Pajiba

I can't really say what the worst movie of all time is - I'm hoping I haven't seen any of the contenders.

I'm not even going to try with the movie title thing, I think Dustin's pick will take it. Damn but that's a terrible title.

Regarding Femme Fatales in movies, Wanted with Angelina Jolie comes out June 27th and from the previews it looks like she's playing a pretty hard boiled chick. Then again, when doesn't Angelina Jolie play a hard boiled chick? And the X-Files movie is scheduled for July 25th but that could go either way given how they wrote her character on the show after Mulder left.

And I still want to see Sarah Marshall. Stupid European release dates.

Milla Jovovich is pretty hard boiled as Alice in the Resident Evil series, and Rhona Mitra in Doomsday wasn't bad at all.

Worst Movie Title Ever: Crazy Beautiful...you know, cuz Kirsten Alien Flesh was crazy...and : :shudder: : ...beautiful. They even say it in the trailer to make sure they drive the point home.

I have to go with this--and I'm writing as a Star Wars geek (quiet, Pajibans)--but I have to go with this as the worst movie title, if not ever, at least within recent memory:

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.

...in fact that movie title makes about as much sense as renaming 'Aliens' Attack of the Cuddly Squisheemoneys. She is as beautiful as a pinecone is soft, and just as talented.

The first horrible movie title that comes to mind (as it is blinking in my face) is "The Hottie and the Nottie". awful title for what I can only assume is an awful movie.

Point taken, Dustin. Personally, "The Last Seduction" and "Romeo Is Bleeding" pretty much filled up my lifetime quota for Scary Scary Women but...point taken.

Maybe it's easier to enjoy if you're not single!

goddammit...Squishymonkeys. Monkeys. Now I'm allll fucked up. Thanks Kirsten! ...insufferable bitch.

What the fuck happened to bitches in film? Where are our femme fatales? The hard-assed, hard-nosed fuck-you-up dragon ladies? Or the evil villainesses?

Amen. I've been wondering what happened to make women more Rachel Ray than Dragonlady. It's annoying. And I thought Meryl Streep's character in The Devil Wears Prada was gonna be the female equivalent of Buddy...how disappointed was I when I finally watched it?

The Forbidden Kingdom line made me snort early in the morning.

I didn't even hear about Deception until this weekend. I'll have to go check it out. After Harold and Kumar of course...gotta keep our priorities straight. Stoner comedies are above crime thrillers.

I think you won it with that title, Dustin...nothing I could think of comes close.

PissBoy, don't forget. It's "Crazy/Beautiful". That slash makes the whole thing come alive.

A wordwide search for the perfect best man?

You mean the guy who hires a stripper for the stag night and then gives a lame drunken speech at the wedding? Am I missing something? Is there humor to be mined here that isn't lame and stereotypical?

Last time female buddies were number 1 at the box office? Had to be Thelma and Louise.

I'd have assumed that as well, Paddy -- but T & L actually only opened with $6 million on a Memorial Day Weekend, and went on to make a decent but not spectacular $45 million. -- DR

when's the last time a movie featuring two female leads was number one at the box office?

Discounting White Chicks?

How about Laura in Brick?

not exactly an ass kicking femme fatale, but godamn was she manipulative and evil

I like that better anyways, subtly usually wins with me

(and add me to those who were super disappointed with Meryl Streep's character in Devil, there was absolutely no reason to portray her as anything other than the henious bitch she was written as, which was glorious)

You want the female Jack Donaghy? Sigourney Weaver did that role in The TV Set (which came out last year) where she also plays a network executive. And she does it with a toy panda pinned to her lapel.

To quote Sigourney Weaver in The TV Set:

"To Slut Wars!"

it is good

double female leads: Single White Female?

Rachel Weisz in "The Shape of Things". That shit was just COLD.

Evil dragonlady? How about Lucille Bluth?

Mila Kunis stars as an assassin

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...........

Sigourney Weaver must really enjoy playing cutthroat bitches. She was the backstabbing, conniving, snotty executive in Working Girl. No redeeming qualities. She was all bitch.

I actually thought, when you ran the trailer for Young People Fucking last week, that it was the worst title I'd ever heard for a film, especially in terms of ads and distribution. But damn, blaxploitation got me trumped.

From the planet Anus, indeed.

Re: Tough chicks in movies. Um, Planet Terror and Death Proof had some pretty badass broads.

As for horrible movie titles, non-exploitation division?

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Check and mate.

"The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain" is pretty bad. On the other hand, it gave me enough information to avoid the film.

