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Lazy Monday

The Weekly Box Office Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Box Office Round-Ups | May 19, 2008 | Comments (17)


5. Baby Mama ($4.5 million; $47 million): At nearly $50 million already, Baby Mama is obviously not the Beeper King’s child; meanwhile, hot on the heels of this successful production, Lorne Michaels had attempted to fast-track Baby Mango’s Night at the Roxbury, but test audiences were lukewarm, citing squeamishness during a scene in which a head-bopping Baby Mango attempted to chew on Amy Poehler’s beef curtain on its way out of the birth canal.

4. Speed Racer ($7.6 million; $24 million): Hey look! Speed Racer! Did you miss it … ? So did everyone else in the country. Go Speed Racer! Go Speed Racer … gooooone.

3. What Happens in Vegas ($13.8 million; $40.3 million): Based on the mediocre success of What Happens, it looks like Ashton’s 10-year pact with Satan is about to finish its run — only one year left! Forget Kabbalah, Xenu is the only one left who can save your ass now, Ashton.

2. Iron Man ($31.2 million; $222 million): Now that Iron Man has officially passed the $200 million mark, Marvel is digging even deeper into its treasure trove of comic book characters and eyeing a 2011 release for Man Thing, starring Sarah Jessica Parker in the lead role. (Matthew, please send your angry comments to i-married-a-she-male@gmail.com.)

1. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian ($56 million): After a mediocre opening, which fell nearly $10 million short of the first installment’s opening weekend, Walt Disney Co., has decided to take the unusual tack of immediately remaking Prince Caspian, so as to not slow the franchise’s momentum. For the remake, Michael Bay has been hired to direct, and when the four children return to Narnia this time, they will be confronted by killer Transformers, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s Leatherface, and a giant meteor. Steve Coogan will also star as the voice of Aslan, and to scare off the meteor, he will break into Hamlet 2’s “Rock Me Sexy Jesus.” For no particular reason, Captain Caveman will also appear.

And, since we went with a “SNL” Digital Short for today’s title, I give you the latest: The Japanese version of “The Office.”


Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, The | Fox's 2008-2009 Schedule



Comments

Well that clearly wasn't the succes Disney was hoping for... Still, $56 million in one weekend is nothing to sneeze at.

Posted by: Johan Winkelaar at May 19, 2008 8:38 AM

Only Wiig was kinda funny in that short... And I'm an Office fanatic.

Posted by: CasKo at May 19, 2008 8:40 AM

The video has been pulled.

Sign me up for Coogan as Aslan

Posted by: Brian at May 19, 2008 9:21 AM

Yeah, no more Japanese Office. Boo.

Out of all of those movies I have only seen Iron Man. I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 19, 2008 9:28 AM

It's a holiday Monday here in Canada, but it's cold today, so I'm going to see a matinee. Based on the totally "meh" reaction to Prince Caspian, I think I'm going to see Iron Man one more time.

Posted by: Pea at May 19, 2008 9:48 AM

Take the video failure as an opportunity to discuss the Desperate Housewives season finale.

I haven't seen two single episodes of that show, but after reading a recap of yesterday's broadcast, I'm going for a raid on my g/f boxed collection.

Posted by: Adere at May 19, 2008 9:52 AM

I'll pass on "Baby Mango's Night at the Roxbury". I heard Lorne Micheals is shopping writers for "Mr. Peepers Marries Debbie Downer". I think I'll hold out for that.

Posted by: wsapnin at May 19, 2008 9:56 AM

CAPTAIN... CAAAAAAAAVEMAAAAAAANNN!

Whew. I needed that.

Posted by: TK at May 19, 2008 9:58 AM

No love for the Teen Angels?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at May 19, 2008 10:08 AM

Good idea, Pea. Go bless Queen Vickie, whoever the fuck she is. And also, Bad Dustin, Bad! Picking on SJP... But your right, whe she goes for the whole drag queen look, she's a little scary.

Posted by: Jeremy at May 19, 2008 10:10 AM

I thought that Japanese Office was hilarious. It basically exemplified the fact that The Office could be on mute, and you'd still know what was going on. "HA HA, Steve Carrell said something embarrassing and everyone is uncomfortable! Did you see it?" It showed us what will be realized in the future about The Office...same jokes, new episode. Just like "Two and a Half Men".
Long live 30 Rock and it's hypocritical embrace of Corporate America!!
Glug, glug, glug....Ah that's better.

Posted by: John at May 19, 2008 10:26 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bDQl9ueNfg

That URL should work for Ye Olde Japanese Office.

Posted by: Stew at May 19, 2008 10:49 AM

Wow John, way to miss a point... Other things SNL digital shorts have proven:

Obama could rap just as well as Jay-Z.
Hillary Clinton could me married to Will Arnett, and he wouldn't notice.
Early 90's singing douches gave dicks in boxes as presents.

Anymore brilliant analysis?

Posted by: CasKo at May 19, 2008 10:59 AM

Urm, is that David Krumholtz in the left-side banner? Too good-looking, I guess. I miss Mr. Universe and his robot bride.

Amy Poehler's beef curtain

Heh-heh, heh, you said "Pole 'er beef curtain."

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 19, 2008 11:17 AM

With all the crappy movies out, I'd be happy as hell with a Lazy Sunday Movie.
I told you I'm crazy 'bout those cupcakes, cousin!

Posted by: happycat at May 19, 2008 11:19 AM

Haha! "It's funny because it's racist". That clip made my lazy Monday.
CasKo : SNL digital shorts have also proven that Natalie Portman can rap like a "badass bitch".

Posted by: Agente Provocatrice at May 19, 2008 12:55 PM

NBC has posted the vidoe - Malcontent linked to it

Posted by: Brian at May 20, 2008 8:36 PM