October 6, 2008 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Box Office Round-Ups | October 6, 2008 |


19. How to Lose Friends and Alienate People ($1.4 million): Wow. The problem with alienating too many people, I suppose, is that there’s no one left to see your goddamn movie. Clearly, Simon Pegg holds no box-office sway with the masses, but I’m surprised a few more folks didn’t turn out to see Megan Fox. It’s also Kirsten Dunst’s worse opening since 2003’s Levity, which also starred Billy Bob Thornton, Morgan Freeman, and Holly Hunter. It also happens to be a film I’ve never fucking heard of.

12. Blindness ($2.2 million): Hmph. That’ll show Hollywood to piss off the National Federation for the Blind. How the hell, with a cast that includes Mark Ruffalo, Julliane Moore, and Gael Garcia Bernal, does a movie based on novel from a Nobel-prize winner tank this hard? I’m guessing there won’t be a film adaptation of Jose Saramango’s follow-up, Seeing. Now, that’s a movie that should’ve pissed off the blind.

We’ll have a review of Blindness up early this week.

11. Flash of Genius ($2.3 million): I sort of figured, when I saw a television advert for this movie, boasting, “You’ll never look at windshield wipers the same,” that it didn’t have a chance at the box-office. It wasn’t for lack of marketing, though — they nearly burned that Dave Mathews song into my brain, enough so that I was half-tempted to see it myself. Then I remembered it was about windshield wipers.

We’ll have a review up this afternoon.

10. Religulous ($3.5 million): Another new entry this week, Bill Maher’s doc on religion actually fared decently for what it was. In fact, after one week, it’s already the 25th biggest documentary of all time; believe it or not, it’s the third-highest opening for a documentary, ever. Take that, Fireproof.

We’ll have a review up probably tomorrow.

9. An American Carol ($3.8 million): A right-wing political comedy? Yeah. No thanks. What the hell happened to David Zucker, people? He went from Airplane! to a movie starring Trace Adkins as the Angel of Death. It’s good to see Kevin Farley getting some work, but there’s just no reason this movie needed to be made. We may or may not review it this week, depending on my mood.

5. Appaloosa ($5 million; $5.5 million): This was a surprise addition to the top five, increasing over 3,000 percent from its opening weekend. I attribute the success solely to the Appaloosa ads that have been running damn near non-stop on our site over the last week. See, advertisers: It works to advertise on Pajiba, even if we did give your movie a mediocre review. (Now, let’s see how “Kath and Kim” does in its debut this Thursday — I hope it’s worth shitting Molly Shannon’s face all over our site, NBC).

4. Nights in Rodanthe ($7.2 million; $25 million): Fun fact: Rodanthe is the easternmost city in North Carolina. There are no hotels in the area, only three bed and breakfasts. The city also celebrates Christmas on January 6th, because they are Satan-loving communists.

3. Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist ($12 million): A moderately successful open bodes well for Michael Cera and next year’s Youth in Revolt adaption, where Cera plays Nick Twisp. A piece of advice for Cera: Don’t fuck it up.

2. Eagle Eye ($17 million; $57 million): Well, that did it: Eagle Eye was the top-grossing September opener of 2008, edging out Burn After Reading. That’s the power of Shia, y’all. Give into it.

1. Beverly Hills Chihuahua ($29 million): When there are as many opening movies as there were this weekend, I tend to assign the “informative” reviews on the weekend — i.e., the ones I expect our readers will want to know about before deciding to go — and saving the “entertaining” reviews for the following week — i.e., movies our readers will probably have absolutely no interest in beyond reading the review. I think I correctly pegged Nick and Norah, but I was totally off on How to Lose Friends. Turns out, my worst prediction was thinking that absolutely no one would go see a movie about a pampered Chihuahua. Once again, I’ve overestimated the intelligence of America. Nearly $30 million, folks. That is sick. No. That is embarrassing. Even worse, there were a fair number of major critics who praised the movie. And I just want to take a second to call those out, in case you wanted to cancel your subscriptions: The Washington Post, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Sacramento Bee, The Toronto Star, The St. Paul Pioneer Express, L.A. Weekly, The Hollywood Reporter, Newsday, The Los Angeles Daily News, Arizona Republic, The Seattle Times and The San Francisco Chronicle.

And we wonder why print reviews are dying.


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The Weekly Box-Office Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Box Office Round-Ups | October 6, 2008 | Comments ()




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