Pajiba

I don't know why after reading this review outlining all the shitty things in this movie, the thing that bothers me the most is that they didn't talk for two years and then became friends again. There was a two year span in this movie. This really really bothers me.

So, no Bratz doll for me this Christmas then? Damn!

Where's a canister of napalm when you really need it?

Thank you! It's even more wonderful than I've imagined.

perhaps an 8 to 10 year old girl should have reviewed this douchenozzle piece of crap.

Nice one Agent. Tops review.

Now I keep thinking about that episode of The Simpsons where Lisa makes her own doll in protest to Talking Malibu Stacey

she might find solace with the mariachi band that hangs out in her kitchen.

Wait....huh? Seriously?

the production quickly descends into a mating session between MySpace and MTV's "Sweet Sixteen."

That, right there, is pure comedy gold. I am so sure the movie came up with nothing so clever.

But what did you really learn? Quick, I'm having a lip gloss fiasco over here!

So... uh.. how fucking crazy have things become that a tween movie based on a set of dolls, twists and uses a line from a movie about vietnam that itself was modeled after a book by Joseph Conrad.

The phrase "I love the smell of retail in the morning" doesn't conjure up images of cute little high school girls so much as the image of Jason Lee in Mallrats. I know this has nothing to do with Bratz, but I just wanted to say thanks for conjuring up the image and reminding me that I need to watch that movie again!

In shit like this, the villain of the piece is almost always the most amusing character, as well as the better actress. I don't know why. Maybe it's like how you have to be smart to play dumb[well], I don't know.

ahahahahaaa. perfect review.

Sounds as horrendous as the trailers make me think it is. Question though, when you guys have to watch tween crap like this one, is there like a handy badge you carry that states "Incidentally, I'm a movie reviewer and not a pedophile" that you flash the guy in the ticket booth? Cause with more and more shit films like this coming out, I'm thinking that those might be a useful investment.

this movie was deisgned and made to cater a specific audience.

nuff said.

this movie was deisgned and made to cater a specific audience.

you mean braindead children? Seriously, I do remember quite a bit of my childhood and I just can't recall ever finding barbies/bratz/hos all that appealing. On the other hand, I prefered reading books and climbing trees/playing war with my brother/legos.
If my sister buys that crap to my niece, I'll buy her a slingshot (can't buy guns in Europe) and teach her to use them as target practice. decapitation = 50 points.

Jon Voight? Man... why? WHY?

I thought we was down, Jon.

The trailer for this was the worst 30 seconds of my life.

This movie would have been more interesting if it had starred the little tranny ho dolls from the pink boxes. My nine year old has a few of them, and her Bratz (Bratzes?) manage to behave themselves with a modicum of decency, having remained good friends since she started getting them as gifts a couple of years ago. My daughter took one look at the trailer for this movie and panned it before the "Underdog" trailer came on. I have never been so proud. She can have as many lollipop headed methed up hooker dolls as she wants.

Seriously...they don't talk for two years, and suddenly end up friends again? I mean it's *possible*, given how fickle adolescent girl friendships typically are...bleh.

I blame Bratz and all those shows kids watch nowadays for overly made up 11-yr-olds wanting "boyfriends" and trying to act sexy. Sends a chill through me, it does.

Joker:

I read a ton of books as a child, got good grades all through school, and took classical piano lessons from age 6 to 16. I also would have been SO ALL OVER these dolls and this movie right up to about the age of eleven or twelve. Children are complex individuals.

Don't rag on a kid for wanting to see this movie. Rag on their parents for letting them.

Well my weekend is finally complete. I have finally gotten my long awaited Bratz review.
And any toy that looks like Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver is not okay with me. Yet sadly, little girls worship them and dress like them. And their mothers cry on the inside.

In our house, we refer to the Bratz dolls as "prosti-tots". Not cool. I had a meltdown in Toys 'R' Us a few years ago when visually assaulted by the Bratz Babies...toy toddlers in eye-makeup, midriff-baring tops and thongs. How do these toy designers (and now filmmakers *sigh*) sleep at night? Do we really need to give the pedophiles a leg up? It's all so very sad & wrong...

All the themes here were already dealt with in As Told by Ginger to much more positive effect. But I don't think they are trying to deal with anything here; are they? This movie is not an indictment or critique of vapidness and materialism it's a CELEBRATION of it.
Promoting clicks and racist stereotypes under the guise of so called parody.
ALL the people responsible for this marketing "phenomenon" should be should be rounded up and lined up against a what for what they are doing to our kids.

