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The Weekly Box Office Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Box Office Round-Ups | August 4, 2008 | Comments (71)

6. Swing Vote ($6.3 million): Kevin Costner is back and better than ever!

5. Journey to the Center of the Earth (6.8 $ million; $73 million): Could teach National Geographic a little something about geology!

4. Mamma Mia ($13 million; $87 million): The perfect movie for straight men of all ages!

3. Step Brothers ($16 million; $62 million): The first truly original comedy of the Aughts; Will Ferrell like you’ve never seen him before!

2. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor ($42 million): Finally, a smart movie for discriminating viewers tired of the same old action films!

1. The Dark Knight ($43 million; $394 million): Iron Man was better!


← Swing Vote | Frozen River →



Comments

The LOLing spambots lurk in the night...

Posted by: PissBoy at August 4, 2008 9:10 AM

Ahhh, The classic Batman v. Iron Man argument. Let the bickering start in three, two, one, and go...

Posted by: Jeremy at August 4, 2008 9:16 AM

Wow! Brendan Fraser has 2 bad movies in the top 5. They won't win him an Oscar, but he's laughing all the way to the bank.

Posted by: BWeaves at August 4, 2008 9:21 AM

What's that you say? Mamma Mia! only dropped 26.1% of its audience from last weekend and is on course to surpass $100 million? But how is this possible? Surely an ABBA-inspired, over-acted, vacuous "Greek travelogue" like this has no business generating such numbers! Fuck Mammma Mia! and fuck anyone who likes this fucking waste of celluloid!

(See? I can "do" sarcastic, too!)

Oh and I promise that this will be my last pro-Mamma Mia!, "see, I told you so, bitches" post. Promise.

Posted by: boogs at August 4, 2008 9:24 AM

How the hell is Mama Mia still on that list? Does Walmart operate movie theaters now?

Posted by: Sage at August 4, 2008 9:27 AM

This article: Dustin's FINEST work!

Posted by: WampaLord at August 4, 2008 9:31 AM

i will defend mamma mia (while it is certainly not my favorite movie, even on that list): not everyone wants dark, brooding awesome. it just doesn't appeal. instead hey want fluffy escapism. what else is out right now to capture that? WALL*E is it, and if you don't want to see a "kid's" movie, mamma mia is the film you choose.

Posted by: maggie at August 4, 2008 9:34 AM

When is the Iron man/Batman crossover movie slated for? Hell, the trailer for that could make 100 million.

Posted by: MrC at August 4, 2008 9:36 AM

Maggie, If I want fluffy escapism, I'll beat off with a rabbits foot.

Posted by: sage at August 4, 2008 9:36 AM

Maggie, you just don't pay attention, do you?

Journey to the Center of the Earth (6.8 $ million; $73 million): Could teach National Geographic a little something about geology!

That made me pee a little.

Posted by: Jaci at August 4, 2008 9:39 AM

I love a well-thought out column.

Posted by: Cindy at August 4, 2008 9:40 AM

Who said "Mamma Mia" was going to fail?

Posted by: Jay at August 4, 2008 9:42 AM

Short and sweet, Rowles, short and sweet.

Boogs, I'll back you up--I saw Mamma Mia and thought it was actually kind of cute. It's not for everyone, and certainly not for all Pajibans, but I found it to be fluffy-fun. (This from a gal who hates ABBA!)

I have to say, it was fun to see Peirce Brosnan bravely singing on as though he didn't sound like the drunkest dude in the Karaoke bar. Good on him! Between that and The Matador, you know that man can laugh at himself. Mmmm, sexy.

Okay, now is anyone else out there retching at these House Bunny previews already? ARGH! It's...just....so....ARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!! "Here's a movie idea: Poor geeky and unhappy smart girls learn to be cookie-cutter pretty girly-girls so that the boys will like them and they can be happy! ...Oh, and I guess the sexy bunny should learn that smart can be cool, so that the feminists won't jump down our throats. Heh heh, although I wouldn't mind jumping down their throats, know what I'm saying? Heh heh."

I'm going to go sob quietly in the corner now....

Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 4, 2008 9:44 AM

MO(meaux)'s post made me want to cry too, even though I'm supposed to be a grownup and thus accepting of the fact that all our social interaction starts from cold, merciless assessments of our physical attractiveness.

Posted by: karstark at August 4, 2008 9:54 AM

fluffy escapism

I don't understand what you mean. I enjoy my escapism either slapstick or dark and evil, like my soul.

Besides, that sounds like a description for something illicit on Craigslist.

