Pajiba

Dear Pajibans,

As many of you know, our comrade, AlabamaPink, is fighting the good fight against leukemia. She recently got some not-so-fabulous news and several of us have been sending her encouraging words and thoughts. (This is on top of the other fabulous things: gifts, donating to marathons, etc. that the Pajibans have been doing.) Anyway, I've been thinking that we could send these positive vibes in a, perhaps, more concerted way.

Here's my idea. And let me preface this by saying that, in general, I am not one of those mind-over-matter, New Age-y types, but this is an image I really love and think is perfectly Pajiba. I keep visualizing a miniaturized MurderTank, filled with Pajibans, careening through Ms. Pink's blood stream, blasting away at the cancer cells. (Tell me you can't also picture this.) Clearly there is room for the MurderMaid (that is the boat, right?) to be zipping along in there too (and was there also a discussion of a MurderSpaceShip at some point?). Perhaps we want to add a miniaturized Godtopus smiting the bad cells. You know, whatever works for you. And the WhiskeyBaby throwing Ninja Stars is a key component!

Oh, and AlabamaPink recently referred to herself as Wolverine on her blog, so I've added the image of Wolverine on top of the MurderTank wiping out cancer cells left and right.

Part of what I like about this idea is that any and all of us can participate. Another thing is that I feel like I am doing something--even though I am many miles away and have never even met Ms. Pink. It's a way of having a focused, positive vibe for someone who is a vital part of our community. And it's free! So, if this is something that you can get behind, I encourage you to periodically think of the MurderVehicles (and mini-Godtopus and the WhiskeyBaby) attacking that which is attacking our friend. I know that y'all are creative and will embellish the images in wonderful ways. So, thanks in advance for being part of this.

And while I have your attention, I just want to plug two more things you can do that are free. Donate blood--assuming you aren't too squeamish for it (and I totally respect you if you are). Find a blood drive, or some Red Crosses have donation centers, or your local hospital should have a blood bank. More blood available in general, means more blood available for 'Bama and others in similar situations. If you can find a place where you can donate platelets, that's also helpful. The other thing--again if you aren't too squeamish about it--is to sign up for the National Marrow Donor Program.

Especially if you are a person of color, they need you. Thanks for listening. And I hope you'll put those Pajibaminds to work with me.

Tamatha

Tamatha, what else can possibly be said. My donation will be this week as Red Cross comes in to my job site weekly and my last tattoo is now ruled ineligible! Seriously though, get well soon AlabamaPink, we're sending you all we can in the only way we can!

JR (and his new bride, who will become a 'Jiban or I'll die trying!)

I'd love to help kick some cancer cell ass.

My visions are headed your way Alabama Pink. Be strong.

That's an awesome idea tamatha - I am definitely hopping on board the MurderTank for Ms. Pink!

Here! Here! Tabatha. I already have a visual of that miniturized spaceship they shot into that sick guy's veins, and Raquel Welch with antibodies stuck allover her skin tight white wetsuit, and the guys trying to rip them off her. What was that movie?

And Dustin, Lucas is not gouging out peoples eyes. He's gouging out their wallets, which (for most people) is kept disturbing close to their no-no holes.

MurderTank.... ATTAAAAAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

The MurderDirigible is fueled and ready for takeoff.

Pink - stay positive, girl. You wll get through this. That fucking leukemia doesn't know who it's messing with.

tamatha, my bosom buddy, that is absolutely awesome. I'm right there with you, as chief booze officer on the MurderMaid, fighting with all my Pajibamind powers. Let us rally the troops!

Nothin' but love, 'Bama. Keep on keepin' on.

Also, DR?

"which amazingly puts him somewhere beneath Eli Roth on the horror movie maker food chain"

No one... I repeat, no one, is beneath Eli Roth. Eli Roth is the bottom. There can be nothing lower.

Ooh, congrats on the new bride, JR!

Fantastic Voyage!

