Shirt Off McConaughey

I Think This’d Be a Good Scene For Me to Take My Shirt Off, Mr. Soderbergh

The Weekly Box Office Round-Up / The Eloquents

Box Office Round-Ups | February 6, 2008 | Comments (105)

25. In Bruges, Weekend: $471,000: “Sigh. At this point, all I ask is that at the end of a film I don’t say, ‘Meh,’ or ‘Well, that’s 2 hours I’ll never get back.’ This one fits the bill.” — Fabiola

“I’m probably way too happy with the headline for this one. But I am a simple man, and easily pleased.” — Dan, over on Slowly Going Bald

24. Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show, Weekend:$507,000: “Peek behind the Pajiba curtain: FYI, Dustin bears more than a little resemblance to Vince Vaughn … ” — Ted Boynton

“Uh, Vince Vaughn is so gross.” — TT

6. 27 DressesWeekend: $5.7 million ; Total: $65 million: “Seriously, will ~~Skank Cancer~~ Rainbow Killer ( —Ed.) ever go away? My god, it’s like she’s got some box office invincibility suit. I’m starting to feel as if we will never be rid of her, she’s everywhere! In the case of nuclear annihilation, the only living creatures remaining will be cockroaches and this bargain-bin Ashley Judd wannabe, and the cockroaches won’t last long because eventually she’ll roll ‘em up and smoke ‘em. GO. AWAY. NOW! — Pudenda

5. Juno, Weekend: $5.7 million ; Total: $117 million: (Unrelated) “I never cease to be amazed by the fact that Rhona Mitra has managed to build a career based solely on having spent a while dressing up as Lara Croft from Tomb Raider for photoshoots. Especially since there have been about three other ‘real-life’ Lara Crofts that I can recall, and all of the others are presumably carting trolley-loads of tins around darkened alleyways and shouting at lampposts now. — Dill the Devil

“Is anyone else posting comments more frequently than before in the vain hope of turning up in one of these round-ups? — Dill the Devil

4. The Eye, Weekend: $6 million; Total:$21 million: “I know this is coming in really late, but is she screaming into an oven? That’s what it looks like. It appears that she’s yelling at something in her oven. A roast maybe? Did a quiche fall? Cookies burn? Did she accidentally put an animal in the oven? What the fuck is going on here?!” — Skittimus Maximus

“WHY IS SHE SCREAMING AT THE OVEN??!!! (…crickets chirping…) I’m…so…alone …” — Skittimus Maximus

“THE GODDAMED OVEN!!! WHY IS SHE YELLING IN AN OVEN??!! Fertheluvvagawd, somebody please answer so I don’t have to spend any money on answering this question … So… cold…. (sob)… the oven, why?” Skittimus Maximus

3. Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus, Weekend: $10 million ; Total:$53 million: “My boyfriend’s six year old watches the Hannah Montanna show. She just sits there and zones, does not laugh, and when I ask her what’s going on, sometimes she can’t tell me. She insists that she loves it, though.” — phquaryn

“This movie looked like it was about a 5-footer on the scale of how long a length of barbed wire I’d rather pull out of my ass than watch it. Maybe 6 … — Canology

(Quoting the Kamikaze Feminist)”My daughter, whenever I have kids, will be brought up on Fiona Apple and Marlo Thomas, no god damn Hannah Montana.”

“Aw, darlin’, spoken like a true non-parent.

Lemme shatter a few illusions for you.

You will watch Barney. You will come to appreciate his genius.

You will, gladly, sing “Holly Jolly Christmas” sixty-five times in a row on a long car trip.

You’ll know what day and time the Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards air.

You will not only know who the latter-day equivalent of the Jonas Brothers are, you will know which of their songs you find most bearable. You will buy their CDs for your child’s birthday.

Not only will your daughter read “Cosmo Girl”, you will be paying for it.

You will own Barbies. There will be Bratz or similar merchandise in your home.

Your kid will ADORE Fiona Apple and Marlo Thomas, right up till she’s nine. That’s the official eye-rolling parents-are-SO-lame age.

