Pajiba

1. "Untouchable Face" - Ani Difranco
2. "Black" - Pearl Jam (once sent to me on a post-break up mixed tape - ouch!)
3. "Pictures of You" - The Cure (ah, high school)
4. "The Old Apartment" - Barenaked Ladies
5. "No Man's Woman" - Sinead O'Connor

"Casual Conversations" by Supertramp, the last two lines of which seemed very relevant to me at the time: "Should feel sad, but I really believe that I'm glad."

and

"No Need To Argue" by the Cranberries.

I got two for ya:



1). The "Angry Feminist Chick breakup song: Tori Amos, Blood Roses (from Boys for Pele). Best line: "I shaved every place where you'd been, boy." Can't beat that for a "Fuck You!"



2). The "We got back together after a bad split" breakup song: Barenaked Ladies, Call and Answer (from Stunt). Best line: "I'm warning you, don't ever do the crazy messed-up things that you do - if you ever do, I promise you, I'll be there first to crucify you." Sad, and bitter, but ultimately hopeful. A good healing song, for those so inclined.



Ah, sweet (bittersweet) memories.

1. "High and Dry." Radiohead
2. "Train in Vain." The Clash
3. "With or Without You." U2
4. "Good." Better than Ezra
5. "Kreuzberg." Bloc Party (from my most recent break-up)

I'll play.

1. "Hallelujah," Rufus Wainwright version.

2. "What a Good Boy," Barenaked Ladies.

3. "Since You've Been Gone," Kelly Clarkson. Throw tomatoes, won't you? Hey, he was a dick and it was in heavy rotation on the radio that summer.

4. "Beth," KISS.

5. "Jackson," June Carter and Johnny Cash.

Hmmm. Okay.

1) Rilo Kiley-"The Good That Won't Come Out Of If" We used to dance to this all the time, which is ironic, given the line "It's such a big mistake lying here in your warm embrace"; and when we broke up a specific phrase my ex used was "nothing good can come out of it".

2) Star Wars Main Title theme. On our first date, he bought us both kazoos and we played this and the Imperial March in his car on the way to dinner.

3) Imogen Heap-"Goodnight and Go" It's a song about wishing that someone would stop leaving and just stay, so yeah.

4) Dashboard Confessional-"Saints and Sailors" It's not me, i've just dated too many Dasboard Confessional fans.

5) Barenaked Ladies-"The Old Apartment" Despite this band being a guilty pleasure of mine, this is the first song that comes on after any breakup, when I'm still in my most bitter phase.

1. Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison
2. What Went Wrong - Slackers
3. It's Your Love - Tim McGraw
4. Untouchable Face - Ani Difranco
5. Caught Out There - Kelis

1. "Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want" -The Smiths
2. "Why" - Annie Lennox (10 yrs later, this one still gets me)
3. "The Ex-Factor" - Lauryn Hill

Alice in Chains, 'Heaven Beside You'

and

No Doubt, 'Everything In Time'

The first of these wasn't for a real relationship, it was for a high school friendship/crush that ended. The second was real and painful.

Do What You Have to Do; Sarah McLachlan

Foolish Games; Jewel

You Oughta Know; Alanis Morisette

Two different breakups--same guy

In self-disgust and shame I share these:

1. The Association - Never My Love: Breakup 1988, after I wasn't her date to prom

2. Dire Straits - Romeo and Juliet: Breakup 1990 driving home from Aspen

3. 10CC - I'm Not In Love: Breakup 1992, after I came out

4. Cher - Believe (in life after love): Breakup 1998 with first boyfriend

GREAT timing, Dustin. I'm currently in the "hours following the split." As I'm completely crushed today, the only break-up song I can give you right now is:

"Wake Up Alone" by Amy Winehouse

I don't even know all the words, but that chorus alone...

These are from my post breakup running mix- heartbreak and anger can be quite motivating!

starkville- Indigo Girls

What About Love- Heart

Beacon Street- Nanci Griffith

Adelaide- Old 97s

I Want To Break Free- Queen

"Bad Time," The Jayhawks.

1) Oh, My Sweet Carolina - Ryan Adams (All of Heartbreaker, really)
2) I Will Survive - Cake
3) Nightswimming - REM
4) A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall - Bob Dylan (acoustic version)
5) Where Is My Mind - Pixies

Not sure if you want the background info or not but since your intention is to find out embarrassing details about us, in I shall jump. I was 18. A guy I liked and had been hanging around with asked me to our end-of-year dance (sort of like your prom). He was already late when he called to say his mother wouldn't give him the car but she would drop him off at my house and then we had to make our own way (12 miles into the city). When they arrived, it was just him at the door. My mother was expecting his mother at least to introduce herself, but instead she stayed in the car with the engine idling. So, my mother and I went out (in the rain) to say hello. We asked her in and her response was "Oh no thanks, this really doesn't look like a safe neighborhood to park the car." He said nothing. He didn't apologize all evening. When I finally got past my anger to ask him why his mother was so rude, he just said "drop it", and the song that was playing right at that moment? "Go Straight to Hell Boy", The Clash.

But if all you're asking for is the song that I have relied on for every adult break-up of my life?
"Must I Paint You a Picture" Billy Bragg

I've only had one lengthy relationship before my current boyfriend/fiance/life partner, but it did end in that crashing, tumultuous day-long grieving ceremony, only part of which involves latching on to a song. Lucky me, I just happened to be listening to Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle" that week, a song that I hear every other time I do groceries. It'll be three years this June since that relationship went down, so I guess it's a good thing I've finally become impervious to the power of Croce's whiskey-fueled, tear-inducing mumblings.

Oops. Obviously, you didn't want the back story (I was writing the above before anyone else posted), apologies to all you had to read my silly adolescent story. But the two songs I recommended still stand.

Go Straight to Hell Boy: The Clash

Must I Paint You a Picture: Billy Bragg

Author's Note -- Back stories are more than welcome, PaddyDog. It gives us some context.

Willie Nelson - "I Just Can't Let You Say Goodbye"

Elliot Smith- "Waltz #2"

Jolie Holland- "All the Morning Birds"

The Kinks- "Alcohol"

It would take way too long to construct a list of individual songs, so I'll cheat (a little) and name a whole album, which is Where It Goes by Lori Carson. It's just stuffed with smart, bittersweet, delicately delivered songs that feel better (and by better, of course, I mean worse) after a break-up.

Just seeing that others have posted 'Untouchable Face' by Ani Difranco is enough for me to picture the break-up surrounding it. Another one is 'Basement Apartment' by Sarah Harmer, for no other reason than it was on repeat after a particularly bad break-up.

Neko Case is perfect music for heartbreak:

* "Hold On, Hold On" (from Fox Confessor)* "Furnace Room Lullaby"
* "Running Out of Fools" (from Blacklisted)
* "Pretty Girls" (from Blacklisted)
* "If You Knew" (from Tigers Have Spoken)

She goes really well with whiskey too.

"Bittersweet Symphony" by the Verve Pipe. This is more of an instance of unrequited love. My best friend, whom I was desperately in love with, came out to me one summer...I spent the next few months in college listening to this song on repeat and wishing I had a penis. Or, you know, that he was straight.

First song that comes to mind - thankfully not the cause of any of my ended relationships:

AC/DC The Jack

Also, when a friend of mine ended his engagement he borrowed my copy of Mettallica's Black album and some other heavy metal CDs. Apparently the violent thrashing helped drown out the pain. He seems ok now, married, has a kid.

"Extraordinary Machine" & "Waltz (Better Than Fine)" by Fiona Apple.

The relationship had been over for a while before I heard that album, but those songs just made sense.

PaddyDog - your story made me so misty. It reminded me of the "I don't want you to see where I live!" line in "Pretty in Pink."

My songs:

1. Simon and Garfunkel "Kathy's Song" (heart broken by a guy I really liked in college)
2. Beastie Boys "Pass the Mic" (like a huge jackass I cheated on a great guy who I liked and respected - he loved this song)
3. Minutemen "Cheerleaders" (I cheated on guy #2 with a guy who loved this song - he was much, much cooler than I was)
4. The Cure "Same Deep Water as You" (high school boyfriend)
5. Elliot Smith "Sweet Adeline" (this song actually reminds me of getting over my biggest heartbreak, so it's more uplifting than sad)

Ok, this is an old cut, but I'd be lying if this song didn't speak the truth: "Break up to Make Up" by the Stylistics.

Someone mentioned "Ex-Factor" by Lauryn Hill. Another excellent choice.

1. Madonna "Crazy for You" - middle school break-ups were absurdly painful
2. Coldplay "In My Place" - not so much a break-up , more of an unrequited love situation, but still...ouch
3. Justin Timberlake "Cry Me a River"
4. Cake "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps"

i just called off my wedding and eight year relationship last week so every freaking song within earshot seems crushingly relevant.
but
mary j. blige with lauryn hill - "i used to love him"

ok...so it's been a decade plus since I had a bad break up but these songs can bring it all back to me in an instant:
Drive - The Cars
Trust Yourself - Blue Rodeo
I'm Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down - Paul Young

The Clarks - Penny On The Floor. gets me everytime.

Backstory...
First long term girlfriend...3 years. Age 16 til 19. She was 1 year younger. We broke up about 3 weeks before she started at U.D. I played the friendly, ex-BF, still hook up on occasion guy. Then...she made a sad attempt to bang my best friend. Don't care if he did or didn't get lucky...being in his presence the times she'd call his cellphone or page him (yes...we still had pagers then) and his responses like "Are you fucking serious?! You just dumped ****(name deleted) 2 months ago and the only that stops me from choking you is that you're a female."

Well...you don't try to sleep with best friends. Dunno if it was out of spite. So within the coming weeks I nailed her roommate (while she was asleep in the same room, 4 feet away) then nailed HER best friend...whom i was with for a little over a year and consider it one of my most enjoyable relationships...

But the day I told her (3 weeks after nailing the roomy) that Susan and I were seeing eachother she cried. I smiled and walked out. Got in my car and what was playing on YSP????

"Walk" - Pantera....enough fucking said.

Then the heartbreaker of breakups...an Ex moved to texas for a job...burned a CD with one song on it.

"Treasure" - The Cure

Now I will go cut myself to make the pain go away.
This diversion is fun. :)

"No Good Trying" - Syd Barrett

"Hospital"- The Modern Lovers

"Gardenhead-Leave Me Alone"- Neutral Milk Hotel

"Deep in the Woods"- the Birthday Party. With the lyrics: "Tonight we sleep in separate ditches."

I shouldn't over-think the fact that my songs were written by Jonathan Richman, Jeff Mangum, and Nick Cave-all crazies.

