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The Weekly Box Office Round-Up / The Eloquents

Box Office Round-Ups | February 4, 2008 | Comments (107)

20. How She Move (Weekend: $1.7 million; Total: $6 million): “Great review for a movie that doesn’t actually exist, yet at the same time, does. It’d be an interesting experiment to start all of them at the same time on different screens, pour a generous amount of Scotch and cue the whole fucking mess to “Dark Side of the Moon.” With Natalie Portman of course. — Skittimus Maxiums

13. Strange Wilderness (Weekend: $3 million): “I’m sorry, but “Kevin Hefferman as the drunk animal handler” sold me on seeing this flick. I feel like I fit in here less and less every day. — HallsyHatesU

“But more importantly, we all know that Bigfoot doesn’t live in Ecuador, he lives in Northern California!” — Alarmjaguar

11. Over Her Dead Body, (Weekend: $4.6 million): “Why all the big words Dustin?” — Anikitty

“Well, Dustin, some of your observations are valid. I can certainly see where you are coming from. But though some of your points are a little harsh, I believe you gave this movie the proper amount of commentary and all of the attention it deserved.” — Greer

“God, Dustin. Shut up. — Jen

6. Meet the Spartans, (Weekend: $7 million; Total: $28 million) “I saw on the news this morning that Meet the Spartans took the top weekend box office spot. My local anchor declared, ‘Meet the Spartans is this year’s Borat’. I wanted to pour my steaming bowl of oatmeal in my eyes so as not to witness the wild and terrifyingly rapid dissolution of our culture. I also wanted Sacha Baron Cohen to dick-slap that smarmy son-of-bitch talking head.” — Becca

5. Juno, (Weekend: $7 million; Total: $110 million ) (Unrelated) “It’s really fucking funny how the pretentious fuckwits around here can piss and moan about what could conceivably be the “mindless fun” of Meet the Spartans. Not that I’d find it enjoyable, spoof movies are the film equivalent of a stand-up comic who does impressions and rubs his nipples through his shirt. But, could you accuse it of being anything more than mindless? No, the pretentious fuckwits here will vehemently defend the cinematic feces that are Cloverfield and Rambo, both substantially lacking in plot and character. A mindless comedy film with no goals but to make bad jokes? Oh dear. We can’t have that when we can parade cardboard Abercrombie & Fich models around a monster-crushed Manhattan or punch people’s heads off with a steroid-fueled sexagenarian. One is mouth-breathing stupidity designed only for dullards and the simplest of juvenile minds. The other is “mindless fun.” The hypocrisy is astounding.” — Spork

“And one last bit of friendly advice Spork. With my failed comprehension of your rapier wit, I’m not sure if you’re trying to lace your comments with oodles of sarcasm and dry humor, or just come of as a giagantic anal spasm. Just want to let you know…you’re succeeding admirably at one, and failing like a stripper fails her father at the other. Can you figure out which or shall I do shadow puppets?” — Pissboy

4. 27 Dresses, (Weekend: $8 million; Total: $57 million): “Will the Pajiba 2008 Killing Spree Bus be making pick ups in Brooklyn? I’ll bring the craft brews and kosher hot dogs.” — Brian

3. The Eye, (Weekend:$13 million) “Wait a second. A body double? Seriously? Jessica Alba’s ass was the only reason I was even considering seeing this movie, since going to see a movie with Jessica Alba in it necessarily involves sitting through over an hour of her “acting”. Now you’re telling me that her ass isn’t even in it? Note to casting directors: why not just use that girl whose ass it is? She can’t possibly act any worse.” — jvon

“Anyone who told you Alba was great in Dark Angel was rendered blind by compulsive masturbation. She wasn’t any good and the show wasn’t either.” — alone in the dark

“I liked this premise better when it was a Simpson’s ‘Treehouse of Terror’ vignette and it was Snake’s hair instead of a psychic’s eye.” — TajMc

2. Hannah Montanah/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour, (Weekend: $29 million) “I was thinking of making a list of “Things I’d rather do than watch this” and then I realized that it would comprise of everything you can do without killing yourself.” — Joker

“I think people, women especially, say a movie is “cute” when it’s not really that great a movie, and it certainly didn’t make you laugh, but it has a happy ending featuring a lingering kiss. Yeah, it’s like a code.” — Kolby

1. New England Patriots (18-1) New York Giants (Super Bowl Champs): Sorry, Pats fans — but you guys had it coming. Finally, a little comeuppance. It was Angus against James Van Der Beek last night, and it was good to see the little fat kid win one for sports humanity.


← Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds | Lost: The Beginning of the End →



Comments

We now have a new, weekly game here in Pajiba land - scrolling through the Weekly Roundup for you name, before reading the actuall post. Number Six With a Bullett. WooHoo!

GO BIG BLU!!!

I didn't think I would be this giddy but I am. Didn't think I would use the word giddy on Pajiba either.

Posted by: Brian at February 4, 2008 12:07 PM

Though I try to be a gracious fan, in winning AND losing, I concede that many of my local brethren have become uncontrollable douchebags, and I apologize for their relentless douchiness.

