Pajiba

No more remakes! Does anyone hear me? Hollywood? Godopus? Gene Siskel in the land of fallen movies? Anyone?

Sure this isn't Major League 4?

Well its got to be better than real baseball right. I mean, something might actually happen in the movie.

I'll say here what I said in my email to Dustin: This idea makes me want to run screaming down the streets of DC, tearing off my clothing as I go -- it's as if the conceptualization alone burns like napalm from the skies.

I LOVE Bull Durham. And yeah, it's all kinds of wonderful that Susan and Tim found true love on set. But WHY would Annie be married to Nuke in a sequel?! Kinda the whole point of the ending is that she and Crash ended up together as Nuke moved on. Is this some kind of elaborate ploy on the part of Kevin Costner to get some starlet tail? ARGH.

Fire up the MurderTank, 'jibans. Your country needs you.

Oh, and ditto on the 'few fond memories of Costner' sentiment. As Cher knows, you can't turn back time. Don't even try, Kevin.

(And the greatest sports movie of all time is clearly Hoosiers.)

This sequel is "long-awaited" in the same way that a salt bath is long-awaited for a burn victim.

If this movie gets made, I will kill people.

Also, I'll echo Lizzie's sentiment: Annie and Nuke got married? Bullshit. Fuck you and fuck your sister. Chances are that at some point, Nuke signed a huge contract and then shat the bed under its weight, a la every high-priced pitcher ever. And A-Rod.

Well its got to be better than real baseball right. I mean, something might actually happen in the movie.

Hey now, puckfucker! We're a patient, meditative nation but still manage to score more frequently!

At this point, if the studios are just going to go through the motions of lazily rehashing old ideas, why can't we just rehash our prior complaints?

Fuck this! I can't believe they are remaking [movie name], and they are having that douchenozzle [horrible director] direct this trash? Why keep pillaging [quality stand-alone or shitastic] movies? Somebody fire up the Murder[vehicle of choice]!

If this has a precocious kid in it I'm ordering airstrikes.

Jay,

Phillies - 3 Dodgers - 2

Leafs - 3 Redwings - 2
Sharks - 4 Ducks - 1
Canucks - 6 Flames - 0

At least in hockey there is something going on for more than 30 seconds of every ten minutes.

Ohhhh, cherry picking statistics, huh?? I'll bet you like basketball too! They're always running and scoring, back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth.....who's brilliant idea for entertainment was that?

I absolutely agree. Basketball is terrible to watch. Same applies to soccer and gold.

*Golf* - shit

funny thing i just noticed: on imdb there's actually a rating listed for West Germany

i wonder what kind of genius made that entry

I never saw Bull Durham, but I will fake outrage at this news, for I have no doubt that any potential sequel would ruin the magic of the original, shit on the (future-)grave of Kevin Costner, and urinate in the metaphorical mouth of the fine game of baseball itself.

Also, the best sports movie ever? No contest. BASEketball.

and dont act all uppity 'cause I had to look up that movie on imdb

I ALWAYS look up movies on imdb because otherwise I would NEVER know what the fuck you guys are talking about because over here they almost always change the title

By the way, it's Zac Efron, not Effron. Not that I've seen High School Musical or anything. Twice.

Jeebus, I must be psychic (and I just said I don't believe in that stuff). Swear to Godtopus that last week amid that barrage of stupid movie-recycled-into-TV show ideas, when I saw "Crash" I thought, "Series about a former minor-league baseball star managing the team in Visalia with his ex-groupie wife."

Jay, I'm on your side for a change, and I'd love it if that's how basketball games really played out, but it's more like this:

Back and forth and ... free throw, free throw ... back and ... TV timeout ... back and ... free throw free throw ... forth and back and ... players run into stands and beat up hecklers ... back and ... free throw, free throw ... TV timeout ... forth and ... standard timeout ... back and forth and back and ... star arrested for rape ... back and ... TV timeout ... back ... break for end of quarter.