1. Song for the Dumped - Ben Folds 5
2. Goodnight Goodnight - Hot Hot Heat
3. I Used to Love Her - GnR
4. I Loathe You - Toy Dolls
5. Beer - Reel Big Fish

blog.meevee.com

"Song for the Dumped"- Ben Folds Five (the Japanese version too!)

"Dinner at Eight"-Rufus Wainwright (an elegy for love)

Amen on Ani DiFranco's "Untouchable Face." Really tender, bitter, touching and angry.

p.s. And don't forgeeeeet, to give me back my black T-Shirt.

"Ode to..." -Rachael Yamagata
"Black River" -Amos Lee
"Tragedy" -Brandi Carlile
"High and Dry" -Radiohead
"A Little Bit of Arson Never Hurt Anyone" -Matson Jones (this is my angry break up song)

1. (i hate) everything about you - three days grace
2. hole in the head - sugarbabes
3. crowing - toad the wet sprocket
4. waiting in vain - annie lennox
5. i hope you dance - lee ann womack

"Lost Cause"- Beck

Basically, the entire album of Fiona Apple's "When the Pawn." Also, Beck's entire "Seachange" album.

Both of those got me through the absolute most painful, heartbreaking break-up ever.

Tori Amos works well, too.

It's been over eight years since I've had a break-up so the only one that really comes to mind is a terribly lovely rendition of "You Won't Forget Me" by Shirley Horn. The lyrics couldn't have been more perfect:

"You won't forget me, though you may try
I'm part of your memories, too wonderful to die
And it will happen, that now and then
You'll fall to wondering if we shouldn't have tried again

You won't forget me, on nights like this
The moon will cast on you, the shadow of my kiss
No matter where you are, with whom you are
You'll think of me.
You won't forget me, just wait and see."

Absolutely perfect.

I'm sure that in high school I was reliant upon bad songs by Bon Jovi (Never Say Goodbye), New Kids on the Block, or other high-rotation songs that fit at the moment. However nothing specific comes to mind at the moment.

I've had my share of breakups... here's a few associated songs:

1)Moneen - No Better Way To Show Your Love Than A Set Of Broken Legs
2)Stars - Your Ex-Lover Is Dead
3)Coldplay - The Scientist

Usually the breakups were brutal but we ended up being friends. Maybe the songs helped.

1) Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett
2) Love Stinks - J. Geils Band
3) Bad Medicine - Bon Jovi
4) If You Want to Be Happy - Jimmy Soul
5) Everything About You - Ugly Kid Joe

"Fix You" by Coldplay - playing on the radio as I drove home from his place for the last time. Still makes me bawl.

Ok, I'll play:

"Maple Leaves" - Jens Lekman
"Woke Up New" - The Mountain Goats
"UnOrchestrated" - Hey Mercedes
"Walking To Do" - Ted Leo & The Pharmacists
"Your Hand In Mine (with strings)" - Explosions In the Sky
"8 Full Hours Of Sleep" - Against Me!
"Midnight Mile" - The Bouncing Souls
"Best In Shitty" - Grabass Charlestons
"The Unicorn Odyssey" - The Falcon

I've only had one really awful breakup. I was 19, he was 26, when we met, and fell in love. We moved in together and I thought we'd be together forever (cheesy, I know, but I can't care), I was that in love. Two years later, on Halloween, he came home and told me he "could no longer love me the way I deserved to be loved." Whatever that meant. I was completely devastated, my entire outlook on life was altered, and I was pretty empty inside for a long time afterward. Now, nearly ten years later, I can honestly say that I learned more from that experience than from anything else in life so far. Anyway, Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me" ripped my heart out each time I heard it back then, and still touches me deeply to this day.

1. I Can't Make You Love Me If You Don't - Bonnie Raitt
People have mixed feelings about this song, but it's pretty fucking relevant to a lot of breakups, and it was playing in the eerily empty Richmond Main Street train station we visisted just hours before I asked Him never to come see me again, out of sheer mercy for me and my poor little trampled for 6 + years heart.

2. She Sends Kisses - the wrens
The super-haunting music and lyrics to this one just really capture what it's like to be desperately heart-broken over someone living very far away.

3. Hey, Jupiter - Tori Amos
Summer of 1996; boy dumped me to go out with cookie-cutter sorority moron. Tori seemed to understand.

4. Do What You Gotta Do - Nina Simone
I did love him better than his own kin did, from the very start...

5. River - Joni Mitchell
If there's any way to avoid or post-pone a break-up until the Holiday Season is safely behind you, do it. You don't want to have to hear this song during that time. (Don't wait too long, though, the window of opportunity between x-mas season and Valentine's is pretty small).

My most recent break up was a serious relationship, that lasted over a year, with a girl who was more and more crazy, and who I was less and less attracted to, but stayed with out of inertia. The breakup song?
"There's no love for you girl(Go away)" by the white stripes. damn if there hasn't been a harsher breakup song. "I can't look at you in the face when we are talking, so it help to have a mirror in the room.

Jesus. Since I haven't been involved in a break-up since 1994 (!), my shit's a little dated. Instead, here are the best songs I can think of, if I were to break up with someone. Although my wife would probably stab me in the heart for even thinking about it.

1. Get Gone - Fiona Apple

2. Lover, You Should've Come Over - Jeff Buckley (more a dead lover song, but it works)

3. I Used To Love Her - Guns N' Roses

4. Panties In Your Purse - Drive By Truckers (God, I love this band)

5. Moonshiner - Uncle Tupelo

This is a fun one. I don't really have much experience in the breaking up department, partially because I'm awesome and anyone's a moron to break up with me (sarcasm, of course), and partially because I just don't date a lot and it's apparently damn near impossible to find decent guys--and girls, I'm sure--around my particular location, but...

1) Fallen for you--Sheila Nichols. Not really a break-up song, but an unrequited love song. Either way, a good song and I found it randomly on the High Fidelity soundtrack right when the movie came out.

2) Pennies--Smashing Pumpkins. A b-side. It's cheery sounding and all "fuck you" at the same time.

3) Selfless, Cold, and Composed--Ben Folds Five. One of their greatest songs ever and the whole "You just smiled like a bank teller, like you're telling me have a nice life" line just completely summed up this one guy I dated.

4) Split Screen Sadness--John Mayer. Summed up one of the few really serious relationships I had.

5) As You Are-Travis. Fran Healy does it best.

Oh, and one last one--Tymps (The sick in the head song) by Fiona Apple. For the guy who broke up with me and then somehow won me back. Told you I'm awesome. ;)

1. Never Tear Us Apart by INXS
2. The Freshmen by The Verve Pipe
3. One Headlight by the Wallflowers
4. All Cried Out from middle school years...don't remember who sang it but it was quite poignant...way back then.

Oh, this one is kind of embarrassing: "You and I Both" by Jason Mraz...but we were driving one night, and we sang along quietly because we both knew it was coming to an end but just couldn't talk about it anymore.

Hmm..."Pink Bullets", "Those to Come", "The Past and the Pending", and "Saint Simon" by The Shins.

And "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds.

Oh, and "Come Back to Camden" by Morrissey.

That's more than five, sorry...if it makes it better, it was all one break-up...

Oh, shit, one more, can't believe I left Jeff Buckley off this list--Lover, you should've come over. By far his masterpiece, and if you don't cry while listening to it, you're clearly not human. (The Jamie Cullum version is good too...and damnit, another good song, "Nothing I Do" from Jamie Cullum. Kind of Kurt Weil-inspired, turning lyrics from a nasty fight into a really poppy, uptempo song).

"All I Want" Toad the Wet Sprocket

I dated this guy in the late 90's and he only listened to hip hop, which I hated and he hated my Radiohead and whatnot (shouldhave seen those signs!), and we weirdly figured out that we both liked Toad the Wet Sprocket so we listened to Fear all the time.

"Glycerine" Bush

Same guy. It was playing when we broke up.

Such a good one, it's on repeat right now

"Love and Memories" - OAR

Knowing that Lucinda Williams devoted years of heartbreak and pain to creating Car Wheels on a Gravel Road was enough for it to be a source of soothing after my heart was stomped on a couple of times...

The best (breakup) song on the album is Metal Firecracker "all I ask/don't tell anybody the secrets/I told you"

1. No Woman No Cry - Bob Marley
2. I Don't Want To Spoil the Party-Beatles
3. Why - Annie Lennox
4. I Feel Shitty - Blind Melon
5. Me and Mr Jones - Amy Winehouse

sonya kitchell - 'let me go'
cat power - 'good woman'
beyonce - 'me myself and I' (a danced-up,celebratory remix)
jamie cullum - 'twentysomething'
psapp - 'tiger, my friend'

all the same guy. much older and still cheated on my fine, young ass.

Serial monogamies from the distant past with breakups contiuously scored by Barry Manilow! Yeah, freakin' Barely Manenough! How cheesy is that?

Weekend in New England (following one);
Mandy (his name was Randy, and so was he);
Copacabana (actually it was The Monster on Fire Island);
Could It Be Magic? (No, but the sex was great);
Tryin To Get That Feeling Again (Not that one; rather, the one where I moan Oh Baby,Yeah); and, finally,
Even Now (I cannot believe that I admitted to these pitiful breakup songs. Please delete last entry and preserve your deniability if not mine.)
Ready To Take a Chance Again (Or just get laid);

Out Of Line BY Buckcherry

I am me, and i wont change!! Take it or leave it,,

done

I've managed to avoid all the other Diversions; but this time, you got me:

1) First serious boyfriend: "Best Of My Love" by the Eagles. It's very country, but even after all these years it can still bring a tear to my eye--and I hate the Eagles.

2) First divorce: "One Step Up" by Bruce Springsteen. The husband was 100% good-riddance material but this is the song that made me weep over my failed marriage for many years after it was over.

3) First serious relationship after the divorce: "Sara" by (oh Jesus, forgive me) Jefferson Starship. They're a sucky band and this is a sucky song; but I'm being honest here.

BONUS: 4) Remarried, and happily, no plans to split up; but The Husband and I, during conversation, were surprised to learn that we both agree that "Heart-Shaped Box" by Nirvana is the very best ever song about the dark side of being a "nation of two" (thank you, Kurt Vonnegut).

1. Braille - Regina Spektor
2. Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright
3. The Freshmen - Verve Pipe

"Kite," by U2, which really isn't a breakup song, I don't think, but it's got the lines, "I want you to know that you don't need me any more," which was pretty appropriate because it was a pretty awful, drawn-out breakup of a two-and-a-half year relationship that spanned the end of college and our entrance into the real world. Sappy and sad, it made me lose my shit the day after the breakup as I was trying to eat my stir-fry. I stopped halfway through and went to bed at like seven thirty.

And then I entered the hateful rage stage.