Therefore, on their behalf, I'll willingly take it on the chin for this one. Maybe it's just the hangover talking, but... yeah. Get your Schadenfreude on.

That said, I believe that comment may be Pissboy's finest work.

Posted by: TK at February 4, 2008 12:13 PM

Awwww it's my first round up not being quoted. I feel strangely... like I actually had a life this past week. Aces.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 4, 2008 12:13 PM

Woohoo! I made it!

The Super Bowl turned out to be a damn good game, and while I'm a fan of neither the Giants not the Patriots, I was happy to see the Giants win. And I'm not ashamed to say that my favorite commercial was the Diet Pepsi Max "What is Love?" one.

Posted by: Kolby at February 4, 2008 12:13 PM

TK! You're here! And you're not bitter!

DAMN.

Posted by: Kolby at February 4, 2008 12:16 PM

And in an update to my ongoing "how little I am getting done at work these days" count, it's somewhat sad to read the weekly round up and know exactly who posted all the comments before even getting to their names.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 4, 2008 12:18 PM

I love this column so much I'm going to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

TK, I hope you're faring well today and haven't resorted to small-children-with-adorable pigtailsacide to deal with the Patriots' loss.

Posted by: Julie at February 4, 2008 12:23 PM

Kolby: don't be ashamed...that was the one I cracked up to. No one else understood it at the party I was at. I had to tell them who Chris Kattan was and that it was an old SNL skit...so sad. (I won't even say it was Night at the Roxbury because I like to pretend that movie never existed.)

Posted by: lyricalcatt at February 4, 2008 12:23 PM

TK, I don't think the Patriots have anything to be ashamed of. The Giants fought HARD for that win, and with the way the defensive was working over Tom Brady, it's no wonder he was whiffing balls all over the field. It was like he's kicked all their dogs or something, those men had it OUT for him.

But yeah, I'm thrilled that all the obnoxious Pats fans will finally shut up. Sort of. Now they'll just go back to being obnoxious Red Sox fans.

Posted by: Genny at February 4, 2008 12:26 PM

*ahem* defensive LINE, not "defensive" because that's not a word.

Posted by: Genny at February 4, 2008 12:28 PM

Kolby: I liked that commercial too, though my favorite was the Doritos' giant mouse busting through the wall. Most of the other sucked my ass.

And TK, I totally understand having to apologize for your fellow fans, as someone who salivates over the Eagles I have to put up with jackassery alllll the time.

Posted by: Julie at February 4, 2008 12:28 PM

*ahem* defensive LINE, not "defensive" because that's not a NOUN.

I am doing awesome today...

Posted by: Genny at February 4, 2008 12:28 PM

Giants, fuck yeah! The Pats can take their perfect season and shove it! Thanks to all the doubters for doubting Big Blue. Unfortunately, Tom Brady still gets the supermodel.

Posted by: vadmspartan02 at February 4, 2008 12:36 PM

I thought the Doritos commercial was both brutal and hilarious, but my favorite was the FedEx one with the giant pigeons. I almost met my demise choking on a mouthfull of hummus and Heinekken.

How 'bout Petty though? He fucking kicked-ass... Too bad NOBODY in the friggin' run-onto-the-field-shrieking crowd had absofuckinlutely NO idea who he was... And what was the deal with the boobie-zoom-ins the camera guy kept doing? Those girls looked about sixteen... I smell a perv!

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at February 4, 2008 12:41 PM

By the way... I'm amazed no one has mentioned the INSANELY racist salesgenie-dot-com ad. I mean, Holy FUCK was that obnoxious.

Posted by: TK at February 4, 2008 12:45 PM

Did I see that one? I'll have to YouTube it later...

Posted by: Julie at February 4, 2008 12:50 PM

TK, Mrs. socalled and I were aghast -- laugh-out-loud aghast, but still -- at the overt racism in the salesgenie.com ads. The first one, with the Apu-from-the-Simpsons accent, was a squirmer, but the second one, with the Rosie O'Donnell/Shaquille O'Neal "ching-chong" Chinese accent was just over the top. Incredible -- and other than some blogosphere stuff, I haven't seen any backlash yet today.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 4, 2008 12:57 PM

Giants fans, rub it in all you want. Here is my sad tale.
I moved to Massachusetts in 1992 from an obscure backwater far removed from pro football. I loved pro football and was thrilled to have a local team to root for. The Pats were 2-14 that year. They continued sucking for about four interminable years, at which point I finally gave up on them. Of course, that year they went to the Super Bowl, and I rooted against them, and they lost and I was glad.
Another four years of them sucking and me ignoring them, I left home and joined the Marines, and so was in boot camp and totally oblivious to the "magical" 2001 season, after which they got into the Super Bowl following the two flukiest playoff wins in the history of organized sport, during which I rooted against them. And then they won, and off to dynasty town they went. (I did have a good laugh when they missed the playoffs in 2002; I knew that 2001 was a fluke!)
And then it wasn't a fluke, cuz those fools kept winning, and of course I had to keep hating them. So then they started (relatively) sucking for a year or two, and I decided I might get to like them again, and then they started tearing up the league and I was totally a fan...
And now THIS.
I suppose I deserve it for jumping on the bandwagon, but...
Did it have to be Eli Manning?
And I kind of hope Congress nails Belichick with all they've got, so I can say I was right about that whole dynasty being a fraud. (Cuz it was a fraud. Come on, three Super Bowl wins by three points each? Laaaaame.)