You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

And most of y’all are of the generation whose nostalgia for all things good and wholesome made “Transformers” a summer blockbuster. So please, the soap box looks a little too lofty for you.” — Wednesday

2. Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, Weekend: $17 million: We’re running this review tomorrow; we have a brand new critic on board specifically for Martin Lawrence films. So, here’s some of my favorite off-topic quotes on the site this week — DR:

“I think my husband is totally afraid I’m having some kind of internet affair. His paranoia is rather sweet actually.” Alabamapink

“I prefer my men like I prefer my coffee - hot & tangible.” — Kolby

“For a second I thought this was going to be about a remake of The Breakfast Club. I would have set the internet on fire and killed us all, just to spare us the suffering. That’s how much I love you guys.” — TK

“TK, I love you. Please, please kill me before Hollywood completely rapes my soul and robs me of what is left of my dignity.” — dammitjanet

1. Fool’s Gold, Weekend: $22 million: “The idiocy of the people who made this clunker is off-the-charts. They’re banking it solely on the malodorous shoulders of the shirtless Mac’ who can’t open a movie to save his life. Seriously the man is *this* close to being the white Wesley Snipes and moving to Romania to start putting out straight to DVD/Internet “features.” — Barbado Slim

“BTW, McGreasy was shirtless for most of the movie but was bottomless for only a millisecond. Fair? I think not.” — Kris

“Now I gotta go find Matt Damon’s impersonation of McConaughey on Youtube. ‘I think this’d be a good scene for me to take my shirt off, Mr. Soderbergh.’” — BFFFredo

And this, folks, is a special visual treat from Rebeccah. And it fucking rocks:

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Comments

Roy Scheider's dead. I guess all those people who say celebrities die in threes can say they were right.

Posted by: Todd at February 11, 2008 8:35 AM

The box office represents the sad state of affairs in this country.

Posted by: Cindy at February 11, 2008 8:36 AM

It's depressing to see "In Burges" and "Vince Vaughn" being so low on the chart.

But at least I can sleep a little easier knowing that Paris Hilton celluloid abortion of a movie opened very low, lower than the rest.

Posted by: Jim at February 11, 2008 8:46 AM

I win Pajiba! I win Pajiba!

Posted by: BFFredo at February 11, 2008 9:00 AM

Whiskeybabyninjastar! is beautiful, man. Sniff.

Posted by: Kolby at February 11, 2008 9:04 AM

Jim;

$25,000, from what I heard. And Paris could have easily bought that many tickets herself.

Posted by: twig at February 11, 2008 9:35 AM

A moment of silence for Chief Brody first?

...

Thank you. If that design isn't made into a shirt, I swear I'll be devastated.

"we have a brand new critic on board specifically for Martin Lawrence films" - Christ, talk about pulling the short fucking straw.

Wait. It's not me, is it?

[glances around]

Is it?

[shudder]

Posted by: TK at February 11, 2008 9:49 AM

So, when can we expect the review for Paris' masterpiece, anyway?

It's getting kind of sad, the way I now look forward to the release of abominable movies. Thanks, Pajiba.

Posted by: MO at February 11, 2008 9:50 AM

So, when can we expect the review for Paris' masterpiece, anyway?

You're going to make him go back to the blank review this soon?

Posted by: twig at February 11, 2008 9:56 AM

Tester

Posted by: Amanda47 at February 11, 2008 9:56 AM

(Sorry about above. I couldn't post earlier due to evil Insurance ad.)

Two observations on the weekend:

"We're gonna need a bigger boat."

and

I *heart* Jason Bateman. Absolutely hilarious and freewheeling at the Grammys last night. Get that man a hosting job!

Posted by: Amanda47 at February 11, 2008 9:58 AM

I missed (obviously) Skittimus' Eye postings, and I must say, I'm glad I saw them here as they made me laugh so hard I was crying. Don't know why they tickled me so much, but it brightened my Monday.

Posted by: pinkcheese at February 11, 2008 10:11 AM

I like bitchy and scathing as much as the next Pajiban, especially with such an easy target as Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, but please. Don't pay to watch it. Buy a ticket to something else and sneak in. I look forward to the movie's decimation, but don't give 'em any more money. Pretty please??

Posted by: Dangle McGee at February 11, 2008 10:14 AM

Re, new critic for Martin Lawrence films, so what pseudo-pseudonym will Pookie be reviewing under?

Whiskeybabyninjastar brightened my morning so much. Thank you collective twisted Pajiban brains for inventing this creature.

What is with the evil insurance ad?

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 11, 2008 10:20 AM

*sigh*

I will now a) date myself and b) out myself as something of a weirdo: Roy Scheider was my first screen crush. I fell head over heels for him in Jaws. No Robert Redfords or Burt Reynoldses for me (too bland). I was just old enough to begin lusting, and I lusted for this man.

Now he's dead. I guess I'll go get fitted for my walker. Or maybe my shroud.

Those of you who haven't seen The Seven-Ups have missed THE greatest car chase scene ever filmed, bar none.

http://imdb.com/title/tt0070672/

Off to Netflix with you!

Posted by: Jerce at February 11, 2008 10:22 AM

Whiskeybabyninjastar! has officially made my week, it's all downhill from here people (with the possible exception of Thursday, that's right folks: it's Tequilamas! my very favourite holiday.)