After my first love got me to break up with myself (backstory: he sat with his head in his hands as I tried to guess what was wrong. When I got to "do you want to breakup with me?", he just nodded yes. Then got up all happy, gave me a deep kiss and walked out my door.) The song "Listen to your heart" by Roxette came on the radio. To this day (almost 17 years later) I can't hear the song without getting a sad/achy feeling.

Another not so tragic breakup came with an artsy guy I met in high school. Two songs will always be linked with him "What I am" by Eddie Brickell and The New Bohemians and "Welcome to the Jungle" Guns and Roses.

Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton

and for the most recent and heart wrenching breakup of my life

Scared - The tragically hip

Sidenote: it feels as if the Hip is completely ruined for me by this one person and song :(

Samantha T: Thanks for the sympathy: odd thing is, I didn't live in a ghetto or anything. She was just being a bitch.

Anyway, I forgot to add:
Don't Dream It's Over: Crowded House

Don't ever listen to this song unless you're completely over the guy/girl because it gives you false hope.

Also, based on this thread, does the average Pajiban (if there is such a thing) tend to go through painful break-ups but then lead quite a happy settled life? I'm seeing 8-10 year lasting relationships here which is quite an achievement for a group of scathing bitchy people.

Indigo Girls- Left Me a Fool. "i resign myself to silence/i will never blow your cover/no one ever has to know/who the hero took for lover

Fleetwood Mac- Silver Spring. "you'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you"

Ben Folds- You to Thank. "you/cant say/you've never had a doubt/and smoked it down/but really wanted out"

1. True Colors-Cyndi Lauper (It was middle school and he was my first "true love." I actually found out he broke up with me when my best friend asked if she could date him now...in the middle of band practice. Hey, everybody was in band in my middle school...memories *sigh*)
2. Deep Water-Jewel
3. What's Left of the Flag-Flogging Molly (Angry breakup anthem)
4. At this point in my life-Tracy Chapman (Tracy Chapman always makes me cry. There is just something about her voice that bleeds melancholy out of me.)
5. Winter-Bayside (This is the perfect song for lying on the floor and crying, no matter what the reason for the tears)

An easy one for me finally!!!

1. No Doubt- Sunday Morning ("Sappy pathetic little me/that was the girl I used to be") ok band, great lyrics
2. Fiona- Love Ridden, Paper Bag("I thought he was a man/but he was just a little boy")
3. GnR- You Ain't the First ("So look for me walkin/down your street at night/I'll be in with another/deep down inside..." yeah you get the picture)
4. And I third the nomination of Untouchable Face by Ani...

-Four years, one boy, one really bad time to walk in on him cheating on me (he later married the lovely lady...) all works out for the best!

Geetch, that's hilarious, because "The Luckiest" was my best friend's wedding dance. Not knowing the lyrics to the song, I am now tremendously confused.

1. Goddamn Lonely Love - Drive By Truckers
2. Trouble - Cat Stevens

my heart cinches just thinking about it...
*sigh*

i knew i was forgetting something.
paul simon - "50 ways to leave your lover"
and
ani difranco - "come away from it" to remind you of the dark dark times before the breakup.

Oddly enough, I have no songs that I associate with break-ups. There are a few that remind me of exes (Crododile Tears and the Velvet Cosh by David J makes me want to hunt down one particular asshole), but none that I associate with break-ups. I guess I never really listened to music after break-ups.

Now if you start a post about "Our Songs" (you know, songs couples consider to be 'their song'), then I might have some interesting stories. I might even tell you what my husband and I consider to be 'our song.' It's weird.

Breakups have become part of my monthly ritual, but I ended a 7 year relationship recently, and my god did it suck. I thought we'd get married, etc., then just fell out of love. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever had to come to terms with. So here's my list for that relationship:

1. Northern Lad, by Tori Amos.
"Girls you've got to know when it's time to turn the page. When you're only wet because of the rain."

2. Black Hair by Nick Cave.
"Today she took a train to the west."
(I actually have a tattoo of this lyric)

3. Grey by Ani DiFranco
"I smoke and I drink and every time I blink I have a tiny dream. But as bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem."

4. I've Been Loving You Too Long by Otis Redding
nuff said.

5. La Tortura by Shakira
"ay amor, me duele tonto. Fue una tortura perderte" (oh my love I hurt so much, it was a torture to lose you)

6. Jamaica Inn by Tori Amos
"He says she reminds him of me when we first met, in those early days. The sexiest thing is trust. I wake up to find the pirates have come..."

Okay, now I'm going to weep in my coffee and try to finish my summaries so I can graduate!

Lit's "Miserable" has been my break-up song for years, with a chorus that chronicles the steps of a relationship from budding puppy love to soul crushing split more succinctly than any other song I've encountered:

"You make me come. You make me complete. You make me completely miserable."

When I was 16, my first real girlfriend broke up with me and it nearly killed me. That first break-up is the worst, because you know, just know, in your heart that she was the one for you, that you'll never find anyone like her again, that your life is over. You feel that pain so much stronger at that age because it's not tempered by experience or age-earned wisdom.

The summer that followed was brutal, but Billy Joel's Cold Spring Harbor got me through it, particularly "Why, Judy, Why." That album will always hold a special place in my heart.

My next serious girlfriend, and truly my first love, came along about a year later. When we first started dating, we couldn't get away from "Same Old Lang Sine" by Dan Fogelberg. It was on the radio every time we turned it on, at the mall, drifting out of car windows. It inevitably became "our song." Of course, that was more than 15 years ago, and we've long since lost touch, but I still think of her every time I hear it (usually around Christmas time). Ironically, it's about running into a long-lost lover after many years and finding that you just don't have that much to talk about anymore....

Finally, there were the college break-ups, arising at the height of my CD addiction (and personal mix-taping renaissance). Remember when making a mix tape actually involved making a tape, complete with releasing the pause/record button at just the right time, hand-written song-titles and the eternal dilemma of what to do with the :26 of silence at the end of Side A? But anyway, I digress. To get through this batch of heart-rending break-ups, I made a tape called "Survival," Side A of which consisted of sad songs of lament and Side B focusing on bitter redemption. I offer, for your perusal, four of the bitter songs that helped heal me:

1. "Untouchable Face" by Ani DiFranco. The ultimate break up song, including, of course, the chorus:

so fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
and who am i
i bet you can't even tell me that much

2. "Porch" - Pearl Jam. Once again, it's all about the lyrics:

"What the fuck is this world
Running to, you didn't
Leave a message, at least
I coulda learned your voice one last time"

and

"I could not take a-just one day
I know when I would not ever touch you hold you
...feel you...in my arms...never again..."

3. "No Need to Argue" - the Cranberries. Pretty much the whole song:

"There's no need to argue anymore.
I gave all I could, but it left me so sore.
And the thing that makes me mad,
Is the one thing that I had,

I knew, I knew,
I'd lose you.
You'll always be special to me,
Special to me, to me.

And I remember all the things we once shared,
Watching T.V. movies on the living room armchair.
But they say it will work out fine.
Was it all a waste of time.

'Cause I knew, I knew,
I'd lose you.
You'll always be special to me,
Special to me, to me.

Will I forget in time, ah,
You said I was on your mind?
There's no need to argue,
No need to argue anymore.
There's no need to argue anymore."

4. "You Oughta Know" - Alanis Morissette.

'Nuf said.

Wow Nobody mentioned Sinead O'Connor? I thought that was standard pissed off music (along w/Ani DiFranco) I feel old..

1. "This is the last day of our aquaintence"- Sinead O'Connor

2. "Walk away" -Ben Harper (Oh no here comes that sun again. That means another day without you my friend...gut wrenching)

3. "Prove it"- Aretha Franklin (Prove that it won't bother me, to become your used to be..good stuff)

4. "I'm free" -Soup Dragons (if it's a good break up)

5. Add it up, Blister in the sun etc. -Violent Femmes (rock out, get drunk)

*Honorary mention- "Joe Lies" - from Say Anything

-Amanda

"Love Ridden" - Fiona Apple
"I Know" - Fiona Apple (kind of the whole When the Pawn...album)
"You Oughta Know" - Alanis
"End It on This" - No Doubt
"Rootless Tree" - Damien Rice
"Swans" - Unkle Bob

Unrequited and eventually long distance love-

The Breeders-Do You Love Me Now? (Safari CD single version)
Fugazi-Waiting Room-Not a breakup song, but the title is apropos of how I felt. Also, he introduced me to Fugazi so it reminds me of him.

I hardly post on these type of things, but damn this one felt relevant.

My first break up song was Alanis Morissette - You Oughta Know. The jerk cheated on me with the homecoming queen. However, know every time I see him he tries to hook up with me and I turn him down ever so politely. Sweet Justice.

Ahh now the rest of my break up songs that have revolved around the same guy for the last 4.5 years. I believe we actually had a two year period somewhere in there where we didn't break up once. I think we are on about our 8th break up. I know I know...it's unhealthy but from reading all these post I'm not the only crazy person who thought they were in love who has ever put up with it before. Granted I claim I'm seriously done this time....but anyways without further rambling....

1. Sometimes Love just Ain't enough

2. Are You Happy Now? - No Doubt

3. Goodbye my lover - James Blunt

4. She Hates Me - Puddle of Mudd

5. My immortal - Evanescence

Am I the only one tempted to burn a CD right now? I forgot how healing screaming and crying with the aid of music could be.

Can we count on another iMix on iTunes for this? I can bet we'd have some takers.
OH, and to add to my above list, Cake - Friend is a Four Letter Word.

Now I'm finished.

Top Five, some are repeats:

1. Billy Bragg, A New England
How can this possibly be overlooked? As heartbreaking as Must I Paint You A Picture is, nothing can beat the simplicity, urgency, and emotion of this song

2. Barenaked Ladies, Call and Answer
More post post breakup, when you realize you really care and want to reopen that door but can't figure out how anymore, regardless of whether you actually want to get back together... proves that Steve Page is a goddamned genius pegged as a novelty act, which makes it all the sadder

3. Stars, Your Ex-Lover is Dead
This will be the breakup song of my generation if they know what's good for them... gorgeously lush instrumentals and driving energy make it a good enough song even outside of a breakup, the he said/she said of the lyrics gets you every time, and the eternal sunshine copping music video just tops it off (see also- the postal service, nothing better.. not nearly as good, but amazing nonetheless)

4. Elvis Costello, Billiant Mistake
The most eloquent and classy expression of angst I've ever heard... "I wish that I could push a button, and talk in the past and not the present teanse, and watch this hurtin' feeling disappear, like it was common sense" really just says everything.

5. Wilco, Reservations
This list is severely lacking in Wilco love thus far and there's some great options, but this is the one song that has made me cry in equal measures in and out of a relationship, so i think it makes the cut

Runner Up: Eels, "Its a Motherfucker"... god bless E for just saying it like it is, seriously

I completely forgot about Ace of Base - Don't turn around. Granted that was one I used in Middle and High school...but damn I loved it.