Posted by: Pen Dragon at February 4, 2008 12:58 PM

Sales Genie had by far the worst commercials ever.

I am just glad to see Chris Kattan doing something worth watching again.

TK, is Boston still up and running this morning? I would have thought that the city would have shut down today in mourning.

Personally, I will take obnoxious Pats fans over Red Soxs fans any day of the damned week, month, year or decade.

Skittimus, Petty did indeed not suck. How stoned do you think he was while playing?

Posted by: Melody at February 4, 2008 1:03 PM

Mmmmmmm, hummus.

Next year, Jets all the way!

Posted by: Kolby at February 4, 2008 1:04 PM

You mean Tom Brady gets the horsefaced space dog. The Bundchen rebound was both tacky and a demonstration of really bad taste in women. Maybe he'll break some perfect teeth on those jutting hipbones.

But no, what's really concerning me is: 'the fuck was that bulky shortsleeved hoodie on Belichick? I guess he wore a plain grey one most of the time? That can at least look like he's an extra in "Quest of the Delta Knights" and should be covered in muddy straw, but that bright red just sang out "Look what a nonsensical piece of clothing I am!!". Of course it became even sillier once he started scowling. Like they didn't already have a cloud of bad karma built up.

Whatta pair of schmucks. After all, Brady won the fuckin' holy 9/11 Super Bowl with Bono and an unfavored team called the PATRIOTS fer chrissakes. That is ENOUGH (But if that accusation about taping the Rams holds any water...oh man, the kind of disgrace that politicians never satisfyingly deliver anymore. But the loss is an adequate humbling. I'm just satisfied watching the Giants making the "well...*theoretically* they could still score a touchdown in two minutes even though the death blow seems to have just been dealt" actually happen like the fucking Dolphins flatly refused to when I intently watched 17 and 19. I gave up on football fandom, plus the interminable fitfulness that the big games usually are exhausted my patience. I applaud both of those teams last night for keeping it lively!).

But I have to go to work now, luckily for you.

Posted by: Jay at February 4, 2008 1:05 PM

Pen Dragon... wow. That's quite a story. And forgive me for saying this, but you are the worst sports fan I've ever heard of. Seriously. I'm glad you're off the bandwagon, because I wouldn't want someone like you rooting for my team anyway.

Thick and thin, buddy. I may be a relentless homer, but I'll never root against my team. Why bother watching sports at all?

Anyway, a small, dark part of me thinks this was good for Boston. It brought us back down to earth a bit, and maybe it'll get everyone to settle down and be less goddamn arrogant.

Posted by: TK at February 4, 2008 1:08 PM

Melody, he coulda been higher than a friggin' kite, but he just as well coulda tied himself off and shot horse on stage as far as I'm concerned... As long as they keep real bands/musicians doing live acts, I'm happy...

I was actually thinking about writing Janet Jackson a "Thank-you" letter for putting a kibosh on all the bullshit "acts" that were becoming commonplace. The worst of the worst? The Aerosmith, Brittney Spears, Eve, Ludacriss(?), shitheap.. That sucked sweaty old-man balls...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at February 4, 2008 1:14 PM

Skittimus: I loved Petty too...he seemed sedated compared to when I saw him a few years back in Camden, but the medley of songs he played were badass. I did desperately wanted him to play "Learning to Fly," but anything he plays is better than Shania (motherfucking) Twain.

Posted by: Julie at February 4, 2008 1:25 PM

Nice bit of shaudenfraude. Too bad, Dustin, that the closest that your Colts got to the Super Bowl this year was Peyton sitting all by himself in the NBC Luxury Box.

As for Eli being Angus, it's rare that a former #1 draft pick can be the underdog for casual fans to relate to. The only reason that he can termed that is because he has been such a MASSIVE disappointment until these past 5 weeks.

Does no one remember that he was the #1 draft pick who almost cried when the Chargers picked him and then had his Dad pull strings to get him traded to the Giants?

Posted by: Siddhartha at February 4, 2008 1:25 PM

Hee..."I did desperately wanted him"...grammar is fun!

Posted by: Julie at February 4, 2008 1:27 PM

TK, the hubs was saying just last night that at least Pats/Red Sox fans stick with their teams no matter what, unlike many, MANY New York fans. Sometimes it's really fucking embarrassing to be associated with people who boo their own players.

Posted by: Kolby at February 4, 2008 1:30 PM

This may be the first time I have not seen at least one of the movies on the 'Round-Up,' so I am unable to comment on anything other than my lack of desire to actually see any of them. So instead I will relate this awkward, yet memorable mental image:

The entirety of my bar rallying against the Patriots with cries of exuberance and inebriation, their allegiance to the Giants notwithstanding. The surprisingly strong Miami Dolphins fan base present in central New York,there in force, elated at the prospect of their beloved 1972 Dolphins retaining the one and only perfect season.

