free counter with statistics Box Office Round-Up 4/26/09 | Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Horror Porn for Black Women?


The Weekend Box-Office Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Box Office Round-Ups | April 26, 2009 | Comments (26)


The last week of April is another one of those proverbial dumping grounds for studios, as they know whatever opens is going to get crushed the following week, when Wolverine ominously opens the summer blockbuster season. So it was a bit of a surprise this weekend that Obsessed not only landed at number one, but that it racked up $28 million is receipts. $28 million for a Fatal Attraction rip-off?! That’s the power of Beyonce Knowles, people. And a PG-13 rating. Because God knows it wasn’t Idris Elba, because he didn’t do much for The Unborn or Prom Night or RocknRolla and Ali Larter couldn’t sell a hobo stick to a vagabond. So, what’s the real reason behind the success of Obsessed? It probably wasn’t her acting talent; Steven remarked that it may have been pleasantly surprising, but socalledonlycousins appropriately remarked, it was only surprising because “it didn’t melt your face and make you sterile while reaching back in time to kill all your kinsmen.”

No, I think khia13 probably hit the nail into Beyonce’s head:

Nobody seems to get that this is horror porn for black women. A black woman hasn’t won a fight in a movie since Tina Turner beat Ike with her shoe in “What’s Love got to do with it?” In a world where being blonde trumps everybody else, having Beyonce whip Ali Larter for her man, is like Christmas, the lotto and a seat at Oprah’s favorite things show!

We know it’s not good, but that won’t stop me and the girls from buying a super colossal belly buster popcorn and enough Twizzlers to stage a prison break and laughing our butts off at this one.

Well said, khia13. Well said.

The rest of the top five were bunched up around the $10 million range. At number two, 17 Again fell a modest 50 percent from last weekend, nearly reaching the $40 million mark overall and further validating THR’s notion that Efron is the next Tom Cruise (God, I hope he’s as batshit). Fighting, at $11.4 million, came in just $200,000 from 17 Again, and it’s about half what Channing Tatum’s Step Up opened with — that was Tatum’s last hit, three years ago. But worry not, Tatum fans — he’s got seven films on tap, including G.I. Joe (as Duke) and Public Enemies (as Pretty Boy Floyd). Funny, I haven’t seen him in any of the Public Enemies’ trailers. We’ll have that review up Monday afternoon.

The Soloist landed at number four with a thud, racking up $9.7 million, which is pre-Iron Man numbers for Downey (even Zodiac opened with $13 million, and it was widely considered a box-office failure). Nobody is blaming it on the the adult-oriented film genre this week (even though 85 percent of those who saw The Soloist were over 25). The problem, perhaps, is that the very people The Soloist was targeting (the affluent, white NPR crowd) may have felt offended by their perception of the movie. Meg’s comment was particularly salient:

This whole movie had “Crash 2: White Guilt Boogaloo” written all over it. It’s giving me the fear that my cousin, who told me that people don’t understand racism but they would if they saw “Crash” (she called it one of the best movies of our time), will whip this one out when I next sees her. “People are so ignorant about homelessness and mental illness, they should see ‘The Soloist’!”

The other thing that The Soloist had going against it was clearly a growing dislike of Jamie Foxx. You win one unwarranted Oscar and everybody hates you.

Finally, rounding out the top five was Earth, the Disney nature documentary narrated by James Earl Jones, which finished with $8.6 million; $14 million since it’s Wednesday opening. We won’t be reviewing Earth because we really just don’t give a shit. If you want to know whether you’d like it, watch Planet Earth for two hours.

A couple of other minor notes: State of Play fell quickly from second to 7th, bringing in less than $7 million. It’ll be lucky to make $40 million domestically (though, it should fare well on DVD). Also notable: Crank High Voltage had the biggest drop of any movie, falling 65 percent from its opening frame to number 10, with only $2.4 million in its second week. Among independent films, Mickey Rourke’s The Informers performed atrociously — $300,000 on 484 screens, which was good for less than $625 per screen (Prisco will have a review later this week). The Mike Tyson documentary, Tyson, meanwhile, had a fairly strong opening — it had a nearly $8,000 per screen average, which was the second best on the charts behind only Obsessed. However, it only opened in 11 theaters and tallied $86,000. God willing, it won’t do as well when/if it expands.


