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Assessing Kate Hudson: Perky and Blonde Just Don't Cut It

By Agent Bedhead | Posted Under Career Assessments | Comments (37)

hudsonsm.jpg

Subject: Kate Hudson, 32-year old American actress

Date of Assessment: May 4, 2011

Positive Buzzwords: Cute, perky, Cameron Crowe

Negative Buzzwords: Romcom, The Academy

The Case: It’s a question that has been asked by many writers in many instances; that is, whatever happened to Kate Hudson’s career? After all, she was considered a very promising actress for one bright, shining, and spiral-curled moment. Subsequently, she’s become far less known for her film work than her very public, TMZ-fueled habit of serial monogamy (i.e., dating famous guys) with various and random musicians and athletes. While Hudson might very well have the hottest ass in Hollywood, that ass obviously had a birthright to the Hollywood connections (Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell) that helped her get the ass in the door. Following her brief interlude as a bona fide actress, Hudson proceeded to lose all interest with quality film and merely strived for the easily attainable roles that didn’t make too terribly much of a demand in the talent area. Perhaps that’s all she was ever good for anyway, and we were all just too enamored with all of that manic pixie girlishness to notice that we were being duped.

It was little more than a decade ago when, as Penny Lane in Almost Famous, Kate Hudson slipped (as if by accident) onto the scene with a Golden Globe win and an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress. Then, Hudson ceremoniously crapped all over the associated goodwill by turning into Meg Ryan 2.0 and signing onto a series of movies that encompass the most insipid brand of romantic comedy known to cinema — Dr T and the Women; How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days; Alex & Emma; Le divorce; Raising Helen; You, Me and Dupree; Fool’s Gold; My Best Friend’s Girl; Bride Wars — with each of these movies growing increasingly demeaning to both Hudson and women in general. It’s not as if she goes out of her way to find the occasional romcom with a good script either, but ironically enough, Hudson wouldn’t have ever been well-suited for something like 500 Days of Summer despite successfully pulling off Penny Lane, who was one of the original manic pixie dream girls. Speaking of which, I have grown warm to the opinion that Hudson’s turn as a Band-Aide was a complete fluke and possibly even an illusion that was so carefully crafted by director Cameron Crowe that audiences couldn’t help but fall in love with Hudson too. Then, that bubble burst.

At this point, hope for a comeback might be too much to ask for at all. For a brief period a few years ago, Hudson actually formed some awareness of the fact that she’s been steadily running her career into the ground, so she signed onto a disastrous ensemble pic (Nine) and a very non-mainstream movie where her fabulous ass got pulverized (The Killer Inside Me). After these extremely uncharacteristic career moves didn’t pan out quite as expected, Hudson immediately climbed back into her romcom security blanket. Up next, Hudson shall be appearing in two more (what else?) romcoms, Something Borrowed and A Little Bit of Heaven.

Prognosis: As hard as she might try in the future, Kate Hudson will never be the next Marisa Tomei. Although Tomei also experienced some difficulty re-proving her mettle after acceptance by The Academy, Kate Hudson never really had have the acting mettle to begin with. All she ever had was a famous set of parents, a cute face, and a perky ass, none of which shall ever get her any further than the lowest circle of romcom hell. Just for the moment, let’s fruitlessly revisit the role that made Kate Hudson (almost) famous:

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at agentbedhead.com.









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Comments

The most annoying actress working today.

Posted by: bob at May 5, 2011 3:12 PM

The definition of "perky" must have changed while I wasn't looking. Having the pectorals of a six year old Cambodian boy wasn't included.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 5, 2011 3:21 PM

You missed out The Skeleton Key.

It was shite too.

Posted by: frank_247 at May 5, 2011 3:24 PM

If that's the hottest ass in Hollywood, then Hollywood should be put to the torch, its residents put to the blade and the Earth salted that nothing may grow there FOR A THOUSAND YEARS.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at May 5, 2011 3:29 PM

I'll admit it. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days is a guilty pleasure.

