Anna Kendrick Will Now Dazzle Us in a Different Medium

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | April 16, 2015 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | April 16, 2015 |


True story: Three years ago, I saw Anna Kendrick at one of the two local bars I frequent. She was sitting with friends, and no one approached her, bothered her, or paid her the slightest heed. At the time, I assumed that I was just the only guy in the entire place who knew who she was. I did a triple take, looked around the bar, and wondered, “Why aren’t people crowding around asking her for her autograph?”

But then last week, she visited the other bar I frequent on the night I would usually be there, but my wife was out of town, and for some stupid reason, there’s a dumb law that says you can’t leave your children home alone while you go out drinking. THIS IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL. But my friends were there, and they reported back that — again — no one approached her, bothered her, or paid her any heed, although at this point, several people in the bar must have known who she was (at least my friends did, but they didn’t want to bother her, though she was sitting three feet away.)

That’s probably why she likes to go to bars in Maine. Because no one cares. I bring this up for no other reason than to humblebrag, and to introduce the announcement that Ms. Kendrick has signed a book deal, in which she will write a series of essays about her middle-class upbringing in New England (or Portland, Maine, to be exact) and her career in Hollywood. She will approach these essays with the same tantalizing wit that she applies to her Twitter account, which spits out at least one gem a week, like this:

Or this:

Or this:

In announcing her book deal, Kendrick released a statement that captures the spirit of what you might expect from the book:

“I’m excited to publish my first book, and because I get uncomfortable when people have high expectations, I’d like to use this opportunity to showcase my ineptitude, pettiness, and the frequency with which I embarrass myself,” Kendrick said in a news release. “And while many of my female inspirations who have become authors are incredibly well-educated and accomplished comedy writers, I’m very, very funny on Twitter, according to Buzzfeed and my mom, so I feel like this is a great idea. Quick question: are run-on sentences still frowned upon? Wait, is ending a sentence with a preposition still frowned upon? I mean, upon frowned? Dammit!”

That woman is goddamn dynamite, and if you ever see her in a bar, leave her alone.

Source: USA Today


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