web
counter

serial podcast / the walking dead / snl / mindhole blowers / netflix / celebrity facts / marvel


Chris Brown is This Generation's Martin Luther King, Jr. and Jesus, Says Man Who Urinates on Children

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrities Are Better than You | December 10, 2013 | Comments ()


chris-brown-puppy.jpg

In a truly fascinating interview, R. Kelly tells The Guardian…lots of things. But the one picking up the most traction is his comparing Chris Brown to Muhammed Ali, Martin Luther King and Jesus. Take it away, Man Hose:

“I only feel sorry for weak people. And mostly what I’ve come to find is that the weak people are the ones that are the haters. The ones that’s talking about Chris Brown, or R Kelly, or anybody that’s successful? I feel sorry for them, not Chris Brown, because he’s obviously one strong individual to be able to do what he’s done. He got knocked down a little bit and he climbed up. You know, that sounds like Ali to me. That sounds like Martin Luther King to me. That sounds like a lot of the greats that have walked this earth. It even sounds a little bit like Jesus to me.”

Plucking my eyes out of my skull lest they roll out, hitting the floor like marbles or a particularly sexy piss stream, let’s say Chris Brown is forgiven, has served his time, been contrite and made a concerted effort to change. None of those things are true, but let’s say them anyway. Even if you’re firmly Team Breezy, is the leap to “he’s a lot like Dr. King” really one you’re comfortable making? That’s…that’s a jump.


The New 'Godzilla' Trailer Is Astonishingly, Bed-Wettingly Terrifying | The Moment 'Scandal' Transformed From Guilty Pleasure Into a Hate Watch


Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Zirza

    I don't know, man, that pitbull puppy is pretty convincing evidence.

  • googergieger

    Yeah...

    Being better than people, rocks.

  • The Mama

    I don't think this is any worse than Kanye West's most recent interview, during which he said something to the effect of he puts his life on the line every day - just like police officers, firefighters, and "guys who go to war" - because he climbs a plastic mountain on stage and "could (fall off and) die at any time".

    One doesn't dislike R. Kelly and Chris Brown or even Kanye West because one is weak. One dislikes them because they're douchebags.

  • John G.

    Has anyone seen that puppy since this picture was taken?

  • THANK YOU. My only thought when I saw that photo was "Does PETA have any kind of Amber Alert system?"

    Okay, that's a lie I also thought, "Pffft... toolbag."

  • Uriah_Creep

    I wouldn't worry about the dog. Abusers like this usually love animals and feel empathy towards them while being blind to human suffering. I'm betting the dog leads a fantastic life.

  • Aaron Schulz

    that dog almost certainly has a higher standing then rhianna to him, and thats not a joke, its really common, well common among abusive monsters

  • JJ

    Taking a look at the man's work, including his newest album Black Panties which features such tracks as "Marry the P*ssy" and "Show Ya P*ssy," he's a helluva singer, but did we think anything R. Kelly said made any sense in the first place?

  • John G.

    yeah, sure, and Justin Bieber is a lot like Gandhi

  • Anthony Hoffman

    Saw him (Robert Kelly) on Kimmel rambling some nonsense. He had no idea Kimmel and audience were laughing at him, not with. As was I.

  • Maguita NYC

    That's the problem, how oblivious he seems to not only his surroundings, but reality as well.

    If R. Kelly is defending Chris Brown it isn't to be taken seriously to be honest: They've both lacked sincerity and have not followed through in their attempts at redemption.

    It still however irritates me when abusers compare themselves to great men, when they've not accomplished anything of note, especially anything that has changed or impacted society for the better.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Hee-Hee. You said "pisses". Hee.

  • Maguita NYC

    Oh, did not see that one. It kind of changes the tone at how angry R. Kelly's words made me. Fixed it, thks!

  • lowercase_ryan

    This is shamefully ignorant. Equating commercial success with the personal integrity necessary to be one of the truly great men that he's comparing Chris too is beyond moronic. It's embarrassing. And yet kids will read that on Twitter and suck it up like a sponge. Next thing you know they are idolizing someone who's defining trait is selfishness. Can Chris Brown even grasp the concept of selflessness?

    It depresses me to think that Chuck D and KRS-1 never got a fraction of the commercial success that these two shitbirds have gotten.