I second the ITunes Mix :) So much easier then trying to track all these songs down now and burning a CD or playlist on the IPOD.

I am going through a break up right now and for some reason the songs that seem to get me most are:

1. What if you? Joshua Radin
2. The Weakness in Me. Joan Armatrading
3. Tennessee. The Wreckers (go ahead and laugh)
4. Arms of a Woman. Amos Lee
5. Trouble. Ray LaMontagne

ok 2 more for us oldsters:
You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When Ya Go Bob Dylan
Tangled up in blue ditto

Sonnet - The Verve.

You Hurt Me - Marla Glen.

Choux Pastry Heart - Corinne Bailey Rae.

No Buses - Arctic Monkeys.

Pink Squares - I Was A Cub Scout.

"Losing a Whole Year" - Third Eye Blind

What can I say? I was 19, angry, and into shitty bands.

Okay, I already posted, but really, this is kind of my specialty in life. Here are some more:

"Will You Miss me When I Burn?" Bonnie Prince Billy

"Hate" Cat Power

"Tear in your Hand" Tori Amos

"The Darker Days of Me and Him" PJ harvey

"A Case of You" Jonie Mitchell

"La Cienega Just Smiled" Ryan Adams

"For the Sake of the Song" Townes Van Zandt

"Us" Regina Spektor

"Crown of Love" Arcade Fire

"Enid" and "Break Your Heart" the Barenaked Ladies

"Grand Canyon" The Magnetic Fields

"These Living Arms" The Tea Party

"Little Drop of Poison" Tom Waits

"One Spring Morning" Akon/Family

"Thunder Road" Bruce Springsteen (I know, but come on!)

"Crash and Burn" Sheryl Crow

"Sick of Me" Ani DiFranco

"It Serves You Right to Suffer" John Lee Hooker

"Dia Luna, Dia Pena" Manu Chao

Seriously, all of these songs have been put to good use recently.

Dont think twice - Bob Dylan

It aint me babe - Bob Dylan

Sarah McLachlan - Stupid

I was clinically depressed and my life was falling apart; he was emotionally manipulative and cheating on me.

"Time in a Bottle", Jim Croce - I don't even have to be ending a relationship for this song to make me depressed and lonesome.

"Gravel Pit" - Wu Tang Clan.

Ok, so "Gravel Pit", I know. I was in a weird did-we-just-break-up-no?-yes? period and I was sitting in front of a tv with my (unknown to me then but future husband) when we saw this video for the first time. I was so depressed and this song's video was so fucking crazy. We both commented on it, and our sarcasm brought us together.

1. The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most - Dashboard Confessional
2. You've Got Her In Your Pocket - The White Stripes
3. Between the Bars - Elliott Smith
4. King Caesar - Head Automatica
5. This Modern Love - Bloc Party

Much like blueflynyc's list, all these songs revolve around the same person and our multiple break ups over a number of years. Man that boy makes me bananas and, apparently, emo.

These are songs from a man who was dumped by the same person twice in two depressing ways. The first time, Your Song by Elton John was playing on the radio. No lie.
So feast my totally depressing break up songs.

1. You Oughta Know by Alanis Morrisette.

Such a kick ass feminist anthem that somehow made a guy like me can relate to. I love reciting parts of the song in my head going "And are you thinking of me when you FUCK HIM?!"(It's really Her)

2. Smile by Lily Allen.

This also describes are break up to a T. Just thinking about it makes me want to break out and sing a bunch of la la la la's. Okay, two girl songs that make me feel better about myself, I promise I'm not that pathetic.

3. I Will Survive by Cake.

Amazing how they can turn a woman's disco anthem into a hard hitting song for the men!
"At first I was Afraid, I was petrified. Kept Thinking I could never live w/out you by my side. But Then I spent so many nights just thinking how you done me wrong, and I grew strong and I learned how to get along..." Just pure genius.

4. My Girlfriend who Lives in Canada from Avenue Q

It was nice to listen to a song about a guy who is really in the closet and how he's trying to safe guard his gayness by singing about his girlfriend. I'm mostly glad I'm not that pathetic.
"Her Name is Alberta,
She Lives in Vancouver,
She Cooks like my mother
and Sucks like a Hoover!"

5. Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson.

I totally win the prize for the most girl brake up songs. But hey, this song really is stupid, but was fun to mosh to at my friends parties.

This is just a huge case of schadenfreude, I know. Now you know what a guy like me does to heal his break up.

"Pictures of You" The Cure -- First High School boyfriend, oversensitive, artistic, many years later turned out to be gay. I remember feeling vaguely embarrassed that he put this song on.

"If Wishes were Changes" Nanci Griffith -- I was leaving for college, and he was staying there. It was time to go, and no regrets, but after he dropped me off that night I crawled in bed with my mom and cried.

"Anna Begins" Counting Crows -- End of an 8 year relationship that started in college and ended in Central Park. That song was in and out of the entire eight years. Still tugs some strings and makes me smile because it carried me from puppy love through adult pain.

Now I'm happily married and I'll never have another break-up!

OK, more than 5 (including some very embarassing ones), but this topic is fabulous...
"I'd Die Without You" PM Dawn
"You Oughta Know" Alanis
"Don't Speak" No Doubt
"Silver Spring" Fleetwood Mac
"How's It Gonna Be" Third Eye Blind
"I Can't Make You Love Me" Bonnie Raitt
"Anytime" Brian McKnight
"Ex Factor" Lauryn Hill
"There You'll Be" Faith Hill
"Get Gone" and "Criminal" Fiona Apple
"Black" Pearl Jam
"Break Your Heart" and "What a Good Boy" BNL
"Please Remember Me" Tim McGraw
"Do What You Have to Do" Sarah McLachlan

its a wonderful life- Sparklehorse

"The Sweater Song" by Weezer. It was "our song" because it was on the radio when we decided we wanted a song. It works better for a breakup anyway. I usually change the station when it is on because it is too emotionally invasive. (high school)

"You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morisette. It was a perfect song my feelings of betrayl and kept me pissed off instead of sad. Man, was that bitch angry! (College)

"Under the Thumb" by Amy Studt. I was in London, so British pop was appropriate. (Beyond)

This is gonna be bad:

Don't Treat Me Bad - Firehouse
Yeah, that was high school. For some reason it was "our song" so it made it even worse. Now I just cringe that I thought the song was good.

Sick Cycle Carousel - Lifehouse
I was in a particularly messed up place and could not stop making the same mistakes. I still think about her with this one.

Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something, Sidewinder Sleeps - REM
The first because it was her favorite movie, the 2nd because that song came out when everything was the best between us.

Kiss From a Rose - Seal
I change the channel when this one comes on.

This is How You Remind Me - Nickelback
I identified with all the lyrics but mostly because of the line "it must have been so bad, cuz livin' with me must have damn near killed you"

That's enough dredging for now. I've been with the same girl for the last 4 years but this was still depressing. Thanks Dustin! ;-)

Just finished making two complimentary mixes, an a-side "angry/bitter break-up" and b-side "angsty/emo". Top five from the two would be in no particular order:
Angry
1. Atmosphere "Fuck You Lucy"
2. Wilco "I am Trying to Break Your Heart"
3. Jet "Cold Hard Bitch"

Angsty
1. Counting Crows "Raining in Baltimore"
2. Bright Eyes "Landlocked Blues"

1) Tear In My Beer--Hank Williams (drunk stage)
2) Cocaine Blues--Johnny Cash (anger stage)
3) 3rd Planet--Modest Mouse (i-still-love-you stage)
4) Svefn-g-englar--Sigur Rós (god-this-totally-sucks stage)
5) Hey Jude--The Beatles (getting-over-it-finally stage)

Just got broken up with a week ago, pretty crushed by it. Don't have any specific songs, but I've been listening to a ton of Elliott Smith, Bright Eyes, and Jawbreaker.

Boots are Made for Walking - Nancy Sinatra

I was 15 and dating an incredibly sweet, wonderful guy who I loved like crazy, but had absolutely no chemistry with. One night he and a bunch of other people backed out of a group outing, and I ended up alone with the new guy for the evening. He kissed me so well I almost passed out, and when I broke up with my boyfriend, he gave me a mix tape he'd made for me, and the first song on is was "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel.

I couldn't hear that song without crying for years, I felt so guilty. What finally redeemed it for me was the night my now-husband and I were in a crowded car, and when "In Your Eyes" came on the radio, he reached back and silently squeezed my hand. He'd noticed that I always cried when I heard it, and wanted to comfort me.

There's a happy ending for the guy who made the tape, too...He's now happily married with 5 kids!

Hey - sometimes the breakup is a good thing, particularly when they start the process and you get the last laugh:

1. I'm Still Standing - Elton John
2. Already Gone - The Eagles
3. I Don't Care Anymore - Phil Collins
4. Another Girl - The Beatles
5. You're Breakin' My Heart - Nilsson (sometimes, you just have to stand up and say "Fuck You", ya know?)

You can get over anyone if you get in your car, put these on the stereo, crank up the sound, and blast them all the way down the highway.

And an extra one...
6. I'm Doing Fine Now (Without You, Baby) - The Pasadenas

Although it will reveal my status as the oldest living Pajiba reader EVER, I'll play. I LIKE this game!

"Bell Bottom Blues"-Derek and The Dominoes. Much solace to be found in this song's lyrics after my first "true love" left me back in 1973. (Janie, I still think about you sometimes. In a good way.)

"Congratulations"-Paul Simon. It's from his first solo album; bitter and bittersweet. It eased many a breakup.

"Ain't My Cross To Bear"-The Allman Brothers Band. The perfect song for those breakups that (for once) weren't your fault. Gregg Allman's roaring vocals and the powerful, bluesy music are perfect for knocking back beers and telling yourself just how much she's gonna miss you when you're gone... even though she won't.

"You're Breaking My Heart"-Harry Nilsson. Caustic, hilarious and so very unlike his usual stuff. How can you go wrong by doing a "break up" mix tape that starts off with "You're breakin' my heart/You're tearin' it apart/So, Fuck You"? Crude, yet effective... and I never regretted it once.

"Please Don't Make Me Cry"-UB40. From "Labour Of Love", this has one of the most mournful sax solos I've ever heard. The long-running soundtrack for The Most Painful Break-Up Ever.

Next!