Also: Kolby's coffee comment actually made me choke with laughter the first time I read it, yet another of her pearls of wisdom that I intend on stealing and using as my own.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 11, 2008 10:29 AM

I'm home sick today and Skittimus's "so cold" comments had me laughing till my migraine intensified...so thanks for that.

Rebbecah, the Whiskeybabyninjastar! is so amazing.

Posted by: Julie at February 11, 2008 10:29 AM

Jerce, I think 52 Pickup is seriously underrated as well, and I've seen Blue Thunder way more times than it deserves. I really liked him and was always disappointed that his film career sort of underperformed. He made some questionable choices in the '80s and never fully recovered career-wise, resulting in some major lost opportunities for a guy who just radiated quiet, cerebral cool.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 11, 2008 10:32 AM

It's so nice to have a laugh this early in the work week. Loved Skittimus Maximus' oven comments as well as the YouTube clip. Hilarious!

Also intrigued by the idea of a special reviewer for Martin Lawrence films. Does this person also have to review all future Eddie Murphy flicks? Ice Cube movies?

Speaking of Martin Lawrence, I do have to say that I really enjoyed his 1997 film with Tim Robbins, Nothing to Lose. But maybe that was just me?

Posted by: tamatha at February 11, 2008 10:42 AM

tamatha, I remember that one! I loved that movie...I use it as an example of how Lawrence can actually do good comedy if given the proper costar and director.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 11, 2008 10:50 AM

sniff....(pours a 40 for Roy)...sniff. I loved the first 2 Jaws movies when I was a kid. Since I already had it my queue, I am moving Marathon Man up to the top. It any good?

Is it wrong that I am upset I didn't I didn't make this week's roundup.

I love that graphic! Love the forehead tatoo (or is it the first whisps of hair?). In the risk of outing my comic book geekines, very Moon Knightish.

Oh, that Damon video is great. That is all for now (damm staff meeting)

Posted by: Brian at February 11, 2008 10:55 AM

Shadows of Dakaron, good to know I'm not the only one. :) And I share your perspective on how Nothing to Lose shows Mr. Lawrence's real potential.

Posted by: tamatha at February 11, 2008 10:56 AM

I made Alex laugh? My Monday is made.

Posted by: Kolby at February 11, 2008 11:03 AM

OK - yes, Matt Damon is a God. OK. Yeah. Nice teeth? Check. Good Hair? Check. Wicked Sense of humor? Check. Willing to trash talk his buddies on Letterman? Check.

As for the rehash parenting topic: Um - I hope that future mother continues to impose her musical choices on her children. Certainly she must, I imagine. Anyway - as a Shallow Transformer Generation Parent of two girls 7 and 13, I would say, while it's true that our children do eventually align with the media saturated path to the alter of commercialism, it's also true that some tiny speck of our morals (if you will) resonate with our children. I myself went through a very unfortunate musical period according to my father. While he was listening to Neil Young or Crosby, Stills and Nash, I was highmindedly and morosely taking in the mustical stylings of The Smiths. And, of course, the regrettable, complete fixation with The Police. Now of course, I love Neil Young and CSN, so there you have it. My daughters, in turn, like much of the music I've tried to brainwash them with. So, I say brainwash away while you can because some day you may be very surprised to hear a bit of Wilco and Billy Bragg or Led Zeppelin floating out of your kid's earphones.

And on that note for those still able and those hoping to massage the musical tastes of their young ones, I would recommend the following CDs: For the Kids, For the Kids, Too and Mary Had a Little Amp. There's a very stupid Madonna song on that last CD you could use a gauge for your kid's inherent musical tastes. I'm happy to report that my girls disliked it w nary a peep outta me. SUCCESS!

Posted by: GinKirk at February 11, 2008 11:07 AM

Re: Martin Lawrence... I'm sorry, I can't help myself - I fucking love Bad Boys. The rest of his stuff might be crap, but I just can't shake my genuine, brain-out-the-window love for that movie. Nothing to Lose wasn't bad either.

So here's something funny/weird... I read this:

I will now a) date myself and b) out myself as something of a weirdo: Roy Scheider was my first screen crush.

And the very first thing that popped into my head was "Jerce!" I'm not sure why. But it seemed worth mentioning.

Posted by: TK at February 11, 2008 11:13 AM

Also (jesus, I'm spending way too much time here), but I agree with GinKirk - you CAN affect your kids choices. Despite my love of punk rock, industrial, and hip hop, I also still love Love LOVE Cat Stevens, Simon and Garfunkel, Coltrane and Davis, and Marvin Gaye - all gifts from my dad. I knew the words to all of Concert In Central Park by the time I was 10. That shit sticks.

Posted by: TK at February 11, 2008 11:21 AM

Bye, Roy. We'll miss you.

And damn, Damon, does a good McConaughey impression. He probably got 3 movie roles out of that appearance.