Barr/Baseball '08

Are you there, Godtopus?

Oh, and best sports movie ever? Might be "The Sandlot."

Best Sports Movie - Rudy. He's not even in it to win, just to be there.

(I say this as an MSU alum, even)

The finest sports movie in history is Slap Shot. So you can all quit arguing.

Bull Durham is quite a wonderful movie, though. Sadly, Costner is probably deluded enough to get behind a sequel project...remember, he thought Mr. Brooks was a brilliant idea and blathered about sequels--sequels, plural...but no matter what they squeeze out, remember that they can't hurt the original.

I may be further cementing my place as the Pajiban Popular Apologist here, but as to that 'few fond memories... of Costner' comment - no love for JFK? Seriously, when I'm standing in front of my DVD collection and can't think of any specific movie I feel like watching, JFK goes on as default (well, that or Heat. Or Blade Runner.) Also, what about A Perfect World? Costner was good in that, I thought. Or Mr. Brooks? That was a good one, wasn't it?

Okay, here's my card. I'll just get my coat.

Besides, nothing's more halting than American football. That's why I like rugby.

I have no special attachment to "Bull Durham" as "The Untouchables" has always been the one Costner movie I really liked, but I still agree that there's little need for a sequel, especially since it's not going to leave me verklempt at the top of the Philadelphia steps with a small dog on December 23 with a bunch of other guys all shivering with emotion too. THAT validates revisiting a story.

"Wildcats"--what other sports movie has Nipsey Russell and peanut brittle? Yeah, I thought so.

And hockey?

Skate faceoff skate faceoff skate Where's the puck? skate faceoff skate faceoff fight skate Anybody seen the puck? skate faceoff skate fight Has anybody EVER seen the puck? skate faceoff skate faceoff Can somebody PLEASE tell me where the fucking puck is? skate faceoff skate fight faceoff Anybody? skate fight faceoff fight skate fight Do they really use a puck or is the game played entirely in mime? skate faceoff fight faceoff WHERE THE FUCK IS ... red light octopus looooong cleanup delay Aw, fuck, I missed the goal skate timeout skate game over fight fight fight.

"it's a whole other level of stupid to do a sequel of a 20-year-old film"

Fuck you, Rowles! Ghostbusters III is going to be GOLD!

Also, baseball, unlike the arcade game that the NHL has become (I still like Olympic Hockey), is about the savoring of huge moments and the strategy and the nerdery (it's a word!) of ridiculous statistics. I can't stand the fast-paced garbage junk food of basketball or NHL hockey, or the how-the-fuck-do-I-keep-track-of-all-those-fuckers-at-once overload of the NFL, but I love the anticipation of the big moments in baseball and the sense of knowing each individual player over the course of 162 games that baseball provides.

/ramble

Admin11 you make me miss Canada....my team is playing the Ducks this year but OF COURSE it's a home game for Montreal, so I don't even have the joy of seeing my beloved Habs here in sunny SoCal at Anaheim

sniff, sniff

bucdaddy hey just because you Americans need to have a freaking blue dot to see the puck does not mean nothing happens in hockey

it's a black puck on white ice people.....not that hard to spot!!!!!!!!!!!

Jay, ditto on football:

Huddle huddle huddle run ball move pigpile three feet huddle huddle huddle line up illegal procedure step off five yards huddle huddle huddle run ball move pigpile six feet huddle huddle huddle incomplete pass huddle huddle huddle punt fair catch looooong TV timeout huddle huddle huddle fumble lose ball change guys in pigpile huddle huddle huddle run ball move pigpile backward three feet huddle huddle huddle run ball move pigpile forward three feet huddle huddle huddle pass complete for 9.9 yards bring out chains instant replay review contesting spot of ball wait wait wait commercial break .......... wait wait wait "Upon further review" blah blah blah line up in field goal formation freeze-the-kicker timeout commercial break ............ line up in field goal formation penalty flag step off five yards backward miss field goal.