One man stands out among the rest: 1996 Starter high tops, white socks pulled up mid shin, cut-off jean shorts far too high, faded #13 Dan Marino jersey that has seen far too many CNY winters, teal and orange mardi gras beads, Dolphin shaped earing in the left lobe, Dolphin watch on the right wrist, and the Soul Glow-naturally curly-bald on top-mullet, literally shedding tears as I pour a $3-a-bottle Spumante into his plastic cup only because I didn't have real Champagne in house.

We call him "The Rook." And in his own right, he is a local legend.

It was truly a great experience.

Posted by: ian at February 4, 2008 1:32 PM

I think my favorite commercial was the Etrade baby one. I loved how he was like "First, don't worry about it." Haha, so good. I don't usually care about football that isn't the Steelers, but I have happy to see the Giants win.

Posted by: Erin at February 4, 2008 1:33 PM

Wow, Pen Dragon. Honorable service for our country aside, you are a horrible person.

Posted by: Fuzzy Dunlop at February 4, 2008 1:35 PM

I am still in shock. A happy shock, like the kind where you wake up and realize, that yes, you did just participate in four-way around-the-world with Emeril Lagasse (he brought the canolis), Keeley Hazel (you know, for her, um, large talents?), and Natalie Portman (because lord knows, I'm going to need to speak with someone intelligent afterwards). The Pats certainly reaped what they had sown, but what still galls me, is that now we will never see the end of the Manning family. Think that they were considered football royalty before, my god, the coronation ceremony is purported to be broadcast on CNN!

"The Catch" will always be between Joe Montana and Dwight Clark, but surely we can come up with a better name then "The Catch II" for the Desert Miracle.

Posted by: ScarletKnight at February 4, 2008 1:36 PM

Salesgenie commercial was awful. Game was awesome. KARMA IS A BITCH, Pats fans. Sorry for the caps, I'm just really happy.

And I do think the Patriots should be ashamed. They should have probably won, but they didn't fight for it as hard as the Giants did. I don't think the fact that their season went so well should be a consolation - it makes it worse. If they had won, the season would have been unforgettable and this team would have been remembered as one of the all-time greats. But now it'll be forgotten - because they blew it when it counted.

Posted by: tt_marie at February 4, 2008 1:36 PM

Edit:

I did see 'Juno.' I don't know why I completely glanced over its presence on the list. Possibly because the company it keeps is so god awfully reprehensible I blocked out the only thing redeemable.

My apologies.

Posted by: ian at February 4, 2008 1:38 PM

So there's really someone out there who called his/her son "Plaxico"?

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 4, 2008 1:39 PM

Sometimes it's really fucking embarrassing to be associated with people who boo their own players.

To paraphrase "Its sad because its true." Tom Coughlin is truly a better man than I am. I would've bashed Bradshaw's head in with the Lombardi trophy after what he said last year.

I liekd the Thriller, lizard commercial. Who was the girl in it?

GO BIG BLUE!!!

Posted by: Brian at February 4, 2008 1:40 PM

Also, was this the first time Belichick didn't wear his gray sweatshirt? My friends and I weren't sure, but we decided that could've been bad luck for the Pats.

Posted by: tt_marie at February 4, 2008 1:47 PM

Goodness. All this bitterness about football. I'm a Massachusettsianson, and not all that into football, but I was sad to see the Patriots lose. I congratulate the Giants on their win and their impressive playing. Their fans should be happy. But a lot of comments I have been seeing on the Internets and in the media in reference to the Patriots sound just like the "learned" comments of the inbred, Yankees-obsessed, psychobitchmeatwads of Southie. Please, do not be like them. I hear enough of it from living here, (and no, we Massachusettsiansonites are not all like them). I never bought into that anti-Yankee bullshit. The Yankees always played better when it counted, which is why, until recently, the Yankees always won. Stop complaining and beat the other team. The Giants did. Now go out there and do something important, like feeding the homeless or teaching the blind to fly commercial aircraft.

Posted by: Abazur at February 4, 2008 1:53 PM

Brian - I believe it was Naomi "Where the Bloody Hell is my Cellphone, Damnit?!" Campbell in the Sobe commercial, which was, by the way, totally shitastic. I especially enjoyed the flaming fart one of the lizards blew toward the end. Classy.

Posted by: Kolby at February 4, 2008 1:56 PM

Brian: I believe that the girl was Naomi Campbell in the lizard Thriller commercial.

I thought Tom Petty was awesome. And I was mildly uncomfortable during the audience shots. I feel like the lined up some "hot teenage girls" and fed them lines from his songs so they could act like fans. It was disturbing.

And I loved the commercial Bud Light Commercial with the guy who could breathe fire and then was allergic to his girlfriend's cat...that was hilarious. There were a few that were really good. I hate Go Daddy and sales genie...how do they afford to pay for those awful commercials?