*lined up against a wall and shot.

First of all, I'm glad I'm not the only one that made the mental jump to Mallrats with that quote.
Secondly, our little girl is going to be four this fall, and she's yet to show any interest in dolls. Unless you count Transformers as dolls, I suppose.
She and my husband drag me to Toys R Us regularly to check for new robot-goodness, and I've seen the display of these things. The Bratz themselves aren't bad enough apparently, as now they have Bratz Babies, Bratz Kidz and more. Some days I worry they're marketing specifically to pedos with stuff like this.

First of all, I'm glad I'm not the only one that made the mental jump to Mallrats with that quote.
Secondly, our little girl is going to be four this fall, and she's yet to show any interest in dolls. Unless you count Transformers as dolls, I suppose.
She and my husband drag me to Toys R Us regularly to check for new robot-goodness, and I've seen the display of these things. The Bratz themselves aren't bad enough apparently, as now they have Bratz Babies, Bratz Kidz and more. Some days I worry they're marketing specifically to pedos with stuff like this.

Call me a paranoid sandy-vaginaed conspiracy theorist if you will, but does anyone else suspect that this and everything else aimed at tween girls (see the Barbie web site post form last week) is some mass secret campaign to turn little girls (who will become women) into shopping zombies and wipe out everything we have gained in terms of respect and career opportunities in the past 40 years? I just don't see the same mass marketing push at boys of a similar age urging them to be mindless and shallow. Yes, there are video games of course, but those at least make them think strategically about how to get to the next level and kill the opponent. Okay, off to grow my armpit hair now.

To PaddyDog: you should check out the movie Zeitgeist online. You're fears are not completely incorrect.

And also, this is the first Agent Bedhead review I enjoyed. Congrats AB! We share a not-so-secret hatred of the dumbing down of girls at a malleable age. =)

I'm grateful that I'm rather unaffected by these toy atrocities. At 22, I'm too old to have played with them myself, and too young to have kids who's crying for them.
Although, I was quite fazed when McDonald's distributed miniature Bratz dolls with each Happy Meal a few years back. Such an unholy alliance - is this the "axis of evil" that Bush rants about?

Disturbing mental image inducing insults aside, PaddyDog, you are certainly not the only one that feels that way. They're assaulting us so called grownups too. I'm all for the occasional monthly glossy - hell, I even get pleasure out of the weekly "my husband tried to kill me and then slept with my sister, who is in fact my mother and now they live in a caravan in Skegness" rags - but there can be no reason for the latest crop of weekly "fashion and lifestyle" magazines other than to slowly chip away at our general satisfaction with life and convince us that we will never be real and worthwhile people unless we purchase the item that the hag of the editor got sent for free the previous week and she now has to push onto unsuspecting consumers in order to guarantee her next free sample.

Bratz dolls and this god forsaken movie are just the preliminary stages. Seriously (and I say this as the girl who's DVD, book and video game collections get treated like a lending library because I have so many of them and as someone who recently had to encroach onto her flatmate's closet space - unmaterialistic I am not) we live in a society where "shopping" can actually be counted as a valid pasttime and it makes my soul ache.

Holy Christ I had no idea I actually cared about this issue. Normally I'm so apathetic. I'm scared.

This 17 year old girl I mentor keeps bringing up this movie so I'll take her to it, and I just want to tell her that it'll probably suck more than Hairspray. But I can't, I think we're up to our quota for movies for this year actually. So like Nancy Drew I won't be watching this one EVER, not in this lifetime anyway.

Paddydog: As the mother of a newborn baby girl, I pray that you're wrong, but suspect that you're right. Seriously - how do I have some modicum of control over this shit without turning my child into a version of the Frookie-eating "Who is Pee Wee Herman? We're not allowed to watch television." weirdos of my era?

