web
counter
 

5 Celebrity Facts That Will Blow Your Mindhole

By Courtney Enlow | Posted Under Celebrities Are Better than You | Comments (45)



teenage mutant ninja turtles cartoon.gif

Sometimes, celebrities really are better than you.

While scanning TMZ for something to get incensed about for today’s column, I came across a little tidbit that made me question the very fabric of this reality. I shan’t spoil. I’m saving it for number one. But it made me wonder what other Fascination Streets exist for us to go down, because if creating an entire post out of the desperate need to post a one sentence fact is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

jack-nicholson-20070409-237303.jpg

5. Jack Nicholson, Eric Clapton and Bobby Darrin all had mother issues

Jack Nicholson, Eric Clapton and Bobby Darrin each had assuredly traumatic “she’s my mother *slap* she’s my sister” moments. Each had to discover the woman who raised each was not his mother, but his grandmother, and the woman he believed to be his sister was actually his biological mother.

Steve-Guttenberg-1.jpg

4. Steve Guttenberg - Outstanding at turning down amazing roles

Steve Guttenberg turned down two of the most iconic film roles of the ’80s, possibly of all time: Josh in Big and Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters. He turned down the latter to star in Police Academy.

lowedeaf.jpg

3. Demi Moore is half blind; Rob Lowe is half deaf

It’s exactly how it sounds. Demi is blind in one eye and Rob Lowe is deaf in one ear.

PennJillettejillj.jpg

2. Penn Jillette wants to get you off

Penn Jillette, lover of debunking and titties, invented a hot tub with special jets designed to get women off. It’s called the Jill-Jet.

021511-tv-sheen-v2-still.jpg

1. Chuck Lorre wrote one of the greatest cartoon theme songs of all time

When you think of Chuck Lorre, it’s generally to wish him ill, a pox upon his house. But what you should be thinking of is this:

So next time you find yourself generally enraged by the very existence of Two and a Half Men, remember his sizable mark on the world’s most fearsome fighting team.

Follow Courtney Enlow on Twitter or email her here.









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance



Garfunkel and Oates Get Douched | Garfunkel and Oates Get Douched









Comments

invented a hot tub with special jets designed to get women off.

...I don't think that really needed special jets. The regular kind work just fine.

So I hear.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at February 17, 2011 2:05 PM

I knew about the Gillette jet thing because I used to listen to his radio show when picking up my kids from school. I think it's his wife who holds the patent.

I know way too much about this issue. None of my knowledge is first-hand, sadly.

Posted by: klingonfree at February 17, 2011 2:08 PM

Well...how does that hot tub do me any fucking good?

Posted by: DeistBrawler at February 17, 2011 2:12 PM

No idea why my last comment is in italics. Maybe because it's about a girly issue. Or maybe it's the prevalent influence of the insanely annoying Victoria's Secret banner ad at the top of the page that KEEPS EXPANDING and I cannot stop it!

Posted by: klingonfree at February 17, 2011 2:13 PM

That is some damn fine trivia, Courtney. Thanks!

Posted by: DarthCorleone at February 17, 2011 2:15 PM

Someone forgot to close the italics. Perhaps on the "Follow Courtney on Twitter or email her here" bit?

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at February 17, 2011 2:16 PM

It doesn't. It's job is to do me fucking good.

Posted by: jM at February 17, 2011 2:17 PM

"Each had to discover the woman who raised each was not his mother, but his grandmother, and the woman he believed to be his sister was actually his biological mother."

Yup. I grew up in country where there were no condoms (prior to 1985), other birth control only available through a physician upon proof of married status, and absolutely no abortion. Pretty much anyone who had a 16+ year gap between them and their next female sibling knew that mammy was really granny

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 17, 2011 2:17 PM

Posted by: deuce at February 17, 2011 2:19 PM

Isn't John Lennon part of that Nicholson/Clapton/Darrin club?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 17, 2011 2:19 PM

If you're gonna blow my mind hole you better buy me a damn drink first

Posted by: Nadine at February 17, 2011 2:19 PM

Isn't the hot tub full of hot water?

