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The Weekly Box-Office Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Box Office Round-Ups | November 17, 2008 | Comments (62)


5. Changeling ($4.2 million; $27 million): Goddamnit, this movie just won’t go away, clinging to the top 5 now in its 5th week. Granted, it’s only made back half its budget, but if it continues to sleeper perform, I’m gonna feel obligated to see it myself, and I have the opposite of interest in seeing Angelina Jolie in that awful hat. Here’s a fun fact: For the movie, Jolie had to learn to roller skate in high heels. Did women in the 1920s actually roller skate in high heels? Bloody hell. How do you even manage that? I’m confused.

4. High School Musical 3: Senior Year: ($5.8 million; $84 million): Given the level of brain damage inflicted by HSM 3, I have no idea why the MPAA would give it a G rating. You’d think it get at least a PG-13 just for the amount of sucking Zac Effron does.

3. Role Models ($11 million; $38 million): Fact: Role Models is now the 1,391st highest grossing film in the history of movies. That’s the power of Paul Rudd, folks.

And all right, ladies. Here’s a question for you: Would You Rather? Louis Skolnick or McLovin?

mcskolnic.jpg

2. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa: ($36 million; $118 million): I’m actually fairly surprised that Madagascar 2 is doing as well as it has, given the controversy that’s erupted over the miscegenation of the zebras. We truly have evolved socially in this country when some right-wing nutbag is not crawling out of the woodwork bitching about the mating of mixed-race horses.

Fun Fact: There’s still no fun facts to be unearthed here. The movie, however, was written by Etan Cohen. Who the hell names their kid Etan? That’s a name that’s just begging for people to correct you on the spelling of your own name.

1. Quantum of Solace ($70 million): Ho-lee. That $70 million opening is the best opening all time for a Bond film, topping Die Another Day by a $23 million and number 3, Casino Royale by $30 million. Hell, in one weekend, Quantum of Solace just outgrossed 16 other Bond films. For the record, the worst performing Bond film, Dr. No ($16 million, overall) also featured the Hottest Bond girl. Then again, $16 million was probably worth more in 1963.Actually, I can tell you: $16 million in 1963, adjusted for inflation, is $132 million. In fact, adjusted for inflation, the $63 million that Thunderball made in 1965 makes it the 26th highest grossing film of all time, and the $51 million that Goldfinger earned in 1964 makes it the 40th highest grossing film of all time. Adjusted for inflation, I do believe that The Living Daylights is actually the worst performing Bond film. And that was Timothy Dalton, so it hardly even qualifies as a Bond film.

I’m just a fountain of useless box-office knowledge.

Finally, Gemma Arterton, if she were a natural redhead, would’ve jumped to number two on our top 5 hottest redheads of all time.


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Comments

Skolnick.

He knows how to work his lightsaber... And a bouncey house.

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 9:06 AM

HA! stick THAT up your Bourne!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 17, 2008 9:16 AM

I prefer McLovin's take on the post-modern nerd. He's aware of society but ultimately rejects it in favor of his own. I think the fact that he considers himself "gangsta" makes it all the better. He will not be shoehorned into your horn-rimmed glasses or pocket protectors. There's a little of McLovin in all of us. (Again, Save Me. I am trapped in this class. It is not technically against my will but ... help. )

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 17, 2008 9:19 AM

Would You Rather? Louis Skolnick or McLovin?

"Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex."

Still one of my favorite movie lines.

Posted by: branded at November 17, 2008 9:25 AM

Timothy Dalton has sure made some gems. Bitter Suite/Time Share, anyone???

Sarina, I know I can count on you for this one. Tell me you own it. Tell me you own it and that you'll make a copy of it and send it to me.

Posted by: Sofía at November 17, 2008 9:30 AM

"So I told her what time it was."

Jigga, Jigga yeah.

Posted by: admin at November 17, 2008 9:45 AM

Optimus, darling, I made a song with you in mind and it's posted on the facebook group. Just, uh... try to ignore my creepy fingers...

Posted by: Sofía at November 17, 2008 9:49 AM

That's going viral. I am telling everyone about this.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 17, 2008 9:52 AM

horn-rimmed glasses

Ok, for one, those are sexy. Two, while McLovin absolutely presents a more "three-dimensional" nerd, the question is not "Which nerd are you?" the question is "Which nerd would you do?" And even though McLovin is ultimately lovable and sweet, Skolnick seems like he'd be more... equipped, so to speak, to get the job done.

Also, McLovin looks exactly like a friend of mine and since he and I are firmly in the "friend zone," it'd be uber-weird.

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 9:53 AM

Just keep in mind that I work at a high-profile university.

Oh, and I expect at least half of all the Internet dollars we're about to make.