Gotta say, though, McConaughey should have his shirt off as much as possible. If a movie sucks, it always helps to have some eye candy to pass the time.

Posted by: Slash at February 11, 2008 11:27 AM

tamatha and Shadows...

"Please don't kill me, Freaky Jason? I said 'PLEASE DON'T KILL ME, FREAKY JASON?!?!'"

Best Martin Lawrence moment ever put to film...granted it's a short list...

Posted by: Case at February 11, 2008 11:37 AM

Absolutely TK. Thanks to a steady diet of KROQ, whatever is on my IPod, classic musicals, and very limited exposure to modern Hip Hop, my daughters now know the words to several songs by Johnny Cash, Rise Against, Prince, and Alien Ant Farm. I'm convinced this will ensure them bright, happy futures filled with ironic t-shirts and ill conceived tattoos.

If anyone else is interested, I'll be conducting weekly parenting classes at Hooters, Bryman College, and the University of Phoenix.

Posted by: Manny at February 11, 2008 11:38 AM

I, too, currently adore music that my dad forced me to listen to in the car. Oldies, I believe they're called. You know what scares the shit out of me? That I now regularly hear Pearl Jam on the local classic rock station. Seriously.

All that AND I'm turning 30 in ten days. I'm not looking forward to it.

Posted by: Kolby at February 11, 2008 11:40 AM

ahhh - 30's the new... what is it now? The older the boomers get, the younger 30 gets.

So - here's a toast to Kolby! May you turn 30 over and over and over....

I will be 39 on 2/19 and I think I'll stay that way for a while. Seems a good fit.

Posted by: GinKirk at February 11, 2008 11:45 AM

TK: Your dad had you listening to some badass stuff...I, on the other hand, inherited a deep seated affection for The Moody Blues and E.L.O.

Thanks Dad. /sarcasm

Posted by: Julie at February 11, 2008 11:49 AM

Yeah for Whiskeybabyninjastar! And I saw it first! According to PissBoy, the graphic could make it onto to a shirt, but I think he was concerned about the color gradient on the baby's skin. (Don't quote me.)

As for the quote about parenting a child to ensure hip (read:YOUR) tastes, I have to agree with Wednesday in some respects. Your kids are going to be their own people, despite your best efforts. When I was pregnant, I firmly requested no sports-themed baby clothing so as to avoid encouraging the A Boy Must Be Jock cliché. Now what does the son of two professed nerds love, love, LOVE to watch? Football, basketball, and bull riding. Sigh.

My parents are youngish, and growing up I was fed a steady diet of Stones, Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and of course my dad's personal hero, Frank Zappa. I did my best to enjoy the kind of music that made my dad retch, like Madonna and George Michael. In high school, my friends thought my parents were so cool for being youthful, as opposed to their parents who listened to, I don't know, Perry Como and Johnny Mathis. I tried to explain that if their dad came downstairs and blasted "Dickie's Such an Asshole" and danced around like a moron while they were trying to watch "90210", then it wouldn't seem so fucking cool.

Posted by: Alabamapink at February 11, 2008 11:49 AM

My favorite part of 'Nothing to Lose' was the opening pillow talk between Tim Robbins' character and his wife. It was sweet and funny and established the relationship so well that twenty minutes later, I could really see why he would completely lose his shit at the thought that he'd lost her.

Posted by: twig at February 11, 2008 11:50 AM

Oh Matt Damon, you could charm the pants off anyone, even with your shirt on. Why can't more actors be like you?

Posted by: Agente Provocatrice at February 11, 2008 11:50 AM

Sigh, Kolby, you're so young. I enjoyed turning 30. As did the Main Squeeze. Hated 29, it seemed so lame--like I should simply be 30 already. Hope you have a fabulous celebration to ring in your next decade!

Posted by: tamatha at February 11, 2008 11:51 AM

I've decided that, instead of having a 30th birthday, I'm just going to celebrate the 1st anniversary of my 29th birthday.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that my dad was really into Elvis & old-school R&B, so I guess I lucked out.

Posted by: Kolby at February 11, 2008 11:57 AM

congrats, Kolby! I turned 30 earlier this year, and I have to say that I still don't feel a day over 22. I refuse to grow up...age is all in your head.

I'm very disappointed in myself. As much as I loved Nothing to Lose, I don't own that movie. Looks like I'm making a trip to Amazon in a bit.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 11, 2008 11:57 AM

Shadows, Case, & twig,

All this talk of 'Nothing to Lose,' makes me feel like traipsing over to the local video store sometime this week and renting it.

I remember laughing so hard when I saw it the first time...