"Porky's" will always make my skin crawl.

By the way, it's the highest grossing Canadian film EVER (domestic box office). triple ugh.

Did "Outrageous Fortune" reach #1?

No no, TK. "Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark" is worse.

Adam C, I would love to consider Milla Jovovich a badass in the resident evil movies, but aside from the action scenes, she is so monotone and lacks the ability to spit out a line that makes an actor/actress badass in the first place.

Alice: "That homicidal bitch may be our only way out of here." - uh, wow, that's it?

Aside from that, how about Ellen Page in Hard Candy? I don't know why it took me so long to see that flick, but god damn was I entertained...

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

Whoa, camel. It was just Raiders of the Lost Ark. The "Indiana + ..." didn't come in till the second one.

"It is nice to see a female buddy comedy rise to the top, however; when's the last time a movie featuring two female leads was number one at the box office?"

Ummm....Monster-in-Law? IMDB tells me it was number 1 at the box office in May 2005. JLo & Jane Fonda would be considered the leads, right?

This makes me so, very sad.

That's the problem, Ted. That's the newly-uniform title of the dvd when the box came out.

It's not as bad as Greedo and flashlights, but still bad.

...and on topic with horrible movie titles, I always thought Octopussy was an AWFUL title for a Bond movie. Could very easily be some sort of fetish porn or a fantasy that I could easily find myself in (either involving 8 hot chicks, or 1 chick with an abnormality).

still can't believe that title wasn't censored, regardless...

I was going to say that, Jay. When I was young, I always thought Indy was a raider himself, but I guess that's too grey for Lucas and Spielberg these days. Now the raiders are just the bad guys.

However, it can't touch me, as I gave up getting surprised/angry/homocidal with this re-tooling shit the moment the shotguns in ET turned to radios. So Crystal Skull is a worse title. I can't even say it properly.

That's the newly-uniform title of the dvd when the box came out.

Bwuh, that's just stupid. IMDb even has it as the "aka" name. Shenanigans!

What is wrong with these people that they can't leave well enough alone? Well, I stand by my statement. Never happened. You can't convince me.

[/fingers in ears] La-la-la-la-la!

The new Indiana Jones flick gets a pass from me because I finally saw the trailer and went "Oh my god, they're using Girl Hitler as the villain. Awesome." And I'm going to see it for that reason alone.

Hard Candy totally qualifies as a badass female role.

Ummmm, did Practical Magic ever hit number 1? That was headlined by Nicole Kidman when she still had a real face and Sandra Bullock.

About Bitches..

Tilda Swinton in /Micheal Clayton'?

Talking about backstabbing..

Dustin....it seemed like you were positive about The Brave One and Jodie Foster's good job of playing a vengeful Jodie Foster. That's badassery right???

I can't fucking believe the answer to "when's the last time a movie featuring two female leads was number one at the box office?" but goddammit all th hell.... Monster in Law in 2005. 'H'ennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda got top billing. Buddy females indeed.

...Suck it Hollywood. Balls deep. And don't forget to tongue my grundel.

I think bad movie titles are a lot like country western song titles. Many times the title is the best thing about the movie (or song).

I thought "Plan 9 From Outerspace" was a pretty bad title, but then I saw "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" starring Pia Zadora in her best role.

Omg.She is gorgeous. I saw her profile on BlackWhiteKiss. c o M last week. It seems she turns to online dating scene for true love.

how about Killer Clowns From Outer Space?
that one is a classic

and Bweaves, I only watch Santa Clause Conquers the Martins if it is the MST3K variety...

Clearly, no one has informed the spambot that interracial dating is against the law of God.

Hrmph.

Hell, I thought Juno was a pretty badass female character. Girl lives her own life.

No doubt Dustin will still take it, but the title "Atomic Twister" (a TV movie no less) still makes me roll my eyes and look for a place to hide.

She is so beautiful!I love her.Maybe many men like her,too.If you want to know her more,you would go to "S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m ".She is also on "S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m ",there are a lot of reports about her.You can contact her on that site.

FIRST WIVES CLUB was #1 it's opening weekend, though it featured 3 female leads, not just 2.

I saw a French horror flick this weekend called INSIDE. It was essentially torture porn, but the antagonist was an extremely demented woman. Not quite femme fatale, so maybe it doesn't count. Plus, it was a crappy, crappy movie, save the FX.

Ooh, "Lobster Man from Mars"! Granted, it's a descriptive title more so than a bad one....

