I've Made A Huge Mistake
The Brothers Solomon / Agent Bedhead
Jon Favreau’s character in Swingers famously lamented his misguided belief about success in Hollywood: “When I lived in New York they made it sound like they were giving out sitcoms to stand-ups at the airport.” After watching The Brothers Solomon, I’m convinced that such comic relief should indeed be recruited at the airports, because 1) obviously, we have a shortage of good comics, and 2) if you get these guys when they’re vulnerable, breaking their spirits won’t be too difficult a task. While we’re at it, we should petition for a little screenwriting filter at studio security checkpoints, because for Will Forte to have actually brought this script to the screen, somebody indeed has made a huge mistake.
The Brothers Solomon is the story of two socially inept adult brothers, Dean (Forte) and John (Will Arnett), who get out into the dating world for the first time. Audiences will undoubtedly notice a few similarities to The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up, but The Brothers Solomon serves as an example of just how terrible this sort of film can turn out when not directed, written, or produced by Judd Apatow. Unlike Mr. Apatow’s use of absurdity within more realistic situations, Forte has slapped together an awkward backstory through which we learn that John and Dean were raised by their single father near the North Pole, where they obviously had no interaction with the opposite sex. Lee Majors (“The Six Million Dollar Man”) plays the father of John and Dean, and it seems rather unfortunate that this movie probably served as Majors’ hope of pumping a bit of life into his career, yet his character spends almost all of his onscreen time in a coma. The brothers learn that their father’s last wish is to gain a grandchild before he dies. This revelation prompts the brothers to go out into the world and impregnate someone — anyone — to fulfill their father’s desires, which leads to the limb-adorned snowball of a film.
Knocked Up owed much of its positive reception to its brutal honesty about sex, love, and all that crap that comes in between. Apatow performed a subtle critique on the inherent disagreements between what men and women want from each other versus what really happens in life (e.g., Debbie’s seemingly ideal yet ultimately disappointing marriage). In dealing with the consequences of their life-altering “accident,” Allison, and even moreso Ben, experience true growth of character. Apatow skillfully manages to send along a message that women are not merely tits, asses, and uteri, and he does so in a way that’s well-timed, rather amusing, and most importantly, respectful of his audience’s intelligence.
On the other hand, The Brothers Solomon only focuses on the ineptitude of Dean and John, who make the guys from A Night at the Roxbury look like motherfucking Rico Suave. When John pulls out a diamond ring and proposes on a first date, and Dean greets his date’s father by planting a kiss on his lips, the women run screaming. Similarly, John is arrested after following random women around a grocery store and then offering to pick up the tab. Obviously, no guy would attempt these feats of lameness, so it’s not even slightly amusing when none of their efforts to get laid actually result in copulation. Come On! The brothers are, so we’re told, good-hearted men, but they treat women like cardboard props and blowup dolls.
When John and Dean accept the fact that no woman will spread her legs for their seed, they look for a surrogate incubator on Craigslist. For $12,000, Janine (Kristen Wiig of “Saturday Night Live”) agrees to carry the coveted Solomon pregnancy to term, which doesn’t go over well with her ex-boyfriend, Angry Black Dude (Chi McBride). The rest of the plot involves Janine’s growing belly and the brother’s excitement as they fill diapers with “surprises” and practice their mad skills … as if they were capable of parenting a child. Obviously, any child raised by these freaks is going to be at a serious disadvantage, and no actual character growth ever comes out of the storyline.
The Brothers Solomon was directed by Bob Odenkirk (Let’s Go to Prison), which is of no actual consequence except that Arnett keeps making the mistake of appearing in Odenkirk’s films. Throughout this entire ordeal, I found myself begging for someone to splice in a magic show to the tune of “The Final Countdown.” Hell, even “Weekend Update” with Jimmy Fallon would have been better than watching Arnett gleefully toss his once promising career into the Diaper Genie. Fans of “Arrested Development” will recall that Arnett and his maniacal grin are capable of achieving critically acclaimed hilarity. He’s something of a budding character actor, and his performances as G.O.B. were believable and effortless. However, Arnett can’t give good character when faced with a script that totally sucks, which brings us back to Forte and the script he surely wrote while on drugs, and not the good kind either. Forte apparently developed these characters for a failed-sitcom plot, and for whatever reason, this materialized into a feature-length film written by the goddamn “Falconer.” Seriously, let’s just forget about Forte. It’s better that his films flop sooner rather than later, lest audiences have to suffer through his version of “Superstar” or “Corky Romano.” Even as part of the “SNL” repertoire, Forte’s very existence proves just how desperate for comedians we are these days.