Didn't know women wanted to get full of scaldingness down there.

/The More You Know

Posted by: Fredo at February 17, 2011 2:32 PM

I'm in the same boat as Nicholson and the rest. Though I didn't know my birth mother until I was about 20 so I never thought she was my sister. The people I call my sisters and brothers are biologically my aunts and uncles though. I have a few biological siblings too that I didn't meet until I met my real mother.

Posted by: Paultera at February 17, 2011 2:32 PM

Speaking of TMNT did you know that Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was the voice of Shredder? True Story.

Posted by: staceygarrett at February 17, 2011 2:52 PM

Steve Guttenberg turned down... Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters.

Dear Mr. Guttenberg,

Thank you.

Signed,
Everyone in the world

Posted by: Todd at February 17, 2011 3:03 PM

Wikipedia says no, but sordid nonetheless on the John Lennon front.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 17, 2011 3:03 PM

WHAT is with that pic of Guttenberg and his shiny, silver moose knuckle?!

CANNOT UNSEE!

Posted by: trib at February 17, 2011 3:05 PM

I love Chuck Lorre. A lot. I hate Two and a Half Men, but I like Big Bang Theory and liked Dharma & Greg (oh, fuck you all), but what I really love are his vanity cards at the end of each episode. They can be poetic, philosophical, insightful, informative, or just a downright middle finger to the network for making him tone down, change, or bland up his shows.

I suppose since you're all blind Lorre-haters, none of you read this? You may have a little more respect for the man, given that these are at the ends of each one of his shows every week. Seriously, he's saying this about the biggest star on his most popular show ever.

http://chucklorre.com/index.php?p=329

Posted by: puppetDoug at February 17, 2011 3:12 PM

Oh, I'm also pretty damn sure this one's about Sheen, too.

http://chucklorre.com/index.php?p=330

Posted by: puppetDoug at February 17, 2011 3:14 PM

Didn't know women wanted to get full of scaldingness down there.

Well, the temperature *is* adjustable, you know. Shower temp is DELIGHTFUL, not scalding. Plus, once you've been in for a while, you get used to it.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at February 17, 2011 3:34 PM

That shiny moose-knuckle makes me feel weird too. A bit excited, and a bit disgusted.

I'll see myself out.

Posted by: Drake at February 17, 2011 3:39 PM

Y'know, for mainstream T.V., Lorre always feels like he's constantly prodding the boundaries of good taste. Again, I state, FOR MAINSTREAM T.V. But when was the last time you heard a line like "The only difference is that you came out of one them and you-"

And I defy anyone to read the vanity cards at the end of each episode and tell me that that man is not a true Pajiban.

http://www.chucklorre.com

Posted by: elzupasmonkey at February 17, 2011 3:39 PM

Eh. Chuck Lorre may have a decent sense of humor about his place in the world, but his products are trite, generic, hackneyed garbage.

Posted by: RobP at February 17, 2011 3:53 PM

Considering Penn Jillette's wife has to stare at Penn Jillette's face most of the time she's trying to get off I can understand why she would hold the patent for an orgasm hot tub.

Uncle Phil was Shredder? That man practically raised me considering all the time we spent together. I'm sad that I have to admit I like something Chuck Lorre created. It's no Ducktales theme. It's not even a Gummi Bears theme and it certainly can't touch the opening of Gargoyles but I do love that song.

Posted by: becks at February 17, 2011 4:45 PM

Mmm, young Rob Lowe. He wouldn't even have to buy me a drink first.

Posted by: llp at February 17, 2011 4:45 PM

"Charlie coke and hookers! CHARLIE POWER"

Posted by: Ian at February 17, 2011 4:55 PM

llp: "Mmm, young Rob Lowe. He wouldn't even have to buy me a drink first."

Rob Lowe: "What?"