5. Earth ($8.4 million; $14 million)

4. The Soloist ($9.7 million)

3. Fighting ($11.4 million)

2. 17 Again ($11.6 million; $39 million)

1. Obsessed ($28 million)


Obsessed Review | G-Force Trailer



Comments

Why would Crank 2 have a noticeable drop? People should be telling their friends about this! It was bad ass.
And did anyone else go see that "This American Life" at the Movies thing? I liked it but I'm not entirely familiar with the show.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at April 26, 2009 6:14 PM

I didn't even KNOW Rourke had a film coming out. Studio dropped the ball methinks.

And I'm appalled by the lack of respect for Mr. James Earl Jones aka Darth Vader.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 26, 2009 6:21 PM

As if we didn't have enough Beyonce overexposure already, now she's a fucking boneified blockbuster movie star.

I'm going to go and listen to some obscenely loud metal in the hopes that I can accelerate my hearing loss. Then I'm going to go and buy a white cane, because it's only a matter of time before I'll have to claw out my eyes in order to save what little sanity I have left. At least the Government will give me a trained monkey to do shit for me.

Posted by: admin at April 26, 2009 6:32 PM

And no, I didn't misspell "bonafied".

Posted by: admin at April 26, 2009 6:33 PM

i saw This American Life in theaters as well! It was really excellent and seeing Joss Whedon sing made me happy. We also snuck into the planet earth movie afterwards, it was really pretty, but they kept killing baby animals. I think James EarL Jones got a little too excited about those parts to tell you the truth.

Posted by: Betty at April 26, 2009 6:55 PM

Awww, did "Zodiac" bomb? I enjoyed it, but mostly for watching Anthony Edwards (good to see ya!) and Mark Ruffalo eat club sandwiches and stuff. Made we want to go to Denny's. Chloe Sevigny looked cute too.

Regarding Statham, I had no idea my boy Ted Leo was a fan:

http://tedleo.com/news_archives.php?news_item_id=344&offset=0

Posted by: Jay at April 26, 2009 7:01 PM

i'm gonna HAVE to call you back.

Posted by: gp at April 26, 2009 7:02 PM

wow, thanks jay, how am i supposed to stalk ted leo if you give me a broken tour date link?


good thing i already have the dates on my mirror at the office. written in chicken's blood.

Posted by: gp at April 26, 2009 7:07 PM

Why is there no review of "Fighting"? I've been waiting all weekend. You guys always say those 'Movie Genre' movies are the worst things out there, but I have to say Fighting is the first trailer that made me sit up and say "Is this a joke?" Please? I need to see someone ream that piece of crap.

Posted by: VentureSister at April 26, 2009 7:12 PM

No no, the tour dates seem to be fixed, I was just isolating that entry. And hooray, he's coming on a Thursday when I'm off on Friday! Working the next day's bad enough without adding the drive back from Athens.

Posted by: Jay at April 26, 2009 7:19 PM

'All the blondes are fantasies...'

I agree about Idris Elba not having the clout to pull in the big numbers--yet? Let's hope that the exposure he got in this film and from his arc on THE OFFICE will lead to him getting some kind of leverage. When I get my WABAC Machine working, I'm going to re-animate Cleavon Little. Dag, that dude had charisma to burn!

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at April 26, 2009 7:21 PM

I'd just like to mention that I borrowed khia13's line about Obsessed being "horror porn for black women," and I scored some strong points in a semi-intellectual conversation regarding the reactions of different ethnic groups to mainstream pop culture. In short: I sounded a lot smarter than I really am most of the time. Thanks Pajiba!

Posted by: spoobnooble at April 26, 2009 7:38 PM

I don't imagine Informers is easy to review. It's not a character driven melee like movie and television is dominated by these days. With all the BEEllis readers, I wouldn't want to say too much on what I think the movie was selling. It certainly wasn't about threesomes the way I heard some of y'all telling it. There were no main characters superior to any other. It was a difficult conceit to execute even if the conclusion is easy to write. Excess breeds emptiness. Maybe it is just me, but I came away from the theatre guilty for wanting more characterization, paranoid of my own social appetite, and discomfited by what might have been blind censure. Doubly ironic and borderline hypocritical since it's like hearing a parable from a telefangelist about Catholic decadence--not sparing any of the details. It is only not hypocritical because it offers no solutions. Just more of the same.

You guys tell me if I am way off here. While I can probably ratchet up that sex talk to just the irregular Pajiban libido typing, Informers did have lots of naked Amber Heard. I don't know who she is, but she is gorgeous. The bisexual stuff is glossed over and given about 6 lines of dialogue. The music is well chosen, and so is the pain. The only thing that keeps this from being a great movie is a lack of confidence by the director to fully embrace the dark places this movie was going to anyway. The characters are the destination, not the story. Good for a change of pace. Yet it is far too tidy and cheap to slide off of a montage no matter what is finally being conveyed.