Agent Bedhead (a.k.a. “Kimberly”) lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma and insults Pete Doherty daily at agentbedhead.com.
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Comments
I'm a "trailer checker" for Buena Vista Networks which means I get paid money I don't deserve to watch trailers and movies - the sorts of things I would typically do unemployed.
In any event, it always KILLS me to see what America laughs at and the shiteous films that I know will be sold out on opening night. This happens to be one of those, every time I check this trailer and the theater is filled with an uproar of absent-minded, formulaic laughter....I want to stand up and walk out (glaring of course at the crowd as I do).
Glad to hear this truly is an unworthy piece of shit. Although, Jobe is amazing, too bad Arnett couldn't have picked his roles more carefully.
Posted by: JJ at September 10, 2007 8:23 AM
No interest in seeing the movie, but I applaud your headline for the review. It's ridiculous that such a simple reference makes me laugh.
Posted by: Sean at September 10, 2007 8:58 AM
I had hoped against ALL hope that this movie, despite the evidence to the contrary from the trailers, would be good for Will Arnett's sake. The man was brilliant as G.O.B. Bluth and deserves a film career, but he seriously needs to fire his agent and/or learn to pick better scripts. I mean, Jesus!
And what happened to Bob Odenkirk? Was "Mr. Show" a fluke? COME ON!
Posted by: Armando at September 10, 2007 10:21 AM
I was going to say, "Hey, what happened to Will Arnett? He used to be great on ArrDev, why is he in exclusively shitty movies?"
And then I found out that Bob Odenkirk directed this. ::tears up::
Bob! Go find David and learn to be funny again! We miss you!
I'm going to cry myself to sleep tonight singing along to "I'm the hated milk machine..."
Posted by: Bucko at September 10, 2007 10:27 AM
What's with the GIANT Ann Coulter ad in the middle of the home page this morning? NOT how I wanted to be greeted on a Monday morning...
Posted by: Ernesto at September 10, 2007 10:35 AM
Alas, that, too, is Bob Odenkirk's fault.
Can we at least agree that he's better than Steve Oedekirk?
Posted by: Bucko at September 10, 2007 10:43 AM
"which leads to the limb-adorned snowball of a film"
Brilliant.
Gosh, maybe if they'd even given Will Arnett's character a Segway, it would have helped a little......
Posted by: Finn at September 10, 2007 10:52 AM
Ann Coulter scares me like a possessed scarecrow that is trying to steal my soul.
Thanks for the nightmares Pajiba.
Posted by: wsapnin at September 10, 2007 10:57 AM
I'm in agreement with the others... I think Pajiba made a huge mistake allowing Coulter to advertise on this site. *shudder*
Posted by: stacy at September 10, 2007 11:10 AM
It's amazing how much credit Will Arnett gets for one role. With "Let's Go To Prison" and now this, I've read (not on this site) so many reviews and comments that are shocked -- shocked!!! -- that this great comedic mind somehow fell into these bad roles.
Am I wrong or did he not have a great track record before "A.D."? It's like the so-called "Seinfeld curse": It's not like any of them had a string of successful sitcoms before "Seinfeld" that suddenly all fell apart after "Seinfeld". Then that would be a curse.
For the time being, it seems like Will Arnett was used the right way in the right role by writers and directors who knew how to use him.
Until he gives at least one more great performance, can we stop giving him so much credit?
Posted by: rob at September 10, 2007 11:33 AM
ummm.... JJ, how does one become a 'trailer checker'?
It sounds like the kind of job I'd like to have....
Posted by: helen at September 10, 2007 11:38 AM
Even though it looked unbelievably stupid, I also was hoping for Will Arnett's sake that it would be funny. I'm sad to hear that this wasn't the case. And he doesn't even look very hot in the movie so I can't go see it for that factor, either. I think he might be funny in Semi-Pro, where he's playing the announcer. That seems perfect for him. I can't remember what else is on his IMDB profile, but some of it does look funny.
Hopefully, this will just make him totally game when Mitch Hurwitz gets his shit together and makes the fucking Arrested Development movie.