Posted by: lyricalcatt at February 4, 2008 2:00 PM

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the Amp'd commercial yet. Push it, indeed. That is a memory that will be forever etched in my memory. Wasn't that kid on a show on Nickelodeon? Some kind of camping show?

Posted by: ScarletKnight at February 4, 2008 2:04 PM

It was beyond retarded, but I laughed at the Amp commercial where the dude (Donkeylips from Nickelodeon's "Salute Your Shorts," if you'll care to remember) put the jumper cables on his nips and danced.

Posted by: Mattfactor at February 4, 2008 2:06 PM

Sorry, long time Pats hater here (I bleed Colts blue) so I was THRILLED to see Brady get knocked on his ass repeatedly last night. And what sore losers! He and Belicheat and most of the rest of them ran off the field before the game was even officially over, never congratulating the Giants on a really hard-fought victory. As Jackie Moon says, suck one. As for Tommy boy going home with Gisele, big whoop. Bridget is laughing her ass off.

I loved the Doritos giant mouse commercial, the FedEx pigeons, the Thriller dancing lizards and watching Justin Timberlake get bagged, repeatedly.

However, it is still my goal to make it into a roundup. Maybe I can get that dalmation to train me.......

Posted by: dammitjanet at February 4, 2008 2:29 PM

I love Angus. It was nice to see him make smug-as-hell James Van Der-whatsit look like an idiot. I saw that movie before Dawson's Creek premiered, and because of it, never bought his character. He was always that asshole Rick Stanford to me.

Posted by: KatyBelle at February 4, 2008 3:24 PM

So I watched the last quarter of the game because our television is parked in front of the elliptical machine, I needed to run, and Mr. Pink was enjoying the newly acquired glories of HD. A football fan I am not, but I have to admit it was a pretty interesting finale. If football was this exciting all the time maybe I'd watch.

After the clock hit one second, I stopped running and said aloud (and probably a little too loudly because of my iPod):

"Wow. TK's probably more than a little bummed right now."

Mr. Pink asks, "Who's TK?"

"Um..." I put on my stupid grin, "One of my internet friends."

Mr. Pink rolls his eyes. I have never felt like more of a total dork than I did in that minute.

And my favorite commercial was the frakkin' "Iron Man" trailer. Grrreow, Robert Downey Jr.!

And who the fuck names their kid Plaxico? What does Plaxico even mean? It sounds like a pharmaceutical product.

Posted by: Alabamapink at February 4, 2008 3:28 PM

Aw, 'Bama, you may have looked like a dork (and I have those moments with Mrs. TK), but I appreciate the sentiment.

Posted by: TK at February 4, 2008 3:35 PM

TK - on these boards, it seems like it's just you and me, brother.

2008 Pats are going to be even better once they trade for Chad Johnson and get some youth on defense.

Go Pats!

(And great game, Giants. They wholly deserved to win. Giants fans, however, the ones that booed Eli and Tom Coughlin for the last 3-4 years do not deserve it.)

Posted by: Siddhartha at February 4, 2008 3:41 PM

I liked the Coke commercial with the Clydesdale and the Pepsi Max narcoleptics.
I was rooting for the Giants, but only because I have a soft spot for Eli.

Posted by: demondoll at February 4, 2008 3:50 PM

You're not the only one who does that 'bama, never fear. I recently referred to "my friend Manda" (in reference to some particularly yummy brownies - hint, hint) and got the weirdest looks imaginable.

Referring to internet people as real = not a good idea.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 4, 2008 3:54 PM

AHEM Alex: are you inferring that we are not real people? Because I beg to differ. And you will soon see that I, at least, am real, because I'm crossing the pond.

And I REQUIRING that we meet for a drink. Thank god you're not sober anymore!! I was worried there for about, oh, two minutes.

And yes, bama, I too talk to my hubs about my "internet friends," and always feel a might bit...strange. Meh.

Posted by: boo at February 4, 2008 4:10 PM

Damn straight we're meeting for a drink Boo, do you honestly think I'd let you cross the shores of my fine country without hunting you down and getting you drunk on cocktails?

Psha.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 4, 2008 4:13 PM

No lie! Mr. PaddyDog was ranting about a trailer for a film the other day (I think it was the dance thingy) and I said to him "you sound just like PissBoy". He was opening his mouth to ask me who PissBoy was when it hit him and he just looked at me pityingly and shook his head. I have a horrible feeling there's an intervention being planned.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 4, 2008 4:18 PM

OOOHHH! You're going to "get me drunk"? That sounds so...dirty.

Does this have anything to do with your recent turn towards that lasses because of that stupid 'men vote, boobs are hot' list that disappointed us sooooo greatly? HMMMM???

**looks quickly around for Vermillion**

*whipers* Because I'm so down. Your tattoo is unbelievably hot.

But only if my hubs can watch.

Posted by: boo at February 4, 2008 4:20 PM

You guys fuckin' crack my shit up.

And I think my husband is totally afraid I'm having some kind of internet affair.

His paranoia is rather sweet actually.

