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Seriously, What's Happening Here?

By Agent Bedhead | Posted Under Career Assessments | Comments (25)



wahlberg25sm.jpg

Subject: Mark Wahlberg, 39-year old American actor, producer, and former bad-boy rapper

Date of Assessment: December 10, 2010

Positive Buzzwords: Ensemble, directors, rawness

Negative Buzzwords: Wooden, lead roles, Marky Mark

The Case: For awhile there (up until the past few years, actually), it appeared as if Mark Wahlberg had proved ‘em all wrong. During his very early showbiz career, he was forced to endure the title of Least-Known Wahlberg Brother, and many in the (now virtually shuttered) music business presumed that Marky Mark had made a fatal career move by ditching his pre-fame position within New Kids On The Block. Yet following a very brief rapping career, Mark Wahlberg really hit the big time by showing off his Calvins. Shortly thereafter, Mark made a surprisingly impressive acting splash alongside Leonardo DiCaprio in Basketball Diaries, not to mention his portrayal of the creeptastic villain who seduces a young Reese Witherspoon in Fear and a breakthrough role as porn star Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights. From there, his credits continued to accrue from a hit-and-miss standpoint, but it’s impossible to deny that Wahlberg has exceeded all expectations that anyone ever held for the front man of The Funky Bunch. Granted, the mere fact that the guy’s not lying in the same gutter as Kriss Kross would also be impressive, but I’m merely stressing the fact that none of us ever surmised that Mr. Self-Crotch Grabber would ever make an Oscar-nominated turn (for Best Supporting Actor) in a Martin Scorsese movie.

None of Mark Wahlberg’s early acting success could be considered a mistake or a result of attention-seeking maneuvers. Quite simply, there was a raw authenticity to his early work, and he later made a smooth transition to playing key roles within strong ensembles throughout many genres as illustrated by the following movies: Perfect Storm (George Clooney, John C. Reilly, Diane Lane); The Italian Job (Charlize Theron, Jason Statham, Donald Sutherland); I Heart Huckabees (Jason Schwartzman, Naomi Watts, Jude Law, Dustin Hoffman, Lily Tomlin); Three Kings (Clooney, Spike Jonze), and The Departed (DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Martin Sheen). Again, the fact that he managed to climb to such heights is pretty fucking impressive for a punk kid who was initially written off the show business map.

Despite being “on” in the above-mentioned projects, Mark Wahlberg’s also responsible for laughable performances in several clunkers like Rock Star, Planet of the Apes, and Four Brothers (although I secretly enjoyed the latter). Even worse, his most recent acting delivery has been rather abysmal even by the standards of inexplicable drivel such as The Happening, We Own the Night, Max Payne, and The Lovely Bones. And no, he really wasn’t that funny in The Other Guys either.

Somewhere along the way, Mark Wahlberg’s abilities as a thespian have stagnated, and he’s not only refused to develop further as an actor but also regressed considerably. Even worse than delivering a series of awful leading performances is that the guy’s made the mistake of pissing off the gamers in Max Payne (from the looks of things, he may have never touched the video game in preparation); and, for whatever reason, Mark Wahlberg has signed on to turn off the same targeted audience by accepting the lead role in Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune. To put it mildly, that one can’t turn out well. As an actor, Wahlberg thrives only in an optimal environment — where director, script, and fellow cast members are also close to impeccable. Take away any of these factors, and Wahlberg’s presence crumbles as well.

On the bright side, he’s one of the main players (opposite the one and only Christian Bale) within an upcoming Oscarbaiter, The Fighter. Fans of Mark Wahlberg shall get the warmies for this movie’s early buzz and also because he’s re-teaming with director David O. Russell (I Heart Huckabees). Indeed, Mark is clearly capable of delivering fine performances under the guidance of a seasoned and proven director. Perhaps he can find some repeat action with directors like Paul Thomas Anderson (Boogie Nights), James Foley (Fear), and Martin Scorsese (The Departed). There’s definitely an equation to reaching a decent Mark Wahlberg performance — now, he’s just got to realign all the factors properly and make an acting comeback.