Posted by: Sofía at November 17, 2008 10:02 AM

I have an even better question for you ladies: Would you Rather? Pookie or Vermillion? Keep in mind Vermillion thinks women are eeewwwww.

Posted by: Pookie at November 17, 2008 10:13 AM

To answer your question: both.

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 10:15 AM

As well as making me look hapless, the comments apparently aren't transmitting to the front page for the "recent" and "number of".

Pajiba's illin!

(but if it's just me I wouldn't be surprised, with this decrepit machine here that sounds like a jet readying for takeoff should any Java or Flash decide to do something)

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 10:21 AM

"You'd think it get at least a PG-13 just for the amount of sucking Zac Effron does."

*heeheehee*

That is all.

Posted by: meaux at November 17, 2008 10:25 AM

McLovin seriously looks about nine years old to me, and I'm 26... so I can't even make myself imagine doing anything to him beyond patting him on the head and telling him he'll grow into his glasses. Skolnick for the win!

Posted by: b at November 17, 2008 10:37 AM

Jay, you're postie thingie makes a noise?

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 10:38 AM

Jay, your postie thingie makes a noise?

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 10:38 AM

i wonder if QOS had the biggest marketing budget of any bond film. did you guys know that the average hollywood movie has a 1:1 marketing/production budget. so a 50 million dollar movie would have a 50 million dollar marketing blitz.... crazy as fuck, eh?

Posted by: celery at November 17, 2008 10:39 AM

Skolnick knows how to please the ladies. Later, he could do my taxes, install spyware on my computer and run a load of whites. He wins.

Posted by: Amelia Bedelia at November 17, 2008 10:43 AM

Quantum of Solace wasn't that great. They just picked a fantastic weekend on which to open it. When Madagascar 2 and High School freaking Musical 3 are your biggest competitors, that's $50 million G's for free.

Posted by: BAM at November 17, 2008 10:52 AM

Jay, your postie thingie makes a noise?

It goes "ping".

Actually, I'm not sure what you mean, but the computer at "my desk" kicks the fan up to a ridiculous speed and volume whenever it's negotiating modernly tricked out sites or, egad, a few browser tabs. It was like "you guys want an extra computer there? We got one over here and *insert dust coughing fit*".

(my name's not on it or nothin, it's just where I usually sit in the office, but no land came with my title)

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 10:59 AM

Jay my work computer (a Windows OS/ Gateway Laptop) does that sometimes... But it's also a lumbering beast in a lot of different ways. And I kind of want to drop it into a river because it decided none of the files/preferences/life it had before needed to exist any more.

My Mac never whirrs like a jet plane. :)

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 11:10 AM

Bah. Enough of this. Bring on the music.

Buttholeville!

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 17, 2008 11:16 AM

And yet, I still prefer the hot bolivian agent with the DSLs. QoS deserved the number 1, I don't care what you say.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at November 17, 2008 11:29 AM

Well, "laptop"'s your problem. Hot little weaklings.

And I said that thing's old! Begone with your trash talk (also, that's because your Mac is a stoned slacker).

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 11:39 AM

Ha! So says you! My Mac is straight-edge and a laptop. However I did get one drop of raspberry Iced Tea under my keys and now four keys don't work so I keep it at home with a keyboard plugged in. But other than that my Mac is strong like an ox! Also it's always nice to me when I'm writing a last minute paper.

My lumbering beast is kind of like Strong Mad. Woah, I just made a Homestar reference, did I just fall into 2004?

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 11:48 AM

Uh, more like 2000? Where were you for four years? Watchin Buffy?? Yeah I still wear my Strong Bad shirt and check in with the scroll bars! You got something else to say about my old schoolmate Mike?!?


Sorry...it's just.....you mentioned 2004. Things went WRONG in 2004, and they've only really gotten right again this year.

Oh please! Oh...just...........just go away!! *weeps like Lokar*

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 11:59 AM

Oh, Jay, you're adorable.

But I think I only really got into Homestar about 2001. Strongbad e-mails pretty much owned my life through High School. Can't for the life of me figure out why that may have been a deterrent for dates...

Also, good Jorb on the Lokar reference.

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 12:08 PM

I am also, of course, OLD, plus we knew Mike so it was "hey, him and his brother have some kinda cartoon thing". Cause I'm all 2nd and 3rd degree of Athens cool, you know. Yeah, that gets you a lot in life.

Can't for the life of me figure out why that may have been a deterrent for dates...

So then you would've been impressed that I saw Strong Bad sing "Everybody To The Limit" live on New Year's Eve 02/03 then? Guess we was just in the wrong place!

Also, probably illegal.

