An Open Letter to Chris Evans About His State of Near Pefection
We already love you. You’re pretty, with a shirt…
Looks like you eat healthily,
And stay in shape…
You seem to like babies,
AND, you’re quick with an arm so a golden girl can nab her award?
From what we can tell, you’re nearly perfect; how could we possibly love you more?
Nowwaitjustaminute…SAY WHAT? You SING, too? (Evans singing back-up for his brother Scott, over Memorial Day weekend):
Dead, we are. Dead, because it’s all…
We thank you for sharing your many talents, and please never stop being you.
Sincerely, and easily able to attain an annulment,
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