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December 1, 2008 |

By Dustin Rowles | Box Office Round-Ups | December 1, 2008 |

7. Transporter 3 ($12.3 million; $18 million): Not a bad showing. In fact, if you include the extended holiday , Transporter 3 had the biggest opening of the three films. It’s also Statham’s third best opener, behind The Italian Job and The One. I know. I know. All you folks care about is whether he took off his shirt. I’d put money on it, but Prisco will be along in the next hour with a review, which will hopefully confirm it for you.

6. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa ($14 million; $159 million): Madagascar 2 is moving on up the all-time CGI animation charts, passing Over the Hedge and landing at number 20 this week, and it looks like it’ll make a pretty good run, landing somewhere around number 16 all time, right ahead of Polar Express and right behind Toy Story. Hey! That’s a Tom Hanks sandwich. Hey! Nobody wants a Tom Hanks sandwich.

5. Australia ($14 million; $20 million): Didn’t I tell you nobody would be that interested in seeing cattle bombed by war planes on an open range? In fact, of the $20 million in receipts Australia made since Wednesday, $18 million of that was made up entirely of people who wanted to see Hugh Jackman without a shirt. And let me tell you: Nobody brings in the gays like Jackman. Nobody. Unfortunately, he’ll never bring in enough people to make up the $130 million budget. Oh, and hey Baz! Forget about that Oscar gold, buddy. It ain’t happening this year.

4. Quantum of Solace ($19.5 million; $142 million): You know what’s great for a good laugh? The iMDB message boards. Where else are you going to find a busy message thread with the topic, “Anyone else get a boner from the naked girl covered in oil?” I should note, also, that the naked girl covered in oil, for those who haven’t seen the movie, was dead. Here’s a comment in that thread, “i got a raging boner at the sight of her oiled up ass!” Who are these people? They are the only people in the world more pathetic than starred reviewers.

3. Twilight ($26 million; $120 million): By the end of today, Twilight will officially become the highest grossing vampire film of all time, after only 10 days of release. But you know what? All in all, vampire flicks really do blow. Here’s a few interesting notes: There have only been three vampire movies to make $100 million: Twilight, Van Helsing and Interview with a Vampire. The Blade Trilogy holds three positions in the top eight, all time. And, of the top 45 vampire films of all time, only four are worth watching more than once: Lost Boys, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cronos and From Dusk til Dawn, and a couple of those are borderline.

2. Bolt ($26.5 million; $69 million): Hmph. Not only did Bolt beat out last week’s number one film, Twilight (which nearly tripled Bolt’s opening weekend), but it actually made more this weekend than it did last weekend, a very rare thing for wide releases. I have nothing else to add, so let’s stroll over to the iMDB message board and see what they have to say. Hmmm. Here’s one: “This movie was clearly RACIST! A very lovable White dog with a feisty Black cat living in the alley. Can you be any more racist?” I don’t think so. Bolt was clearly racist. Says so right there on the Internets.

1. Four Christmases ($31 million; $46 million): Not only did Four Christmases clean up with nearly $50 million over the holiday weekend (becoming Reese Witherspoon’s second biggest opening), there are no other major holiday films the rest of the season. Four Christmases is gonna be in the top five until Christmas, goddamnit. And Vince Vaughn is gonna feel emboldened to ruin more Christmas films in the future. I’m going to predict a final tally of $115 million, putting it at number six, all time, among Christmas films. Meanwhile, what do we have to look forward to next from Vaughn? Ugh. A movie called Couples Retreat, directed by his buddy and A Christmas Story’s Ralphie, Peter Billingsley, and written by Jon Favreau. It stars Jason Bateman, Kristen Bell, Malin Ackerman, and Kristen Davis, among others, and it’s about a couples’ retreat that devolves into wacky hi-jinx. Sounds like a money grab to me.

We have completely lost Vaughn, folks. He’s strictly studio material now. You’re officially off the man-crush list, brother.

The Weekly Box-Office Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Box Office Round-Ups | December 1, 2008 |

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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