Yes, "Birdman Coast To Coast pilot" is one of my favorite episodes, and I NEVER tire of quoting him in the telethon episode. People never tire of not knowing what in the hell I am talking about.

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 12:18 PM

I don't think I've been to the HR site in years. I hear Strong Bad's got like a real actual video game now, but I haven't seen it.

Posted by: Snath at November 17, 2008 12:34 PM

So then you would've been impressed that I saw Strong Bad sing "Everybody To The Limit" live on New Year's Eve 02/03 then?

Would have been? Hell, I'm impressed now. That is so cool! And you know Mike! My high school heart that lives beneath my cynical collegiate one is squee-ing! Also, you're not old; my great grandma is old and she's 95, but also awesome. However...

Also, probably illegal.

I was going to make a totally unclassy joke about age of consent laws in the south, yadda yadda yadda, but I figured that would also lead to a "daddy wielding a shotgun" punchline and that'd just be no fun.

But, I am legal enough to buy alcohol. So please, lemme buy you a round for reminding me to watch that episode on YouTube right now (instead of writing a paper).

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 12:35 PM

My Mac got a little moist and now my delete key won't work. Had to rig it up so my frontslash is a forward delete. This somehow makes my Mac unusable by anyone else. I think of it as my Millennium Falcon.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 17, 2008 12:43 PM

moist

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 17, 2008 12:45 PM

Optimus Does your scrappy blonde-haired friend say, "What a piece of junk!" whenever he sees it? And then when he does, do you insist that she can go point five past Lightspeed? And then when he asks how fast "point five past Lightspeed" is, do you tell him to find some other ride?

No? Didn't think so.

I call my Mac "Baby," because nobody puts Baby in a corner!

Also, Jay, is it weird that I got sad watching the pilot ep when i realized Gary Cole wasn't voice Harvey Birdman?... It's weird. Oh well. Now all I wanna do is watch some H.Birdman at law!!!

Snath, there is a game, but I haven't played it.

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 12:53 PM

Of course one should always bear in mind that I'm in the South, but not of it, being from the Northern/Caribbean colony of south Florida. My friend told me yesterday that I'd make a lot more sense if I actually was Jewish, rather than the mutant swarthy WASP that I am.

Speaking of mutants, these kids today with their jacked up dairy, beef and poultry! Like the sign says, card anyone who looks under 27. Or, once again, date a FULL GROOOOOOOWN woman, like Mr. Spencer recommended. Remember what The King said: 17'll get you 20.

But yes, I'll take a drink, thank you.

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 12:54 PM

Kayanne, you ought to know that I have tried as hard as I could to engineer that conversation. It's just too pretty. They could never call it junk.
Jay, you are not alone on that mutant thing. Where are these high schoolers coming from that they can grow more hair on their knuckles than I can on my face?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 17, 2008 1:06 PM

Why'd I think Gary Cole was Judge Mightor? I didn't know he was Harvey. Hmmm.


"A little bird told me that if you tell them Avenger sent you...the propane tanks are free! So long! kiss kiss!

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 1:15 PM

I'd totally do Louis. You know he'd be all nervous and you could easily get him to do anything you wanted, and then he'd be awesome because he's probably read a lot about...things.

McLovin' is younger than me, and I just don't do that.

Posted by: figgy at November 17, 2008 1:16 PM

Young kids today are mutants, Optimus & Jay, which makes it even stranger when some big lug of a guy starts hitting on you and calling you "ma'am" and then telling you about how high school is going and all you wanted was someone to bag your groceries, but you're afraid that any sudden movements might agitate the beast. *sighs and shakes head* Kids today.

Even more terrifying? The ladies that are under, but look older than me. And they flirt with older guys! Seriously, I feel sorry for you guys.

Jay, I live in good ol' North Carolina and while I was raised here and I love and claim it as my homestate, I wasn't born here. In fact I was born in Maryland and all my family still lives there. This too makes me a weird Southerner. My Italian last name also makes me stand-out. Eh.

Optimus I know your Mac is pretty; it is the blessing and curse of all Macs that Mac owners must bear. But you HAVE to make that conversation happen. YOU. HAVE. TO.

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 1:20 PM

That's also a very hot photo up there.

I need to watch this movie NOW. But since we only get one good movie here every six months or so, everyone goes to watch it on the SAME week so that the theaters end up so crowded you have to sit on the stairs. So I'll have to wait.

True story, I had to sit on the stairs for The Return of the King. I got up to go to the bathroom and couldn't get back to my seat. Stupid country.

Posted by: figgy at November 17, 2008 1:21 PM

Will someone get this woman to Texas, already?

With the verkockte comment engine today I'm tempted to make a "your pussy's so big" joke. But then they'd work right and make me look silly.

