Garth Brooks Invites You to Have a Conversation In His Rape Van ... er, On His Facebook Page
Look, I like Garth Brooks. I respect that he refused to let his albums on Spotify long before Taylor Swift, even though Spotify would’ve been the quickest way to connect to a new generation of listeners. I know he’s not on Spotify because every once in a while, I get hit by a wave of nostalgia and try to track down “Thunder Rolls” or “Friends in Low Places,” and Spotify leaves me with nothing but bad karaoke tracks.
But the guy disappeared for a decade or more (for good, honest, family reasons!) and now he’s touring again, and that means he’s trying to ingratiate himself into the social-media generation, which means going to Facebook and making videos, which means watching an earnest, overly-kind, almost too-sweet 80’s country singer trying to appear relatable to millennials.
The result? It’s a catastrophe. It’s a cringeworthy, heart-seizing 46-second catastrophe, or what I suspect James Franco’s late-night Facetime chats with the 19-year-olds that he’s trying to pick up might sound like.
This comes from a place of love, Garth, but please, NEVER DO THAT AGAIN.
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