The only ones I still remember are for the same girl:

1) Whenever you breathe out, I breathe in (Positive Negative)---Modest Mouse

2) Elevator love song---Stars

As for the others, well, I have a good memory---I can go all "Eternal sunshine" without the brain-zapping.

in the absence of sun: duncan sheik - for the sad part

black cadillacs: modest mouse - for the mad part

Good Taste

1. Beck - Lost Cause
2. Wilco - We're Just Friends
3. Radiohead - (Nice Dream)
4. Rufus Wainwright - Dinner at Eight
5. Fiona Apple - Love Ridden

Bad Taste

1. Dido - See You When You're Forty
2. Snow Patrol - You Could Be Happy
3. Coldplay - Warning Sign
4. Jack Johnson - Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
5. Annie Lenox - No More I Love Yous

The girl that got away will be forever and inextricably linked to Tom Petty's "You Don't Know How It Feels." Man, what a great song that just gets me going every damn time I hear it now.

Even though I've since discovered most people do in fact know it feels... to be meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I also spent a week listening to "Young Pilgrims" by The Shins after a different breakup. Such a touching song, that still has an air of hope. That's really what you need after getting dumped.

Left and Leaving - The Weakerthans for these lines:
"Memory will rust and erode into lists of all that you gave me: a blanket, some matches, this pain in my chest. The best parts of lonely. Duct Tape and soldered wires, new words for old desires, and every birthday card I threw away."

These Days - Nico for this line: "I had a lover, I don't think I'll risk another these days..."

em, damn skippy Fran Healy does it best! I'm going to go with "Luv" by Travis. oh so sad.

"Break Your Heart" by Barenaked Ladies. I know it's been said, but it's really lovely.

"Dissolved Girl" by Massive Attack. not so much about breaking up, but it reminds me of breaking up with someone in particular. "passion's overrated anyway"

"I Am Trying To Break Your Heart" by Wilco. exactly what the title implies.

"Sorry But It's Over" by Dredg. for those who enjoy a little angst with their heartbreak.

"Love Steals Us From Loneliness" by Idlewild. what a bunch of bullshit, huh?

I might be in the minority here, but I've never had a break up so bad that any songs that might be somehow linked to it are now off limits to me. and I don't hear any of these songs and get depressed, I just kind of think, "oh yeah, that one guy and I listened to this song one night." I just don't get that emotionally invested in relationships. or, I should say, I haven't yet. and it has served me well to be an ice queen.

I just remembered a good one: "If It's Not With You" by Phoenix.

"ten years gone" by led zeppelin

it's more a "you'll be okay" song than a breakup song, but when i was 16 and the guy i thought i was in love with told me he'd met someone else, that song seemed like it was written just for me.

also, a side note. i saw some people listed "the old apartment" by the barenaked ladies. if you listen to the lyrics, it's not a break up song. the singer talks about how the couple bought a house and she loves him and her body keeps him warm. it's really a sweet song about being nostalgic for another time.

I'm French so two of my choices will not be very interesting for the Pajibans, but I'll play:

First boyfriend, 3 weeks, 14 years old, completely humiliating (isn't everything at 14?): Michel Polnareff Le bal des Lazes.

Second boyfriend,2 years from 15 to 17: Serge Gainsbourg "Je suis venu te dire que je m'en vais" (I've come to tell you I'm leaving, with a woman sobbing in the background, nice)

Current boyfriend, 4 years and counting, but 2years ago told me he would never be in love with me, so..."Wonderwall" Oasis.

My songs are all lame and mainstream - I guess my taste in movies is a lot cooler than my sad taste in music...

Days Like That - Sugar Jones (A heinous manufactured Canadian girl group...*shudder*)

Nobody Wants to be Lonely - Christina Aguilera & RICKY MARTIN!!! I used to drive to work and cry everytime this song came on (which was a lot as it had just come out)

Mr. Brightside - The Killers (I was bitter and I liked to think of that ex hearing the "He takes off her dress now/let me go/and I just can't look/it's killing me/and taking control" line and imagining me)

La Tortura - Shakira, we used to listen to it in his truck...

Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson, everything about that song was so relevant after the break up, and it happened to be on high rotation

You wanted embarrassing songs and I think I delivered!!

oooooo... let's see:

your ex-lover is dead - stars (*so*good*)

both sides now - joni mitchell (a requisite listening for crying in the bathtub)

international small arms traffic blues - mountain goats (best line ever: 'there is a a shortage in the blood supply/but there is no shortage of blood')

our hell (emily haines)

Oh lordie, I seem to remember quite a few "AIR SUPPLY" tunes that said Exactly what i was feeling. Hey, ya fall hard when ya are in highshool, and well, it WAS the early 80's.

In my 20's I preferred more along the lines of Fear's "FU** YOU"

And in my 30's I turned to the blues for weeks and weeks on end to ease the pain.

Haha, Bullfrog, I can see why you would be confused. "The Luckiest" is a guy telling a girl how all the mistakes he's made in his life have brought him to her, and how they're fated to be together, just like an old couple who died peacefully a few days apart because they didn't want to live without each other; he packs a lot into one song. But the reason it's my break-up song is because it has always felt like a letter written to me and my ex...we got together under such strange circumstances that we never could believe it was random, except that those same circumstances were the reason we couldn't stay together; it should have lasted longer than it did, and even though it's been almost three years, it still hurts. And that's my therapy for the week.

1. Bob Dylan -- "Positively 4th Street" for the last one I broke up with. I played this one for a couple of weeks and, of course, felt like it was written with the guy in mind.

2. Tom Petty -- "Even the Losers" for the high school one.

3.Sleater-Kinney -- "Burn, Don't Freeze" for the other high school one.

4.Ben Folds -- "Smoke" another one that felt like it was written with the former "us" in mind

5. Poe -- "Control" eh, what can I say?

First serious GF and I broke up after dating for around 3 years and there was one CD that I listened to for about a week straight. "It'll End in Tears" by This Mortal Coil. 7 years later and I still can't hear the track "Song to the Siren" without getting visibly upset.

Black Hair by Nick Cave.
"Today she took a train to the west."
(I actually have a tattoo of this lyric)

That's one hell of a tatoo

ooof, embarrassing coming right up:

Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel (Shut up. I was 13. And it was 1994, so I had no excuse, but never mind that.)

The Weakness in Me - Joan Armatrading
Not sure why this one made/makes me feel sad and heartbroken instead of guilty -- it perfectly describes the situation I was in, except I was the person tempting the narrator away from their old love. I listened to it obsessively while failing to get what I wanted, though, so maybe that's it.

Pale September - Fiona Apple.
I can't even remember why I associate this song so strongly with the boy I loved when I was 16, but I think of him every time I hear it.

1- Antidote by Pain

Oh fun.

1- Sympathetic Character- Alanis Morissette

2- Northern Star- Hole

3- X.Y.U.- Smashing Pumpkins

4- Dying- Hole

5- Could I Leave You?- Original Broadway Cast of Follies (Alexis Smith)

Sara: I love Serge Gainsbourg, especially that song (I just came to tell you that I'm leaving". Jarvis Cocker does an amazing cover version of it. Also check out Brian Molko's cover of Gainsbourg's "Requiem for a Jerk".

EmotiveinTransit: I agree that Billy Bragg's New England is a great song, but it's such a happy song for me because he wrote it about wanting to get rid of Margaret Thatcher so although technically a break-up song, it just has such positive associations for me. Die Thatcher, Die!

Totally cliche, but "Never There" by Cake. What can I say, it spoke to me! Plus, the bastard totally wrecked U2 for me--it took about a year before I could start listening to any U2 song without wanting to crawl under a rock. Now, if only I can start listening to Muse again without feeling sad...

Have You Seen My Love -- Barenaked Ladies
First Day of My Life -- Bright Eyes
I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You -- Colin Hay
Samson -- Regina Spektor
My Antonia -- Emmylou Harris

My most recent breakup is really the first after which I have turned to music. As you all can probably tell, it wasn't so much an angry split but rather a "what happened here?" breakup. Geezum crow. I suppose the wounds are still fresh. Six years is a long time.

One Step Closer - Linkin Park
Black - Pearl Jam
Nothing Else Matters - Metallica
Right Here - Staind
Bitches Ain't Shit - Snoop and Dre

Backstory, in brief: Long-distance relationship. I was in the car with friends, radio played "I will always love you," and I started bawling and I had no idea why.

Next day, hand to God, I got a letter from him saying he didn't think we should stay in touch anymore.

I hate that song.

I can break down my break up songs from my last relationship into two groups: those that I listened to ad nauseum for weeks after the break up,and those that I find hard to listen to because they remind me of that relationship's end.

1)Bring it on Home to Me: Etta James & Otis Redding.

2)If I Can't Have You: again, Etta James. I went on a total blues bend for those few weeks. And you'd be right if you guessed that I was the dumpee in that relationship, just judging by those two songs.

3)I'm Comin' Home: Cinderella. No, I'm not hair band freak. But he was. And he loved that song, so I now associate it with him. I can't even listen to it, I turn it off when I have the misfortune of stumbling upon it.

4)Bed of Roses: Bon Jovi.Same thing as Cinderella. Except it reminds me of a specific night that I would like to forget.

5)Sweet Jane: Velvet Underground. This is a special case here. On our first date, I discovered that we shared the same favourite song, and this was it. Although he liked a different version (Mott the Hoople). When we broke up, I was pissed, because I was afraid that he had forever ruined my favourite song for me. Luckily I have moved past that, and can enjoy the song again, but I still always think of him when I hear it.

TK, props for mentioning Moonshiner, the UT version is the saddest song in the world.

Mine is kind of old, on account of I've been married a long time so haven't broken up recently. But nothing, nothing, beats an obscure Australian song called "Street of Early Sorrows" by Paul Kelly. I was sixteen, he was seventeen, I still can't drive through that neighborhood without thinking of that song, and that night.

Ha, you want embarassing and cliche? Try being 19 and in college in a small midwestern town when Third Eye Blind's "How's it Gonna Be?" came out. I bought the cd maxi-single (remember those?) and that song will forever be linked to my first love.

On a less embarassing note, I couldn't listen to Bob Dylan for almost two years after the break-up finally took. Particularly "It Ain't Me, Babe." He played guitar and we saw Bob together.

And whoever said Fleetwood Mac's "Silver Springs" is completely right. I have to write the lines for anyone who doesn't know the song:

Time cast a spell on you
But you won't forget me
I know I could have loved you
But you would not let me
I'll follow you down
til the sound of my voice will haunt you
You'll never get away from the sound
Of the woman that loves you

The live version from The Dance is AMAZING. During the time Stevie is singing that song, she's still in love with Lindsey. Watching her perform it and the way she looks at him...it's impossible not to mourn your own lost love.

1. "Song for the Dumped" - Ben Folds Five

2. "Radio" - Alkaline Trio

3. "Someday You Will Be Loved" - Deathcab for Cutie (check out the awesome stop motion video on YouTube)

4. "No Children" - The Mountain Goats

5. "Answering Machine" - Matt Nathanson

Bonus song: "You Are Everything" - The Low Life

These cover a wide range or breakups: me breaking up with them, me getting broken up with, me convincing myself to stay broken up with someone, me being broken up with and wanting them back...