PaddyDog- You are spot on with your analysis. Any toy that I see for young girls aims to make girls vapid, ignorant, and helpless. Furthermore, I have an eight year old sister (and yes, I am always getting the "What a beautiful daughter you have" comment when we hang out together) who I constantly have to protect from Bratz dolls and their ilk. While I understand Barbie is extremely horrible and detrimental to a young girl's self-esteem because she forces an impossible and delusional body type onto a girl, Barbie at least tries to use her brain and rely on herself in her little movies, and she tries to promote girl power which I am all about. While I don't completely condone Barbie and have insisted that my little sister learn about science and math, use a microscope, and enjoy reading, I do realize that Barbie is nowhere near as lethal to a girl as a Bratz doll or even a Bratz movie *shudder*. Whoever thought of these dolls made a deal with the devil *my mind goes straight to a Futurama episode*. I never understood how these dolls became so popular because they have no redeeming qualities. I look at them and see a hooker working on G Street in D.C.. I mean what parent wants their child to play with a hooker doll? Thank God, my lil' sis does not like these dolls, and if she did, I would be damned if she ever got caught with one.

These dolls should be the rallying cry to feminists everywhere because they prove that we still got a long way to go. Que "Fight the Power."

Actually, it should be "cue." My mind is a bit hazy today.

My daughter is four and has only just started showing interest in dolls; her favorites are the Kelly dolls (Barbie's little sister). These do not bother me, as they're little girls with little-girl bodies and (for the most part) clothes that little girls would wear. I can even tolerate Barbie. I played with her for years and never thought that I was expected to grow up looking like her. Bratz dolls, however, will not enter this home. I draw the line at hoochie-babies. I love my daughter too much to send her the message that it's okay for dolls to look like that.

As for the movie, I got nuthin...which apparently is appropriate in this instance.

"BEGS THE QUESTION" DOES NOT MEAN "SUGGESTS THE QUESTION!"

I don't want any more misused phrases on Pajiba!

If this continues, I'll only check the site 3 times a day!

Why am I certain the review is more artfully done than this movie? Because I know my Agent, and can be so assured from experience.

But my thought, as a grandfather to a little girl who just the other day expressed an interest in these "dolls" on a recent shopping trip for someone else's birthday, strangely runs to wondering if Mickey Rooney would be writhing in his grave over this - if he were dead.

We used to have talent shows in kid movies to raise money for poor Aunt Hildy's crippled baby. Now they are done to strike a blow for a strange and cult-like sheepness masquerading as a form of independent personal expression.

All hail the adolescent conformity of non-conformity!

You know what this movie needs? Somebody getting killed with a book. Doesn't matter who, as long as there is a death and a book is involved.

And I am still trying to understand the mariachi band thing.

You know what this movie needs? Somebody getting killed with a book. Doesn't matter who, as long as there is a death and a book is involved."

Best Bratz related suggestion ever. I can think of several points during the trailer (which, of course, is the only part of this crapfest that I will ever watch) where a book related killing would be entirely appropriate. Any time the acronym "BFF" is used, for example.

"And I am still trying to understand the mariachi band thing...."

Posted by: Vermillion at August 5, 2007 5:05 PM

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Just file it under: Vulgar attempt at racism.

And you're good to go.

Alex the Odd and Vermillion -- I would settle for a good two hours of bitch slapping [of the main characters], actually. I believe I would enjoy that more than watching the movie as is.

"And I am still trying to understand the mariachi band thing...."

Posted by: Vermillion at August 5, 2007 5:05 PM

*************************************************

Just file it under: Vulgar attempt at racism.

And you're good to go.

I've been dreading this movie for awhile. My daughter is 6 and has been begging for a Bratz doll for some time. What bothers me most is that we don't have a TV and she only sees the occasional commercial at grandma's house - her sole reason for wanting one is "my friends at daycare all have one and they won't play with me because I don't have one."

Try "if-all-your-friends-tried-jumping-off-a-bridge..."-ing a 6-year-old with any degree of success.

I'm angry that this sexualizing of young girls and objectification of women disguised as "girl power" is not only poisoning the minds of my daughter's friends so that they think "Baby Bratz" is good fodder for imaginative play, but also because "opting out" of the world that is Bratz (and the very individualism that these dolls ostensibly embody) is not an option.

Blech. I bought her a Collette doll instead (from Ratatouille). Fully-clothed sassy French chef - I can handle that as a role model.

"Jon Voight? Man... why? WHY?"

