  • stella

    Aww...he was pretty decent not that Helen Mirren spy movie...

  • Some Guy

    *Rimshot*

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