The moms and pops probably just didn't want to explain death to their kids. They left it up to the public schools. Buses were in and out of there all hours last week.

Did anyone else buy Planet Earth and not find Sigourney Weaver narrating?

Posted by: Jackseppelin at April 26, 2009 7:47 PM

I would totally buy a hobo stick from Ali Larter, and I am merely raffish.

Posted by: Will at April 26, 2009 8:04 PM

holy shit! Ted Leo's playing in Baltimore! in June!

holy shit, that's two days after BaconEast. I don't know if I'll even be sober by then.

Posted by: lizzieborden at April 26, 2009 8:07 PM

I can't remember the last time a movie came out that I just HAD HAD HAD to see.

That makes me so fucking sad.

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at April 26, 2009 8:28 PM

I do. The last movie I really, REALLY wanted to see was Coraline. Before that was The Dark Knight. Now how long ago was that? Some serious months methinks!

Posted by: Four Eyes at April 26, 2009 9:00 PM

I once had a dream that Beyonce was going to give me a blow job (seriously), and just as she started the head bob I woke up.

Gotta admit, I was pissed.

That prick tease will never get a dime out of me.

I won't even go IN a Bed, Bath & Beyonce.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 26, 2009 9:06 PM

What was unwarranted about the Ray Oscar? Here were the nominees:

Ray - Jamie Foxx
The Aviator - Leonardo DiCaprio
Finding Neverland - Johnny Depp
Hotel Rwanda - Don Cheadle
Million Dollar Baby - Clint Eastwood

I really think Foxx deserved this, even though Ray wasn't a good movie. Fuck, it wasn't even the best Ray Charles movie. (Blues Brothers has that honor.) But it was a warranted Oscar.

And what should you care, Clint Eastwood got everything else that night, just like you Mystic River over Return of the King assholes wanted.

Posted by: George at April 26, 2009 9:44 PM

I love the idea of boycotting an actor or actress because they fucked up your dreams.

Years ago, I had an awesome dream (no, not a sex dream...thank God) involving Stanley Tucci, and I think it just totally made me fall in love with him. It's kind of bizarre.

Posted by: figgy at April 26, 2009 10:18 PM

I wish I could say that I saw The Soloist like I said I would, but I got a ticket to see the Dalai Lama, and couldn't pass it up. And I could have seen The Soloist on Sunday, but I was hung over.

Posted by: DoubleH at April 27, 2009 12:54 AM

*but I have a hangover.

I'm going back to bed apparently I can't even comment properly.

Posted by: DoubleH at April 27, 2009 12:59 AM

Hotel Rwanda - Don Cheadle

That's why it was unwarranted. Plus his name is Jamie Foxx. I don't care how great an actor he might be, I can't take the dude seriously.

And I wish Beyonce would hurry up and start having Jay-Z's babies so we can forget about her for a while.

Posted by: Kolby at April 27, 2009 9:28 AM

A lot of time would have been saved if one movie were made out of this list.
The movie is called "Earth Fights Back". RDJ and Idris do the commentary while Jamie Foxx gets one of the x's violently torn from his name by a polar bear, Tatum Channing gets eviscerated by a provoked kangaroo in slow motion, Zac Efron is forced to sing for his ass virginity by a rogue band of horny male orangutans and fails completely, and Beyonce is eaten whole by a shark only to get stuck in its craw ala Jaws III, never to be digested.
Now you have my $10, Hollywood.

Posted by: Kballs at April 27, 2009 10:40 AM

"A black woman hasn’t won a fight in a movie since Tina Turner beat Ike with her shoe in “What’s Love got to do with it?” "

i distinctly recall that the black female protagonist of alien v predator did win the fight in the end and was the only survivor left.

oh wait-is this is a different kinda fight your talking about?

Posted by: NASH OUT! at April 27, 2009 2:34 PM

You want to know why Obsessed and 17 Again are at the top of the box office? Because my little freshmen students aaaaaaaaaaall went to see them over April break and would not stop talking about them today! Kids have too much freaking spending money.

By the way, they totally loved hearing about the bad math of the people who made 17 Again (it's 20 years later but his daughter is still in high school.... on the review or the comments section) and I was totally able to plug "See kids, this is why math is important!" Even though I'm an English teacher.

Posted by: Ariel at April 27, 2009 4:36 PM