I don't know. If you're going to dismiss her script choices as crap, then wouldn't it be possible that she still has some great performances in her? Cameron Crowe has a knack for coaxing good performances out of his actors, but she was still pretty damn good in that movie. I haven't seen most of those other movies you mentioned, but in the ones I have seen, it's not Kate Hudson in particular that makes me recognize them as bad movies. It seems to me that she's delivering exactly what's expected of her for that market.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 5, 2011 3:39 PM

Acting like a slut when you, in fact, ARE a degenerate slut, does not a good performance make.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 5, 2011 3:44 PM

She was good in Skeleton Key.

Posted by: Melody Be at May 5, 2011 3:55 PM

frank: shite, yes, but not romcom shite.

I figure that maybe someone will kick around a remake of Cactus Flower and Kate can do a like mother, like daughter and snag that Oscar for reals and then go away.

Oh, you didn't remember that Goldie Hawn has an Oscar? She does.

Posted by: Jerry at May 5, 2011 4:02 PM

I get the feeling that she's probably not a nice person offscreen. I think that's why I've never bought her as a perky sunny leading lady. I'd suggest playing a nasty role but I don't think she has the chops. That's gonna be one scary face when she inevitably goes under the knife.

Posted by: andrew at May 5, 2011 4:05 PM

I didn't read it, not out of disrespect to you, but because I can't stand her. I cant stand her I cant stand her I cant stand her.

Posted by: JuiceinLA at May 5, 2011 4:14 PM

Had an epiphany: I realized why I've never cared much for Almost Famous (or didn't revere it like this site has). I didn't like Kate Hudson.

This doubles as my comment for the other big posting of the day: Moves That You've Lied About Enjoying.

Almost Famous is #1 for me.

Posted by: gunnertec at May 5, 2011 4:24 PM

WTF?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 5, 2011 4:26 PM

I hated Almost Famous. I don't know what all the fuss is about.

Posted by: BWeaves at May 5, 2011 4:31 PM

Now that I think about it, Goldie Hawn got by on perky and blonde for a really long time herself. At least she had the good sense to mix it up occasionally, play against type now and again (inasmuch as she could, anyway).

Posted by: Jerry at May 5, 2011 4:34 PM

Must be awesome to just walk into the producer's motel room get down on your knees, wipe your face and her him say:

YOU ARE HIRED!

Jut like mom did.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 5, 2011 4:47 PM

*hear

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 5, 2011 4:49 PM

@BWeaves- I completely agree. Almost Famous is in my opinion completely overrated, as is her performance.
I always wanted to like Kate Hudson because of her parents, but her movies are just.so.bad.
Her parents are still awesome, though. I will watch Overboard whenever it's on TV.

Posted by: BalladofMaxwellDemon at May 5, 2011 5:04 PM

I have to admit that I haven't seen that many Kate Hudson movies because they all smell like shite, even from a distance, but it's always seemed to me that she has the opposite screen quality of her mother. Goldie Hawn always seems adorable and likable, even when she's playing the bitch, whereas Kate Hudson always seems like a bitch even when she's playing perky and adorable.

Posted by: jimbob at May 5, 2011 5:31 PM

Funny story - my cousin (who waitressed at a country club in Ontario cottage country) had to refuse Kate Hudson alcohol when she was 15 and apparently hooking up with Eric Lindros. Bitch tried to use her fame to buy drinks.

Posted by: Mary at May 5, 2011 7:17 PM

"Must be awesome to just walk into the producer's motel room get down on your knees, wipe your face and her him say:

YOU ARE HIRED!

Jut like mom did."

If they keep dropping I keep hiring.

ps and its hear and just.

Posted by: clancys_daddy at May 5, 2011 7:26 PM

Y'all, Kate Hudson's dad is Bill Hudson, not Kurt Russell.