Posted by: tamatha at February 11, 2008 11:58 AM

Now I'm reeeeeally feeling like the baby of Pajiba again. The thought of having to raise children at all makes me both insanely panicked and incredibly queasy - I'd rather not think about the finer points of brainwashing them just yet. Hopefully by the time I'm grown up enough for children they won't have to physically fight me for access to their gaming consoles. Although, do you think if I suddenly became teetotal, incredibly straight laced, anti non-conformist and started listening to jazz I'd produce tattoo covered rebels who were into punk by default? Cause that would rock.

Damnit Pajiba you've freaked me out, yet again. I'm going home to submerge myself in .//hack and forget aaaaalll about this insanity.

Oh and I was raised on The Bangles, The Police and Simply Motherfucking Red. My Mother's lack of musical taste is apparently genetic.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 11, 2008 12:01 PM

AtO,
Or you could decide simply not to have kids. This option is working splendidly for me. If you have siblings, and they have kids, then you can simply be the cool aunt, with the awesome tattoos and killer video gaming skills.

Posted by: tamatha at February 11, 2008 12:07 PM

"...you can simply be the cool aunt, with the awesome tattoos and killer video gaming skills."

This is the route my sister has decided to take...she's waiting for me to produce progeny to show off her coolness. I refuse to give in just yet.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 11, 2008 12:13 PM

GinKirk: If you ever hear Billy Bragg coming from your child's headphones, I will adopt him, put him through college and pay for grad school.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 11, 2008 12:25 PM

I... I just wanted to let all of you... (sniff) all of you know that I um... well some people I know, actually... uh, well we were going to see "There Will Be Blood", but because of some early/all day Bloody Marys, there was some confusion in... well there was a mix-up in theater times, and uh... (sniffle)... I just wanted to say that I am truly sorry. I really am.

I know why she's screaming in the oven now...

I'll turn in my badge and gun now. I never wanted it to end up like this. I really didn't.

God DAMN you Ben Kingsley thread...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at February 11, 2008 12:29 PM

PaddyDog: I love Billy Bragg...does that mean you'll pay off my credit cards?

Posted by: Julie at February 11, 2008 12:33 PM

Awww...Skittimus.....say it ain't so....

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 11, 2008 12:42 PM

Matt Damon is so awesome. Why can't there be more celebrities like him?

AtO The Mr. and I joke that our daughters are going to rebel by becoming cheerleaders and making us go to their games (or whatever the hell they're called) and fraternize with parents who are actually happy with their daughter's choice of pastime. *shudder* And don't worry, I was completely freaked out at the idea of having children at your age too. Things change. Or they don't and you decide not to have children. Nothing wrong with that.

Turning 30 is becoming an increasingly distant memory, which is depressing. Not that it was all that long ago, it's just that so much has changed since then. Now it's all NPR, Volvos, small children, and never getting to sleep in. Who am I anymore?!

Posted by: katy at February 11, 2008 12:44 PM

Julie: Hee. I'd love to help, but if you listened more closely to Billy you wouldn't have any credit card debt. You're buying into the schemes of the capitalist bastards who want you forever in their clutches.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 11, 2008 1:00 PM

Ha! It was worth a shot, I'll have to settle for listening to "I Keep Faith" while weeping into my bank statements.

Posted by: Julie at February 11, 2008 1:06 PM

Paddy - Please pay my bills as well. I listen to Mr. Bragg alot and I'm not even half English (sorry, that pun forced itself onto the screen).

Kolby Good luck turning 30. My turn in November. Yay (shudder)

I must say I'm pretty ceatin my father's musical taste has influenced me some. Until I was 11 or 12, all I listened to was whatever he was listening to - Jazz or Oldies, 50's, 60, DooWop and alot of the early R&B that came out of this suff (always interesting in hearing him talk how the British invasion music was just a way to keep the black music off the radio, but that's a different conversation for a different day). While I have no appreciation for Jazz (don't dislike it, just don't listen), a growing portion of my collection does reflect 60's era music, though more garage rock and its later generations, with some funk thrown in. Hopefully I will have a similar positive influence on later generations

Posted by: Brian at February 11, 2008 1:17 PM

I got in? Really? Whoa... That's actually cheered me up rather nicely, as I've just got back from a friend's funeral. Note to self - follow the guy's example and have 'Only The Good Die Young' by Iron Maiden played at my funeral.

Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 11, 2008 1:23 PM

I have an example of parental assimilation backfiring. My mother introduced me to some great music: Beatles, CCR, Eagles, Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, all the good old stuff. Then she tried it with her favorite artist, Neil Diamond. The hours, days and weeks spent listening to that man now explain my irrational hatred of him. The husband enjoys torturing me with "Sweet Caroline" for in his words "fun". I have "Barbie Girl" by Aqua to come back with. It turns into a very ugly scene.

