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Famke Janssen Broke Into Her Own House...or Did She?

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrities Are Better than You | September 20, 2013 | Comments ()


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So, remember that thing a few weeks back, right around the time The Conjuring came out, where Famke Janssen had a break-in, wherein said breaker-inners stole nothing, instead leaving a creepy book called The Lonely Doll on her bed, and it was the scariest thing you’ve ever heard?

Well, some of you called it. Police believe that Famke did it herself.

According to the NYPD, via Page Six, the book actually belonged to Janssen, and there were notes inside that she may have written herself. Also, every person visible on the security camera is accounted for.

Janssen has never seemed the attention-seeking type. Rarely papped, buds with Jon Favreau, by all accounts a cool, normal chick.

So…

There can really only be two options: illness, or ghosts.

If she did it herself, that’s a pretty unwell thing to do. It would stand to reason there might be something wrong here. And maybe not even as far as an actual mental illness. It could have been some kind of break or weird medication interaction. It’s happened to me. My anxiety meds got upped temporarily and I spent a friend’s wedding talking about rich people and ghosts then I passed out on the ground. It was weird, but it happens.

Of course, mental illness is not out of the question. Lots of people have them, and there’s nothing wrong with that. People who keep themselves totally together most of the time can sometimes experience a wave where sickness rears its ugly head and things get funky.

Or, you know, ghosts.

LOOK. I’m a highly skeptical person. But, when I read this story, all I could think was “that’s totally what the ghosts WANT the police to think.” I mean, a ghost isn’t going to show up on the security cam. It doesn’t have to show signs of forced entry. Because it’s a ghost. It does what it wants.

What I’m saying is, ghosts. It’s ghosts.

…It’s ghosts, or in the end we find out she’s her own evil twin, like in that R.L. Stine book Twisted. ONE OF THOSE TWO.

If she did do it herself, then that sucks, that’s sad. I’m just saying, WHAT IF GHOSTS. Think about it. At night. In the dark. When the AC kicks on. You’ll come around to my way of thinking.




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • VohaulsRevenge
  • Courtney, the next time some know-it-all EVER questions the purpose of your posts or any celebrity news item on this site, you link them to this piece. That should end all doubts as to its importance.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    I'm the only person NOT on psychotropic meds, aren't I?

  • bastich

    I considered using them once, but I was outvoted by the other voices in my head.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    How do you know?

  • F'mal DeHyde

    It was a rhetorical question. Notice the question mark at the end of the sentence?

  • BlackRabbit

    How do you know there's one there? OooOoOoOo

  • desi

    must be the botox, must have come into her head.

  • crispin

    Ever try ghost meat? It's delicious!

  • Misomaniac

    Nah. It passes right through me.

  • nosio

    From the NY Post article:

    "Cops also found no signs of forced entry in the home or from the penthouse roof – and no fingerprints on the book, sources said."

    NO FINGERPRINTS. IT WAS TOTALLY GHOSTS.

  • TCH

    Better call the Ghost Ghirls. Or the ghost busters.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Ghost Facers. Clearly.

  • Derreck

    I'm going to go with ghosts because i love Xenia Onatopp/Jean Grey/Ava Moore WAY too much to even consider that Famke might've pulled a publicity stunt.

  • Idle Primate

    Any publicity is good publicity if your star is fading and crazy or weird trumps DUI

  • foolsage

    There's a simpler explanation. The Dark Phoenix is trying to get out, and is slowly taking control of Famke's unconscious mind. Soon she'll pop out in the middle of the night to devour solar systems, and then things will spiral out of control.

    Well, that's a simpler explanation from a certain point of view, anyhow. ;)

  • DeaconG

    At least until she finds a Scott Summers look-alike, then she'll stay home and give birth to all manner of mutant children that will completely upset the timeline. You'll know when Cable suddenly pops up and Rachel goes nutso...

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Will you marry me?

  • calliope1975

    I've lived with a ghost for decades now. It follows me from home to home. It has a thing for my earrings. I'm cool with it.

  • L.O.V.E.

    -- "Also, every person visible on the security camera is accounted for."

    Did they check the kitchen? Maybe the ghost was hiding in the cupboard, totally in plain sight.

  • Misomaniac

    Ghosts don't show up on video cameras. Haven't you see any of those ghost hunting shows. They keep running into ghosts ALL THE TIME and nothing on the cameras.

  • chandler02

    Or a third and most likely option: BOOK WAS MOVED BY HOUSEKEEPER / NANNY / ASSISTANT. Celebs usually have multiple employees that have access to their homes.

  • NOPE, GHOSTS.

  • Mrcreosote

    GHOST ASSISTANT!!!!
    Coming from Miramax, Spring 2015

  • bastich

    No possibility that it was an alien clone? Or an android replica? Or a Famke Janssen impersonator gone made with erotic obsession?

    We must think logically about this.