Posted by: Ray Ray at May 5, 2011 7:46 PM

Ballad:
Kate's father isn't in Overboard. That's Kate's mother's boyfriend. Kate's father, Bill Hudson of the Hudson Brothers, divorced Goldie Hawn in 1980.

Posted by: Jerry at May 5, 2011 7:50 PM

"Game over man, GAME OVER!!!"

Posted by: bleujayone at May 5, 2011 7:56 PM

Re: Kate's father:

Nice to see some people on this movie site actually take the time to look someone up before rehashing their career...


Posted by: Some Guy at May 5, 2011 8:07 PM

This may just be semantics, but I actually know that her father is not Russell but that she considers Kurt and Goldie her "parents" and hasn't been too close to her biological father.
Just as I consider my stepdad to be my parent because he raised me.
But even if I didn't know that my feelings on the matter are "meh, whatever". I've already spent enough time caring about Kate Hudson.

Posted by: BalladofMaxwellDemon at May 5, 2011 9:47 PM

While Hudson might very well have the hottest ass in Hollywood

That is a very bold statement which demands a great deal of pictorial research. We will be waiting, AB.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at May 5, 2011 9:48 PM

@bleujayone...

well played.

star beasts, indeed.

Posted by: BalladofMaxwellDemon at May 5, 2011 9:55 PM

What happened to her career?

Everyone actually watched Almost Famous instead of pretending they did, and realized it was a terrible fucking movie, and that she was the worst part of it?

OH YEAH I WENT THERE. Damn movie.

Posted by: Figgy at May 6, 2011 1:11 AM

Kate Hudson is nothing more than a cum receptacle for rock stars.

Posted by: Allen at May 6, 2011 1:14 AM

I read the script of Almost Famous off a website and loved it. The movie, however, was a disappointment. I couldn't help thinking that the script was way better.

Posted by: Diviya at May 6, 2011 7:55 AM

Diviya,

YOU ARE SPOT ON.

I watched Almost Famous years ago and didn't like it. Especially Kate Hudson.

Then last year, I read the script and loved it. Laughed out loud many times. So I figured I was too young and/or stupid when I first watched the movie.

So I watched it again and... hated it. Especially Kate Hudson.

She ruined Almost Famous. The sad thing is that Sarah Polley was apparently one of the leading candidates for the role. She would've made it a truly great film.

Posted by: Chris JL at May 6, 2011 8:59 AM

Teeny tiny boobies....but her mom's were delicious. Was she adopted?

Posted by: grumpiestoldman at May 6, 2011 3:53 PM

grumpiest:
Past tense? For as much as she's paying to keep everything in place, I'd hope you'd say "her mom's are delicious."

Posted by: Jerry at May 6, 2011 5:37 PM

She's already BEEN under the knife. That's half her original nose.

(Okay, not half -- but she narrowed and perked the shit out of a perfectly nice, rounded tip nose.)

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at May 6, 2011 9:25 PM

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this piece! She is just awful. When people go on and on about how great she was in Almost Famous, I can't help but think, how hard is it to play yourself? Didn't everyone just love Madonna in Deperately Seeking Susan? We all know how the rest of her acting career turned out.

(It really pissed me off that Rob Marshall created a role for her in Nine. She is just not worthy of being in the company of the great DDL.)

Posted by: Kristen from MA at May 7, 2011 2:56 PM

Ok, I hated the movie. But the scene where she sings "Pop That P@#^y" from my Best Friend's Girl was freakin' hilarious. Me being from Miami and all and 2 Live Crew being the soundtrack of my youth.

Posted by: daria at May 12, 2011 5:29 PM

I so wanted to be one the cool kids that "got" Almost Famous, but I thought it was a yawn. Kate was the only novelty in it and that wore off fast. Time for her to step down and give Rumer Willis a turn.

Posted by: madashell at May 20, 2011 7:46 PM