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Angelina Jolie Filed for Divorce from Brad Pitt--Holy Sh*t

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | September 20, 2016 | Comments ()

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | September 20, 2016 |


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What?!

She’s asking for physical custody of the couple’s 6 children. She is asking the judge to give Pitt visitation. It’s significant … she does not want Brad to have joint physical custody … only joint legal custody.

WHAT?!

Sources connected with the couple tell us … Angelina’s decision to file has to do with the way Brad was parenting the children … she was extremely upset with his methods.

Our sources say, Angelina became “fed up” with Brad’s consumption of weed and possibly alcohol, and mixed with what she believes is “an anger problem” … felt it became dangerous for the children.

We’re told there was no alleged “third person” … her decision to file was solely over Brad’s interaction with their children.

Jolie, who’s being repped by disso queen Laura Wasser, is not asking for spousal support.
Jolie lists the date of separation as Sept. 15, 2016.

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Y’all. I need a sitdown for this one.

Um. While I process, I guess congratulations to everyone’s mom.

OK. Alright. Huh. OK. So. Huh. K. Brad and Angelina have six children. They’ve been together 12 years. That’s a lot of years and a lot of small humans. I don’t know where this story is going to go but I’m going to assume a lot of tabloid covers are going to have a LOT of pictures of Angie looking skinny.

The reason for this split, if TMZ is accurate, is FASCINATING. Possibly horrifying. Oh my god. 2016: the year we find out everyone is TERRIBLE.

WE ARE GOING TO NEED SUPPLIES TO GET THROUGH THIS:

- Bottled water

- Batteries

- Copies of Mr. & Mrs. Smith and that sad ocean movie they did last year to watch closely for changes in behavior like they’re goddamn Zapruder films

- Earplugs to ignore relatives’ and colleagues’ comments about the ethnic backgrounds of their children

- Raw nuts—we’re going to need protein

- Booze. All of it.

UPDATED: TMZ added to their story.

Our sources say, Angelina became “fed up” with Brad’s consumption of weed and possibly alcohol, and mixed with what she believes is “an anger problem” … felt it became dangerous for the children.

In standard tabloids “weed and possibly alcohol” means meth, angeldust and sucking on ‘57 Buick tailpipes. TMZ might be pulling a tabloid move to keep Pitt happy. Or he’s just a terrible stoner.

UPDATE 2: Speaking of weed, THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT RIGHT HERE. Just read LaineyGossip’s coverage. Take it all in. For starters, despite rumors, Marion Cotillard had nothing to do with this. Also, Angie has the same lawyer as Johnny Depp did in his divorce, meaning all TMZ coverage is going to be ANGIE APPROVED. Whew. I need a cigarette.

I mean, look, this is very sad for the children.

But. I mean. LOOK, YOU’RE ON THE INTERNET TOO.



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