I agree with wsapnin, "The Hottie and the Nottie" is waaaay up there on the list of horrible movie titles. Also, "Dude, Where's My Car?" is pretty moronic.

Hey, are we allowing porn movie titles? 'Cause that would blow the field wide open! (hey, I think that IS a porn movie title...)

Also, "Dude, Where's My Car?" is pretty moronic.

Both as title and movie, so I think it served its purpose admirably.

Oh come on. It can't be Monster-in-Law. That wasn't two female leads. Neither of them could be described as a "lead" in the true sense of the word. Maybe Jane 30 years ago but not today. How about Johnny Depp (he's prettier than most women) and Keira Knightly in the Pirates fanchise? Give me anything but Monster-in-Law, please.

Kizzer, using Sci-Fi Channel movies is just cheating. I mean, come on. Talk about fish in a barrel!

But you are correct, I giggle helplessly at the titles of their movies.

MANSQUITO!!!!

"To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Whatsherfrick"

or

"Gummo"... God, I hated that movie.

SSSSSSS, I shit you not.
and/or
Freddy Got Fingered *dies inside*

Paddy!

the spambot seems to be back in form
we can cease the worrying :)

How about Don't be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood?

Fun fact: the movie was worse than the title.

As much as i do enjoy the spambot, I think Dustin and all may want to insert one of those frustrating text capture things to post a comment. Spambot is getting bold. Not in the fact that it is posting twice now, but that it DARES to suggest interracial dating is OK. I hear a man's penis falls off if he bangs outside his own race. And I hear women grow a third tit. Now...while I do enjoy my women to occasionally be martian mutants, having been victims of bad air, cheap glass, and too many rays leaking into the 'Ville, that is just proom positive that BlackWhiteKiss.com is run by hommunist commosexual dwarves.

As far as bad names go, the new Bond film is called Quantum of Solace. Let that one sink in.
Also TK, Mansquito is perhaps my favorite "Sci-Fi Original".
*Scene*: (Lesser-Baldwin-Lookalike Enters With Bazooka) Hey Mansquito!
(Mansquito turns and squeaks, as if acknowledging that it now goes by that name)
Pshew-BOOM!
*End Scene* I'm sorry, there's something caught in my eye. *Sniff*

My favorite SciFi channel movie title will always and forever be "Kaw." I laughed till I cried when I saw that on my menu screen.

Oh my god, they're using Girl Hitler as the villain

HA!!!

I may have to order another skull shirt one size up. Those bastards appear to run small 'n' clingy, especially after a washing. "You're not in that good a shape today, man. Check back in a couple weeks and wear the other one today". Just like Neil Gaiman's jeans.

But do you have the Molotov shirt yet, Rusty?

Re: renaming Raiders of the Lost Ark to include the main character's name: It's just in case anyone who has ever gone to the movies ever might not know who the main character is. I mean, godtopus dammit! It might be about Noah and his big ol' boat, right??

Also, Quantum of Solace , anyone?

Oooops, TyranThesaurus Rex, I'm obviously a way slow typist.

Ooh, I want to add any movie that uses texting shorthand, like Cradle 2 the Grave. That makes me want to beat everyone involved with a hardbound (heh) edition of The Complete Works of Shakespeare.

Sci-Fi movies make me cackle helplessly. Favorite titles outside of Mansquito? Any of the snake/python/boa/mega-snake series. Also, Frankenfish.

FRANKENFISH, people.

God, I love that channel and it's nonstop suck-factory of shitty movies. I'm strangely drawn to them.

Jay, I don't have any Venture Brothers apparel, but being in Europe puts a damper on my internet shopping. However, I DO have a birthday this summer and that will definitely go on my list. I just wish they had that Molotov shirt in a more... girl sized style. But I guess there aren't enough female VB fans to make it worth their while.

And Molotov totally fits the femme fatale description. I mean, one-eyed Russian mercenary, what more could you want?

June 1st!

"Gummo"... God, I hated that movie.
Worse movie EVER.

Hehe...I'm remembering a lot of these movies. How's about "Ernest Goes to Africa" ?

TK, have you seen the ads for Aztec Rex? The tagline is "The Aztecs summoned a T Rex to keep Cortes and his army out of Mexico. ...[cue dramatic baritone voice]now they need the Conquistadors' help to stop the T-Rex from killing them all."

Brilliant. I wonder if the execs at SciFi have a dartboard with adjectives and types of wildlife, and that's how they come up with movies.

:thwack:

Badger!

:thwack:

Sexified?