Posted by: Alabamapink at February 4, 2008 4:24 PM

One more ad of note - the parade baloon one with Stewie and UnderDog, with Charlie Brown getting the coke.

Posted by: Brian at February 4, 2008 4:31 PM

I have rarely been so thrilled in my entire football-watching existence as I was last night. I can't believe how satisfying it was to see Bill Belichick looking so dour.

And say what you will about the Mannings...they don't knock up actresses and then shack up with supermodels...but maybe I just have a soft spot in my heart for them.

Posted by: bonnie at February 4, 2008 4:37 PM

So I have yet to fully recover from the blow delivered to me 35 seconds before the game ended last night, but I have to say, after railing on all the possible jinxes (bad refs, Gisele, Bill's red not grey sweatshirt) I realized that it was a damn good game and the Pats just didn't step up the way the Giants did, and they deserve all the praise in the world for that

I am with TK and apologizing for whatever horrible comments have been sent NY ways from disgruntled Pats fans

and I loved the lizards doing the Thriller dance :)

Posted by: Bethy at February 4, 2008 4:48 PM

I think I just disturbed my flatmate with my cackling at that post boo.

Speaking of my tattoo hotness, I finally got around to putting up the most recent session photos - they be on my blog!

Am I hijacking the thread with my blatant self promotion? I'll stop.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 4, 2008 4:51 PM

HaHa! Tiki interviewing Eli.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AhakW0H3rw

GO BIG BLUE!!!

Posted by: Brian at February 4, 2008 4:53 PM

And I think my husband is totally afraid I'm having some kind of internet affair.

I'm pretty sure Mrs. socalled is rooting for an internet affair at this point, if only to render my dedication to a website and comment thread less nerdy and pathetic. "Maybe you can recite your vows in Klingon," came the rejoinder from the other room ....

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 4, 2008 5:08 PM

Alex, your tattoo is looking inSANEly badass. I love the colors used to shade her skin.

Posted by: Julie at February 4, 2008 5:17 PM

Posted by: Brian at February 4, 2008 5:19 PM

ATO:
Well that was a surprise! Only because I was sure the tatoo was of a Whiskeybabyninjastar!(TM) and I desperately wanted to know what one looked like.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 4, 2008 5:22 PM

It's alright, Alex. Looking at hot tattoos on hot girls is an acceptable diversion from any discussion.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 4, 2008 5:22 PM

I so agree with the Underdog & Stewie commercial... That kicked so much ass! About time Charlie Brown caught a friggin' break, y'know?

Would been a touch cooler had he chugged the coke, turned into the Cloverfield whatchamafuck, and stomped around and flashpots and grenades and fucking just smashing and laughing and GRAH just roaring and everyon'e screaming and running for their lives, cuz brother, Chuck just AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE GODDAMMIT!

You work nudity into that, and I guarantee a Golden Lion. Seriously...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at February 4, 2008 5:25 PM

Socalled:
You mean we're NOT having an internet affair? Oh God! There I was planning little PaddySoCalledDogs and now I have been cast off. I'm so crushed, and so out of touch with rejection protocol. I don't even know where I put the "Kill the Pet Rabbit Handbook.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 4, 2008 5:26 PM

Thanks kids!

OK, I'm going to stop attention whoring and go to bed now, I fear I may pass out at my desk otherwise.

Oh and PaddyDog I really wouldn't put getting a Whiskeybabyninjastar! tattoo past me, as long as TK doesn't beat me to it then it's pretty much a given that I'll have one eventually. PaddySoCalledDogs would be adorable by any stretch of the imagination except they'd be born with a pre-existing liver condition... or maybe they'd have super alcohol tolerance and outlive us all.

Let's find out!

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 4, 2008 5:30 PM

That's actually a relief, Paddy, because I thought I was having one with you but you weren't having one with me. Which would be depressing.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 4, 2008 5:35 PM

That's actually a relief, Paddy, because I thought I was having one with you but you weren't having one with me. Which would be depressing.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 4, 2008 5:35 PM
--------------------------------------------------

And kind of interesting to pull off. Especially without her knowledge.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 4, 2008 5:37 PM

Okay, we're back on. And what's really scary is that I can totally recite my vows in Klingon!

Although Alex the Odd has a point about the compromised livers.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 4, 2008 6:21 PM

Shadows: She kept wondering, "Who has been licking the inside of my computer screen?" [It's like a sub-plot from Untraceable: "Someone is stalking me . . . from inside my computer!" Mrrmmm, okay; like, get up and walk away.]

Paddy: At this point, I'm pretty much banking on the drive-through liver transplant becoming a medical staple during my lifetime. I already have the abdominal zipper installed.

TMI?

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 4, 2008 6:31 PM

Let's put a lid on the Klingon talk, people. Seriously, I might break out into cold sweats of panic if I feel surrounded by Trekkies.

I don't know what the hell Mr. Pink is worried about re: internet affair. Shit, I've had to deal with another woman for almost two years now. She lives in our driveway. She's a red 1994 Miata, outfitted completely for racing.