Posted by: BWeaves at February 17, 2011 5:03 PM

" Demi Moore is half blind; Rob Lowe is half deaf"

About last night could have been so much better if they had worked these physicalities into the scrip

"EH? Wha'd you say?" Never heard of her. You say she's only got one good eye?

Or should I say one good EYE.....

yes I have had too much coffee, no I don't think I am nearly as funny as I want to be.

Posted by: juiceinla at February 17, 2011 6:17 PM

llp: "Mmm, young Rob Lowe. He wouldn't even have to buy me a drink first."

Rob Lowe: "What?"

llp: "I SAID, YOU DOn't...oh."

Posted by: llp at February 17, 2011 7:34 PM

It's no Ducktales theme. It's not even a Gummi Bears theme and it certainly can't touch the opening of Gargoyles but I do love that song.
Posted by: becks at February 17, 2011 4:45 PM

My brain radio hates you right now.

Posted by: grace b at February 17, 2011 7:41 PM

..it certainly can't touch the opening of Gargoyles but I do love that song.
Posted by: becks at February 17, 2011 4:45 PM

Let's be fair: that opening had Keith David doing a Hamlet-esque monologue about betrayal, death and resurrection while a redhead in a loincloth blew shit up with a bazooka, and it still worked. It wins at everything.

Posted by: ScienceGeek at February 17, 2011 10:34 PM

I'm still shocked when I think that Clancy Brown (bad guy in Highlander, Pet Sematary 2, and about a million other movies) is the voice of Mr. Crabs.

Posted by: Mebe at February 17, 2011 10:47 PM

Oh hell, now how am I supposed to get the Duck Tales song out of my head, becks? Shit!

Posted by: GeekChic at February 17, 2011 10:50 PM

On an unrelated note: ScienceGeek, I nearly used that as my handle on Pajiba. Nerdy science minds think alike!

Posted by: GeekChic at February 17, 2011 10:52 PM

WHAT is with that pic of Guttenberg and his shiny, silver moose knuckle?!

CANNOT UNSEE!

Posted by: trib at February 17, 2011 3:05 PM

-------

EXACTLY what I wanted to say. You really shouldn't post pictures like that until the end of the post to ensure that the readers actually get to the end of the post, instead of their faces doing a Raiders of the Lost Ark Nazi-melt-face.

Posted by: zeke the pig at February 18, 2011 4:31 AM

Now there's an earworm I didn't need today. Thanks for that.

Posted by: cinekat at February 18, 2011 5:35 AM

Life is like a hurricane...here in Duckberg.

Posted by: becks at February 18, 2011 7:19 AM

Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes - it's a Duck blur!

Posted by: Nobody's Little Weasel at February 18, 2011 10:16 AM

Heck Guttenberg isn't even close to James Caan for dumb. Caan turned down "one flew over the cuckoos nest" and "Kramer vs Kramer".

Posted by: logan at February 18, 2011 11:38 AM

I will never forgive you for that photo of Guttenburg.

Just
So
Wrong

Posted by: IneptFake at February 18, 2011 11:41 AM

watching My Little Ponies when one of them talks like Bart Simpson is pretty weird...

Posted by: JoJo at February 18, 2011 8:58 PM

here's Chuck Lorre talking about the TMNT themesong...
http://chucklorre.com/index.php?p=165

Posted by: JoJo at February 18, 2011 9:07 PM

Wow...misspelling Darin. Twice.

Posted by: OhComeNow at February 19, 2011 12:18 AM

Nothing beats the Gargoyles theme. I also can only hold dear to my heart what introduced me to Keith David's immortal voice. It's perhaps the best earworm theme song, only bested by Doctor Who (any Doctor, but notably 10th and 11th).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygrEVnrg3Ic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrHTlKqmNUM

Posted by: duckandcover at February 19, 2011 12:55 AM

And now I have the Ducktales theme in my head. Do I have to pull out the Sea Ponies' song from My Little Pony to punish all of you?

Posted by: Rowen at February 21, 2011 11:58 AM