Katy, I asked that same question the other day. I will be 27 this year and I am unable to sleep til noon without a migraine anymore. I am also getting responsible! Somedays I loathe getting older. What the hell happened?

Posted by: Melody at February 11, 2008 1:24 PM

Note to self - follow the guy's example and have 'Only The Good Die Young' by Iron Maiden played at my funeral. - a) I'm sorry for your loss. b) That song choice fucking awesome.

The husband enjoys torturing me with "Sweet Caroline" for in his words "fun". I have "Barbie Girl" by Aqua to come back with. It turns into a very ugly scene. Note to self - never go to Melody's house during a domestic dispute. Ever.

Posted by: TK at February 11, 2008 1:32 PM

The only thing I loathe about getting older is the aches and pains that come with... well, everything. I pulled two bags of water softener salt outta my dad's car about a month ago, and my back was all outta whack for the next four-five days. Plus, I grunt when I get in and out of automobiles. I can't pull all-nighters any more (4 a.m. is about as late as I can keep going). I am also concerned about my bowel movements...

I just can't wait until I graduate and can move out of my parent's basement. Two and a-half more years, and I'll be able to ditch this fake ID. That's the BEST thing about getting older... So awesome...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at February 11, 2008 1:38 PM

Dill I'm so sorry about your friend-from his funeral song choice he must have been pretty freakin awesome.

Skittimus...I don't even have to tell people that I'm turning 28 in April, they can pretty much guess my age by counting the creaking sounds my knees make.

Posted by: Julie at February 11, 2008 1:46 PM

I don't even have to tell people that I'm turning 28 in April, they can pretty much guess my age by counting the creaking sounds my knees make.

Oh, wahhhhh. 28? Yes, let's get your spot at Shady Acres reserved right away, you baby.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 11, 2008 2:06 PM

Thank you, Dustin. I really needed to ensure PissBoy saw what he does to my fragile mind, when drinking and surfing. Fan art. Sigh. Although it was in TK's domain too - just shows that I always go for the scoundrel. Women, hey?

p.s. I did it all for the nookie.

p.p.s. Comics rock! Holla holla c'mon!

Posted by: Rebeccah at February 11, 2008 2:20 PM

So I just listened to a clip of Iron Maiden's Only The Good Die Young. Pretty cool as usual. I was kind of hoping they had just covered the Billy Joel song but oh well.

Posted by: Brian at February 11, 2008 2:24 PM

Hee-apparently nearing thirty has turned me into a whiny asshole. And to think I was just making fun of my brother the other day for feeling old, and he can't even legally buy liquor yet.

Posted by: Julie at February 11, 2008 2:26 PM

I am so lucky, socalled, that my bosses weren't around when I read the Shady Acres comment. I really need to get a handle on my laughter - it's way too loud.

Posted by: Kolby at February 11, 2008 2:28 PM

Oh, wahhhhh. 28? Yes, let's get your spot at Shady Acres reserved right away, you baby.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 11, 2008 2:06 PM

Written by our very own resident Old Man Jenkins. Watch as he shakes his cane at you! That feisty old bugger!

Posted by: Alabamapink at February 11, 2008 2:35 PM

I think we need Whiskeybabyninjastar bumper stickers so that we can identify each other whilst driving around and give a little nod of acknowledgement or finger aside the nose.

Posted by: wsapnin at February 11, 2008 2:36 PM

Well socalled, make sure you get my spot reserved as well as I will be 27, but in my defense I do have 4 boys (who all love musicals, by the way, and since I am a performer and love to do musicals, so much the better I say) so that should age me about 10 to 15 years. 9, 6, 5, 2, are their ages, as if you cared. They also enjoy rocking out to Guitar Hero and know most of the words to most of the songs in all three games. Mikal, the oldest, loves Pantera's "Cowboys from Hell", Ely digs "The Metal" and the other just sit there and press buttons. But on top of everything else they like High School Musical and all its iterations. I blame their mother...

Posted by: ScarletKnight at February 11, 2008 2:38 PM

Oooh...second the bumper stickers. How are the T-shirts coming along?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 11, 2008 2:39 PM

The husband enjoys torturing me with "Sweet Caroline" for in his words "fun". I have "Barbie Girl" by Aqua to come back with. It turns into a very ugly scene. Note to self - never go to Melody's house during a domestic dispute. Ever.

Posted by: TK at February 11, 2008 1:32 PM

Oh no. Others are never subjected to music that horrible. The contest of who can torment who is usually reserved for long car trips. Those are usually the beginning choices. The music goes downhill from there.

Posted by: Melody at February 11, 2008 2:43 PM

A whiskeybabynijastar! bumper sticker would finally give my car the ego boost it needs. Though I don't want to draw any more attention to it in my neighborhood, it's already had its tire slashed and the antenna stolen. Damned hooligans.