1. "Tell Me I Was Dreaming" by Travis Tritt (first heartbreak in 9th grade--nothing like a sad country song to make you even more miserable)

2. "Raining in Baltimore" by Counting Crows (I listen to this when I want to wallow in bad memories, but it's still one of my favorites)

3. "Let Him Fly" by Dixie Chicks (not the only artist to sing this, but this version gave me the courage to say goodbye and stick to my guns)

4. "Your Winter" by Sister Hazel (a guy played this for me after a breakup. I think it's in a movie as a breakup song, too)

5. "Hang" by MB20 (he played this when we said goodbye. we both cried).

I don't know if she and I on the same wavelength or what, but every time Fiona Apple has released a CD I've just broken up with someone (and apparently she has too). So that pretty much makes her entire catalog my break-up soundtrack. Some other highlights (or lowlights, as the case may be):

"The Prettiest Thing" Norah Jones
"Train in Vain" The Clash
"Sour Girl" STP
"Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometimes" Beck
"Set Out Running" Neko Case

This theme fits in perfectly with my cloudy, rain-speckled day. Here are my embarassing breakup songs:
1. "Long Day", Matchbox 20--This song was a huge part of this high school pain-wracked pseudorelationship.
2. "Don't Speak", No Doubt--I know this one's totally cliche, but in this case, my ex-fiance showed up after almost a year apart (he was in the Air Force) to introduce me to his pregnant girlfriend.
3. "Comfortable",John Mayer--after I decided that it was really, really, for reals this time, over with my five year on-again-off-again guy.
4. "Cut Here", The Cure--after a tumultuous three and a half year, let's-just-be-friends-now relationship (we don't talk anymore).
5. "I Saw the Sign", Ace of Base--this is a funny one. I'd been rebounding with this jerk-off, and I suddenly realized that I was wasting my time. I got in the car and drove away. This song was playing when I started the car, and it was perfection.
6. "Parting Gift", Fiona Apple--this is for the breakup that hasn't happened yet.

Oh, and to top it off, the last time my most recent ex and I had sex, we had it to the entire Ziggy Stardust CD. Less than a week later our relationship blew up in the most godawful way. It took two months before I could listen to "Starman" without crying my eyes out.

Dammit - Blink 182
Leaves and Kings - Josh Ritter
There's A Fine, Fine Line - Avenue Q Soundtrack
How Do I live - Trisha Yearwood

All these for one girl. A tough one, but that's almost 10 years in the past now.

And one more - from a different girl - for good measure:

In The Car - Barenaked Ladies ... Ah, youth...

1.I'm Going To Find Another You - John Mayer (actually, most of the Continuum album I find is good for this, but I found that this one stands out the most)
2. Telephone Line - ELO (Who hasn't done this?)
3. Simple Kind Of Life - No Doubt
4. What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts
5. November Rain - Guns 'n Roses

Has anyone else noticed that some guy must have really pissed off Kelly Clarkson, because she has a lot of breaking up songs on her albums.

Ooooh, good one.

1. Ben Folds Five--Song for the Dumped

2. The Clarks--Better off Without You

"Late at night you pick up the telephone
Call me up and cry 'cause you're all alone
I don't care
Apologize for taking my cigarettes
Now it's time to feel all the side effects
Missing the life you had"

3. Ani Difranco--Untouchable Face
4. Fiona Apple--Parting Gift
5.Third Eye Blind--Motorcycle Drive By

Runner Ups: Brand New- The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot
Reel Big Fish--Where have you been? (I remember liking it a lot in HS, haven't listened to it since...)

Ooo fun.

I haven't had a break up in years but oddly listened to an album recently that made me remember a particularly bad one. It was the soundtrack to Magnolia by Aimee Mann. I saw the movie with the guy and it's a very sad album and even though I'm all happy now it still left me feeling melancholy.

And, I must give a shout out to those who mentioned Stars (Elevator Love Song and Your Ex-Lover is Dead) and especially the Weakerthans Left and Leaving. If I was to break up again (not likely!) I would listen to those songs over and over and over...

Some are breakups and some are just emotionally-sad-moment songs.

1. Only a Dream by EYC (I was 13, in my defense).
2. Congratulations by Blue October.
3. We Might As Well Be Strangers by Keane.
4. Rain by Erase the Grey.

I can't listen to the first one without feeling ridiculously childish and yet remorseful, bleh.

paddydog...
haven't even finished reading the posts, but i wanted you to know i just had my 22nd anniversary. and that's just the married part.

i think i'm a bit older than most of you, because i recognize few of the songs, and evern fewer bands!

i remember my first break-up in 9th grade it was oddly "radar love", and can't even remember the band! another was by STARBUCK, then still a local atlanta band... they played my junior prom. "moonlight feels right", and they played "strange magic" (again, con't remember who recorded it", but it was always the one that got to me after THAT break-up.

see? told you i was old!!!

First serious relationship, with fits, starts, fumbles, stumbles, and finally an end. Best songs for the apoplexy of it all:

1. Love Will Break Us Apart Again, Joy Division (a friend described this record "like a cold hand in the dark"; pretty apt).

Next three move from confusion to anger, sometimes in the same song:

2. All This and Nothing, Psychedelic Furs (an absolute gem of a song, perhaps the best the Furs ever recorded, as Richard Butler goes through the inventory of what remains -- "you didn't leave me anything / that I can understand"; starts with a bright acoustic strum and ends in an explosive electric crunch)

3. All Apologies, Nirvana (the boys blow the effing doors off by the coda)

4. I Don't Care About You, Fear (mentioned earlier; one of the first "f*ck you" lyrics I caught on vinyl; not written about a breakup, but captures the lingering spite).

5. Last is the alcohol-dulled but much more poignant reservior of years-later regret, perhaps about a lover, but I like to picture it's a daughter left behind in the relationship:

Sadly Beautiful, The Replacements.

Oh, I'd forgotten about how Lauryn Hill's x-factor has simultaneously destroyed me and sustained me after a wicked college break up.
"It could all be so simple but you'd rather make it hard.
Loving you is like a battle and we both end up with scars...
no one loves you more than me
and no one ever will"

And during the last truly horrible one I listened to Jimmy Eat World non-stop, specifically A Sunday.
"On a Sunday I'll think it through.
On the drive back I'll think it through.
What you wish for won't come true.
Live with that."

Here it goes:

1) Amber -311 (he was a big 311 fan, and he broke up with me because he loved our mutual friend Amber, who was also a diehard 311 fan. Needless to say, I can't really listen to 311 again)
2) Goodbye to You--Michelle Branch. A song for a different boyfriend, and the only cd around my house at the time was Michelle Branch. I can't listen to it anymore because I still associate Michelle Branch with that boy.
3)Lovefool--The Cardigans. Same boy from #2. He told me this song reminded him of me.
4)A Plain Morning--Dashboard Confessional. Wow, Boy #2 tainted a lot of songs for me.

Some others:
Stellar--Incubus (such a shame--I really liked this song), Screaming Infidelities--Dashboard Confessional, Colorblind---Counting Crows, and pretty much the entire Spiderman 2 soundtrack (Boy from #1 took me to see that and we listened to the soundtrack all summer).

Have any of guys figured out a way to love a breakup song again?
Some of these songs were my favorites until they got tied to my ex-boyfriends. I know that the taintedness of these songs are in my head, but it's really hard to disassociate them from bad breakups.

1. Put a candle in the window (CCR)
2. And it stoned me (Van Morrison)
3. Smoke gets in your eyes (the Platters)
4. Angel from Montgomery (Bonnie Raitt/John Prine version)
5. Bring it on home to me (Sam Cooke)

The lyrics to this one are the killer:
If you ever change your mind
About leaving, leavin me behind
Bring it to me, bring your sweet lovin
Bring it on home to me
...
I know I laughed When you left
But now I know I only hurt myself
But I'll forgive you if you bring it to me
Bring your sweet lovin, bring it on home to me

No apologies for being maudlin, cornball, or unfashionable. These are breakup songs, no points for style.

1. Joey - Concrete Blonde
2. Love Will Come to You - Indigo Girls
3. I Know Him So Well - Chess [concept album]
4. Nobody's on Nobody's Side - "
5. You'll See - Madonna

1. Gone Away Roberta Flack
2. The Roof Mariah Carey
3. We Belong together Mariah Carey
4.Kiss Me Deadly Lita Ford To get me back in the mood.
5. Someday Mariah Carey

Perfect Day - Lou Reed

After the break up I listened to it on repeat for hours and just sobbed my eyes out.

I thought of some more (all Boy 2's fault):

1) So Long Sweet Summer -- Taking Back Sunday
2) Flake --Jack Johnson
3) Blinded --Third Eye Blind
4) B-13 --Jump Little Children
5)The Remedy---Jason Mraz
6) Iris--Goo Goo Dolls

But as much as it sucks to be reminded by these songs that I went through some miserable breakups, I'm really glad that I'm not with either of those jerks anymore. I've been in a great relationship with a wonderful guy for the past 2 years, and sometimes these songs remind me of how far I've come and how better things are now.

In no particular order

1.) Fall Back Down, Rancid
2.) Rearviewmirror, Pearl Jam
3.) Add It Up, Violent Femmes
4.) King of Fools, Social Distortion
5.) Tracks of My Tears, Smokey Robinson and the Miracles

High School:

"Careless Whisper" George Michael/Wham
- oddly enough I suspected the boy was gay.
This was never confirmed, however. He did
really like Wham, and Prince and Boy George
and Duran Duran. You decide. Either way that greasy little curly mulleted shit was cheating.

"No One is To Blame" Howard Jones. Still high school but working through it. Listen to it. It's kind of sad. And I'm really old.

College: "On Bended Knee" by Boys to Men. "Can we go back to the days our love was strong? Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong?" ...sniff. I have allergies.

Post Graduate: "Limp" by Fiona Apple. Feeling kinda used.

And "Good Enough" by Sarah McLaughlan. Feeling kinda abused.

- Dusty Springfield / You Don't Have to Say You Love Me (Actually lots of Dusty goes on rotation after a breakup.)
- The Smiths / Last Night I Dreamt that Somebody Loved Me
- Heart / Alone
- Depeche Mode / Love Thieves

Fortunately, I've never been dumped, so I don't really have any angry, angsty songs. I do feel terrible about the dumping I've done, however, and after my boyfriend before my current one moved out, there are still a couple of songs I can't listen to. These aren't "break-up songs" in that I listened to them over and over afterwards...they're breakup songs because I've had to break up with them as well. I can never again listen to:

We Never Change-Coldplay. He used to sing this to me when I would wake up with nightmares so I would calm down.