:thwack thwack thwack:

Of Unholy Doom! The Sexified Badger of Unholy Doom, start a-writing, typewriter monkey slaves!

The worst movie title I've seen in awhile, and it's not even out until August of this year:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0805570/

The Sexified Badger of Unholy Doom

Do you have claim to that name, Julie? Cuz that'd be a real kinky porn movie name...

SciFi is always a goldmine of sucky C-list movies. They're so bad they're awesome!

I want to second Quantum of Solace, by the way....

I do Shadows, so don't you be stealing it!

I'm thinking of casting John Turturro as the badger.

I'm sorry, but I stand by Midnight Meat Train. I love the whole old-school slasher vibe it's got.

And damn you, Dakaron, for calling them C-list! The people who brought us Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave from the Grave, and Manticore, can do no wrong in my book.

I figure anything that makes TK cackle can only be good for the rest of us. I mean, this guy controls a brain-starved zombie horde and has BSlim locked up in his basement, AND on numerous times has threatened various 'Jibans as well as the burning of the internets. We should post a list of sucktastic movie titles to keep him more mellow and less stabby!

TK, why did you have to mention MegaSnake? I saw that only out of love for Michael Shanks, but my God, it was awful. The bad special effects, the shitty accents, and some dude named Big Bo. I laughed so hard I almost wet myself.

I'm confused; are we not getting a review of Harold & Kumar? I saw it last night and it wasn't bad. Not as good as the first, but not bad. The love plot w/ Kumar was unnecessary.

Holy christ... "Manticore"! That movie is the reason I can't quite trust Minimus The effects in that flick were so goddamed bad...

Noooo! LordHelmet, a stabby TK is a NORMAL TK...we need to antagonize him good and often, otherwise he starts singing Carpenters songs and painting pictures of kittens in frilly dresses hugging hampsters, thereby freaking us the fuck out.

I don't know if I should admit this, but I, without any hyperbole, have seen every single Sci-Fi Channel movie we've mentioned so far. I'm hopelessly addicted to them. They're like shitty Saturday afternoon crack.

Brie, I'm going to pretend that you didn't just carelessly and thoughtlessly insult MegaSnake. It is a seminal episode in the Awesome Giant Snake Series, which are basically glorious poetry converted into TV movies.

I'm going to pretend that you're upset about something else, and unthinkingly took it out on MegaSnake.

That's it, right?

RIGHT?!?!

I beg to differ, TK. While Atomic Twister may find it's home on SciFi now, it started out at the Mecca for horrible made for TV movies - USA.

Damn, Kizzer, I just got schooled.

[bows]

Is it wrong that I liked the movie the title of this post was taken from?

Dammit, Tyran! I was going to say Quantum of Solace too! The first time I saw the title I went "What of what?" I want whatever those Bond people are smoking.

Oh and another film title that made my brain go boing was "Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind". I mean...wtf does that mean? I refused to watch the damn film for a long time because of the title. Oooh another one "How she move", how much does an "s" cost, bitchtits?!

Holy Lord, there's a series of these snake movies? If I rent them, I'm torn between burning them for the good of mankind, or watching them for the S&M pleasure.

Yes, TK I did laugh, shamelessly. The worst part is that the name of the movie is a tease; there's no male nudity of any kind!

Just for curiosity's sake, did anyone see that Insatiable? It looked pretty campy, like Modern Vampires.

Joker my love, Eternal Sunshine's title comes from a line in a poem by Alexander Pope. It's a gorgeous poem, I used to love reading Pope in college. :)

God I love that movie. Stupid Jim Carrey, stop breaking my heart and start choosing decent scripts again!

I'm willing to give the Bond series movie titles a pass -- they're always sort of INTENTIONALLY silly, aren't they?

I think Clive Barker's upcoming yawnfest "Midnight Meat Train" might take the spot for worst film title. I can't be scared of a movie that sounds like a seventies porno.

Aah, thanks Julie for enlightening this uncultured youth ;) Ok, I still don't understand what the hell it means though. I'm not much of a poetry person...or...no, I'm lying...I just never really tried it.

Joker, I love me some poetry. Especially when they're dirty haikus. :p

I put off "Eternal" for the longest time as it quickly became painfully hip and there seemed to be a lot of that going around at the time and I would say "Fuck your Yankee arthouse!" and leave them be.

I'm such a pissy contrarian sometimes.