I saw him on Craig Ferguson (I think), he's the blonde brat's godfather. The crap that came out of his mouth to shill this movie was so obviously bullshit, "this is a great family film, for all ages...full of fun and good messages..." As soon as he said his goddaughter was in it, Craig gave the Aha! face

I've got a few years before I have to start worrying about things like this with my daughter, but it scares the crap out of me, for all of the reasons already stated. We don't let her watch TV now, and will limit it and its content as she gets older, but how do you fight peer pressure? This makes me beg for the simplicity of a future Barbie obsession. I played with Barbies as a kid and also did not have any expectation that I needed to look the way she did/does. She was just a fun doll to dress up in different clothes and occasionally mutilate. I do have to admit to my adult tendency to be a clothes horse, and I have to say there isn't much that buying a great pair of shoes won't fix for me. But as a well adjusted, successfully educated wife, mother, and careerist, I don't need to apologize for anything. Now the tricky part of carefully teaching that balance to my children.

My contempt for this film and these dolls have made me monumentally curious as to what kinds of reviews this thing would garner. After reading several of the selections on rotten tomatoes, I really feel that your review should be included over there. You touched on several subtleties that the other reviews I read seemed to miss. It's easy to point out the disturbing focus on materialism; you've taken it to another level by identifying the disturbing idea that those girls did give up their other interests to - basically - go shopping. How is that supposed to convince me to be myself? How is that supposed to be a redeeming message?

I have two small cousins who are just coming into the age where Bratz might be cool...I hope like hell their mother is intelligent enough to tell them no...however, seeing as they are turning into the kind of girls that made school hell for me, I doubt she will resist the screaming tirades that will no doubt come her way if she refuses.

As for me, I'll keep giving them books to read. So hopefully they'll have at least half a brain. Unless they see this movie, which might actually cause whatever neuronal matter there is between their ears to drip out their nose...

"BEGS THE QUESTION" DOES NOT MEAN "SUGGESTS THE QUESTION!"

Bucko, thank you! This misuse of a logical term has bugged me for years. You hear and read it everywhere now. I was beginning to think I was the only person who cared ... and it's all part of the rich pattern of language change through time, and blah blah. But there are others of us out there after all. I shall continue to fight the good fight!
As for this movie - what a world we live in. I worked as a cataloguer in a library for a time, and remember being utterly appalled by a series of Mary Kate and Ashley books which I swear talked about nothing apart from how to shop for the perfect dress to bring out the color of your eyes, and the importance of the right pair of shoes, and applying your makeup correctly. It's pretty scary that children are being given a message that these are important values in a world which more than ever needs passionate commitment to ethical ways of living and thinking about our fellow human beings struggling simply to exist on this distressed planet of ours.

Thanks Bucko! You have taken up the mantle of correct usage. I get tired of pointing out that "begs the question" means that the answer is given by the question itself, not that it suggests another question. But I give Pajibans a blanket dispensation because I am sure that they are deliberately and knowlingly breaking the rule when they use the phrase incorrectly. I could not get my minimum daily snark by checking this site only three times a day.

Whoa mnemo, you are a faster reader/thinker/typist than I am, Gunga Din! Glad to know that there are more of us in these grammar- and logic-vulture ranks. Carry on.

I can't believe no one caught the name of the high school Carry Nation - named after the band in "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls". Gee, they were sluts too...

My kid's 11, and thus, Bratz lost their coolness about a year ago.

There's a reason Bratz are outselling Barbie. Barbie became all about magical princesses and shit. Oh, it always had that element to some extent, but Barbie used to be the Cool Teen that girls wanted to be like. Now she's a mermaid, or a fairy, and older girls don't want to be seen playing with that for long. My kid gave a lot of her Barbies away to an eight-year-old friend, and even she doesn't really care for them that much.

So Bratz, the cool teens, take over from 8-10, and then they're done with dolls for the most part.

They don't turn your girls into future whores any more than playing with Barbies turned your peers into a generation of aspiring flight attendants.

But I have to ask this question: why is it TOTALLY AWESOME for 30-somethings to go see a blockbuster movie of freakin' Transformers, which were as vapid and brain-dead as any toy on the market now, but an Abomination for the Bratz movie to exist? Does it take 20 years before nostalgia washes away the stupid?

The answer is quite simple, Wednesday. In fact, I think is begs the question (please, tell me this is right) that it is grown folks with large amounts of nostalgia going to see Transformers, while still-developing and quite gullible children are targeted by this dreck. Nobody in the Transformers audience honestly believe their Camaro is going to turn into a robot, but quite a few young children think the attitudes expressed in this movie are how real human beings are supposed to act.

You don't see kids dressed up as Optimus Prime unless it is Halloween. But I see little girls dressed up in so-called individuality every day.