Banana Pancakes-Jack Johnson. He would pick me up and sing this when we were cleaning the house.

Dazed and Confused-Led Zeppelin. This was the song we always had playing when we were exhausted after sex.

Damn you Pajiba, I didn't think I missed this guy! I guess I just miss the memories of these songs. I've been with this current boyfriend for over a year now and things are wonderful. We're moving 700 miles away from everything we know in a couple of months and I'm very excited. Still, you just made me all weepy.

OK, these are not all necessarily literally about break-ups, but they are the songs that I listened to a lot after specific breakups.

1. REM: "Everybody Hurts" - I also came down with mono a couple days after that break-up so I really wanted to know I was not alone in the hurting

2. Pearl Jam: "Alive"

3. The Cranberries - "Linger"

4. Sarah McLachlan: the entire Fumbling Toward Ecstasy CD

5. The Reality Bites soundtrack

I didn't date much in high school and I got married in '99 so my songs are all stuck in the 90's when I was in college.

I actually won a contest sponsored by my local paper (Anchorage, Alaska) for this very same thing eight years ago, but I guess I've been too happy since, becasue it's more of a stretch for me now. One song that I would credit for "letting the healing begin" after THE ANGRY TOXIC BREAKUP THAT I THOUGHT I WOULD NOT SURVIVE was "Shotgun Down the Avalanche" by Shawn Colvin. My ex included it on a post-breakup mix tape, which he mailed to me from his new home a continent away from where we had lived together. I popped it into my walkman right away and went for a walk. As I walked I grew angrier and angrier, as most of the songs reminded me of times we had shared and just seemed like more examples of his monumental insensitivity. But when this gorgeous, haunting, relentless song came on, I just got it, finally--why he had left me, and why I should forgive him and move on. That song still grabs me 13 years later, and still makes me thankful to Colvin for lending my ex eloquence and leading me to understanding.

This is so weird because just yesterday, I was thinking about the cd I made for my boyfriend when I broke up with him (waaaay cheesetastic I know but what can I say, the only way I deal with things is through music so I figured he should too). Here's what I put on

1. Jealous Guy (Elliott Smith Cover)

2. See You Soon (acoustic) by Coldplay

3. All Apologies by Nirvana

4. Times Like These by Jack Johnson

5. Last Goodbye by Jeff Buickley

But the songs I listened to the most when I got my heart ripped out of my chest recently were Sad Mood and I'll Come Running Back To You (both by Sam Cooke) and Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. Totally cheated on the under five thing, sorry ;)

Oh my. All of the Ben Folds fans on this site, a site that loved "Over the Hedge," and no props to "Still" by Ben folds. Other than that, I'm a fairly angry and resentful person during breakups and no band does it better than the Alkaline Trio.

1. Still - Ben Folds
2. Good Fucking Bye - Alkaline Trio
3. Jaked on Green Beers - Alkaline Trio
4. Parting Gift - Fiona Apple
5. 3rd Planet - Modest Mouse

1. Drive, Melissa Ferrick (no, this was the song i stopped being able to listen to)
2. Dilate, Ani DiFranco
3. Judth, A Perfect Circle
4. Galileo, The Indigo Girls
5. Rock Star, Hole

apparently when sad i succumb to the cliches of my sexual orientation. thanks for the insight, pajiba!

Also, Ryan Adams' Come Pick Me Up and Deep Inside of You by Third Eye Blind were constantly on repeat up until a month ago. Short story long, I fell hard for someone who I wasn't sure about but decided to give a relationship with him a shot since he was so persistent about it (two weeks into it, he wanted me to meet his parents!) and because I realized that I really, reeeeeally liked him. Right when I was about to go for it, he (out of the blue) stopped taking my calls, leading me to think that he was in the hospital only to find out that he had met some other girl and was now in a full fledged relationship with her. During finals no less! Music really helped me through it though so yay for this part in the series!

Time For Me To Fly - REO Speedwagon

Don't Let Him Steal Your Heart Away - Phil Collins

One More Night - Phil again

The Scientist - Coldplay
Warning Sign - Coldplay

I could go on forever....I am a closet sap...coming out!

I forgot a couple:

Del Amitri, "Kiss This Thing Goodbye" - Del Amitri's a wet firecracker most of the time, but give this a listen and see if it ain't one perfect breakup song.

Bob Dylan, "Idiot Wind" - You might want to don a helmet and some padding before you cue this one up.

Green Eyes - Erykah Badu

Untouchable Face - Ani Difranco

And for when I was 15 and "goth":

Something I Can Never Have - NIN

Linger - The Cranberries

Some of these are more obvious than others, but here goes...

Many have cited Jeff Buckley, but I didn't see "Last Goodbye" so I'll start there... That song, hurts, but can also be cathartic when you're shouting out the lyrics at the top of your voice.

"How to Survive a Broken Heart" by Ben Lee (off the Something About Mary soundtrack... "I should let this go, but I just can't/Now it's just a lesson I can't grasp..." from the beginning the lyrics are just about perfect.

"New Slang" by The Shins is undoubtedly overused (see "Last Goodbye,"); nevertheless, it's gorgeous, and the wistful lyrics "If you'd a took to me, like a gull takes to the wind..." perfectly encapsulates those moments when distance and perspective has dulled the ache, but the void still remains...

"Don't Think Twice, It's Alright" by Bob Dylan, but, with all due respect to Dylan - who's a great songwriter, but not a great singer, performed by Peter, Paul, and Mary...

"If You Could Read My Mind," by Gordon Lightfoot is about the tragedy of being in love, but unable to make the relationship work.

"Not in this Life" is Natalie Merchant's bitter answer to future relationships, and speaking of Natalie Merchant...

"Noah's Dove" is the best, and most bittersweet, song by 10,000 Maniacs/Merchant.

Korea Girl's "Reunion" is obscure, and not really a breakup song per se, but it's perfectly suited for the mood, especially as the lead singer sings "why should I, spend more time, with people that I hate, and couldn't wait to leave behind" but ends "beautiful, you were, popular, in school, so cool, so cool..."

Rounding out my songs is the requisite Cure song: "A Letter to Elise," Moby's "Porcelain," Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here," "Hotcha Girls," by Ugly Casanova, Bacalov's track from the Kill Bill, vol 1 soundtrack, "The Grand Duel: Parte Prima," and, for a funny/angry breakup, Nerfherder's "Sorry."

Finally, I'll close (after, I realize, I've pretty much listed my entire library... fuck me, but it's an engaging question to answer...), with the Clash's "Spanish Bombs." Frederico Larco is dead and gone.

The addition of "Add It Up" by the Violent Femmes made me laugh. Well played!

1) "Milk"- Garbage
2) The Cure- "Love Song" (and pretty much the rest of The Cure's catalogue)
3) "22: The Death of All The Romance"- The Dears
4) "Ex-Girlfriend"- No Doubt (how embarrassing is that?)
5) "One Last Time"- HIM

There was a lot of Bic Runga and Depeche Mode in the mix as well, but I couldn't pinpoint any one song in particular.

what the hell I'll go

"goodbye my lover" - James Blunt
Because this song played right after I broke up with my last GF.

"two out of three ain't bad" - Meatloaf
This is exactly the situation I was having with another girl who I wanted to want so badly.

"enjoy the silence" -Depeche Mode
this was the song of the crush I had that fucked me over for so many years not from what she did but because my silly ass just was so damn sure I was in love with her that no other relationship had a chance because of it. I told my crush the chorus to this song (yeah I was young and stupid but I'm better now) so that's why this song is here.

"Full of Grace" Sarah McLaughlin
Because it really was better this way, because it was a relationship destroying us both

"Creep" Radiohead
The song for every awkward teenage boy with unrequited love syndrome.

1. Ben Folds Five: "Song For The Dumped". A great "fuck you!" song if there ever was one.

2. Saves The Day: "Freakish". Listened to this all the damn time after my one and only [thus far in my young life] love and I broke up. Especially the part, "I'll make my way 'cross the frozen sea, beyond the blank horizon, where I can forget you and me and get a decent night's sleep."

3. Pretty much any Fiona Apple song. The woman is well-versed in scorn.

4. Something Corporate: "Globes And Maps". Yeah, I don't dig emo-ey bullshit like that, but in college the song had a significance nonetheless.

5. Colin Hay: "I Just Don't Think I'll Get Over You."

Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
Idioteque - Radiohead
Today - Smashing Pumpkins
Otherside - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Diffuse - Hum

All great headphone-type post-breakup songs.

Oh snap, I forgot Stars' "Your Ex Lover Is Dead". Great, great song that another poster mentioned.

Elliott Smith's "Miss Misery" needs a mention as well. Yes, it was in Good Will Hunting, but it's so apropos.

Walking in the Rain- [I have no idea who sang it, but it was the last day of freshman year and my best friend was--cue lack of beleivability--walking in the rain with my boy. I saw it from my schoolbus. It was devastating and funny at the same time.]

Sorry I am--Ani Difranco--mostly because the ex-put it on the breakup tape after I broke his heart. I still feel guilty and it's been 12 'efin years.

Long December--Counting Crows--same boy, same guilt.

And lots of other songs that everyone else has already mentioned--plus one I can't remember but that always makes me cry...I think that it involves a piano and a breakup. Lots of help, I know.

Totally unrelated--just about making me cry--Cats in the Cradle--mostly because I have a fucked up relationship with my mother and she was severely injured in a car crash yesterday...so I'm only barely hanging on and now I'm inappropriately oversharing.

This is a great idea for a comment diversion.. also incredibly bizarre because I just had the idea this morning of making a list of exes/old friends and typing out all the songs I associate with them.

1. "The Moon" by The Microphones.
This song was especially heartbreaking because when we first started dating he would play it for me on his guitar, knowing I really liked the song. One time when he finished I looked at him and said, "Can the lyrics of that song never apply to us?" Of course, they pretty much applied word for word a little over a year later.

2. "Our Way to Fall" by Yo La Tengo.
When I had to admit to myself I didn't feel the same way as when I'd put that song on a mix for him.

3. "Beginning in an Ending" by Against Me!
Fresh out of my super punk rock make out in alleys and wear each other's clothes relationship. Gut-wrenching and terribly accurate.

4. "Romeo & Juliet" by Dire Straits.
First "real" relationship and serious break up. I cried and cried and cried non-stop and was entirely inconsolable. His sister would constantly play this song in the car when we all drove together to Massachusetts one summer. He and I would groan and beg to be allowed to play our music, but after we broke up I could not stop playing it and bawling my eyes out.

5. "Broke (live)" by Modest Mouse.
This is my go-to when things are going shitty in a relationship.

