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Harper's Bazaar Let Kim Kardashian Interview Elizabeth Taylor

By Courtney Enlow | Posted Under Celebrities Are Better than You | Comments (44)



elizabeth-taylor.jpg

I was all set and ready to write yet another “What the fuck is wrong with you and why are you like this?” post about Lindsay Lohan. I had already accepted the coming “Who cares and why are you wasting words on her?” comments.

Then, I saw this. And the murder lump rose in my throat.

Let me break this down. Kim Kardashian, who is famous for not being smart, not being good at talking, being offensively boring and dull, and getting pissed on while being videotaped, was allowed by a once respected publication to interview an icon.

I can’t. This is too much.

Elizabeth Taylor has devoted much of her life to charity, donating and raising millions of dollars, well into the hundreds of millions of dollars, to AIDS foundations. She suffers from congestive heart failure, has broken her back five times, has had her hips replaced, has survived both a brain tumor operation and skin cancer, has scoliosis, and has almost died from multiple bouts of pneumonia. She has been married 8 times, divorced 7 and widowed once. Mere days before he died of a brain hemorrhage, the love of her life wrote her saying he hoped for another chance with her. She has been vilified and sainted again and again throughout her life, and she carries on to this day, the picture of class and survival.

Kim Kardashian got her cellulite vacuumed on basic cable.

So, perhaps you can share and understand my pain. And if you can’t, just read this.

Kardashian, who, in fairness, is not good at doing things that involve brain power and certainly is not adept at the art of the interview, questions Taylor as though she’s a 4th grade girl writing a paper on a random old person. Her questions are cliched, as only someone who knows nothing about the very person they have decided is their idol can come up with. It’s like if Megan Fox interviewed Marilyn Monroe and only said, “you have big boobs and had sex with the president, SO COOL!”

A taste:

KIM KARDASHIAN: You are my idol. But I’m six husbands and some big jewels behind. What should I do?

ELIZABETH TAYLOR: I never planned to acquire a lot of jewels or a lot of husbands. For me, life happened, just as it does for anyone else. I have been supremely lucky in my life in that I have known great love, and of course I am the temporary custodian of some incredible and beautiful things. But I have never felt more alive than when I watched my children delight in something, never more alive than when I have watched a great artist perform, and never richer than when I have scored a big check to fight AIDS. Follow your passion, follow your heart, and the things you need will come.

KK: For this story, we were inspired by Cleopatra. What’s your advice on how to be a queen?

ET: I have never wanted to be a queen! Cleopatra was a role, and I am an actor, so it was fun to play one, but it’s not real. The real Cleopatra had an incredibly complicated life, and she had to be very, very canny to survive as long as she did. For me, the most interesting thing about her was her passion. The things that are important to me—being a mother, a businesswoman, an activist—are all things that were borne out of great passion.

KK: Do you think if Richard Burton were alive today, you’d be married to him?

ET: It was inevitable that we would be married again, but it’s not up for discussion.

KK: You have always been ahead of your time—and now you’re on Twitter. What do you love about it? And [cheekily] will you please follow me? [and Courtney vomits all over her keyboard]

A) Everything KK does is “cheekily.” Because she has a giant ass, you see. B) Yes, I’m lashing out cruelly and angrily and maybe I’m supposed to be above enormous ass cracks (heh), but this bitch has done it. More so, Harper’s Bazaar has done it. Fuck every single person involved in this story not named Elizabeth Taylor, who very probably has no idea what a Kim Kardashian is.

Let’s drink the brain bleach and visit a happier time.









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Comments

I've given up on being mad or surprised at this kind of shit. Good on Ms. Taylor for being so gracious and not putting Baby Kim in the corner for being "pert".

Posted by: Ian at February 10, 2011 2:13 PM

I never planned to acquire a lot of jewels or a lot of husbands. For me, life happened, just as it does for anyone else. I have been supremely lucky in my life in that I have known great love, and of course I am the temporary custodian of some incredible and beautiful things. But I have never felt more alive than when I watched my children delight in something, never more alive than when I have watched a great artist perform, and never richer than when I have scored a big check to fight AIDS. Follow your passion, follow your heart, and the things you need will come.