MzPink--as I go on my powerwalk this morning I will squarsh cancer cells with each step.I'll send few good words upwards as well.

Stay strong, chica!

You say you found one soundtrack person who had 232 apprearances?

Dud: Elvis! 274.

Thank you MO(meaux)!

RWWAAAAARRR!! ME HUNGRY!!!! CANCER DELICIOUSS!!

RWAAAAAAAAARWRWRWRARWARWARAWRWAR!!

Thank you MO(meaux)! We just got back from 10 days broiling in the deep southern portion of the US (specifically Miami -> New Orleans -> Memphis -> Atlanta -> Jacksonville, yeah we drove 3200 miles), and I had NO idea that the weather back here in the Northeast was so mild and, dare I say, comfortable!

Sweet! A double post that still made sense!

Mozart: 414 soundtrack appearances... and counting. John Lennon: 212. Paul McCartney: 213.

Murder (Yellow) Submarine locked and loaded. Cancerous blue meanies, watch out.

Awesome writeup, Dustin...however...I absolutely love M.I.A., and her new CD is so much better than her first one. Tread lightly, Rowles, for thanks to elizabeth, I have your location marked as well.

AlabamaPink, as XO on the MurderMaid, I will personally see to it that we annihilate every last cancer cell within our grasp. That's just such an awesome idea, tamatha.
Go Pink!

(I have a feeling I can't yell that out loud without being heavily misunderstood)

ATTACK!

Don't worry, Ms. Pink. We're all ready to fight.

I'm donating blood this week (even though I have an irrational fear of needles!).

For the first time in recorded history, I will not see a Star Wars movie in the theater. I feel so...empty.

Since Mulder and Scully are back, we need to get them to find Leonard Betts to go suck all the cancer out of Alabama Pink.

"You have something I need." shudder

Refuah shlema v'mehira.

(may you have a complete and speedy recovery)

Get well Ms. Pink. This little atheist might not be able to pray, but dammit, I just spent the better part of 5 minutes imagining myself flanking unprepared cancer cells and beheading them en masse, alongside TK's zombie horde and talented character actor William Fichtner. Just doing my part.

... Ok, it's not like I don't get a kick out of it myself, but good thoughts are good thoughts. Hope to hear some good news about your treatment soon.

And my above post assumes that TK possesses a horde of microscopic zombies. If not, forgive my ignorance, but he seems to be the sort prepared for just such a need.

That would be dear Robert Alan Zimmerman with the 232 soundtrack appearances (more if you count the multiple appearances on shows and in movies). But you might have to take off every credited use of All Along the Watchtower, because it's generally Jimi Hendrix instead.

Sadly, poor George Ivan Morrison only has 87. There should always be more Van in the world.

We have MurderTank, MurderBoat, MurderDirigible, probably a spacehip, Godtopus knows what else. Excellent.... *rubs hands together in glee*

This brought a very definite image into my head.

International Murder!

Picture it: Sicily, 1935 Murder Island, South Seas.
The palm trees are going down.
The 'lake' is opening.
Pajibans have taken various tubes, chutes etc to land in their allotted places in the MurderVehicles.
MurderRocket is thrusting up towards the sky, rockets aflame.
MurderTank, MurderDirigible and all the others are sinmilarly deploying, ready for action.
And Gerry Anderson's magnificent 'Thunderbirds' theme is blasting out, speeding the pulse and strenghening the resolve to kill the Evil Hood Cancer Cells!

Well, it works for me... ;-)

Alabama - stay strong, we're all with you in spirit.

Best wishes, Ms. AlabamaPink. My sister-in-law is fighting cancer, so I have at least an inkling of what you're going through. Stay strong.

And isn't Pineapple Express a euphemism for shoving large and cumbersome objects up the rear? Because this flick sounds like the audiovisual equivalent of taking a spiny fruit where it patently isn't supposed to go.

They should remake Parasite! That was kind of awesome in its way, all bad of course. But the giant leach monster things did scare me a bit when I was 12.
And it had a very young Demi Moore, so they could replace her with Rumer Willis.