Posted by: Melody at August 4, 2008 9:57 AM

Which, now that I think about it, is really almost the only reason ANYONE could still forgive Pierce Brosnan singing like that in Mamma Mia. Oooo! Tie-in! Tie-in!

Posted by: karstark at August 4, 2008 9:57 AM

I feel the need to inform you people that Amazon.com has the entire series of Firefly on sale all day today for $17.99.


I know that Firefly is spectacularly well loved here.

Posted by: Melody at August 4, 2008 10:06 AM

Oh, karstark, you can come cry in my corner. I'll accept you even though you must be hideous, as evidenced by your obvious intelligence.

Gad, Pajibaland must be positively overrun by ugly people who are too smart to figure out how to operate a hairbrush and put together an outfit!

Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 4, 2008 10:08 AM

I feel the need to inform you people that Amazon.com has the entire series of Firefly on sale all day today for $17.99.

....and, Melody gets an automatic Comment of the Week with that one!

Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 4, 2008 10:10 AM

MO(meaux), you just cracked my sh*t up. I've been seeing that damnable thing for months now. It makes my soul hurt.

Sorry, I got nothin' for a tie-in though... way to go karstark.

Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at August 4, 2008 10:13 AM

MO (meaux):

Your post is a bright spot in an otherwise relentlessly gloomy morning. I haven't seen Mamma Mia YET, but I know Pierce Brosnan has a fantastic sense of humor (to go with his fantastic everything else) so I'm looking forward to him hamming it up. And God-damn YES on the Bunny movie thing. Does anyone else think it's about time we stopped giving false hope to geeky girls? Stop letting them think there's a warm-hearted blonde around the corner who will help them to snag the local jock with a little lip gloss and some pink clothing. For heaven's sake. They should be at home listening to Janis Ian and biding their time for their early thirties when the guy next door who became a neurosurgeon dumps his first blonde fluffy wife (a little too much flab after the second kid) and turns to someone he can actually have a concersation with and who has a career of her own so he won't go broke supporting her (when he inevitably dumps her for the cute nurse in Ward 12).

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 4, 2008 10:17 AM

"I learned the truth at seventeen." Thanks PaddyDog, for ripping me back to 1973 and my zits.

Posted by: BWeaves at August 4, 2008 10:23 AM

They should be at home listening to Janis Ian

Now now, you know Liz Lemon bummed everyone out doing Janis Ian karaoke. I can't have you encouraging that!

I certainly seem to have found myself in the considerably younger/divorced zone of women who are (still) single. The younger thing caught me off guard, but I knew I was destined for the "yes....I'm still here" later years, though sadly I am not the nerd who became a tycoon! Rats!

Well, Fox was smart in making "X-Files" cheaply, and I'll commend that. Obviously it was just me being too busy to go until this Friday keeping its numbers down. I'm gonna fix everything!

Posted by: Jay at August 4, 2008 10:37 AM

Iron Man was better

Just so you know, I'm submitting that to the passive-aggressive notes website.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 4, 2008 10:44 AM

Liz Lemon did Janis Ian karaoke? How could I have missed that? And where can I find the clip?

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 4, 2008 10:47 AM

Thank god Dark Knight beat out Mummy 3. I was afraid for a moment that it was going to be number 1...only a moment though.

Oh, and Boogs, whatever Mamma Mia does now is nothing compared to what Dark Knight is doing. It'll peak when it wins a couple Golden Globes, while doing coke in the lady's room. Afterwards, it'll clean up, find Jesus (he's behind the couch), and admit that it'll never win an Oscar. It will be content with its mediocrity...why can't you be? I know you had your "last pro Mamma Mia" post, but you're gonna have to break it to stop me.

Posted by: Mike R. at August 4, 2008 10:56 AM

How could I have missed that? And where can I find the clip?

First season episode "The Break Up". Being NBC/Universal it's seemingly clipless. This Hulu dealie jobbie you all talk about appears to only have second season episodes.

Posted by: Jay at August 4, 2008 11:00 AM

What I find insulting is the assumption that smart girls also happen to be unaware of fashion and proper make-up technique. I don't need a damn Playmate to show me how to dress and use eyeliner, I've been doing it myself for years now. It's incredibly confusing to people that I don't follow the "smart girl" dress code of baggy jeans, shapeless tee shirts and earth toned sweaters/hoodies. My three addictions are Urban Decay cosmetics, expensive shoes, and debunking dearly held but obviously false truths. I'm a lot of fun at parties, trust me.