My God, what a beautiful answer. It shows wisdom, humility and a great wealth of kindness. Ms. Taylor is a paragon of virtue.

Posted by: superasente at February 10, 2011 2:14 PM

"But I have never felt more alive than when I watched my children delight in something, never more alive than when I have watched a great artist perform, and never richer than when I have scored a big check to fight AIDS. Follow your passion, follow your heart, and the things you need will come."

Wow, I love E. Taylor. So so much.

Posted by: Chickaboom at February 10, 2011 2:18 PM

Quote jinx, Suprasente!

Posted by: Chickaboom at February 10, 2011 2:18 PM

Kim wouldn't make a bad Cleopatra in that both are known primarily for their sexual escapades and she probably looks a lot more like Cleopatra than Liz ever did. That said, Cleopatra was also renown for her cunning while Kim is just renown for her . . . Oh, never mind.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at February 10, 2011 2:19 PM

I seriously wish people would just stop paying attention to Kim.

Here's an idea, she's not a celebrity, she's not anything. She's the spoiled daughter of some rich people...just like Paris Hilton. If everyone would just fucking ignore her she wouldn't exist.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at February 10, 2011 2:33 PM

There was a recent interview in what I believe was GQ, maybe British GQ, in which Naomi Campbell interviews Vladmir Putin. It was bizarre and weird. She may not be as dumb as Kim Kardashian, but asks equally dumb, bizarre questions.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/feb/01/naomi-campbell-vladimir-putin-interview

Posted by: Nimue at February 10, 2011 2:34 PM

Hahaha I looooove how Liz is all "Bitch, what the fuck kind of fucking questions are you asking? Hey, guess what! CLEOPATRA WASN'T REAL, you unimaginable twat. Stop asking me about my dead fucking husband. What the fuck am I doing here? This bitch ain't worthy of smelling my White Diamonds farts, let alone ask me questions. I am LIZ FUCKING TAYLOR. I WILL TRAMPLE THIS BITCH TO THE GROUND."

Or at least that's what I imagine is going through her head.

Posted by: Figgy at February 10, 2011 2:37 PM

So when did getting pissed become so gauche?

Posted by: Pookie at February 10, 2011 2:39 PM

DB,

Too late! We're stuck with her forever.

When Liz finally steps off, I might finally believe those "Brave Last Hours" headlines the tabs will roll out again. According to them, no A-list celeb ever died whimpering and sobbing and cursing motherfucking fate like a little girl.

Posted by: , at February 10, 2011 2:40 PM

We've got so much of this crap on every other site and yet there hasn't been a movie review posted in five days, during oscar season. Just change the banner to "why bother" already.

Posted by: Phat girl at February 10, 2011 2:41 PM

Hey, guess what! CLEOPATRA WASN'T REAL, you unimaginable twat.

She wasn't? You sure?

You better check your sources.

Posted by: superasente at February 10, 2011 2:46 PM

As painful to read as it was to see KK "act" in a Super Bowl spot.

Posted by: James S at February 10, 2011 2:47 PM

@Tracer Bullet: It's "renowned." Not "renown." One is a verb, the other is a noun.

Posted by: kate the great at February 10, 2011 2:47 PM

The movie, dude. The movie.

Posted by: Figgy at February 10, 2011 2:53 PM

Um.......excuse me........but how do you break your back five times?

Posted by: Pookie at February 10, 2011 2:56 PM

Phat Girl: because everybody knows that FEBRUARY (when everything is OSCARS) is the time when great movies get released. Why, there's...um...well...the new Adam Sandler movie? The one that looks so bad that it's coming out in February.

I mean, I get it. But there's fuck all movies coming out right now, and the only "news" that's happening is that everyone and their mother is being 'rumored' to be in some comic book movie or another.

