Chrissy Teigen Went to Dinner and People Had Emotions about It Because Mothers Aren't Allowed to Eat

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | April 25, 2016 | Comments ()

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | April 25, 2016 |


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There is a very specific certain thing that happens when a person becomes pregnant and eventually births and raises a child: you learn that everyone is goddamn garbage.

Chrissy Teigen has gotten to learn this quite publicly. See, first, she was pregnant. People had emotions about the size of her baby oven.

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Then they had emotions about her cereal, because of dye and sugars AND GMOS PROBABLY.

Then she actually had the baby and after nine months of hard time and giving birth and all that, she and her husband John Legend went to dinner. LIKE A COUPLE OF FUCKING MONSTERS.

And this is her life now. Because it is the ultimate sacrifice of having children. Not actually raising the kids themselves, but dealing with OTHER FUCKING PEOPLE.

If I have taught you anything over the years, ANYTHING, just leave pregnant women and mothers alone about anything related to pregnancy or mothering. Don’t you do it. Don’t you think about it. Don’t try it. Is she eating cold cuts? DON’T SAY A FUCKING WORD. Is she drinking coffee? DON’T SAY A FUCKING WORD. Is she on her phone while her kids play? DON’T SAY A FUCKING WORD.

JUST DON’T. DON’T YOU DO IT.


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