Posted by: Julie at February 11, 2008 2:43 PM

Julie, that's exactly why you need the whiskeybabyninjastar! bumper sticker...to warn people away. They will fear retaliation from below...and learn to watch out for the pitter patter of little feet...

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 11, 2008 2:48 PM

GinKirk: If you ever hear Billy Bragg coming from your child's headphones, I will adopt him, put him through college and pay for grad school.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 11, 2008 12:25 PM

You might want to qualify that 'cause we can hear my little daughter's playing My Flying Saucer from Mermaid Avenue just about any day of the week.

ANEEway....she's quite the math wiz & I think she'd be a good fit at MIT, so on yer marks...git set...git yer checkbook ready!

Posted by: GinKirk at February 11, 2008 2:58 PM

I promised myself no bumper stickers on the new-to-me 97 Camry I got a couple of years ago. Bumper stickers don't age well, and start to look crappy instead of cool/political/feisty.

That being said, I would so put a whiskeybabynijastar! bumper sticker on my vehicle! Where do I order mine?

Is that how we would gain entrance into the Pajiba convention?

Posted by: tamatha at February 11, 2008 3:00 PM

Um... I get those Vegas-style performers mixed up, so please forgive, but is Neil Diamond the one who has middle aged women throwing their panties at the stage or is that ... um.... Tom Jones? (who is a retro cool hottie. me-ow)

Posted by: GinKirk at February 11, 2008 3:06 PM

GinKirk Tom Jones

Posted by: Brian at February 11, 2008 3:18 PM

Wow. I was so sad about Roy Scheider and this whole conversation cheered me right up. I still need to Netflix Marathon Man though.

And on the topic of influencing your kids' musical tastes, be careful with that power. I now blame my parents for my love of the following:

opera
heavy classical
Neil Diamond
old-school folk (I knew the bands they were mocking in A Mighty Wind. All of them)

and,

Abba.

I rest my case. Be careful with the power you wield, parents.

Posted by: Anne (in Reno) at February 11, 2008 3:48 PM

I should be getting Marathon Man this week. Is it supposed to be any good?

Posted by: Brian at February 11, 2008 3:59 PM

Brian: Are you squeamish about the dentist?

You may find your feelings about dental professionals and teeth in general will color your enjoyment of the movie.

Posted by: Alabamapink at February 11, 2008 4:01 PM

Matt Damon is my hero. That thing with Sarah Silverman, and then this.

Posted by: KatyBelle at February 11, 2008 4:03 PM

Ah, boo-hoo, all you infants! I can attest that you will survive turning 30, and even 40. Unfortunately 50 and AARP membership are not too far over the horizon. I should see them clearly since I've been in bifocals for the last few years.

Re listening to your parents' music: My dad played the Platters, the Drifters, Elvis, and Boots Randolph. I still prefer them, since I came of age in the disco era. Disco classics don't age as well as 50's and 60's music.

Let me add to the Matt Damon love. If I didn't already love him, that clip would have guaranteed my adoration.

And that Whiskeybabyninjastar! graphic is awesome!

Posted by: rlr260 at February 11, 2008 4:22 PM

See, the reason why I seldom comment is that I fear Pajibans generally look on 19-year-olds as some sort of single-celled organism far back in the evolutionary path of humanity. But I feel a responsibility to recount the horror my parents' generation has wrought: Cyndi Lauper. Joan Jett. Dire Straits. Blondie.

And the worst of it is, I love all of it. (But not more than I love Matt Damon. Hot DAMN that man is funny.)

Posted by: Smithy at February 11, 2008 5:11 PM

Hey: we tried to kill Debbie Harry with booze and heroin, but she didn't die.

As to what you will watch with your kids, don't forget those insipid ponies, but if you're lucky you can get them hooked on Scooby Doo (the first and second season, old school) and Fosters' Home for Imaginary Friends (any; all).

Posted by: Hater from Siloam Springs at February 11, 2008 5:25 PM

You know, I didn't feel old until I read Smithy's comment.

Thanks a lot, jerkface. And by the way - Dire Straits in concert? Fucking righteous.

That said... don't ever feel like you can't comment because you're not old enough - that's just silly. Hell, Alex the Odd comments constantly, and I don't think she even has all her teeth yet. Besides, we need some young bloods to keep the old farts like Socalled on their toes.

Posted by: TK at February 11, 2008 5:26 PM

Nice, TK...a double shot! Three, if you count the original intent of the comment....

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 11, 2008 5:31 PM

Hey Shadows of Dakaron, Case, & twig,
I just came home from the video store, with 'Nothing to Lose' in the stack of movies I rented. I take special glee in the fact that they only had it on VHS. I'll be watchin' it tomorrow, most likely.