It's a desert out there. And I, for one, love this column.

Posted by: Figgy at February 10, 2011 2:59 PM

but how do you break your back five times?

Posted by: Pookie at February 10, 2011 2:56 PM

Practice?

Posted by: Kargoyle at February 10, 2011 3:05 PM

Ok, so Kim took the most stupidly generic questions to ask of a paramount of knowledge & wisdom like Elizabeth Taylor and made every single question about her.

"What should I do?"
"What's your advice on how to be a queen?"
"Would you be married to Richard Burton if he was alive?"
"What do you love about Twitter and will you follow me?"

What editor approved this and why waste Taylor's time (she doesn't have too much left) and any readers of their magazine's time with such a pointless/shallow interview?

4th graders would have come up with more inventive questions.

Posted by: TVConnoisseur at February 10, 2011 3:06 PM

Pshh everyone knows William Shakespeare invented Cleopatra to boost quarto sales.

Posted by: Ian at February 10, 2011 3:06 PM

Kim wouldn't make a bad Cleopatra in that both are known primarily for their sexual escapades and she probably looks a lot more like Cleopatra than Liz ever did. That said, Cleopatra was also renown for her cunning while Kim is just renown for her . . . Oh, never mind.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at February 10, 2011 2:19 PM

Cleopatra was I guess was very cunning from what I've read of her, but how does that relate to Kim? I just don’t get what you’re try to say, Tracer.

Posted by: Pookie at February 10, 2011 3:06 PM

@superasente I think perhaps the meaning was the storyline in the Cleopatra wasn't real. It was fictionalized.

@Pookie You break your back five times on eight honeymoons.

Fuck Kim Kardashian and all of her Kardashian kin from the highest mountain top into the deepest depths of hell.

Posted by: MeganTheFirst at February 10, 2011 3:11 PM

And this is why we need to go all murdertank on Hollywood.

Posted by: Aislinn at February 10, 2011 3:13 PM

Fuck Kim Kardashian and all of her Kardashian kin from the highest mountain top into the deepest depths of hell.


Posted by: MeganTheFirst at February 10, 2011 3:11 PM

That's a lot of fucking.

Posted by: Kargoyle at February 10, 2011 3:16 PM

“She suffers from congestive heart failure, has broken her back five times, has had her hips replaced, has survived both a brain tumor operation and skin cancer, has scoliosis, and has almost died from multiple bouts of pneumonia. She has been married 8 times, divorced 7 and widowed once.”

Call me crazy but I'd trade places with Kim before I'd trade places with Taylor.

Posted by: Pookie at February 10, 2011 3:18 PM

So review netflix films or oldies but goodies or red box bombs whatever. I'm not saying the occasional tabloid piece is not entertaining (that's what I go to Dlisted for). But, for f#$%'s sake FIVE days without one review. No offense but I don't come here for the tabloid fodder or celebrity whore bashing. I come here to get away from that crap. I feel bombarded with it all day long on every other site. Oh well this was a great escape while it lasted I guess I've just been spoiled all these years I've been coming here. Times change.

Posted by: Phat girl at February 10, 2011 3:19 PM

However, Liz Taylor's young eyes stun me every time I see them.

Posted by: Phat girl at February 10, 2011 3:31 PM

@superasente I think perhaps the meaning was the storyline in the Cleopatra wasn't real. It was fictionalized.

I get it. I always got it. I was just trying to bust her balls. Using playful obtusity to promote silliness. Anyone?

*sigh* Kermit the Frog was right.

Posted by: superasente at February 10, 2011 3:40 PM

What I will never understand is why on earth Liz agreed to this. She must really not be well.

If Harper's Bazaar had any shred of dignity left, they could have had Angelina Jolie interview Liz. Then at least they could bond -they could talk about Oscars and charity and stealing husbands!

Marie Claire could have followed up with Aniston interviewing Debbie Reynolds.

Why Liz Why?