*ahem* Now to get ready for my job at a professional football training camp.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at August 4, 2008 11:18 AM

Wah! Wah! Wah! The last thing I need to hear is the drip-drop of some ugly bitch tears before lunch. I'm just counting the days until my leggy blonde sensei arrives to offer me the salvation of some man trapping skills. Too long have I been burdened by my dignity and intelligence. Soon I will be transformed in to into a white(orange), borderline anorexic, vacant, Grade C piece o' arm candy. I will become an expert in speaking only when spoken to, sleeping with my eyes open during sex, and poking holes in condoms. I'll be able to bag and divorce a podiatrist in no time. Do you know who goes to podiatrists? Everyone. Then I'll be crushing eagle skulls in my Hummer with my monthly checks(kids) while you bagfaces are tooling around in your in Smart(dumb) Cars with your degrees and your careers and your accomplishments and shit. Peace, bitches!

Posted by: jM at August 4, 2008 11:37 AM

Amen, Genny--it's ridiculous to assume that all smart women are incapable of looking stylish. I have a girly side for sure, even though I frequently abide by the "smart-girl dress code" as well. Depends on my mood--after a few days of hardcore field work, I've been known to show up in the office looking hyperfeminine. It's all about balance, baby.

On the other hand, what the hell is wrong with not looking cookie-cutter cute? Here's to Liz Lemon Chic! Pam Beesly Fabulousity!

Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 4, 2008 11:42 AM

jM, Bah-ha-ha! Too funny.

Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 4, 2008 11:45 AM

You need to include accredidation for the blurbs.

I prefer this one:
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor: Chiena! China! China! NBC! NBC! NBC! Product Placement! Product Placement! Product Placement! (Jack Donaghy - VP of development for NBC/GE/Universal/Kmart)

Posted by: Brian at August 4, 2008 11:54 AM

I prefer my smart geeky girls to look like Playboy bunnies...I won't even glance at them otherwise.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 4, 2008 12:03 PM

I'll be able to bag and divorce a podiatrist in no time. Do you know who goes to podiatrists? Everyone.

Hee!

But jM, without the boyfriend baiting prowess of Anna Faris, how else will a slightly awkward 18 year-old become self-actualized? I for one know that the depth of MY awesomeness comes from that one time in 1998 where I was accosted by that hooterific girl with the pale pink lipstick who bitch slapped me and shoved me into a tube top and tight black pants while humming Matchbox 20.

Posted by: Julie at August 4, 2008 12:12 PM

Whoa, when did all of Pajiba get italicized. I feel so... left out.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at August 4, 2008 12:18 PM

Italicized? How about estrogenated? You wanna talk about feeling left out...

Posted by: Grover at August 4, 2008 12:23 PM

...I was accosted by that hooterific girl with the pale pink lipstick who bitch slapped me and shoved me into a tube top and tight black pants while humming Matchbox 20.

Good God Julie, if that happened to me, I would have blown a rape whistle and yelled fire.

Grover, are you a podiatrist by any chance?

Posted by: jM at August 4, 2008 12:33 PM

I don't know about that, jM...that sounds kinda hot. Especially if there's video, And a lot of gratuitous rubbing.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 4, 2008 12:38 PM

"I will become an expert in speaking only when spoken to, sleeping with my eyes open during sex, and poking holes in condoms."

jM, I love you in a soul-to-soul kind of way.

Posted by: popejenn at August 4, 2008 12:41 PM

Why yes, jM -- as a matter of fact, I am. Feet are my passion! That, and objectifying my just-legal arm candy (you aren't fooling me again, Chris Hansen!).

My Hummer awaits your dazzling anorexic vacancy...

Posted by: Grover at August 4, 2008 12:43 PM

Grover, are you a podiatrist by any chance?

Or a panda?

Posted by: Julie at August 4, 2008 12:43 PM

Whenever I hear about House Bunny type movies, I will forever be reminded of:
"No, not Janey Briggs. She's got glasses. And a ponytail. Ugh, she's got paint on her overalls."

Yes, Not Another Teen Movie, because that's what all those teen girl movies have congealed into.

Posted by: branded at August 4, 2008 12:47 PM

Well, Julie, I did consult on Ling Ling's unfortunate bunion problem before she died. Consider me a pandering panda podiatrist.

Posted by: Grover at August 4, 2008 12:47 PM

I did consult on Ling Ling's unfortunate bunion problem before she died.

This is the very best reply I have ever seen on any forum anywhere.

Posted by: Jerce at August 4, 2008 12:55 PM

Whew, Grover, I'm swooning over here! Rowr!

Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 4, 2008 12:56 PM

Well, Julie, I did consult on Ling Ling's unfortunate bunion problem before she died. Consider me a pandering panda podiatrist.

Grover, did Ling Ling...mention me? I know it was a long time ago, but that night really meant something to me.

Posted by: jM at August 4, 2008 12:57 PM

...I was accosted by that hooterific girl with the pale pink lipstick who bitch slapped me and shoved me into a tube top and tight black pants while humming Matchbox 20.

See, I read this pull quote and was about to ask "when, 1998?" then looked above.

I did like those poly-looking pants though, whether they were really tight or not, and women got to enjoy that wrinkle-free lifestyle us Dickies wearers cling to for a little while. I think Britt Daniel's the only person wearing that sponge-clean twill now (though I'd hate to be under stage lights in them). They went well, for me, with the clunkier shoe styles that were going around. I also miss those shoes that were like stacked heel penny loafers (circa 95). I seem to be the only person to remember them fondly, but, oh well.

(Now...the tight pants, which are sometimes black, which are really just sweatpants with a thick dipping waistband and flared at the bottom? This shows the 21st century is not an improvement in every way, and this terry Juicy culture has got to stop!)

(because....ick!)

Posted by: Jay at August 4, 2008 12:58 PM

jM, you know Ling Ling died of a broken heart, right? You do the math...

As for you, meaux, that soft panda growl will race my pulse every time!

Here's where I might be tempted to indulge my fondness for alliteration again if I wasn't concerned about blowing my cover this close to making a panda-rific hookup...

Posted by: Grover at August 4, 2008 1:13 PM

This shows the 21st century is not an improvement in every way, and this terry Juicy culture has got to stop!

Oh my Christ do I hate those sweatpants. I'm sorry, I do not want my ass to be labled as juicy. That brings back memories of sitting in a car with two friends for 48 hours straight while driving cross-country to San Francisco. We were ripe.

I can not wear sweat pants in public, I feel undressed.

Posted by: Julie at August 4, 2008 1:27 PM

A few guesses from that breakdown:

- Mamma Mia! will likely move past the $100 million mark, but may taper now that Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 is coming out.

- Journey to the Center of the Earth will likely have a longer campaign than Mummy 3.

- Step Brothers and Swing Vote are dead the moment Pineapple Express arrives.

- The Dark Knight - estimate over $500 mil. Close but not overtaking Titanic.

Posted by: BFFredo at August 4, 2008 1:42 PM

I actually like the existence of the terry Juicy culture. Like their familiar companions, the Ugg boots paired with a mini skirt in July, they instantly signal to me that I need make no effort getting to know the person wearing them and can glide on to attempt mingling with higher life forms

(pauses for the typical element to accuse me of elitism)

Thank you all for listening.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 4, 2008 2:02 PM

[points finger]

ELITIST BITCH!!!

...

...

(let's hang out)

Posted by: TK at August 4, 2008 2:06 PM

Let he/she who has never worn HyperColor, Bedazzled, pencil ties, etc. throw the first stone at the hoochy Juicy culture.

For those with selective memories, let me direct you to Get Mortified

Posted by: branded at August 4, 2008 2:21 PM

Since childhood, I have appreciated the efforts of people who take the trouble to outfit themselves in such a way as to let me know that I do not have to waste my time with them. Time is so precious.

Posted by: Jerce at August 4, 2008 2:28 PM

Hee, branded, what's wrong with my Bedazzler?!

Posted by: Julie at August 4, 2008 2:31 PM

Julie, nothing that can class up a denim jacket can ever be called wrong. Ever.

Posted by: branded at August 4, 2008 2:37 PM

Tell that to my Bedazzled underwear :( You haven't known pain until you've sat down hard on a handfull of rhinestones.

Posted by: Julie at August 4, 2008 2:43 PM

TK:

Are you aware that BarbadoSlim is back? Have you checked the locks on the basement door? Really, I rely on you to maintain strict security protocol at all times. What is the world coming to?

Also, what the fuck is a "Hypercoloted Bedazzled Pencil Tie"? It appears I rightfully threw the first stone afterall.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 4, 2008 2:44 PM

HyperColor and BeDazzled denim anything made life worth living back then.

Posted by: jennybean at August 4, 2008 2:45 PM

Paddy, it all just convinces me that work on my underground bunker needs to start soon.

Posted by: Melody at August 4, 2008 2:45 PM

Also, what the fuck is a "Hypercoloted Bedazzled Pencil Tie"?

