March 9, 2009 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Box Office Round-Ups | March 9, 2009 |

5. Who Cares I ($4.2 million; $133 million): A nice man emailed me over the weekend to tell me that my review for Paul Blart: Mall Cop was “offensively bad.” He wrote, “It seems that your criticisms of the movie were all about the character of paul blart. Dustin Rowles actually does a great portrayal of Paul Blart and the movie was great, as far as a comedy goes. You simply do not like the character. Maybe you weren’t supposed to like him. Maybe you were supposed to laugh at him, but instead you puffed up and bitched about it.”

Did that dude just call me fat?

4. Who Cares II ($6.9 million; $125 million): $125 million overall for the best picture winner? Not bad. Historically, that puts it in the middle of the pack for best picture winners. However, and I may be wrong on this, but I bet that puts it in the top five for all-minority casts. Can anyone name a more successful film that features an all non-white cast?

3. Who Cares III ($7.4 million; $118 million) And, with $118 million overall (and counting), Taken has become the highest grossing movie ever for a film you saw because there was nothing else decent to see.

2. Who Cares IV ($8.8 million; $76 million): As huge as Tyler Perry’s openings have been, I’m a little surprised to learn that $76 million is the most one of his films have grossed (Family Reunion hit $63 million). And with that, there’s already two new Tyler Perry movies in production: A sequel, Why Did I Get Married Too and, later this year, I Can Do Bad All By Myself. Seriously: I Can Do Bad All By Myself?

1. Watchmen ($55 million): My honest prediction — next week, a 65 percent drop, and a huge struggle to top $100 million domestically. Interest will wear off after the first weekend, and even the few folks who genuinely dug the movie won’t sit through it again. (It had a fairly significant 25 percent drop from Friday to Saturday). It’ll never come close to approaching 300’s $220 million, proving that comic-book movies — unless they are ironed and flattened out for the ignoramus masses (i.e., based on comic-book characters and not comic books)— will never break $200 million. And, honestly, I haven’t heard from anyone that hadn’t read the novel who actually liked the movie (and add that to the huge contingent that Dan’s review represented: Fans of the novel who didn’t feel the movie lived up to book). So, who wins? Jackasses like myself who liked the movie if only because it helped fill in all the gaps they missed or didn’t understand in the novel. In fact, as Cliff’s Notes for the book, Watchmen is a resounding success!

Now, who else wants to see a Comedian spin-off movie?

Four Movies No One Cares About and One We Won't Care About Next Week

The Weekly Box-Office Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Box Office Round-Ups | March 9, 2009 | Comments ()

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