I used to rail against the idea of the BRATZ dolls and the phenom that it has become and swore up down and sideways I would never buy my daughter or my nieces a doll. It was against every feminist bone in my body! Then I read a rant against "princesses" and how 3-6 year olds loving princesses was such a horrid thing, and how we are "Disney-fying" our daughters and making them vapid and blah blah blah... seriously. It's a doll. It's an ugly doll, too, but I collected Garbage Pail Kid cards as a kid and didn't start rolling around in vomit or anything. I played with Barbie and her enormous rack never really got in the way of her adventures in Marine Biology. So whatever. It's a doll. I prefer buying the soccer one (Chloe) for my niece because she's the least tramp IMO, but when it's all said and done, I'm o.k. with it.

I'm not o.k. with the way kids clothes have been cut lately, or the fact you can get a thong for a 10 year old. That shit pisses me off enough to have a fit about it. Letting your kid play with a doll is one thing- letting her wear makeup over and above Dr. Pepper flavored Bonnie Bell is a wee bit irresponsible.

Also, why do our 7-10 year olds have to be so f-ing cool that they would reject this movie off hand? Good review, because I don't think the disney crowd is coming to get Pajiba-ized. I'm sure I watched some shitty movies when I was young too. Hell, on the Secret Shames thread we went on and on about how anti-feminist 7 brides for 7 brothers was, and I still love the hell out of it.

I read that Jeffrey Sebelia, formerly of Project Runway, designed the costumes for the movie. I'll probably rent this (and fast-forward through it on mute) just to check out his work.

Oh, was that after Paula Abdul got fired, Whiskers?

I can't speak to the experience of the posters who mentioned playing with Barbies, but here was my take. Of course I don't know what any of you look like, so take this only as my personal experience. As a non-Caucasian girl, seeing something that was anathema to everything that I am, which was being presented as normative--hell, the ideal-- was just downright taunting. The opposite of Barbie is me, and Barbie is sunlight incarnate. Therefore, that which is the opposite of Barbie is...screwed. This was troubling on its own, but it was even more so because they were so 'attractive', and not just physically. Other posters spoke about her being a blank slate upon which they could posit their own interests and aspirations, and that's appealing. They were fun, and something inside of me always felt a little wrong because I was drawn to them. So there were all of those issues to wade through, along with the body-image stuff with which EVERYONE is familiar. Barbie, as the paragon of representative 'goodness', was just another means of invalidating my existence, and seriously, does a black girl really need more of that. I mean, when I was growing up, of course there were places where I could get my postitive affirmations and stuff, but they were so sombre and self-serious. You couldn't just shoot the shit without everything so significant, or an honour, or a damned tribute. I'm not saying these things are detrimental, but when I was a kid, I seriously felt the weight of having to be an 'example of positive blackness', and there wasn't the luxury of letting loose and having fun because cunts like Barbie were screwing shit up for me. I think a lot of minorities feel that way. Barbie, and all that she represents says you're no good, so by god, we're going to prove that they're wrong. And prove it, and prove it, and prove it. Not to mention the idea of just throwing the idea of being attractive in some manner that didn't reference something about being a 'black African queen or something'. Convention is not meant for us, so we have to politicize and become mission statement of beauty of hyper-blackness. Are you getting this, Vermillion? Everything related to this was so separate from the regular day-to-day existence of a kid growing up in Ontario, and I'm telling you, 'black America', and blacks in Canada don't share a whole lot of commonalities. The whole thing was so damned leaden and foreign. Can't we just watch 'Nothing but Trouble' and relax for a minute?

Sure, I can completely understand that for some they may be enjoyable fun because they do encourage imaginary play, I did all of that. I liked to pretend that they were all on the run from some imaginary baddies called 'The Forces'. I'd had enough school during the day, I wasn't going to spend my off time re-enacting subjects that I just done all day. Anyway, perhaps for kids who played with them, there was a degree of recognisability within the Barbie world. Hey, maybe you were a brunette, or even a REDHEAD. And you could almost hear the voices of the Mattel heads saying,

'Are all of our bases covered?'
'Yeah, that's all three.'
'We'll leave out the darkies and the ugmos until they start causing a ruckus, then?'
'Mmmm-hmm. Tee-off at two.'