Has anybody EVER seen the puck? skate faceoff skate faceoff Can somebody PLEASE tell me where the fucking puck is? skate faceoff skate fight faceoff Anybody? skate fight faceoff fight skate fight Do they really use a puck or is the game played entirely in mime?

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Am I the only one who is reading all of these descriptions of sports as if they were sung along to "The End of The World as We Know It"?

Or is bucdaddy actually YOU, John Michael???? Everyone take off their Scooby Doo masks!!

Don't forget about the comet tail when somebody shot it SashaCA2. That was comedy gold.

Admin11 it's funny cause it's true....hehehehe

i was still living in Canada when they tried that ill advised experiment...we laughed and laughed

Okay, yes, Kevin Costner was also in The Untouchables . . . and Silverado. I also did like A Perfect World. But that's it for his body of work, really.

Can't decide which Costner flick you love most?
This guy says you shouldn't have to.

What in the hell? There are so many things wrong with this.
1) Quit making bullshit sequels and remakes. Just stop.
2) As a few other people have pointed out, Annie and Nuke are married? How in the hell would that even happen? What do they talk about? Does she psychoanalyze why he thinks young girls would be woolly?
3) Gahhh!

This is one of my favorite sports movies, I'm a sucker for sports movies. But nothing beats The Sandlot. Because, as we all know, the lingering over the word fo-RE-Ver by Squints is highly quotable and handy in real life. Seriously, I find ways to use it every day.

Am I the only one who is reading all of these descriptions of sports as if they were sung along to "The End of The World as We Know It"?

stipe42, that is awesome. And you've earwormed me, so congratulations.

What are they gonna do about Sarandon's tits?

Breasts shouldn't rest on your shins, I don't care who ya are.

Titty garters, like they used to use for socks.

Titanium holders?

what about bringing back the 80s Madonna cone boobs? keep them in place and there could be a funny sight gag about how they're so pointy Costner needs "special protection" which turns out to be....an umpire uniform!

Posted by: SashaCA2 at October 10, 2008 1:12 PM

I like where your head's at. Maybe he could even have "umpiry" catch phrases when her gigantic cones hit anything, like: FOUL BOOB! or NIPPLE ON BASE!

I've never understood the inability to follow hockey. Even if you can't see the puck, just look where everybody is headed. Hockey is a simple game. You really need far more knowledge to have any idea what is going on in (American) football.

All you freakish hockey haters had better watch yourselves, if you mock the game that godtopus has blessed you mock the great blue one-eyed one himself!
NFL - National Felons League - we're so weak we need 4 downs and a short field to play a game that people only tune in to see the ads for.
Baseball - the most effective cure for insomnia ever made. Who's on the juice? Who cares! Next channel!
Soccer - a bunch of nancies running around a field faking injuries. The fans are so bored they start coming up with chants and songs while they wait for a goal, or shot on goal.
Golf - it's what arthritic seniors watch when they're unable to take to the course themselves.
Rugby - structured violence designed to cover up a pervasive gay subtext. Not that there's anything wrong with that!
Lacrosse - almost, but not quite, hockey. Points for trying.
Basketball - Canada's gift to the USA. The players aren't even on the court for a full hour, and you only need to watch the last 3 minutes.
Hockey - the only sport worthy of adoration. Speed, grace, strength, finesse, violence, danger, and a much better, more coherent pace to the game rather than a 5-second spurt of action with 2 minutes before the next 5-second spurt. And did I mention sportsmanship? And a grueling 82-game regular-season schedule? It is the pinnacle of sport - why settle for anything less?

My lordhelment, please accept my oath of fealty. That was beautiful.

Admin11, you are welcome onboard MurderMaid anytime you like - name your position if you'd care to join the crew - I'd be honoured to have you!