Maybe it just needed the right time. I watched a forcibly loaned friend's dvd on the night of an approaching ice storm. I was going out to meet somebody later on and I was a bit excited about that and, divorced from all popularity and context, it hit me in just the right place and I loved it and nodded "yes, I do that, yes I would do that", etc. Nothing much came of the evening ultimately except a slow drive home once the interstate was closed, but the movie was still good.

Seeing the word "MegaSnake" almost made me choke. For an instant I thought it was made up, but I was amused/horrified (there's that magic slash again) to realize it was completely true.

I blame my education for failing me on the poetry front. Well it was my own fault for specialising in maths and physics in high school, but still... Sad.

Oh yes, I'm shocked, Julie, shocked that you have a fondness for anything dirty.

I like the Nantucket limerick. Does that count as poetry?

"Is it wrong that I liked the movie the title of this post was taken from?"

No. What's wrong is that it's April bloody 28th and it's still freezing in this city that I am forced to live in.

Don't be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood

You cannot hate on Don't be a Menace. It is the last good thing that a Wayans brother ever did. I am not saying it is a great movie, but it is soem great hangover theater. You use maybe two brain cells the whole time.

How cold is Chicago, Paddy? Because unless it's colder than 36 degrees, you shall get no pity from me. It effing SNOWED here this weekend. Not a lot, and then it rained so it washed away, but still. Where the hell is spring, and what the holy hell happened to global warming? I should have beachfront property and be enjoying the warmth of the Gulfstream by now while I bask in the glow of radiation. Instead, I'm wearing wool socks and three layers. Fuck spring and fuck global warming. Those bitches are such teases.

PaddyDog, I sympathize. Yesterday was my birthday, and all I wished for was warmth. But I got wind, rain AND spring allergies, cause mother nature is still holding a grudge against me for all the shit I talked about her this winter.

Joker, I got my bachelors degree in English, which is why I knew of Alexander Pope to begin with. My high school blew. :p

So, Sarina, how is Minnesota today?

I believe all of your questions about global warming should be directed to Al Gore.

Damn Sarina...and I was all pissy this morning because the temp went back below 60.

[is grateful I don't live in Minnesota]

Sarina:

Not quite 36 degrees (I assume you mean Fahrenheit), but bloody cold, freezing rain, horizontal wind that makes dressing to avoid said rain meaningless. The lake is churning (I thought I was going to lose one of the dogs this morning when his head went under a wave for what seemed like the longest time). The few flowers that were lured out of the earth for two warmish days last week have frozen and died and my will to live is quickly going the same way. Add to that the fact that I don't watch Lost so Pajiba will be dead to me today, my only reason for staying conscious right now is the return of my beloved Dr. Gregory House tonight. But it seems a long way to 8 pm right now.

Melody, I'm fairly convinced that the rest of the braincells suffered damage from lack of use during the movie. Then they spent the last of their energy repressing the memory of the viewing, leaving only a few warning flashes so I knew better than to go back again.

But I was young at the time, and didn't have the understanding of a hangover. I have since perfected my hangover cave technique-- baguette (I don't share), Lipton noodle soup, and any form of television re-runs. Next time I cannot lift my head after a night of good times, perhaps I can revisit South Central.

Fuck spring and fuck global warming. Those bitches are such teases.

They're teases?! You're teases! I'm having to dress with the fear of sweat every day now. At least there's a post-rain windy chill going on at the moment, but it'll just be rain that makes it muggy crap when the sun comes out in a few days.

I could complain about the weather, but I spent 10 years in the north of Norway, so I'll just shut up and appreciate the lovely lovely windy weather of The Hague. Sure it's 11 degrees (Celsius, I refuse to learn that idiotic Farenheit scale), but at least it's not snowing. Good times. This weekend was so warm I was just lying in a park looking at the pretty patterns the planes were making and wondering if they were going to crash on me.

Joker, what country are you originally from?

I'm so jealous of people who have lived...in other places. Heh. I'm too much of a pussy to move far away.

Let's see: Rwanda till I was 12, Kenya till 15, Norway till 25. In between, Australia for a year and now I've moved to the Netherlands. After the first couple of moves it gets easier, then it gets addictive.

Paddy, I don't watch Lost either (not that this will shock anyone), so my entire afternoon is probably going to be one long series of skull-crushingly dull reports. It's freezing in my office and incredibly grey looking outside my window. I want a drink, a fireplace, and a nap.