Then they introduced coloured dolls, but there was something so cynical and mercenary about the dipped blonde effect (I remember seeing that the majority of the time they didn't even bother to change the eye colour from blue), that it didn't even seem worth it. I'm not as familiar with the SLUTZ dolls as everyone else here seems to be. I didn't know about the offshoot lines until today. But to me, not just for the reasons I mentioned, but for all of the reasons that you hate Barbies, I just can't raise as much ire. I mean, the long sad history of a German sex doll gone good has been ruining self images for decades. As as for this new crap? We have Barbie to thank for this shit, don't we?

Bratz aren't allowed in our house, they're refered to as "those freaky bug eyed alien things" and mocked when we see them at the store.

My daughter's friends all have them, and for about a week, she wanted one too because they pulled that "You have to have one to play with us" crap. I told her she could bring a Barbie to play with, and if that wasn't good enough for her friends, then they weren't worth playing with. It worked.

"still developing and quite gullible children are targeted by this dreck." -- Vermillion

True, as children have been targeted with dreck since the dawn of advertising. But children aren't completely blank slates waiting to be reeled in by whichever nefarious merchandiser hypnotizes them next. Parents set the stage for what kind of message gets through, especially in the younger kids. When they get older and more susceptible to the influence of their peers, that's when you have to watch out.

I think kids today are much, much more sophisticated about the realities of advertising than my generation was. I watched my daughter and her friends mocking the animated Bratz movies...they were probably nine when they saw the first one. They *still* wanted to see them, don't get me wrong, but they knew they were crap even then.

I also love that the one girl has to let her grades slip in order to have the big reunion. What a great message!

I haven't seen this and don't plan to, but based on the trailer (which is weirdly fascinating through its levels of ineptitude), Tina Fey was probably on the phone with her lawyers pretty quickly. I mean, come on, people. Mean Girls was great the first time around.

and Yasmin (Nathalia Ramos) does nothing and has no friends but, since she's half-Hispanic, she might find solace with the mariachi band that hangs out in her kitchen

Her only other credit is as Hope Loblaw

This review is great. But, what the hell is with that seizure-inducing green flashing ad on the side? It makes me want to scratch my eyes out.

***when I was a kid, I seriously felt the weight of having to be an 'example of positive blackness', and there wasn't the luxury of letting loose and having fun because cunts like Barbie were screwing shit up for me. I think a lot of minorities feel that way.***

INNNNteresting comment, M. I can't remember the name of that black overacheiver in Daria, but she made a similar comment once, and 15-yr-old me raised a black-panther-fist in the air.( la la LAA la la...)
As for the Bratz dolls, each race is just as ugly as the next, so there's progress, right?-equality!
And somewhere in my heart, I think there is a twisted producer in hollywood that greenlights dreck like this JUST so he can read these reviews and dance around his room and lick the Agent Bedhead poster on his wall over his bed.

I totally get what you are saying, M. It sucks that we have to either be one extreme or another. And it doesn't matter what we as individuals want for ourselves, we have to 'represent' either way. You couldn't just be yourself; some part of you was going to be ignored or insulted. And it is even more difficult for females, because you are getting knocked around from all sides.

Sometimes you just want to chill out and relax without worrying about how far the movement is going to be set back.

@Bucko:

The misuse of "begging the question" is one of my pet peeves. I never say anything about it because I always feel like it doesn't matter to anyone else. What I am saying here, is that you rock.

I haven't seen Daria in years! I think her name was Jodie. Thanks for the responses.

I saw the trailer for this when I went to see Harry Potter. The entire theater booed.

I saw the trailer for this when I went to see Harry Potter. The entire theater booed.

Oh wow. There is hope for humanity!

"Oh wow. There is hope for humanity!"

Not when you look at the box office figures for Norbit there's not. I refuse to have faith in a world that encourages the comedy usage of fat suits.

My pre-teen daughter & her friend saw this movie last night & had this observation: How could the contest be a tie when it was a 3 judge panel? So what started as my daughter's plan to "get away from my parents," turned out to be an endless source of bust out jokes for them, from inconsistencies in the story line to obvious lip synching.

As our girls laughed sarcastically and made bombastic jerky immitations of the Bratz dance moves, tears of joy welled in my eyes. It became clear that my husband and I are on the right track as a parents raising human females in this world. Paula Abdul's vision of high school girls = bad and stupid. Sarcasm = fruit of the Gods. ~sigh~ I'm getting all worked up just thinking about it now.

