January 28, 2008 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Box Office Round-Ups | January 28, 2008 |

5. Untraceable (Weekend: $12 million). “Yum, just what I needed to start my morning, images of a dead kitten. I see Dick Cheney has decided to start a web page.” — Kamikazi Feminist

“The ex Mr TheOdd and I used to pass time in particularly boring (usually quantum physics themed) lectures by listing the five worst ways to die: a sulphuric acid bath was one of them. Also on the list: drowning in superglue (think about how it would burn), being eaten alive by underfed hamsters, being planed to death and being crushed by a steamroller - feet first. I maintain that you’d pass out through shock on the last one so it doesn’t really count but he insisted on leaving it on the list.” — Alex the Odd

4. Cloverfield (Weekend: $12 millionTotal: $64 million).”Well Spork, apparently people have these things called opinions, and they vary and even sometimes your opinion ends up in the minority and you can either shrug your shoulders and move on or get bitterly angry about it.
Of course, depending on the issue either option can be valid.

Either way I don’t give two craps about JJ Abrams. I don’t really know anything about him or recognized he was involved until after watching the movie and reading other’s responses. And yeah, I liked it.

If that means I suck Abrams cock, well at least I’m getting protein in my diet.” — Andrew831.

3. 27 Dresses (Weekend: $13 million Total: $45 million).”This post deserves its own web site.” — Monica

“Is this where sanity and rationale go to die?.” — Melody

“This is great! I mean, it’s Katherine Heigl and over 300 posts. This is what Al Gore should have won the Nobel Peace Prize for. The Internet.” — TWoP Fan

2. Rambo (Weekend: $18 million). “One thing important issue you seemed to gloss over was the ubiquitous duality of man theme. Explored in some of my favorite films, such as ‘Straw Dogs’ and less subtly in ‘Full Metal Jacket,’ a large part of ‘Rambo’ was devoted to not so much discussing the role of the killer vs. savior in each human, but rather introducing the topic to interpretation.

It was evident to me that the mirrored roles of Rambo and Michael were meant to exemplify the two ends of the human spectrum, but those lines were blurred when Michael the missionary commits the un-commitable.

The film’s most revealing scene features the pacifist who believes killing for any reason is unequivocally wrong actually kills a man, by beating his head in with a rock, then is appalled with the literal and figurative blood on his hands. Not because he just killed a human being, but because he was capable of doing so.” — Ian

1. Meet the Spartans (Weekend: $19 million). “I can’t wait to avoid this movie!” — Odnon

“A gallon of Early Times? No, no, my friend. For having to watch this cinematic equivalent of a Wal-Mart clearance rack, you deserve much much more. First, to eliminate the possibility of even hazy memories, I suggest a weeklong bath/binge in West Virginias finest ‘shine. When the PTSD has subsided to a decent level, I suggest a few bottles of Bollinger Blanc de Noirs Vieilles Vignes Francaises to ease the transition into the sobriety and knowledge of the box office receipts for Meet The Spartans.” — IggieTC


I. Am. Shitty!

The Weekly Box Office Round-Up / The Eloquents

Box Office Round-Ups | January 28, 2008 | Comments ()

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