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 1:29 PM

Optimus Your computer is "moist"?! Ew. Ewww.

Just stop wanking in front of it! Geez.

Posted by: figgy at November 17, 2008 1:29 PM

Will someone get this woman to Texas, already?

With the verkockte comment engine today I'm tempted to make a "your pussy's so big" joke. But then they'd work right and make me look silly.

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 1:30 PM

Oi! Dustin asked!

*grumble*

Posted by: figgy at November 17, 2008 1:36 PM

Jay, Two things:

1.) "Any upright anthropomorph with an appendage or two can tickle the ivories."

2.) What about Texas and big pussies? Everything's bigger in Texas?

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 1:37 PM

Oh wait you weren't talking about me.

Never mind!

*goes back to hiding in the shadows*

Posted by: figgy at November 17, 2008 1:45 PM

1) McLovin.

2) Etan is usually spelled Eitan, but either way it's a transliteration, so there's no "correct" English spelling.. Fun Eitan fact: I was once sleeping with TWO guys named Eitan during the same period of time.

Posted by: Kat at November 17, 2008 1:47 PM

Oh, unrelated to Texas, just a "Predator" dialogue joke about echoes.

Posted by: Jay at November 17, 2008 1:50 PM

"Predator"

*throws up hands in exasperation* And we're back on the under-aged thing again.

Ha, just kidding, I know that's a movie about a scary alien thing. With teeth. I'm not really alerting Chris Hansen.

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 1:59 PM

Re: Harvey Birdman, Attorney @ Law,

Ha Ha Ha, not to scale

Posted by: the_wakeful at November 17, 2008 2:00 PM

Don't mess with Texas. Just sayin'.

Posted by: stipe42 at November 17, 2008 2:05 PM

the_wakeful & Jay

Djya get that thing I sentchya?

Posted by: Kayanne at November 17, 2008 2:33 PM

WHATCHA!

Posted by: the_wakeful at November 17, 2008 2:39 PM

Did you.... Get .... That.... Thing..... I sent ya. The prosecution rests.

Figgy, That is uncalled for in these hallowed halls. Orgies and flesh cheetoes, yes. But wanking on my Beloved Mac is a low blow (And Not in the Good Way! Whoo Whoo Whoop!)

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 17, 2008 3:38 PM

Hee.

I had to, dude! It was just sitting there, wide open, waiting (nay, begging!) for me to take it!

Really, it was your own fault.

Posted by: figgy at November 17, 2008 4:31 PM

Aww, Figster. You know I can't stay mad at you.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 17, 2008 4:41 PM

You'd think it get at least a PG-13 just for the amount of sucking Zac Effron does.

The movie isn't about his extracurricular activities you know.

Posted by: Melody at November 17, 2008 5:16 PM

Where's the Olga Kurylenko love? She was infinitely more smokin' then Gemma Whatsherface.

Posted by: TL at November 17, 2008 7:42 PM

Bwahahaa!

Yes, that's my greatest power.

Posted by: figgy at November 17, 2008 9:35 PM

HEY! Say what you will, but Timothy Dalton is one of the most underrated Bonds; right next to George Lazenby. (I give Laz the benefit of the doubt because he only got one film, and it takes as much to finally get comfortable with the role...compare Brosnan in Goldeneye to Brosnan in The World is Not Enough. He was more self assured, and more easy going with his job in TWINE. Also, OHMSS happens to be one of my favorites from the Classic Bond era.)

Living Daylights was a solid film, and License to Kill seems like the prototype for what would eventually happen in Casino Royale. Minimal (if any) gadgets, and a more human (read: more dangerous) Bond.

Posted by: Mike R. at November 18, 2008 9:52 AM

"Timothy Dalton has sure made some gems. Bitter Suite/Time Share, anyone???

Sarina, I know I can count on you for this one. Tell me you own it. Tell me you own it and that you'll make a copy of it and send it to me."

Sofi, I didn't see this until just now because I have been busy with the ruination of my eyesight in literary areas -- although I use the term "literary" so loosely that it's really a flagrant abuse of language. But anyway, the point is that I'm way behind in this joint and I just now saw what you said, and I have to tell you... I have no idea what that means. Is Bitter Suite/Time Share a movie? I've never even heard of it.

As far as I can recall, the one and only Timothy Dalton movie I've ever seen was The Beautician and the Beast, which I saw with my mother and aunt. That movie was fucking terrible, though, so does it still count? I don't actually own it or anything, but if it were on television I can pretty much guarantee you I'd watch it. Because there are things wrong with me which cannot be fixed.

Posted by: Sarina at November 18, 2008 3:52 PM

Skolnick, his glasses are far better than McLovin.

Posted by: ph at November 18, 2008 4:22 PM