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September 22, 2008 | Comments ()


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The Would You Rather Edition

The Weekly Box-Office Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Box Office Round-Ups | September 22, 2008 | Comments ()


8. Ghost Town ($5 million): Would you rather work in the Wernham Hogg Paper Company under David Brent or Dunder Mifflin under Michael Scott? (My answer: Wernham Hogg, baby. You’re paid in pounds!)

5. Righteous Kill ($7.7 million; $28 million): Would you rather watch Al Pacino or Robert DeNiro? Naked? In a musical? (My answer: Pacino, of course. I bet his penis deflates every time he yells, “Hoo ha!”)

4. Igor ($8 million): Would you rather have great sex with Steve Buscemi with the lights on or lousy sex with John Cusack with the lights off? (My answer: Lousy with Cusack. I guess).

3. My Best Friend’s Girl ($8.3 million): You’re trapped in a dark room, chained to a chair, and forced to watch, Kubrick-style, 36 straight hours of movies. Would you rather watch Dane Cook’s movies on a loop, or Eli Roth’s? (My answer: Eli Roth. At least he’s not actually in his movies.).

2. Burn After Reading ($11 million; $36 million): Ladies: Would you rather have a 24-hour lovemaking session with George Clooney or Brad Pitt (My answer: N/A). Men: Same question, only Holly Hunter or Frances McDormand? (My answer: McDormand.)

1. Lakeview Terrace ($15.6 million): You meet Sam Jackson on the street. You can ask him to deliver one of his signature lines. Which line would you rather he deliver:

1) “Say WHAT, one more time motherfucker?”
2) “I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”
3) “You know me. It’s my duty to please that booty.”
4) “AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes.”

(My answer: I’m sorry, but with all due respect to the superiority of Pulp Fiction, I gotta go with Snakes on a Plane).



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