Oh, and Slim? About the only thing that would help baseball is boobs. And/or cheerleaders.
Note to myself - football does have cheerleaders. Note to football fans - sadly, the cheerleaders are not the focus of the game. Fail.

lordhelmet: About the only thing that would help baseball is boobs.

Have you seen C.C. Sabathia? Tony Gwynn? Rich Garces? Hell, even Babe Ruth?

The average baseball game has more breathless heaving bosoms than a suicide bomber's heaven.

Good point stipe42, my fault for specifying that the baseball boobs NOT be masculine.

Rugby - structured violence designed to cover up a pervasive gay subtext. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

Why not go the whole hog?

http://www.jaynagyphoto.com/UGA%20Rugby%202.html

My lordhelmet if the position is still available, I would like to be Commander in Chief Beaver Shaving and Warming Division. It is a thankless job but one that is necessary. Those beavers are not going to shave themselves!

Jay
Nice.

Some are, some aren't, and you can't always tell. Still a hell of a lot more exciting than watching the Atlanta Falcons or Miami Dolphis choke a Super Bowl (twice).

What.......the.......fuck??????

There are so many things wrong with making a sequel to Bull Durham. In the first place, if they were going to do it, it's about 15 years past its shelf life. And in no universe would Annie and Nuke end up getting back together.

Here are a couple other movie sequels being planned that make just about as much sense:

1. Godfather 4 - A Voodoo priestess resurrects Michael, Sonny, Fredo and Moe Green and they take a cross country drive from New York to Las Vegas to see Barbra Streisand perform for the last time. Hijinks ensue as they are chased by the zombie Barzini and Chief McCluskey. Along the way, they pick up a kid (Shia Labeouf) and teach him Omerta and the way of La Cosa Nostra.

2. Smokey and the Bandit 4 - Bandit runs for Governor of Georgia against Buford T. Justice who for some reason is married to Sally Field's character, Frog. Hijinks ensue as Big Enis and Little Enis (Pat McCormick and Paul Williams) dress the same although one is 6'8" and the other is 5'2". Bandit learns he has a son (Shia Labeouf) who also has a knack for fast driving and fast living. Special appearance by Billy Ray Cyrus as a perverted father.

3. Citizen Kane 2- the Wrath of Kane - Charles Foster Kane (Shia Labeouf) rises from the dead to avenge the loss of Rosebud. He does this with Yellow Journalism and 250 pounds of dynamite.

4. Casablanca 2 - Beach Party - Rick (Shia Labeouf) and Louie (Christopher Mintz Plasse) hit Spring Break with $10,000 Francs and no rules!!!!!

5. Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull - the world is at a precipice, this time caused by the specter of nuclear annihilation, and Indy's struggle is once again to ensure that a precious, mysterious object remains safe from those bent on destroying humanity. And there's Aliens!!!!!! And he has a kid....played by Shia Labeouf.

You see, none of those movies make any fucking sense, as this new Bull Durham wouldn't either. It was a great sports movie and while it would be good to see the characters again, they are hinging it on a plot point that totally pisses on the ending of the first movie. For Christ's sake, people, let sleeping dogs lie.

Rubble44 You forgot Apocalypse Nower, in which Shia Lebeouf travels in a surreal journey up the Tigris on a pink hovercraft with the cast of the Hills. They arrive in Baghdad only to be confronted with the mad ravings in Latin of Colonel Jeb Kurtz (Martin Sheen). Featuring a soundtrack by Ludacris!

Rubble44, your post made me laugh out loud. I hope it gets in the top 10 this week.

Admin11, I hereby create the rank of Chief Beaver Shaver and Inspector, with the added duty of Thermal Regulator, and instill you as the first officer of this rank. Now go down to the MurderLounge and see meaux about your special free shot, and don't forget to kiss the ship's beaver. If that rank's too much of a mouthful we can always call you Inspector Beaver, or Chief Inspector (Beaver Division). On some of your downtime, however, you are expected to continue furthering the annexation and invasion plans as necessary.

lordhelmet I would officially like to petition for the post of Foreign Liason...duties to include importing Poutine for the expats south of the border and organizing monthly hockey games which is whisper all really just a cover for my efforts to bring about the glorious revolution

SashaCA2, done and done! Go report to meaux for drinking, hazing, and full initiation into the crew!

