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The Punch in the Throat Edition

The Weekly Box-Office Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Box Office Round-Ups | September 15, 2008 | Comments (20)


Everything below, I found on the Internet. And if it’s on the Internet, it must be true. Which makes this statement doubly so.

5. The House Bunny ($4.3 million; $43 million): It’s not heavily advertised, but there are a few theaters in Southern California (I believe they are Magic Johnson cinemas) where theatergoers attending showings of The House Bunny are guaranteed to walk out miserable, or the ticket taker will punch you in the throat for free. Believe it or not, The House Bunny has the highest per theater average in the area.

4. The Women ($10 million): Originally, the studio pitched this idea to Tyler Perry, who was going to call it The Blacks, and make it about four African-American men who wear feathers in their cap and drink malt liquor. However, focus groups thought the idea was offensively stereotypical, so the studio decided instead to write a movie about four women who shop and talk about their feelings over drinks with umbrellas in them.

3. Righteous Kill ($16 million): Before the Al Pacino / Robert DeNiro starrer had even debuted, the filmmakers had already come up with an idea to capitalize on the fading stars of the next generation’s two best actors. The sequel doesn’t have a title, a script, or a director, but the studio has already penciled the movie in for September 2028, and attached Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington to the project.

But here’s a fun fact about Righteous Kill: Robert DeNiro had to hire an extra assistant, whose full-time job it was to wipe the spittle off of DeNiro’s face after filming scenes with Pacino.

(Apropos of nothing: How about those television adverts for this movie: “Al Pacino! Robert DeNiro! What else do you need to know?” Ummm. How about if the movie is any goddamn good?)

2. Tyler Perry’s The Family that Preys ($18 million): Here’s an interesting note: Tyler Perry isn’t technically a real human. He was created in a Petri dish by a group of scientists with odd senses of humor responsible for the human genome project. They were commissioned by Hollywood to play mad libs with a series of African-American stereotypes and create the ultimate caricature. The result was Perry. For shits and giggles, sometimes they put him in a dress and a fat suit and see what he does. It’s hilarious!

(Note: Our review will be up this afternoon.)

1. Burn After Reading: ($19.5 million): Fun Fact: Sometimes, when Joel Coen’s wife, Frances McDormand, has a headache or is otherwise not feeling well, Joel makes loves to Holly Hunter, instead. True story.









Pajiba Love 09/15/08 | Tyler Perry's The Family that Preys













Comments

Sometimes, when Joel Coen's wife, Frances McDormand, has a headache or is otherwise not feeling well, Joel makes loves to Holly Hunter, instead.

For real? Is that allowed? Because I'm officially jealous.

Posted by: Cindy at September 15, 2008 1:04 PM

"Tyler Perry's The Family that Preys... Our review will be up this afternoon."

Please, no...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at September 15, 2008 1:11 PM

Sometimes, when Joel Coen's wife, Frances McDormand, has a headache or is otherwise not feeling well, Joel makes loves to Holly Hunter, instead.
yea, I wanna know if that's true; I mean, it works for Tilda Swinton, but I didn't think F.M. was into that...

Posted by: Stella at September 15, 2008 1:18 PM

Huh. Until now I'd thought that all those Righteous Kill posters I'd been seeing were just clever propaganda by the pro-euthanasia lobby.

Posted by: Macafee at September 15, 2008 1:22 PM

That Coen story is true. The two are basically interchangable.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 15, 2008 1:46 PM

Holly Hunter and Frances McDormand are interchangeable?

Posted by: Jay at September 15, 2008 1:57 PM

Interchangeable are McDormand, Frances and Hunter, Holly.

Posted by: mswas at September 15, 2008 2:07 PM

Holly Hunter y Frances McDormand son intercambiables.

Posted by: SofĂ­a at September 15, 2008 2:39 PM

The thought of McDormand/Hunter sexswap makes my dick so hard a cat couldn't scratch it.

Posted by: firedmyass at September 15, 2008 2:47 PM

God, just bring John Goodman and Steve Buschemi along too. It'd be incredible. I'm pretty sure the Coen's use them in everything.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 15, 2008 4:21 PM

While I appreciate condescension wherever I can get it, where are you seeing performances that you can't tell apart?.

Posted by: Jay at September 15, 2008 4:42 PM

Um, this thread is making me... uh, kinda... moist.

Posted by: Becky Tri-Tip Goddess at September 15, 2008 6:13 PM

I thought Righteous Kill was a sequel to The Bucket List . Because everyone knows that all old people do in their dying years is take road trips and compete to see who has the cleanest diaper at the end of the day? That's what I gleaned from those TV ads, anyway.

I wish they'd just retire.

Posted by: figgylicious at September 15, 2008 7:45 PM

Jay, I thought the idea was that when the Coens make a movie they generally use one or the other. (Or Both! Raising Arizona!) In that respect they are interchangeable.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 15, 2008 9:59 PM

Well, Holly Hunter's only been onscreen in two.

Posted by: Jay at September 15, 2008 10:23 PM

I wonder if either Holly or Frances think that Ethan Coen y Joel Cohen son intercambiables.

Posted by: JC at September 16, 2008 1:03 AM

Quise decir "Coen". My bad.

Posted by: JC at September 16, 2008 1:05 AM

You know, I have enough trouble trying to figure out what all of the hip lingo bantered around this site means without the fucking Spanglish. Speak English! And turn down that pagan music! And GET OFF MY LAWN!

Posted by: Lindsey at September 16, 2008 3:01 AM

Tyler Perry just fucked up my whole goddamned week. 18 million? 1800000 negros went to see that movie? That shit is fucking embarassing. I mean, the march on Selma, the lunch counter sit ins, freedom riders, Medgar Evers, the Watts riots, the Civil rights act. All that hard work to provide us blacks with the opportunity to have what every other man could have...and all we have to show for it is Puff Daddy, Kobe Bryant and motherfucking Tyler Perry. I mean, if he were alive I think Dr. King would just shoot himself.

Posted by: Gamal at September 16, 2008 8:20 AM

Jesus. I haven't seen so many white people movies dominate the box office this much since last week.

Posted by: mark at September 16, 2008 9:28 AM


















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