[takes out earrings...calls one of thirteen cousins]

Cousin #8: Hello?
jM: I'm fittin' to ride on a bitch.
Cousin #8: What? Didn't we just go through this at Caribou Coffee?
jM: I know, I know. But this bitch has it coming.
Cousin #8: Who is it?
jM: It's cancer.
Cousin #8: Cancer? Cancer, like that girl down the block whose whole family is named after zodiac signs or "cancer" cancer?
jM: "Cancer" CANCER!
Cousin #8: Don't yell at me like I'm the crazy one. This is your vision.
jM: Damn, even in my vision your annoying as hell. Could you stop being selfish for two min..
Cousin #8: Again, YOUR vision. Now, why are we riding on cancer?
jM: 'bama...
Cousin #8: Ms. Pink? But...she tore it's ass a new one last time? It's back?
jM: mmmmhmmm. They never said cancer was smart.
Cousin #8: So what's the plan? You know I'm in on this now.
jM: The MurderVehicles will fight on the front lines, kicking ass and taking names. Godtopus will be overhead screaming "BAAAAYYYYY!!!" while raining down acid ink and vaporizing those mofos.
Cousin #8: Why is he screaming Bay?
jM: Ugh, to work up a level of vitriol necessary to smite the cancer. Should I draw it out for you?
Cousin #8: You know you're talking to yourself, right? So...you're slow.
jM: I hate you so much. MEANWHILE, whiskeybabyninjastar will be drunkenly yet stealthily hiding in the shadows taking out the cancer that gets lost in the fray. I'll smuggle in a group of ravenous pandas that think cancer cells are bamboo and TK's zombie horde will take care of anything left with a pulse.
Cousin #8: So where do we come in?
jM: We all know cancer is a punk ass bitch. So when it inevitably tries to retreat, there we'll be, busting cancer heads.
Cousin #8: Hell yeah! That's what I'M talking about. Cancer better not have a weave, because that shit's getting pulled OUT. Then, we can curb stomp that bitch, steal it's sneakers, and throw them on the telephone line. OH! Oh! If there's anything left we can be like, "CANCER CELLS! Come out and plaaayaaaay.", like in The Warriors, only none of those mofos will be left standing.
jM: Sneakers? Just get the other cousins and don't forget the brass knuckles.

...So that's how my vision went. But we did wipe it all out. Even cancer's cousins. Stay strong AlabamaPink. My weird little thoughts and prayers are with you.

Already donated this summer AND I'm signed up for the Bone Marrow Registry. I doubt Ms.Pink will benefit from that though, due to my location and my super weird AB+ blood. I'll work on that visualizing thing.

Also: Ludwig van Beethoven - 298 soundtracks.

I'm not fit to pilot a large vehicle, seeing as I have the mechanical knowhow of a brain-damaged water snake, so I will be visualizing a miniature me nom-noming my way through cancer cells on my MurderSkates. They're equipped with tiny circular saws and are a darling shade of blue.

jM, you sound suspiciously like a few cousins I have. Do you have family here down south?

Need more help fighting the cancer. Try this:

http://www.cancergame.org/

THE CANCER GAME:
A side-scrolling, arcade-style,
cancer-fighting video game
By Yuko Oda and Dave Kristula

It's a trip to see what goes on in that psycho little brain of yours, jM.

Why am I suddenly seeing a hilarious cartoon scene with Julie tripping over her skates and bowling into the cancer cells, knocking em out like pins?

Oh, and SO weird, I looked up Bob Dylan and he ALSO has 232 entries. Damn it.

Kala is a pretty good CD.

J.S. Bach: 322

Stay strong, AlabamaPink.

I have NO idea Shadows. I am a graceful ballerina.

...on Quaaludes

...with an ear infection

...and uneven limbs.

GRACEFUL!

Oh, and SO weird, I looked up Bob Dylan and he ALSO has 232 entries. Damn it.