My mother-in-law has a pet squirrel, and we've got a car on jacks in the driveway. I swear we are not as redneck as that makes us sound.

As for whiskeybabyninjastars, Rebeccah sent me an awesome rendering of one that I think would make some killer ink.

Posted by: Alabamapink at February 4, 2008 8:42 PM

Well shit, 'Bama, let's see it. At least email it to me! I'm working on my next ink, who knows, maybe it'll inspire me.

Posted by: TK at February 4, 2008 8:47 PM

I'm glad I am not the only one who talks about my "internet friends." I am always quoting you people, or Chez over at Deus Ex Malcontent, and people around here just don't get it. And, believe me, I WISH I was having an internet affair.

Posted by: dammitjanet at February 4, 2008 9:43 PM

I'm glad I am not the only one who talks about my "internet friends." I am always quoting you people, or Chez over at Deus Ex Malcontent, and people around here just don't get it. And, believe me, I WISH I was having an internet affair.

Posted by: dammitjanet at February 4, 2008 9:43 PM

You guys are crazy...I haven't talked to many people here but I used to be very active at one forum and I would *never* breathe a word of it to "real life" friends.

I did have an internet affair, though. :shame:

Oh, well, I was in a weird place.

Just out of curiousity, how old is the crowd around here? I'm 28. I get the impression that the average pajiban is a bit older though...

Posted by: HallsyHatesU at February 4, 2008 11:35 PM

marry me pissboy, you're the greatest.

Posted by: racheee at February 5, 2008 12:30 AM

Ahh, I made it! Nice. My first but i'm kind of a sporadic poster, more of a lurker so maybe I'll post slightly more (asinine comments.)

Thanks for the love, lovers.

Also Seeing the Pats lose erased any hate I had for the 41-0 molestation pains i had as a Vikings fan from 2001. You are forgiven, New York. Good work.

Posted by: TajMc at February 5, 2008 12:43 AM

Ahh, I made it! Nice. My first but i'm kind of a sporadic poster, more of a lurker so maybe I'll post slightly more (asinine comments.)

Thanks for the love, lovers.

Also Seeing the Pats lose erased any hate I had for the Giants. The 41-0 demons have finally passed on to the neither world. You are forgiven, New York. Good work.

Posted by: TajMc at February 5, 2008 12:43 AM

*in NFL documentary guy voice*

Superbowl 2008.... *cue in musical arrangement* the Patriots going in...over their heads ...in a battle they were meant TO LOSE ...the Giants *anointed by fate* punishing, in a merciless, unrelenting, .....UNSTOPPABLE! quest accomplished their god-given goal by humiliating and PUNISHING...the possibly Al-Quaeda affiliated Patriots.

W00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000t

suck it

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 5, 2008 3:31 AM

HallsyHatesU: It's true that the average Pajiban is on the north side of thirty. Personally I adore the maturity level of this site, it keeps me sane.

There are a few articulate teenagers who pop up every now and again and yet despite this I still feel kind of like the baby of Pajiba - at the grand old age of 22.

Also: How long are we going to have to endure the American Throwball talk? It it going to stop soon?

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 5, 2008 4:54 AM

Hey, sorry I am late. Damn video ga....

Wait a seccin'.

**looks quickly around for Vermillion**

*whipers* Because I'm so down. Your tattoo is unbelievably hot.

But only if my hubs can watch.

Oh, so that is how it is, huh? Going to sneak behind my back and make out with my woman?

*ponders the sight of so many wonderful TATTOOS*

....and not even invite me? I thought we were on the mend, but now I know you were just toying with me. I expected this from Alex, but not you boo. Not you.

I am going to be in my bunk. But I won't be happy. Okay, a little.

Posted by: Vermillion at February 5, 2008 6:09 AM

Is anyone else posting comments more frequently than before in the vain hope of turning up in one of these round-ups? Admittedly, I still average only around two comments a week, seeing as my limited reserves of wit rarely manage to produce anything worth sharing, but that's still more than I used to post.

Also, PissBoy's 'like a stripper fails her father' comment is one of the very few things I've read on the internet that has genuinely made me laugh out loud. Well played, sir.

Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 5, 2008 6:18 AM

YES! I'm an eloquent! Although pissboy's comment was definitely the best of the bunch. That comment should be framed and mounted on the pajiba wall of eloquence. Now that should be enough tongue-bathing for you this year, pissboy.

Oh you Americans and your "Foot"ball. Why don't you just call it Rugby, take off the pussy padding and get it over with?

Posted by: joker at February 5, 2008 7:55 AM

Well, considering that football has been around since, oh, I don't know, the 19th Century, I think we can stop with the "it's not real football if it's American football" poop. I think everyone who doesn't get the appeal and the obsession should come to a game, preferably an SEC college game, to get a feel for what we're talking about. It will change you forever.

Posted by: Kolby at February 5, 2008 9:09 AM

Thank you for that BSlim. Damm 1:00 meeting keeping me from going to the parade.