I cannot express how annoyed I am about the fact that they would even joke about making a sequel to Bull Durham. Clearly, Rubble44 did it in a more mesmerizing way that I could ever imagine, (short of flashing some boob at a baseball game, natch).

Being from the area and going to Durham Bulls games all the time as a kid that movie holds a very fond place in my heart. But the thing that may annoy me the most about this piece of shit is the fact that it looks like they're setting it in the majors. Part of the whole appeal of this movie was that it was minor league shenanigans.

I just... I just don't know any more.

However I would like to confirm that:
A.) Sandlot is THE BEST THING EVER. Not just movie, I'm talking about best thing in the world.
B.) I love baseball, but I can see why people don't like it.
C.) Hockey is amazing. Oh my God it's so cool. Aaaand a little hot. GO CANES!

And if you haven't seen at least 3 of the sports movies mentioned in this thread I have one message for you: You're killing me, Smalls.

First the DH and now a sequel to Bull Durham? Don't these yahoos realize that baseball - and great movies about baseball - is sacred?

And the best sports movie of all time is either Brian's Song or The Jericho Mile.

Alright Canucks if we weren't on the Department of Homeland Security's watch list we are now since we're recruiting. However I really think that this best sport debate has to be put to bed. So I'm just going to say what we've all been thinking. The best sport ever is:

PING-PONG.

I'm not even kidding. Don't you bastards dare laugh else I'll whip out the MurderPaddle and smack a bitch.

Thank you for the sentiment Lizzie, we'll just have to see what happens....

Kayanne, I did flash a boob at a game....didn't get the response you would. Actually was asked to leave. Worst T Ball game ever.

Kayanne, that's a cool name, is that like the Motley Crue song Kayanne, you know Kayanne...she's a stayanne....

And the Bull Durham circle is complete.

I'm a hockey fan, and partial to Slap Shot independent of that, but one movie does come close. The original Longest Yard. It's just a really good movie.

Thought Miracle was pretty well done as well. If you have to make a sports movie about a sport and a specific event (as opposed to using it as a tableau), that's how to do it.

P.S. Go Blues!

Kayanne, I did flash a boob at a game....didn't get the response you would. Actually was asked to leave. Worst T Ball game ever.

Rubble44 sounds like the BEST t-ball game ever. *wink* And reminds me of the South Park episode where Stan's dad's total agenda was to be the biggest ass at the little league game.

Are seven times divorced and remarried Jimmy and Millie gonna be in it? Will they smack each other with candlesticks? Will Millie rub a live chicken on Jimmy's (ahem) "bat" to put some hits into it?

No?

Then fuck it.

Hurling.

An Irish sport which combines rugby and lacross/baseball/hockey.
I.E. Rugby with large sticks.

Awesome shit. Crazy shit.

Second on the Go Blues! We won our first home opener since 1996!

From Wiki:

"The object of the game is for players to use a wooden axe-shaped stick called a hurley or hurl (in Irish a camán, pronounced "kam-awn") to hit a small ball called a sliotar (pronounced "shlit-er") between the opponents' goalposts either over the crossbar for one point, or under the crossbar into a net guarded by a goalkeeper for one goal, which is equivalent to three points.

The sliotar can be caught in the hand and carried for not more than three steps, struck in the air, or struck on the ground with the hurley. It can be kicked or slapped with an open hand (the hand pass) for short-range passing. A player who wants to carry the ball for more than three steps has to bounce or balance the sliotar on the end of the stick (this is often called "going solo"), and the ball can only be handled twice while in his possession."

See name link for a brilliant example of gay rugby.