As for Bob Odenkirk...is it possible that David Cross might be the funnier one? Dare I say it???
Posted by: Alex at September 10, 2007 2:04 PM
I vision of the future comes to me, and it's this- a running gag of stupid movies all featuring Will, all eviscerated on Pajiba with a the headline " I've Made A Huge Mistake: Lest We Forget." I want to cry.
Gob! Come back to us, Gob! I'm sure I've got a business model around here somewhere!
Posted by: that bees chick at September 10, 2007 3:46 PM
I have very little hope for the comedic future of America after, during the preview of 'Harold and Kumar 2' before 'Shoot 'Em Up,' all three people I was with expressed their desire to see 'Harold and Kumar 2' when it reached theatres.
That said, I will second what someone above said... damn, JJ where do I sign up for your job?!
Posted by: paquito at September 10, 2007 3:51 PM
Oh, Will Arnett! Why? Why? Why do you have no ability whatsoever to pick good movie scripts? I'd hoped against hope that this would be good, but alas.
Posted by: Toklas at September 10, 2007 6:17 PM
Until he gives at least one more great performance, can we stop giving him so much credit?
Agreed, Rob. Then again, perhaps I'm not the most qualified to agree, given that I thought Arrested Development as overrated as Will Arnett.
Posted by: Daphne at September 10, 2007 7:29 PM
JJ... JOBE, JOBE JJ. its G.O.B as in George Oscar Bluth. Proof read.
Posted by: Alex McQ at September 10, 2007 8:37 PM
I think Forte is actually one of the funnier, smarter members of the cast of SNL. It could be he just cracks me up, but I find his sketches like "The Falconer," "Fly High Duluth," "McGruber," and his recent spot on Flight of the Concords to be hilarious. I thought I should come to his defense is all.
Posted by: Frank at September 10, 2007 10:52 PM
"Agreed, Rob. Then again, perhaps I'm not the most qualified to agree, given that I thought Arrested Development as overrated as Will Arnett."
Wow, I don't even know if those words qualify as brave.
Posted by: Bucko at September 10, 2007 11:13 PM
Will Forte can totally be amusing. He was funny/sad/delusional guest starring on Flight of the Conchords
i have finally gotten all the white, brown-haired guys on SNL straight. Jason Sudeikis is the hottest, IMO
sumtimez i forget about bill hader
Posted by: Plobes at September 10, 2007 11:16 PM
Ouch. Will Forte (and Fred Armisen) has been the most original voice on SNL for some years. Some people just can't make the transition to movies.
But Will Arnett does make some terrible choices. And Bah Bodenkirk! Another guy that fails at movies! These guys need to learn to stick with what works for them: TV.
Posted by: Ryan at September 10, 2007 11:41 PM
Please tell me that Chi's character's name is really Angry Black Dude... please, please, please... it might be worth the $6/2 hours at the matinée just to see that on screen.
Posted by: ciji at September 11, 2007 12:57 AM
I wish Jenna Fischer would stop appearing in shitty comedies like this as well.
Posted by: Kevin Longrie at September 11, 2007 2:49 PM
I don't think it's fair to compare this movie to Knocked Up.
Nothing in this movie was supposed to be taken seriously, and that seemed fairly obvious from the opening credits. Yes, I know, there was no real substance...no direction...and probably it shouldn't have been made, but it was just supposed to be zany and weird, and probably would have done better as a short.
Posted by: Maggie at September 11, 2007 2:59 PM
I don't know, that "Are you ovulating?... I'm MAKING it my business." line was good for a chuckle and "Fly High Duluth" is up there as one THE classic SNL skits, I'll reserve judgment on this 'til I see it.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 11, 2007 7:18 PM
If they hand out sitcom deals in airports, they must give out internet movie reviewer gigs in airport bathrooms. Hey, dummy -- The Brothers Solomon is SUPPOSED to be inane. Not every movie coming out of Hollywood is going to show characters "experiencing growth," and not every film is going to be directed by Judd Apatow. Yes, he's great, but for God's sake can you critics at least allow for a variety of styles? If you enjoyed Airplane and The Jerk, ignore the simpleminded bile of all these bitter, frustrated hacks and check out Brothers Solomon. It's goddamn funny.
Posted by: Kraff at September 19, 2007 2:33 AM