Prognosis: While very few folks in the Pajiba crowd shall be impressed by Mark Wahlberg’s forays into television producing (Entourage” and “How to Make It in America”), the practice has proven quite lucrative for his continuing Hollywood career. The unfortunate truth about Mark’s acting abilities is one of stagnation, but he’ll keep himself afloat through producing. We can only hope that, someday, he’ll get his acting shit back in gear too.

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at agentbedhead.com.









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Comments

While very few folks in the Pajiba crowd shall be impressed by Mark Wahlberg’s forays into television producing (Entourage” and “How to Make It in America”)...

You can add Boardwalk Empire to that list. Changes things a lil' bit.

Posted by: Seany D at December 10, 2010 3:55 PM

Oh, and In Treatment.

Posted by: Seany D at December 10, 2010 3:56 PM

You forgot to mention his worst acting ever. The Big Hit. That soft-spoken crap he tried to pull off is the worst I've ever seen him.

Posted by: Paultera at December 10, 2010 4:07 PM

Say hi to your mother for me!

Yeah, hubby and I were in the middle of "The Other Guys" when I realized that Andy Samberg's impression of him was on the money. On. The. Money.

Although I will never forget his comment regarding "The Happening," he was just so happy to be in a movie as anything other than a cop. Maybe the Oscar attention will end up throwing good movies his way.

Posted by: Hayden Tompkins at December 10, 2010 4:11 PM

Side-story: I ran a half-marathon once. Somehow in the minutes leading up to the race, I managed to get "Good Vibrations" lodged into my skull. Damn song was stuck in there the entire time, and I was humming aloud at some points. But I guess it got me pumped.

Anyways, I couldn't care more or less about him, but I will admit to unabashedly loving him in I ♥ Huckabees. He was absolutely perfect in a whadafuck kind-of-way. I don't know how to explain it properly.

Posted by: penelope at December 10, 2010 5:19 PM

Waitaminutethere Paultera, The Big hit was a great little film, ridiculous and fun.

"Tracebuster buster!"

Posted by: EJ at December 10, 2010 5:26 PM

Paultera, do not besmirch The Big Hit or you can expect Lou Diamond Phillips to show up and pop...ah...pop...ah...

Wahlberg seems more set to become the next big TV producer (a 21st century Aaron Spelling or Irwin Allen) but he'll obviously continue acting since that feeds the producing and he's got the connections with the big directors.

Posted by: Fredo at December 10, 2010 5:28 PM

Thank you, Paultera. What the hell was that? I thought that would be it and we would never see him in a movie again.

Posted by: Eep at December 10, 2010 5:45 PM

Don't anyone get me wrong. I don't hate The Big Hit. Lou Diamond La Bamba Chavez was great in it. Marky Diggler's whiny voice made me want to cheese-grate my face though.

Posted by: Paultera at December 10, 2010 5:54 PM

Ah yes, but it takes me back to a simpler time, a time when Christina Applegate still had tits. *tear

Posted by: EJ at December 10, 2010 6:35 PM

Did you just refer to We Own The Night as "inexplicable drivel"??

You did; you bastard! This relationship ends here!
:
:
:


No it doesn't.

Posted by: Rest In Peace at December 10, 2010 7:13 PM

My station has been airing Entourage in syndication for a few months now, and... I've kind of gotten into it. Now, granted its for broadcast, so some of what I assume is douchier sex stuff as been cut out, but it works in the shorter form. It is essentially the same cycle, look for role, mess it up, get a role, etc, but each time theres enough change in the characters to work. I think the shorter edits contribute to that, where there's less focus on bro'ing and more on the way Hollywood malfunctions as a matter of regular business.

Posted by: e at December 10, 2010 8:33 PM

Really? Rock Star is considered bad? No one likes Rock Star?

*is surprised by this information*

well, I guess I'll just add that to the guilty pleasure list.

also The Big Hit is awesome. And We Own the Night wasn't a complete loss and The Yards was good too...


I've just outed myself as a Wahlberg fan, haven't I?