I don't understand..
Everyone knows this movie is going to be really bad... but it was never intended to win any oscars by the makers of the film (maybe Voight thought otherwise)... They are catering to middle school girls who fantasize about high school, not intellectuals in university or to adults.
so why spend the time writing such a lengthy review to tell people what we already knew for ourselves (unless you watched the movie prejudiced knowing you would write a bad review for people to laugh at later)?
The funniest thing is when people write, "Awesome! Great Review! Now I dont need to watch the movie! Thanks for showing me the light from your bottomless well knowledge"
Same goes for "Underdog", the movie is made for kids, ages 6 and under. And there you have some douche writing he walked out of the theatre... wow how cool, keep being pretentious.

Alkes, I disagree that this is pretentiousness. Just because a movie is aimed at a younger demographic doesn't mean it has to be complete crap. There are plenty of great movies for kids, after all.

First of all, Alkes, no one drops 6 year olds off at the movies by themselves.
Secondly, young impressionable minds should no more be exposed to vapid drek than mature minds.
There is no sudden transition between child and adult. Maturity comes on as a gradual process. Feeding a young mind terrible values and vapid lifestyles will not make for a mature, well-grounded adult. If you want a thoughtful, individualistic, free-thinking adult, you expose a child to quality. Do you seriously not GET that?

OR....

Expose them to dreck, pointing out it's flaws & then make fun of it mercilessly.

I personally hate these Hoochie Mama dolls!
These dolls look like something that belong in an adult toy store instead of a Toys R Us.
Every time I pass them I can't help but sneer at these trashy pieces of plastic, or stand there wide-eyed in disbelief when a parent buys these pieces of crap for their children.
The Bratz make Barbie look like Mother Theresa!

I don't remember what movie I went to go see, but I remember the trailer for this movie popping up on the screen, and better believe that I was one of many people in that theater that was vocal about the movie.
I have reason to believe that any parent who willfully bring their child to see this movie without any sort of force has some serious mental issues.

What a fantastic and thought-provoking post, M! I love that a crappy movie like this can actually lead to intelligent debate, although that may just be a Pajiba-specific reaction.

Very interesting points in other comments about how toys aimed at girls seem to be designed to instill vapid materialism, but how about the stuff for boys? Everything for boys seems to be about fast cars and violence, perpetuating the oafish male stereotype.

Me and my sister used to make-believe with the barbie dolls. Any bits or pieces of other toys became something that barbie could use. As someone stated above(sorry, can't remember who)I never grew up expecting to look like barbie. It was extremely funny, though, when on a christmas shopping trip one year, my mother noticed that in one barbie box, there was barbie pushing a stroller. In a box next to it was ken at a movie theatre...hmmmm.... Anyways, as far as "how do I resist the peer pression that my daughter will be going through? You just do, and when she's graduated from high school she'll thank you for it. Your daughters dont need to be the nancy-prancy slutb!tches that made your(and my) life in high school hell. We all made it out alright without dressing the latest fashions from macy's and dillards, right? Ok then. Now....Everyone needs to go to mgae.com. Go to customer service. Go to "contact us". Then go to the u.s. one and go to "email us" next to (preferred method of contact). Send them emails. Flood their inboxes. Show them what happens when a bunch of older women ("old enough to be counted as a threat" so to speak) get mad. Show them what happened when women demaded equal rights in 1923, and the womens movements in the '60s. I'm not necessarily a feminist (yet) but last night I saw on ABC nightline or something about how the 50 something year old guy was p-od about "womens nights" at bars/clubs. And then thought it was ok to hit on women half his age. Idiotic. These kinds of things are really starting to p. me off. So... Good Luck!

i went to see bratz yesterday and its the best film i have seen all year xx

i hate the 2 years thing. its too quick. it's exactly 19 minutes and 10 seconds to the movie and suddenly, '2 years later'? its too FAST. but the rest is okay, it's just too predictable. and they kinda exaggerate how because the girls passed the sprout checking booth on the first day.
and yasmin was TOTALLY lip synching.

i dont think the dolls are supposed to be 'hos' or prostitutes. i mean, when i was in the 5th grade, my friends and i made a bratz club, we were each doll. we just loved bratz because their clothes were awesome, and because the toys were also cute. but so what? i played with barbie, and i dont think that it's the designer's fault that they made dolls with boobs and asses. they only want the kids to buy it. geez. u guys make a big deal out the the dolls. THEY ARE PLASTIC.

and bsides, the movie was a 3-star. or a 7.2.

I WENT TO SCHOOL TODAY