Bob Dylan = Robert Alan Zimmerman.

Ha! I never knew that :)

Trouble, I do have family down south. You're not one of them are you? Pajiba's mine. There can be only one!

Shadows, you have no idea.

I'd pay money for someone to make that cartoon happen. We can call it Julie's Law or Julie Jinx. It'll be about ordinary Philly girl who happens to set a preschool on fire or ends up in a full body cast (and other hijinks) while trying to make it through ordinary tasks like making a cup of coffee.

Hee! I would do something like that. If there's a slight shift in wind direction I fall down. Add alcohol to the mix and it's no wonder I wake up after a night of drinking covered in bruises. I look like a walking Rorshach test.

I'd pay money for someone to make that cartoon happen. We can call it Julie's Law or Julie Jinx. It'll be about ordinary Philly girl who happens to set a preschool on fire or ends up in a full body cast (and other hijinks) while trying to make it through ordinary tasks like making a cup of coffee.

Seconded. And we can have guest appearances by random Pajiba members, like ALPink and Li'l Pink (sporting ninja stars), a sweater vest-wearing TK, and...well...me, of course. I have to be the romantic interest who throws up his hands in despair and chuckles at the end of every episode.

Stay strong 'bama. Sounds like that's about all you can do (along with the ridiculous amounts of doctoring, of course).

Dustin: But it's always fun to whittle away a few hours searching.

Me: What the fuck are you talking about? Sounds like you're just trying to get us to do your dirty work for you.

I am, myself, a leukemia survivor, and I have to say that, along with the radiation, chemo and every other type of Western medical monstrosity they could get me to swallow or wash into my veins, visualization was a HUGE part of my cancer regimen. Every day for 2 hours, the nuns (what can I say, my Mother is devoutly Catholic) would have me meditate on a red army and and white army waging war for the possession of my body.

By the grace of the Godtopus, I have been in remission for over 20 years, and I think that the legions of red barbarians wielding flaming swords gets the credit in no small part. So you can bet I'll be sending them 'Bama's way.

Keep strong, girl! Even in the darkest hours of pain and drug-induced fog, there is hope. I'm here to tell you it's true!!

CLONE WARS! an anal lightsabering good time!!!

I look like a walking Rorshach test.

I don't believe in Rorshach tests. They always look like pandas. I don't see how that can tell you anything about someone.

The original MurderTank is prepped and ready to join the fleet after this morning's modifications:

• Whiskey Fountain has been drained and filled with cancer chum. Don't flip out, the whiskey's in a safe place. We're hoping that the cancer chum will lure any renegade cells out of hiding... P.S. Anybody missing a retainer? There was one stuck in the filtration system... I hope you're of age, whoever you are!

• The bar is fully stocked & ready to go. However, since this is a serious mission, drinks will not be served while on duty. At the end of your shift, knock yourself out. Aspirin's above the pisser...

• Even though you might be tempted to wear you're Pajiba shirt, please stick to regulation uniform. FeBreeze is provided for those who perspire heavily.

• The trench tool has been replaced with a large, electrified phallus. This is for cancer cell interrogation purposes only.

• Martin Short is onboard for comedic purposes only. Please refrain from talking to or feeding him.

• Fuel is now obsolete. This bitch runs on hate. So stock up. I'll need a crew of twelve - two gunners, bartender, second driver, chum-mixer, two electro-dong operators, four hard-hitting sonsabitches for captive cells, and someone to handle the tunes.

'Bama, I hope your insides are clearly labeled, as I failed Anatomy. It'd be embarrassing to get stuck in a lymph node or something because I can't figure out where the hell I am...

That's so incredible bibliophile, I'm glad to hear your internal army has managed to keep those bitches at bay (BAY!!).

I don't believe in Rorshach tests. They always look like pandas. I don't see how that can tell you anything about someone.

Ha ha ha ha!!!

"...to wear you're Pajiba..."

That's right. I'm awesome.

Love ya pink.