WOW. That's really cool, Joker. Man I'm boring, I've only ever lived in the Philly suburbs and Philly itself. I can't wait till I make my millions so I can travel more. :)

Joker:

There really should be a support group for those of us who object to Farenheit on principle. It is the most ridiculous scale ever invented and that bar is quite high (I'm looking at you Francis Beaufort). Do people honestly think I'm going to add forty, multiply by 5/9 (or is it 9/5) and then subtract another forty (as if I had those kind of maths skills to beging with) just to figure out that it's 32 F when the ground starts to freeze as opposed to a nice round little zero?

add me to those we are completely done with this day
it was warm and sunny and now it is rainy and chilly, and I am tired and....

...

....

...and I just ran out of motivation to do anything but sit here and stare out the window

(and damn Joker....way to live)

Paddydog, I feel your pain, first of all it's 32, not 40, second of all I don't give a shit what number it is. The whole damn scale is silly, it's not based on anything and makes absolutely no sense! We should all just switch to Kelvins if you ask me.

Julie, it's not all that expensive to travel when it's well planned. Just find the cheapest ticket to anywhere and go. I guess it's easier in Europe because we can just take trains to other countries.

Thank God for you Sarina. If I could I'd bring a hot water bottle and a nice cup of cocoa to you (I brought some Valrhona back from my last trip):

I've even tried reading the Lost threads thinking something entertaining will be there, but it's all "some character did blah blah". I may have to finish work early today and check out my recorded eps of The Sarah Jane Adventures (anyone know if it's any good?). Jay? Anyone?

Thanks, Bethy, but I'm afraid I can't take the credit. If you look at the first country, it'll give you a hint of what started the whole travelling thing. It's much easier if you're forced to do it.

This thread needs Julie to say something so sick it'll snap you out of your listlessness.

Joker:

Sorry for the nitpick but if you add 32 only at the end your method is correct. The other method is to add 40, do the 9/5 thingy and then subtract your 40 out again. That's just one of the many reasons why it's the supreme bastard of scales because even the mathematics are confusing.

Paddy, I'd never heard of that formula before. Mind you, I didn't try very hard. A nice way of dealing with temperature scales is to move to a country where there's "hot", "warm" and "chilly enough to wear a sweater, but warm enough to sit outside in the evening".

ahhh, I see Joker
yeah, there really wasn't much propelling me out of middle Connecticut. you know, besides boredom

and you hear that Julie?
my ability to survive these last two hours of work have been put into your hands

do not fail me

Dammit Joker, I'm not a vending machine of dirtiness where you can stick your money into my slot and expect a sticky treat.

[grosses self out, laughs hysterically]

Paddy, I've also tried reading the Lost threads, but holy hell I don't think I'm psychologically capable of being bored enough to try to endure the nonsense of that show. Something about tropical island polar bears and a monster and some kind of war and I don't even know. I'd rather spend the whole day reorganising my filing cabinets.

In other news, that turkey from a few weeks ago is back. It's walking in circles around the little slope outside my office window. I don't think it's quite right in the head, even for a turkey. It's not a good sign when the highlight of your afternoon is a mildly retarded gallinaceous bird having some kind of episode fifteen feet away from you.

hee!!

okay, that made me smile :)

thanks Julie!

I attemped to read the first ever Lost review and subsequent thread, but it just made my head hurt as I have never seen the show
so now I just ignore it

and I am sensing dinner Sarina.
it will be easier to capture in its retarded state, and I hear mutated genes just make the bird tastier

Damn, Paddy, guilty reminder. I'm not ignoring Sarah Jane, I just keep forgetting. If only there was a way I could go out to watch TV. I stopped to have another pint of that good local ale on the way home from work and picking up my record Thursday and got through two issues of The Spirit and three Midnighters.

Yes, I read in bars, if there's enough light, but yes I do carry reading material with me everywhere.

So that helped my comics In Tray. I used to go to Blue Sky Coffee in Athens on Wednesdays the year I moved back and was working at that business-to-business marketing place. I'd go get my new comics, get a big latte and go down in their smoking basement (course you can't smoke inside anywhere in Athens now). Even with things I like I need a ritual or I get lazy with keeping up.

Yes, I read in bars, if there's enough light, but yes I do carry reading material with me everywhere.

Me too Jay. I always read a book when I'm meeting up with friends at the bar, and I always carry a book in my purse. Even when it's small, then I make sure to borrow a paperback from the library.

I am a proud geek.

I think a pretty bad title for a movie would have to be The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. I think they did it just for the sake of doing it. But that's just me.
And Eternal Sunshine is not only one of my favorite titles but also one of my favorite movies. But Dustin I think takes the cake in worst titles ever.