    FUCK YOU SYSTEM!

  • JJ

    Yeah! Damn the Man for not embracing Public Enemy!

  • lowercase_ryan

    ok I get the contradiction

  • emmalita

    I'm just glad that Chris Brown and R. Kelly are in the subset of people I can ignore.

  • If only the JFK magic bullet had been the one that was intedned for Dr King. That way it could've travelled forward in time and hit this bellend in the arse cheek.

  • NoPantsMcLane

    I don't know why either of these two still has careers.

  • MauraFoley

    Hey editors, I'm not sure where to submit this criticism, so here goes. The facebook/twitter email thing is set up funny in chrome. It covers the text of the article i'm trying to read, as well as headlines on the front page.

  • Ted Zancha

    I'm getting that on Firefox too.

  • MauraFoley

    Hey broseph, if you zoom out it helps the issue. It makes the text a bit smaller than I'd like, but it also make the website readable again!

  • Ted Zancha

    Thanks for the heads up!

  • Mrs. Julien

    If Chris Brown wants to turn the other cheek so I can slap him again, I am on board with the Jesus association.

    On the other hand, since finding out about Brown's childhood trauma, I am much more sympathetic towards him. I no longer think he's not just an a-hole who needs therapy, but rather a sadly messed up a-hole who needs therapy. Of course, his conduct has indicated he was a messed up a-hole the entire time just without specifics, didn't it? I guess the consistent theme is that he needs therapy.

  • Kelly actually talks -- proudly so -- about the same kind of experiences, at the same young age even. I opted not to include it because I didn't want to seem like I was diminishing it by including it with this other fuckery, like I did last time (not my intention then either) but is this a common thing? People engaging in sex as children with older people and thinking it's not only OK, but something to brag about? Is there damage when they don't realize it's damaging? How does one begin to recover from something they're purportedly happy about?

  • Mrs. Julien

    I am not well-informed on this subject, but I find it hard to believe that making that transition (for want of a better term) before puberty wouldn't damaging on some level. Does it come back to notions of empowerment and victimization and how the person in question labels it in order to cope? I would assume being "happy" about it is a coping mechanism. Both RKelly and Chris Brown do seem pretty messed up to me. RKelly is an ephebophile (sp?) and Chris Brown has unmanaged anger issues.

  • Bea Pants

    It does seem to be a a more common line of thinking when a boy is the victim and a woman is the predator. Girls are raped and boys are "lucky."

  • Maguita NYC

    You are right, not long ago men bragged about losing their virginity at an early age. Wasn't there an interview where Bruce Willis brags about losing his around 9 years old?

    Today, that is considered abuse no matter the gender. But just over a decade ago, it was bragging material for men.

  • stella

    Did mr kelly refer to himself in the thord person? Huh.

  • blorft

    If you ever stumble across the DVD collection of Trapped in the Closet, you will be surprised an delighted by his commentary bonus material, during which R. Kelly talks about R. Kelly in the third person the entire time and makes liberal use of the word cliffhanger. It will also become clear that Trapped in the Closet is an incredibly earnest artistic endeavor from his perspective.

  • stella

    That all sounds really confusing.

  • blorft

    It really uh... explains some things about the way he sees the world.

  • Wrestling Fan

    This is my favorite headline of the year

  • zyzzyva

    Is it in my poor taste or R Kelly's poor choice of words to point out that it was Rhianna that was in fact "knocked down"...?

  • Mrs. Julien

    I imagine Kelly's thinking is "Hey man, you weren't there. You don't know how she gets."

  • Bea Pants

    I thought the same thing but I'm not exactly a beacon of good taste.

  • My thoughts exactly.

    Uh...R...it was Rihanna that got knocked down a bit...actually, quite a lot.

    I don't get it.

  • Yocean

    Go back to your closet R. Kelly, you are drunk...or to put it in pun, pissed.

  • Kim Voeks

    Oh, the stupid! It burns!

  • TaireSampson

    Best article title I've ever read.

  • Paddington

    Chris Brown didn't owe you contrition since you weren't his victim. R. Kelly is a predator so game recognize game, I suppose. Probably should stop asking people questions just because they sing good.

blog comments powered by Disqus