They were meant as separate items, but you may have stumbled upon on the perfect combo of 80's nostalgia. The Voltron of clothing line, if you will.

I've flown my nerd flag far too much today.

Posted by: branded at August 4, 2008 2:50 PM

branded, and that's why you're my favorite person of the day.

Paddy, the guy who built that room swore it was impregnable. That lying, rotten motherfucker, I am going to gut him like a pig and feed his guts to my pigs, then gut those pigs out of spite.

So yeah, a couple of my... um... servants managed to escape. For my money however, an angry B-Slim is the far greater threat. But I will find him. Oh yes, I surely will.

Posted by: TK at August 4, 2008 2:59 PM

Now...the tight pants, which are sometimes black, which are really just sweatpants with a thick dipping waistband and flared at the bottom?

Okay now, this sounds like the description of my housepants (Minus the words on the butt because I don't truck with that kind of ignorance.) which are quite comfy. I love my housepants dearly but rarely, if ever, are they worn outside the confines of my own home. Because they're housepants, you know; pants for the house. And because nobody besides Mr. Pink, who married me for some bizarre reason and signed up for all my bits and parts, should be subjected to my fat, fucking thighs encased in grey stretchy fabric.

Posted by: Alabamapink at August 4, 2008 3:26 PM

4. Mamma Mia ($13 million; $87 million): The perfect movie for straight men of all ages!

Well, I did enjoy Amanda Seyfried in a swimsuit and/or see through clothing for most of the film...

Posted by: Robert at August 4, 2008 4:15 PM

Well, I did enjoy Amanda Seyfried in a swimsuit and/or see through clothing for most of the film...


...what? Why am I just hearing about this part? I'm seeing this thing.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 4, 2008 4:21 PM

Many of my friends insist that I should see Mamma Mia, that I would like it. Many of these friends are retired older ladies with whom I attend an exercise class. (Seriously, I'm one of the few attendees who still works full-time.) When I answer, no, I don't think I would like it, they are genuinely surprised. Evidently I project older than I feel, or Mamma Mia really appeals to the retirement-age demographic.

This is not intended as a slur on senior citizens. I am sure there are a lot of seniors among the Iron Man/TDK audiences, too.

Posted by: rlr260 at August 4, 2008 4:48 PM

Dammit, Dustin...you couldn't resist throwing out that last remark with that point that works like "I'm a ZIT! Get it?!"

Then when things don't seem to be too bad, you gotta yell out "FOOD FIGHT!!!"

(yes, Animal House...watched it again last night.)

(Sigh) I liked The Dark Knight better.


Hmm...oddly enough (and it might be because I'm skipping over many of the previous posts...so if I'm wrong, please don't kill me), there doesn't seem to be a lot of feuding over that Iron Man / TDK statement...everybody probably got all that outta their system already. Oh, well...

Posted by: Riley at August 4, 2008 6:23 PM

Oh, Ted stole Dustin's thunder on that one with the last Boozehound.

or Mamma Mia really appeals to the retirement-age demographic.

It would seem so, having listened to the Girls Afternoon Out in the row behind me after the trailer. The golden girls arrre into it.

Posted by: Jay at August 4, 2008 6:49 PM

Finally saw the Dark Knight this weekend. So you can count our 20 bucks in that 400 million dollar pot. You're welcome. Pennywise the Clown from It now runs a close second to Heath Ledger's Joker as the scariest, most effed up clown I have ever seen on film. And I am totally buying one of those bat motorcycles. It is an essential driving machine.

Big ups to the Pierce Brosnan love. I will watch Mamma Mia when it shows up on cable. I love ABBA, love Pierce Brosnan and love Meryl Streep. But this is not a movie I could convince anyone else to see with me, so it might make a fine Hangover Theater selection for me.

Catch full episodes of Remington Steele (yeah bitches, I said Remington Steele - don't act like you don't know !)on hulu.com. The 80's were hilarious and I think Brosnan's hair may have been glued to his head. Go on, watch it. It will make you happy. And you will think fondly of me for pointing it out.

Posted by: greer at August 4, 2008 7:41 PM

Sorry this is late, but job hunting and failing.

So let me get this straight, as a country we bitch about $4 gas and the cost of the Iraq War, but dump $42 mill on a third installment of shit. I am so confused.

Posted by: richmac at August 4, 2008 11:33 PM

There is no excuse for a bad musical. but a bad musical based on ABBA songs? That is criminal.

Posted by: the lonely bass at August 6, 2008 3:41 PM