Jay, Julie, I use to carry around a book everywhere when I commuted an hour and a half daily. I love my ability to tear through books. Unfortunately, I learned to sleep on the train, found cheap parking for when I'm feeling too princessy to take the train, and worked it out so I don't have to make the commute as often anymore.

I think you guys inspired to me start up again.

Ah, Julie, I knew I could count on your very very sick mind and you came through once again. *Sticks money into Julie's slot and waits to see what comes out...* Oh yikes, I just grossed myself out too!

I've always thought it strange that there are people who don't carry books around everywhere. I mean...what do they do while waiting for the bus? Or are on the bus? Or waiting for someone? Or...? I just don't see why I should stare at my shoes when there's a Discworld to explore (for example).

I'm jealous of all you Minnesota people. Here in mountain-land, where it's supposed to be cold year-round, it's about 80 degrees with the sun beating down, and I desperately miss the weird looks people give me when I trek through the snow barefoot in a t-shirt. Give me snow over sun ANY day.

Forget waiting for a bus, every day I see people on airplanes with no reading material. I mean eight hour flights and they just sit staring ahead. The worst is when they realize how bored they are and try to cut into my space to talk when I clearly want to be left alone to read.

See? It's not just me!

There's..............two of us.

You want to talk about weather? I've been in Ireland since late January and in all the months I've been here the weather, on average, has remained exactly the same. There's been a few genuinely cold days, a few genuinely nice days, but for 4 months it's been "kinda chilly with some clouds and rain, and probably windy". I feel like a troll.

One month till I go back to someplace with seasons. Although I'm with Joker on this one; I loved Miami. We had three seasons "Warm" "Hot and Rainy" "Temperate and Sunny" and then back to "Warm". Fantastic.

Oh God, Paddy... you've struck item number 374 of "things that make me murderousy": People who talk to me on the plane. Seriously, I'm fairly goddamn certain I give off a strong "leave me the fuck alone" vibe on the plane. So if I'm wearing headphones, or reading, or picking my fucking navel lint, DO NOT FUCKING TALK TO ME.

And if you should start anyway because you're too fucking stupid to read my signals, once I start grunting noncommitally and staring at your face as if I'm thinking about biting it, you should really stop. Or better yet, move your seat, because I am going to strangle you with my seatbelt and then stuff your bloated corpse in the luggage bin. After I feast on the steaming goo in your head and then make your eyeballs into a souvenir.

I really don't like it when strangers talk to me.

You guys are fine though.

only number 374 TK?

I figured you would be in the thousands by now....

TK:

People who strike up conversations on airplanes should just be hauled to the door and flung out into the receiving arms of the engine blades (someday I'll figure out how to do this without causing the plane to go down). I once had a guy ask "to see my book" in an interested voice and when I showed him the cover, he closed it LOSING THE PAGE I WAS ON and stuffed in the seat pocket saying "now I have your book hostage so we can talk". The fact that I am not right now awaiting lethal injection for murder is a testament to my extreme self-control that day. In a related story, there's a guy out there with a pair of linen pants ruined by ginger ale spilled on them.

I really do think that is legal grounds for grisly murder Paddy

I hope you gave him a piece of your mind

small children and the elderly would have to be taken away to another portion of the plane with the tirade I would have thrown at him

I take a book with me anywhere I go, too. I read at lunch, especially, and any other time I can carve out from my day. Once, I was waiting at the hospital while my dad was having an outpatient procedure, and I had brought my book for some reading-while-waiting time. Well, one of his friends showed up to wait with me. I mean, I appreciate that he has friends who are concerned about him, and all that, but I was perfectly happy by myself. Of course, I had to be the gracious daughter and interact with the friend, but I kept thinking about how I was missing out on my book. Fortunately, my dad had a good report, and friend left. That allowed me time to read until Dad was discharged home.

Oh GaR you picked the wrong bit of Europe, over in Germany (also Switzerland) we had the first days of summer this weekend, 20 degrees Celcius/Centigrade (one with the zero based on the freezing point of water, the other based on the triple point of water, don't ask me which is which). I could break out my skirts and t-shirts and sandals and go have a beer in the sun. Back to normal today though. Still good practice for my trip to Princeton/Connecticut/Austin next week.

Genny (aka Rusty):

Not to get all ethnocentric on your arse, but you've been in Ireland since late January, so that would be February, March, April which would amount to: Spring, one season (yes, the further north, spring starts early). How many seasons were you hoping to encounter in that time?