Posted by: tamatha at February 11, 2008 6:14 PM

Posted by: Hater from Siloam Springs at February 11, 2008 5:25 PM

-------------------------------------------------
We are watching old school Scooby on Boomerang with Monkey McGee as I type. Screw that new Scooby tripe, give me old school weird humanoid shark demons anyday.

Posted by: Dangle McGee at February 11, 2008 6:50 PM

I guess the tone of that comment was more derogatory than it ought to have been, considering that it was written by a girl whose iTunes just popped up Sultans of Swing, followed by Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go (*cringe*).

But I wouldn't dream of comment-fencing with socalledonlycousins. After all, you know what they say about age and treachery versus youth and skill.

Posted by: Smithy at February 11, 2008 7:09 PM

That would be wise of you, Smithy :) And props for owning up to listening to Wham!

Posted by: Julie at February 11, 2008 7:12 PM

But I wouldn't dream of comment-fencing with socalledonlycousins. After all, you know what they say about age and treachery versus youth and skill.

Oh, motherfucking snap!

Folks, we have a live one here.

Posted by: TK at February 11, 2008 7:15 PM

TK and Julie: Cheers for the commiserations. He was indeed an awesome bloke, and will be missed by all of us that knew him.

Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 11, 2008 7:16 PM

Shit, Smithy, I checked out of the thread when the Pestilence thread took off -- but I'm back now to shake my cane at you. "Get the FUCK off my lawn!" There's nothing shameful about Blondie or Dire Straits -- at least not in their vintage years.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 11, 2008 9:32 PM

Don't worry, there's still some young followers here. I'm so young, in fact, that I'm scared to post because I'm worried that I'll break up the clique of the cool kids.

Posted by: Koosh at February 11, 2008 9:55 PM

*excited fangirl whisper-scream*
He shook the cane at me! At me! Oh, now I can die happy!

Posted by: Smithy at February 12, 2008 2:34 AM

Smithy, it's when he starts threatening to call the cops and muttering about young whippersnappers not respecting their elders that you've really got trouble.

Oh and never accept any offers of candy from the man *shudder* I learnt my lesson about that one long ago.

Welcome to the young Pajiban's club! I'll be making us "I can still remember what it was like to have all my hair" T-shirts any day now...

Oh and I'd forgotten that I was also raised on Abba. And the Carpenters.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 12, 2008 5:38 AM

I only turned 24 a couple of weeks ago - do I qualify for the young Pajiban's club?

Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 12, 2008 6:02 AM

Are you going to tell me to get off your lawn?

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 12, 2008 6:22 AM

Christ, we're being overrun by children. When did this turn into a goddamn Romper Room?

Posted by: TK at February 12, 2008 9:01 AM

My vivid and brightly coloured inkwork and I invite you to bite us TK ;)

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 12, 2008 9:11 AM

so, wait....waht's the age limit on the young pajiban's club?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 12, 2008 9:17 AM

Awww.....I remember Romper Room.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 12, 2008 9:29 AM

Hmmm I'm going to go for twenty five and under as a cut-off (purely because I'm jealous of everyone over the age of 25 as they can carry off the "high waisted pencil skirt, tucked in white shirt and heels" combo I'm trying to work today without looking like they're playing dress up... stupid youthful features).

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 12, 2008 9:32 AM

Lexi, you watch your tongue, young lady.

Yeah, that's right. I went there.

Posted by: TK at February 12, 2008 9:32 AM

Oh no you di'nt!

This means war, old man.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 12, 2008 9:35 AM

Is it bad that I want to sit back with some popcorn and watch this war play out?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 12, 2008 9:42 AM

Aw, lookit - the cute little puppy wants to play with the bigger dogs.

Posted by: TK at February 12, 2008 10:12 AM

*runs to fetch a grown-up*

Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 12, 2008 10:30 AM

NOW what have you kids gotten into? Don't make me pull over the Internet, you KNOW what happened last time.

Posted by: Wednesday at February 12, 2008 11:31 AM

Comparing me to a puppy. Man that is low, you know how I feel about puppies.

You, sir are resorting to underhand tactics. I am unimpressed.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 12, 2008 12:29 PM

*quietly refrains from pointing out that she will be 29 next week, for fear of being drawn and quartered by 4 elderly Pajibans in motorized grocery carts*

I just want to point out that y'all hipster parents have the wrong idea. If you want your children to have good taste in music, you must publicly and enthusiastically embrace the shittiest pop disasters that come down the pike. It would also help to learn the words, so you can sing at the top of your lungs in the parking lot of the local mall on Saturday while trying to teach your kids to do the bump. Granted, it's your parental duty to make sure that your kids encounter good music, but if they show the slightest sign of embracing it, you need to disapprove vociferously.

Posted by: Kris at February 12, 2008 6:51 PM

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