Posted by: llv at December 11, 2010 12:36 AM

I like Rock Star, too, but recognize it as a guilty pleasure. However, I also recognize that my willingness to watch any Marky Mark movie (and my continued habit of referring to him as Marky Mark, despite Wahlberg's own distaste for the name and my enduring love of Wahlberg), not matter how bad, poorly reviewed, or outside my genres of interest reflects a strange sickness that few others have. I believe seeing a shot (or several) of him in his Calvin Kleins during my adolescent years did something to my brain that was very wrong. Yet I don't want it undone.

It may also have something to do with Boogie Nights. I will also watch any and all Philip Seymour Hoffman and Don Cheadle films.

Posted by: idrathernotsay at December 11, 2010 2:00 AM

@Seany D

While your point is taken, I'm really more inclined to ascribe Boardwalk Empire to the Scorcese pedigree than to the Wahlberg one. It's hard to see the two of them as equals in that partnership, really.

Posted by: Jerry at December 11, 2010 2:57 AM

He was not in the New Kids, that was his cousin, Donnie, who's also an actor.

Posted by: Steve R at December 11, 2010 8:21 AM

As an actor, Wahlberg thrives only in an optimal environment — where director, script, and fellow cast members are also close to impeccable.
---
Well, who doesn't? I mean, you could probably plug Jessica Simpson into that circumstance and she'd do passably well.

Possibly.

Maybe.

There's a slight chance.

Posted by: , at December 11, 2010 9:44 AM

Donny is Mark's brother. He also acts..to much less fanfare. I can think of 3 things...Ransom w/ Mel Gibson, The Sixth Sense (where he has practically unrecognizable), and I think he was in that show Boomtown on NBC a few years ago. I have heard he is a huge douche in real life, not that I am too shocked by that.

Posted by: Luka at December 11, 2010 11:12 AM

Luka, Donnie was the guy who shot Bruce in The Sixth Sense. He was also a detective in various Saw sequels as well as First Sgt. Lipton in Band of Brothers.

Posted by: Fredo at December 11, 2010 11:58 AM

OMFG.

I love The Big Hit. I'm not ashamed to admit it. That movie is awful and fantastic. It doesn't pretend to be a high brow hard core action flick, it is what it is, bad.

For that movie alone, I forgive Mark Wahlburg. Of course, that could be cause he spends a good majority of time shirtless, or partially so.

Posted by: Kelly at December 11, 2010 4:17 PM

Guilty pleasure Schmuilty schmleasure!
I love Rock Star!
"Stand up and Shout!"

Posted by: Odnon. at December 11, 2010 7:09 PM

Contrary to at least one earlier snotty, poorly informed comment, it was Wahlberg who approached Martin Scorsese to direct for Boardwalk Empire. There is nothing "unequal" in the relationship of a producer hiring a director.

Posted by: Flea at December 12, 2010 12:42 PM

I'm glad I am not the only one for whom Rock Star is a guilty pleasure! No one knows about that but me. Well, and now you, my anonymous internet posters!

Posted by: Laura at December 13, 2010 2:09 PM

Four Brothers is awesome, I don't care what anyone says. Marky Mark will be nominated for Best Actor at the Oscars this year. The fact of the matter is, though Wahlberg does a lot of bad movies, he does more good than bad and therefore is still seen as good. As he should be.

And I'm sorry, but Wahlberg was funny in The Other Guys (not as funny as Will Ferrel but I liked it). And he was hilarious in Date Night. So, the man's got a good career and can do those stupid blockbuster movies once in a while without us hating him.

Oh, and to be fair Planet of the Apes wasn't his fault. We all that was going to be good. It just...wasn't.

Posted by: Littlejon2001 at December 13, 2010 2:55 PM

Wait wait. Did you forget The Yards?

Don't forget The Yards, OK? Really really good little movie. Joaquin and Marky Mark. Even Charlize is OK.

For the record, I LOVE Marky Mark's soft-spoken shtick.

Posted by: klingonfree at December 13, 2010 4:32 PM