Guess what I'm wearing over my "business casual" button-down shirt. No, guess. No, guess. No, guess. Ow! Godtopus tee shirt bitches! And MurderTank is in reserve.

Tamatha I'm a person of color and on the registry. I'll be forwarding this to my other friends of color, and encouraging them to register, too.

awww man, this just ain't right....stay srong Pink! prayers/visions/blood are with you!!

Skittimus I've got enough hate to fuel the MurderTank for weeks of constant operation, sign me up.

Stay strong AlabamaPink.

Don't flip out, the whiskey's in a safe place.

Yeah, it's called my stomach!

Best of luck, Ms. Pink. I'll be manning the tunes on the MurderTank, playing healthy doses of Slayer to send those bastard cells running.

In my vision, i'm riding next to you guys on my pink murdertricycle. Throwing rocks. Kill 'em all.

I'd offer my assistance as bartender on the MurderTank as I make a mean cocktail, but I'll be manning the MurderSub. Tacos and margaritas to all crew members.

I call second gun. I've got hot aim, so go ahead and spray the cancer-chum, I'll pick'em off one by one. I also have extensive some experience operating an electro-dong.

Don't worry Skitt, I'm training to be a vet tech, so I definitely know my way around a dog...human's can't be too different, can they? Besides the freaky dog uterus that's about the size of a loaf of French Bread, more or less depending on the breed.

Anyway. Bah, Cancer!

Pajibans, what can I say? I love each and everyone of you to pieces. I knew that I could count on you. Or more accurately, that AlabamaPink could count on you.

I knew that you would jump on the MurderBandwagon to help Ms. Pink, and that you would be both fierce and fuckin' hilarious in the process. Ms Pink clearly needs both.

Consider yourselves embraced in one serious hug (and I don't want to hear any whining about being squished)--and no, those aren't tears in my eyes, it's just dusty over here--see I'm smiling a big, goofy smile. 'Bama, your hug is extra strong--I'd worry about crushing you, but you are Wolverine.

We take care of our own.

We take care of our own.

Here, here.

Stay strong Pink.
With the imaginations of these Pajibans that cancer will run away with it's tail between its legs, only to be obliterated by our masterful strategy as we will have surrounded them.

I would like to request a spot as a hard hitting sonofabitch for captive cells. I might have learned a thing or two from Jack Bauer back in my 24 days.

Bob Dylan, huh? My 5th search..

We take care of our own.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 18, 2008 3:24 PM

Sure as shit you guys do. Fucking A, everybody.

I don't know if this thread is being read anymore, but thanks a bazillion for all the well wishes, positive thoughts, prayers. Just being a legion of awesome friends.

Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. I never thought I could feel so fre-ee-eeee....

No. Kidding. Hardy har.

Believe it or not, I think all these positive vibes worked. I've felt great today, actually spending most of the day frolicking with Little Pink and some of his friends. My energy levels have been awesome. I might bake cookies.

I had a clinic visit this morning where they told me my blood counts are all normal. See, the leukemic cells are back but in relatively small numbers. Less than 5% of my marrow actually. Back in the day before more precise cell typing was available whenever such small amounts of blasts were detected in the marrow, doctors considered this remission.

So anyway, it's not good but not devastatingly bad. And shit, as long as I feel overall pretty healthy, I'm not complaining.

I've got a few decisions to make about my continuing treatment until my bone marrow transplant (which I think I've made already), but basically, it's another round of the nasty stuff and another stint in The Big House in about a week.

Yipee.

Tamatha what can I say that wouldn't sound goofy and hackney. Instead, I'll wrap my arms around my monitor and hope that in your heart you can feel my hug.

You guys rock. You're too cool for school. You're the bee knees. The cat's meow. The best bunch of invisible interwebby pals a girl could have.

I'm gonna go cry now.

And bake some cookies.

Pink, I'm visualizing as fast as I can. Get better soon!