  • Shit. It's Phoenix.

  • mograph

    River Phoenix?

  • Lisa Bee

    A couple weeks ago my mom had a friend over who brought another old woman "friend" of hers. This woman was a psychic and proceeded to tell us that there was the presence of a man who drowned the lake behind our house standing over our shoulders, and a white dog running around our property that had died years earlier. And so, a large box of table salt was quickly stashed in my room... you know... just in case.

    I'll get this woman on the scene. Maybe she'll be able to spot that badboy.
    In the meantime, someone call the Winchesters: 1-800-PLAID4EVA

  • emmalita

    According to my niece and nephew there is a ghost in our house too. This ghost leaves banana peels on the couch and toys all over the place.

  • Y'know, I bet that's the same damn ghost that leaves Legos (tm) all over our playroom floor.

  • BendinIntheWind

    I am so, SO happy for the RL Stine shoutout. "Goosebumps" popped up on my Netflix the other day as a new addition and I immediately added it to my queue, eagerly awaiting my next sick day to binge on it.

  • webelos8

    My 7-year-old has already binged the episodes. She LOVES the spooky stuff.

  • apsutter

    My bf and I have been watching the shit out of Goosebumps on Netflix and I've been loving it so much.

  • Drake

    …It’s ghosts, or in the end we find out she’s her own evil twin, like in that R.L. Stine book Twisted.

    Umm.... Spoilers much!

  • WhoDeyKY

    my childhood was basically a bunch of years of waiting for the next Scholastic Book Order to come in so I could read the latest Goosebumps books. Good times.

  • DehydrationStation

    Some movie studio or music empire really needs to hire me. I can spot crazy like nobody's business. Having a guy like me on the payroll could potentially save them the fortune of lost revenue when their ingénue-du-jour shaves her head or breaks into her own house.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    So, you're like a medium for living people?

  • DehydrationStation

    More like the Britney Whisperer.

  • TK

    Well, I just fucking geyser'd out a mouthful of tea, you fuck.

  • emmalita

    Ghosts are terrible people, what with their moving things around and giving psychics the wrong information.

  • bastich

    They prefer to be called "Ectoplasmic Americans".

  • llp

    Are they like Fabricated Americans, still waiting for their tartar sauce and sprinkles?

  • Berry

    That's typical American arrogance. You think the rest of the world has no ghosts? Huh? You think the spectral manifestations simply stop once you cross the borders into Not-America? You think that, don't you?

  • bastich

    I simply wish to celebrate both where the ghosts come from and their bright future as Americans.

    As someone who is sixteenth-part ghost, I feel that I need to defend the rights of my spiritual forebearers.

    After all, don't we all have a little spirit in us?

  • BlackRabbit

    I'm just sick of their religious zealotry. A groundbreaking and honest film starring Dan Akroyd and Bill Murray tells the truth of these matters. Some liberals may call it intolerant, but I say that "bustin" these ecto-terrorists is every real American's right and duty.

  • I dunno 'bout none of that, but 'bustin makes me feel good...

  • BlackRabbit

    Not to mention stealing the fine American tradition of scaring people while running around in white sheets. Who do they think they are?

  • emmalita

    How dare they? They don't pay taxes after that one time right after they die. And what about all those foreign people coming into the country just so they can die and call themselves "Ectoplasmic Americans." They should just be grateful we no longer call them 'spooks.'

  • bastich

    Honestly, I find your bigotry disappointing. These are hard-working folks who just need to be given a leg up (or a leg, period). All they need are some government-sponsored training so that they can have the job skills to get them working toward a better life (as it were).

    Seriously, they do the jobs that nobody wants. Do you know the hardships involved in trying to talk to little girls through TVs, or making hotel walls bleed? These folks are doing our nation a service, and we should give them what help that we can.

  • Mrcreosote

    Hey, as long as we can all agree that the ghost all need to own guns.

  • emmalita

    No, no, no. You can't judge an entire group based on an exceptional few. For every chair-stacking wall bleeding go-getter, there are a thousand that do nothing more than float around, taking up space, and expecting live, tax paying Americans to clean up their messes. The Discovery Channel and other networks continuously strive to give these lazy specters honest employment, but they never show up when the cameras are on.

  • GDI

    But the same logic can be applied to those "lazy specters". Recent surveys indicate that unemployment and absenteeism from work are at record lows.

    Sure, you may not be able to see them.

    To compound this issue, some of them don't have the ectoplasmic strength to move objects from their realm. They simply don't have that strong of a presence.Personally, I find that an unfair basis to judge this group of hardworking post-Americans.

    If I didn't know better, I'd say that you were pushing some sort of ableist agenda.

  • emmalita

    Well if you're going to start throwing around words I don't know and use things like surveys, I'm going to have to go all Fox on your ass and start suggesting you might be a socialist. We will be looking into your known and unknown associates and wildly leaping to conclusions. You have been warned.

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