Posted by: JuiceinLA at February 10, 2011 3:50 PM

In my mind, the interview ended with Liz screaming 'White Diamonds!' and smashing Kim Kardashian in the face with a fire extinguisher. If only real life was like 30 Rock.

Posted by: Jeni at February 10, 2011 3:54 PM

50 points to Jeni!

Posted by: Figgy at February 10, 2011 4:13 PM

what. the fuck.

harper's bazaar...why?

kim kardashian...please jump off of a building into oncoming traffic and leave us all alone. we don't like you.

liz taylor...why did you allow this?!

Posted by: Sinclaire at February 10, 2011 5:16 PM

Kimmie must have been so confused. I almost feel sorry for her.

Posted by: samantha t at February 10, 2011 6:01 PM

Sinclaire-Liz allowed it because she got to plug HIV/AIDS awareness in virtually every question.

I'd talk to a Kardashian meat sack too if it meant promoting awareness about a cause that is personally significant to me.

Posted by: Jennifer at February 10, 2011 6:08 PM

Maybe Ms. Taylor agreed to it because (gasp, shock) she doesn't know who Kim Kardashian is.
Which would make her even cooler, in my opinion.

Maybe it was simply "Harper's Bazaar is having interview you". "Ok, fine" and she assumed was a journalist.

Posted by: Pat C. at February 10, 2011 7:12 PM

Interesting, I never knew the use of meant that what was in between them disappeared.
At the end I had used a generic "Jane Doe" name and had put Jane Doe between those symbols.

Posted by: Pat C. at February 10, 2011 7:15 PM

So, to recap:

Kim Kardashian is rich and famous thanks to her big ass and a sex tape. She'll probably never have to work a day in her life. She gets pulled up on stage by mothereffin' PRINCE at his concert, and now she gets the opportunity to interview a living legend, Elizabeth Taylor, for a fairly well-regarded publication.

Fuck it, I'm done. *puts barrel of gun in mouth*

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at February 10, 2011 10:08 PM

Well, DeistBrawler, at least Elizabeth Taylor was once married to Paris Hilton's mean-drunken great-uncle, not that that means anything about anything...

Posted by: Jerry at February 10, 2011 11:40 PM

The only good thing I (and perhaps anyone) can say about KK is, she's not the ugliest Kardashian sister.

Posted by: , at February 11, 2011 12:43 AM

And the worst thing I (and perhaps anyone) can say about KK is that if not for her big ass and her sex tape, we would never have heard of her OR of her sisters, and we'd all still remember Bruce Jenner as a gold-medal winning decathalete on a Wheaties box.

Posted by: Edith at February 11, 2011 1:06 AM

Oh well this was a great escape while it lasted I guess I've just been spoiled all these years I've been coming here. Times change.

Aww poor Phat girl, Pajiba isn't doing exactly what you demand of them. I feel for you girl. Hey, maybe you could start your OWN movie review site - Phatiba!

Geesh Figgy was right, this place is full of wankers and whiners lately. I feel all out of place what with my scathing bitchiness.

Posted by: Kelly at February 11, 2011 1:25 AM

Edith,

Y'know, at least Kim did the hard work and heavy lifting of going out and getting pissed on by a third-rate rapper while the camera rolled to earn her fame and money. What did the other two ever do? Khloe and Kourtney owe their fortune to accidents of birth (take that every way you can). They are famous for being the sisters of a girl with a big ass who got pissed on by a third-rate rapper while the camera rolled.

To bring it back to the Simpson trial, they are Kato Kaelin to Kim's O.J.

Posted by: , at February 11, 2011 1:33 AM

I'll scathe your bitchiness Kelly. Oh wait, you said scathing bitchiness not puns that don't even make any fucking sense. My bad.

Posted by: Ender at February 11, 2011 11:55 AM

Wow. Hell apparently DOES exist. And I'm in it.

Posted by: Marvelous Mousey at February 11, 2011 1:57 PM