Honorable Mention:
- "About Today" by The National. I've admittedly cried to this countless times.
- "This is Getting Over You" by Alkaline Trio. Screamed this one quite a lot during the angry phase of my first break up.
- "Lover's Spit" by Broken Social Scene. Another "lose your shit" anthem.

Oh, and I can't believe I forgot "Love Will Tear Us Apart". I spent a better part of this winter smoking cigarettes and drinking black coffee while staring off into space listening to this.

/lame

1. Walk Away - Ben Harper

2. Both Hands - Ani Di Franco

3. Love Ridden - Fiona Apple

4. Love is Everything - KD Lang (by Jane Siberry)

5. Rain - Patty Griffin

"Why Should I cry Over You?" - 'cause when I've been dumped I tend to listen to Sinatra for a few weeks straight.
"The Weather is Here, Wich You were Beautiful" - The Mr. T. Experience. He was an asshole. Probably still is.
"Within You" - David Bowie. From Labyrinth. Which my roommate and I used to watch once a month, 'cause we were both kinda in love with Bowie.

Oh yeah - I forgot Springsteen's "Born to Run" which always reminds me of a guy I grew up down the street from and dated (twice...) in hs. He was one of those wild bad boy types who really just needed to get a motor cycle and a nice bohemian chick and ride the hell out of our small hometown. Instead he married a psycho, divorced the psycho, then joined the army in the middle of a fucking war, probably to get back at the psycho. All before his 20th birthday. Because boys are stupid.

well ive never posted on here before but this is the topic that has finally compelled me to. i seem to go though boyfriends like most people go through pairs of socks... anywho, a couple of my faves (some have already been mentioned):
Come Pick Me Up- Ryan Adams

Runnin out of Fools- Neko Case

Kill- Jimmy Eat World

Konstantine- Something Corporate
(ok i'm a little on the emo side compared to others, so sue me!)

Never Wanna F*cking See You Agian-Rich Hardesty (a guy that got his start here in Indiana... dont know how well known he is but this song is grrrreat)

All from my latest pathetic breakup:

"Stupid" by Sarah McLachlan, because even though I knew the relationship was bad and wouldn't go anywhere, I couldn't help myself.

"Army of Me" by Bjork, because he pissed me off making me think I was the one with the problems, when he was the one who was so screwed up and had to make sure everyone knew it.

"I've Forgotten Everything" by Phil Collins, because even though I've put him out of my mind, someone invariably has to mention his name at work and it brings me back to that snivelling pile of goo I was when we broke up (I learned the hard way to never date anyone at work because it rarely ever ends well).

"Ugly Girl" by Fiona Apple, because after we broke up he went running back to his horrible ex-girlfriend and even though I may not be a supermodel, next to her I look like freaking Heidi Klum. The lines "Shes so nice that it makes up for her face, Theres no way, do you have to keep your eyes closed? Do you have to keep the lights down low? Oh I bet you wish you had a blind fold" make me giggle every time and then feel guilty for being so nasty.

This is a sort of unrequited/never fulfilled situation from senior year. My best friend and I clearly both liked each other, but I was scared to admit it. I set him up with a casual friend to give me time to figure out what I wanted, and they ended up dating through graduation and falling in high-school love.
Anyways, my friend loved LOVED the Deftones and, through many emotional nights sitting in his room, I eventually grew to like them as well, or at least their song Change. After we left high school, I was never able to listen to that song again. I suppose it's not too big a loss.

1. Love Ridden - Fiona Apple
2. Let Him Fly - Patty Griffin
3. The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore - James Morrison
4. Stay (I Missed You) - Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories
5. Cactus Tree - Joni Mitchell

1. "When You're Around" - Motion City Soundtrack
2. "Creep" - Radiohead
3. "Louise" - NoFX*
4. "Why Can't I be With You?" - the Cure
5. "Pieces of the People We Love" - the Rapture

*this song is for an ex-girlfriend who was a total cunt.

I just wanted to say "thanks" to my fellow Pajiba readers for mentioning Sufjan Stevens in a previous comment diversion. I bought the Come on Feel the Illinoise CD today and I love it. So amazing.

portishead - "roads"

Somebody That I Used to Know - Elliot Smith

so much good stuff here:

Billy Bragg's "Must I Paint You a Picture"
Dire Straits "Romeo and Juliet"

to which I will add:

Tom Waits - San Diego Serenade (thanks Tanya)
Phil Collins - Against All Odds (thanks Robin)
The Blasters - Border Radio (thanks Cathleen)
Joni Mitchell - Coyote (thanks, um YOU)
Tori's cover of Leonard Cohen - Famous Blue Raincoat (thanks Joanie and Bill!)
Cowboy Junkies - Driving Wheel (thanks Karolyn)

Brings back some old memories -

1 Whippin' Post -- Allman Brothers (Filmore East)
2 Ruby's Arms -- Tom Waits
3. Two more bottles of Wine -- Emmylou Harris
4. An entire Joan Armatrading album -- was it Show Some Emotion? can't remember, but I am sure my roommate from college does, since she had to listen to it with me over and over and supply kleenex...
5. Sweet Jane -- Cowboy Junkies
6. I've got your picture -- Patsy Cline

i haven't had the opportunity to listen to this songs after a break up, but they are highly recomended.

"bad cover version" by pulp, it's more of a "your new gf/bf sucks", here's some of the lyrics:

Such great disappointment when you got him home -
the original was so good; the one you no longer own.
And every touch reminds you of just how sweet it could have been
And every time he kisses you, you get the taste of saccharine.
It's not easy to forget me, it's so hard to disconnect
When it's electronically reprocessed to give a more life-like effect.

you have to listen to it to get the feeling. amazing.

"I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" colin hay, from the garden state soundtrack. (oh the pain, make it stop!)

finally, a record i discovered recently, by the spinto band, "nice and nicely done" has a lot of break-up-ish songs, and fun.

Oh my first break up it was The entire "Downward Spiral" album and "Fumbling Towards Exctasy" 16 years old and that was my mix tape.

Recently, Ani still gets me through my day

if it makes you happy - sheryl crow (then why the hell was I so sad?)

crazy - k-ci and jojo (high school, i'm sorry it was the 90's and he had bad taste in music)

heart of the matter (don henley)

Yay bitterness!

1) Ani DiFranco: Both Hands
2) Barenaked Ladies: Break Your Heart
3) The Magnetic Fields: I don't wanna get over you
4) Matt Nathanson: Church Clothes (or, alternatively, Lost Myself In Search Of You, "because you're stupid and you lie andyou'reawhore..."
5) Rootless Tree -- Damien Rice

Linger - Cranberries (long, painful, drawn-out breakup)

Everybody Hurts - REM

P.S. Courtney you just made me cry at my desk! It's fine, I'll pretend this report I'm typing is really, really sad...

God, this is embarrassing.

1. Don't Speak - No Doubt. Shut up, I was 17
2. #1 Crush - Garbage. Shut up, I was 17 still and we'd seen Romeo + Juliet three times together at the cinema. Shut up.
3. Summertime - Janis Joplin. I spent three weeks getting drunk every night to this song after being dumped.
4. Africa - Toto. Yep, after a break up with an African guy. So predictable.
5. Wonderboy - The Kinks. On rotation after a break up because the boy and I had a drunken faux tap number we'd made up to it.

oh wow.

someday you will be loved -deathcab for cutie
return to me - the october project
it ain't me babe - bob dylan
crazy arms or the french song - lucille star

House by Marillion
Aluminum by Barenaked Ladies
Kitchen Mitts by The Disco Biscuits

First stupid crush: Turn Back Time - Cher

First serious boyfriend: Don't Dream it's Over - Crowded House

First serious fight with now DH: Everybody Hurts - REM

1. "Where Does the Good Go?" - Tegan and Sara
2. "Take Me or Leave Me" - RENT
3. "Ooh Child" - Nina Simone
4. "Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" - Panic! at the Disco (he was a big Panic! fan)

5. "Cannonball" - Damien Rice....all the big break-ups are followed by this one.

The first boyfriend, who was "destined to be alone forever and wouldn't subject me to that loneliness". And you thought emo was recent.
- Where were you?- Erasure
- Pictures of You- The Cure

Unfortunately, I don't have any others. I broke up with all the others for pretty good reasons, and saw no need to grieve (or rejoice, since my stupidity got me into the situation in the first place).

1. "how's it going to be" -- third eye blind
2. "now that it's over" -- everclear
3. "what you are" -- audioslave
4. "cold contagious" -- bush
5. "thank me with your hands" -- panthers

obviously, a lot of my worst break-ups occurred during the mid-90s. thank goodness Art Alexakis, Stephan Jenkins, and Gavin Rossdale were there to vent their pain to the world!

Here are my bitter five... in no order:

Friend Of Mine (The Notorious B.I.G.)

Sing It Again (Beck)

There's no home for you here (White Stripes)

Lose you (Pete yorn)

One Chance (Modest Mouse)

A couple of sad-sap ones:

Beatles - You've Got To Hide Your Love Away
Mirah - Don't Die in Me

Oh and a sexy, triumphant one:
Regina Spektor - Rejazz

1. "Lover, You Should Have Come Over"/"Last Goodbye"/"Morning Theft" -- The boy nearly ruined Jeff Buckley for me by using the lyrics in away messages, sending me songs, emailing lyrics, etc. It hurt knowing I'd depressed him so, but...I mean, honestly.
2. "You Make Loving Fun" by Fleetwood Mac -- Near the long, drawn-out end, this came on the radio when he left the room for a moment. And I burst into tears.
3. "Nothing Better" by The Postal Service -- Same boy from 1 and 2, except this one made me laugh in hindsight.
4. "Be Still My Heart" by The Postal Service -- Sort of a cheat, as we didn't actually break up. But we were thisclose, and it was playing as I drove to visit him. The exact opposite of how I felt at the time.
5. "Wandering" by Ben Folds -- Again, sort of a cheat. Found myself suddenly bawling as I sang along in my car.

Damn, sucked into another diversion list.

My songs for breakups:

Ex-factor - Lauren Hill
Where Did We Go Wrong - Incognito
You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette
My Favorite Mistake - Sheryl Crow
Something's Always Wrong - Toad the Wet Sprocket
I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt
Pieces - Hil St. Soul
Me, Myself and I - Beyonce
Best of You - Foo Fighters
You Never Call Me When Your Sober - Evanescence

Keep up these comment diversions and there could be quite an interesting book in the offing.

Pretty much any of the many breakup songs by Sleater-Kinney (fangirl much?), but here are the top ones:

1) Good Things (That plaintive opening riff kills me every time.)
2) One More Hour (Good breakup, bad breakup, this song still manages to fit every breakup feeling into one litt