TajMc The abomination that was the Giants Ravens game should have helped with that as well

Posted by: Brian at February 5, 2008 10:32 AM

oh Verm: You know I'm just trying to protect your sweet, innocent young heart from the troubles that women will bring you.

It's all outta love, V. Love.

**whispers**

Don't tell Alex; I'll tape it for you for the right price...
What can I say? I'm an exhibitionist.

Posted by: boo at February 5, 2008 10:36 AM

BSlim, it is not "in NFL documentary guy voice". No sir, it is The Voice of God, John Facenda. And it would have to be something like: Forged on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, these *dramatic pause* Giants conquered all odds and found their way through the desert to the Promised Land. They reached out of the darkening abyss that defined their early season struggles and grasped destiny. Nothing short of divine intervention could prevent this David from slaying Goliath. They cast stone after stone and felled the unstoppable juggernaut that had been the New England Patriots.

Posted by: ScarletKnight at February 5, 2008 10:46 AM

Kolby... SEC football?

[sigh]

It truly wasn't meant to be, you and I.

Posted by: TK at February 5, 2008 11:13 AM

You realise you're going to have to split those profits, right boo?

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 5, 2008 11:29 AM

Come on, TK, I went to UF. I'd be deported from the Gator Nation if I didn't support the SEC.

I do have a cousin who played football for Boston College, if that helps. I'm not gonna name drop, though. ;)

Posted by: Kolby at February 5, 2008 11:42 AM

*sigh* I knew you would find me out.

Alright, split the profits, but only after we pay for a nice evening, and only if they come in the form of Euros. Fuck the American dollar and it's current state of worthlessness.

Wow. I never realized setting up a tryst would be so...conveniently acceptable to all parties. I love that you are flexible, Alex.

heh.

Posted by: boo at February 5, 2008 11:47 AM

Oooh, Kolby, he wouldn't happen to be a wee little man, now would he? Threw a little something called a Hail Mary?

Posted by: ScarletKnight at February 5, 2008 11:52 AM

Nah, Kolby. Besides, despite my Boston roots, I went to school in the Big 10.

And, um... ladies? You're going to give poor Vermillion a heart attack.

And I so prefer it when they're still alive.

[shuffle shuffle]

*guuuuuuuuhhhh*

Posted by: TK at February 5, 2008 12:00 PM

Hehe....you said she's flexible...

Cough...cough...ahem...I mean....good show...keep up the good work....

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 5, 2008 12:12 PM

ScarletKnight - I come from a family with very short men, yes.

TK - If you say that you went to OSU or Michigan, it's over. Ya hear me? OVER!

Posted by: Kolby at February 5, 2008 1:43 PM

Jesus, Kolby. What the Hell do you take me for? Some kind of miscreant? Frankly, I'm fucking offended.

The University of Wisconsin, kiddo.

Posted by: TK at February 5, 2008 2:00 PM

I love that you are flexible, Alex.

heh.

You say you wish to spare me pain, and then you say things like that. One could surmise you actually WANT to drive me insane. I think Alex is rubbing off on you...wait, I mean...uh...that she is turning you out...no, that isn't any better...okay, I will fin a clean way to say this eventually.

Posted by: Vermillion at February 5, 2008 2:02 PM

Unless....

You ladies would not be in the mind for a director/writer for this little flick, would you? I mean, I do have some experieince, and we can't just have you going all willy-nilly. Well, not right off, anyhow.

Posted by: Vermillion at February 5, 2008 2:04 PM

Hold the phone, people. I definitely missed the part where Alex & boo decided to star in a naughty, naughty film together. Before we know it the Pajiba Bus(ted) Tour will turn into the Pajiba BANG Bus(ted) Tour. Oh my god, I just grossed myself out.

TK - Go Badgers. Hee!

Posted by: Kolby at February 5, 2008 2:17 PM

So, Verm, did you just instigate what could be considered Pajiba's first porn movie????????????

I'm a REALLY excited about this. In my pants.

Which lends itself to another glowing idea:

Pajiba Porn Review!!!

Posted by: boo at February 5, 2008 3:23 PM

Hehe....seconded.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 5, 2008 3:27 PM

So do we start with a Classics Week boo or do we just delve right into The Devil in Miss Jones 6?

Posted by: ScarletKnight at February 5, 2008 3:35 PM

Y'all need to get laid.

Posted by: Kolby at February 5, 2008 3:47 PM

Oh, we totally have to start with a classics week, ScarletKnight. Totally.

Kolby, in my case, it's because I'm OVER sexed. Seriously. Me and my hubs wake up early just so....um, wow. I have gotten incredibly too intimate on this comment board today. Must be the solar eclipse tomorrow....

Posted by: boo at February 5, 2008 3:53 PM

Y'all need to get laid.

Well, can't you see I'm working on it?

P.S. You SOOOOO want to join in, don't you?

Posted by: Vermillion at February 5, 2008 4:42 PM

I prefer my men like I prefer my coffee - hot & tangible.

Posted by: Kolby at February 5, 2008 4:57 PM

Oooh....ouch, that was a helluva burn. I felt that from here.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 5, 2008 5:04 PM