That's me right there, PaddyDog, although I don't force people to talk to me. I love reading but I am ridiculously prone to motion sickness. Five minutes with a book on a plane or bus and I have a screaming headache and feel like I'm gonna hurl. We're talking migraine territory, not something I want to do to myself. Believe me, I'd much rather read something than stare blankly at the seat in front of me, but I just can't :(

Paddy, I guess I was foolishly hoping it would move from chilly to... not exactly warm but nice somewhere around the middle of April. I don't need heat, but just mild temperatures and some sun appropriate for lounging on the grass and getting my daily dose of Vitamin D. Also, you have my sympathies for that plane story. That's terrible.

ChrisD, I was in Rome about a week after easter and it was 20C. It was fantastic. I'm going to Spain in three weeks and counting on getting in some more warm weather while there.

So in other words, Dustin, you too believe that À l'intérieur should have not only had a US theatrical release, but a damn big push by a distribution company to be the number one film in the country right now?

Nothing says hardass like stalking and preying on another woman in an effort to steal a fetus.

In fact, I feel Tina Fey and Amy Poehler should work to adapt À l'intérieur into a feature length American dark comedy, where Tina Fey chases Amy Poehler Shoot'Em Up style up and down the NBC sound stage trying to harvest a fetus that's actually just a really heavy lunch sitting the wrong way. Hilarious.

Genny (also Rusty):

There's a reason why the ancient Romans never colonized Ireland. There's also a reason why they called it Hibernia (which means Land of Winter). We don't really do sun. You can get Vitamin D from the milk which is some of the most nutritious in the world thanks to cows who graze on lush grass continuously moisturised by? Yes: rain.

Paddy, I have nothing but good things to say on the topic of Irish dairy products. They are fantastic.

s.piaster, I'm a motion sickness person too. It's usually me and my iPod on long trips of any kind. I can sometimes read on planes if they're very steady but at the first sign of turbulence I have to put it away. I've pretty much trained myself to just go to sleep.

OK, so I'm really late to the thread and probably no one will read this, but a tree falling in the woods still fucking falls. I totally agree with the "Baby Mama" bit. I think the major flaw with "Leatherheads" was that it was supposed to be like the old screwball comedies with Katherine Hepburn or Rosalind Russell, but we don't have those any more. I mean, I didn't think Renee Zelleweger was right for the part, but I couldn't think of any current actresses who could've done a better job being balsy, funny, and somewhat feminine. Dammit, Hollywood, I want my role models back.

Would it be unwise to go back on topic? Well, I think Lucy Liu as O-Ren was really bad ass.

As for a bad movie title that falls in with Dustin's genre, The C.S.A. (Confederate States of America)probably could have been worded a bit more to the point i.e., If the South Won.

Hot stature,sun glass, blond hair and red coat are all my style!! those tall women(even models) i hook up with were also in that style. still remember the tall dating place, to share with u guys: __Tallmingle.c om_ a place to start a beautiful romance and leave sweet memories!!

*still remember the tall dating place* would be quite a bad title, spambot. Sounds like a movie Anne Heche would agree to do, in which she would sit in a coffee shop and just talk about all her college conquests for 90 minutes.

"Appointment With Fear" is a really stupid title, but I like the movie. It's terrible, but it fits into the *so bad it's good* category. The director loved it so much he took his name off the picture.

"Hot stature,sun glass, blond hair and red coat are all my style!!"

I am a teenage Russian prostitute.

Hey....House, M.D. is a great place for anyone to make a stint! That show is brilliant!

Well, maybe not brilliant...maybe just...above-dim. But it was brilliantish once.

Actually, I just want to have sex with Greg House, I could really care less about the show. Still--great stint!

I just don't see why I should stare at my shoes when there's a Discworld to explore (for example).

Oh, joker...just when I was ready to write you off...you win back my heart. How could I hate a fellow Pratchett-lover?

"now I have your book hostage so we can talk"

Would you believe I've had that happen to me, too? She was lucky she was cute, otherwise I would have done more than just verbally abused her for the next fifteen minutes as she shriveled in her chair. Seriously...seriously...damnit...too full of rage to think of what I was thinking of...

By the way...you notice TK said number 374 of the list. It probably does number in the thousands...People who talk to me on the plane has the statistical probability of making him stabby on a daily basis...

Successful female-led movies: Chicago? Kill Bill? Mean Girls? Yeah, I know Gere was in Chicago and Carradine was in Kill Bill, but I don't think anyone watched those movies to see them.

RE made-for-Sci Fi movies: please stop watching them. You're just encouraging them to make more. They suck so very very much. They're not good bad. They're just bad.