Saw TDK this weekend,(yeah, I know, what took me so long?)and it rocked. Too bad I had to see it with a bunch of idiots who had to play with their cell phones for most of the movie. I told several clusters of teen-agers to be quiet and put the phone away. I know I was thought of as that bitchy old woman. Oh well,...I am.

That's so great, ALPink! That's teaching that cancer who's boss! We love you, girl, and we're all going on the rampage for you.

Guys, Operation Kick Cancer's Ass is a go!

AlabamaPink--Now I'm crying too. You know, the crying you do while smiling? Yeah, the good kind. How could I not feel that hug?

Ok Pajibans, this is not a one-time deal. Please keep it up!

Wanna hear something lame? Because of our location, my town periodically stops accepting blood donations because of storage issues. Like RIGHT NOW. And I don't know much about dinghies, but if you'd care to slap a 25 hp kicker on it, we could call it the MurderSkiff and I could help out with the navigation and whale spotting. Er... Cancerous cell spotting.

Pink, I don't even know you but right now I feel like we really are friends. :) I am still sending lots of positive thoughts your way, and I am still riding that cancer-hating MurderTank in my mind! So glad you are feeling a little better today - I hope things only get better from here. xo

I'm about to mail some cheek cells into the Canadian Blood Services for project OneMatch, for stem cells and marrow typing. I haven't given blood lately as they're never out here, but I'm looking to change that. So don't stop at blood, people, and you Canadians, if there's nothing stopping you, get in with the OneMatch and do a karmic solid for somebody. The marrow for a transplant has to come from somewhere, so step up and give in Pink's name!

MurderMaid is all fired up, here in low earth orbit. Picture a butch Statue of Liberty that has ditched the vacuum cleaner in favour of serious weaponry. All hands on deck, operation Cancer Blaster is a go!

(oh, and TK, it'd be nice if you'd let the WhiskeyBabyNinjaStar outta your basement, I know you love drinking baby's whiskey tears but this is a higher purpose.)

Awesome, I've never heard of OneMatch before; I just signed up now, and should get my spit-swab kit in about a week! Glad to know there's something I can (potentially) do, since donating blood seems to not agree with my system (oh, the irony...I've taken blood from scores of puffins without batting an eye, but a little needle in my vein knocks me out cold for some reason).

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is...a big ol' stupid pansy-ass.

Well then do the damn thing Ms. Pink. Sending positive vibes and happy thoughts from this lapsed Baptist. Godtupus ain't through with you yet. And neither is Pajiba.

And jM? I will see you at the family reunion.

Regards,
Cousin # 14

I will see you there, greer. Uh...actually...can I get a ride? I'll pay for gas(as long as it's only eight dollars and ten cents).

Damn! We must be kin.

How the hell does one ADD oneself to this Google Map?

Umm.. what kind of cookies?

Just wondering...

Good ol' Canadian Blood Services. They've got me on speed dial thanks to my rare blood type. I've just signed up for OneMatch too, lordhelmet. Thanks for the heads up about it!

A friend took me to Chinatown this past weekend for a "surprise." I was hoping it was going to be a mogwai, but it was just lunch at some restaurant.

AlabamaPink, when I truly achieve my mad scientist status, I plan to take over the world using specially trained, deadly Attack Duck Forces.
Since I'm only a going-mad scientist, the ducks were a bit bored. They were just sitting around, drinking beer and taking pot-shots at the satanic possums who want to take over my roof.
I told them about the cancer. They're assembling as we speak. Last I heard, they were negotiating a truce with the possums, who also want in.
Your cancer cells will not know what hit them (Which is, of course, all part of my plan - who expects to get their ass whipped by a duck?).

Late to the thread, as usual, but Godopus be with you, AlabamaPink. *Wagner blaring, a torrent of white blood cells cascading in for the kill*

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ons and technologies. Jamie Hyneman and I address at tutor conventions, we unexceptionally haul a thankful crowd. These schoolmistresss are so dedicated, but they possess predicament teaching for the standardized tests theyв??re fact with the budgets they are not fact.