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Dwayne Johnson Rocks the Box-Office

Blame Seth for the Headline / Dustin Rowles

Box Office Round-Ups | March 16, 2009 | Comments (20)

5. Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail ($5 million; $83 million): Is there anything a black man in a gender-reversing fat suit can’t do, folks? I mean, besides comedy.

4. Taken ($6.6 million; $126 million): Seven weeks in the top five. The biggest movie of the year, worldwide. The top domestic PG-13 movie. And it’s now poised to pass Ransom to become the most successful kidnapping movie of all time. Just think how much better it would’ve done at the box office if it were Tyler Perry’s Taken.

3. The Last House on the Left ($14.5 million): Fun fact: Of all the horror remakes ever produced, only two have surpassed $100 million at the box office, and both were J-Horror: The Grudge and The Ring. Only twelve have surpassed $50 million. And yet, there are at least 10 currently in production and scheduled for release this year or next. But, with production budgets of between $10 and $20 million, most manage to recoup their investment on opening weekend alone, which means it won’t be much longer before they’re remaking all the remakes. (Our review will be up later today)

2. Watchmen ($18 million; $86 million): A 67 percent drop since opening weekend all but assures that Watchmen won’t make back its investment in theaters. Just hitting $100 million is an iffy prospect, at this point. It has, however, at least become the biggest grossing Alan Moore adaptation, surpassing V for Vendetta. What are the odds that Hollywood attempts to adapt another of his novels? Is there anything left worth the effort?

1. Race to Witch Mountain ($25 million): $25 million is good enough to be Dwayne Johnson’s second biggest opener, behind The Scorpion King. It’s hard to hate on The Rock, so I won’t. Agent Bedhead will have a review up later today.


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Comments

Is there anything left worth the effort?

Top 10 would be pretty fun. I don't exactly think there'll be a movie of Lost Girls.

Posted by: Jay at March 16, 2009 9:22 AM

$83 fucking million dollars Rowles, are you kidding me? That’s more money than your lover Kevin Smith has made with any of his movies.

Posted by: Pookie at March 16, 2009 9:23 AM

I finally saw Watchmen over the weekend. I thought it was great. There are few things that didn't work, but, overall, it was fantastic. I couldn't imagine a film adaptation of that graphic novel being any better. It was amazing what they pulled off.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at March 16, 2009 9:29 AM

Fucking Disney...Those bastards tricked me! They make a dorky kids movie, then they swap in Dwayne Johnson and his big, flashy grin at the last minute to make me watch it! DAMN YOU, MICKEY!

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at March 16, 2009 9:48 AM

Just think how much better it would’ve done at the box office if it were Tyler Perry’s Taken.

YOU SHUT YER PIE-HOLE, ROLES!!!

Ahem. Sorry, meds haven't kicked in yet. Kinda hoped Watchmen could have cleared $25 million for the second weekend. That would have been an indicator of better staying power. Too hard to overcome that near-three-hour running time, R rating, and blue wang-a-dang-dang (can't believe the number of people still mortified by it. It will have its own VH-1 special in a few years).

Posted by: malikvlc at March 16, 2009 9:49 AM

Posted by: Jay at March 16, 2009 9:22 AM

Jay, who needs one when all you have to do is turn on Cinemax past 11?

Posted by: Mike R. at March 16, 2009 9:54 AM

It will have its own VH-1 special in a few years

What would they call it though? "I Love Dr. Manhattan's Big Wang"?! Don't people already have enough doubt about whether Hal Sparks is straight or not?

Posted by: Mike R. at March 16, 2009 9:55 AM

Don't people already have enough doubt about whether Hal Sparks is straight or not?

Wasn't he also on that show trying to do magic? Yeah, I have no doubts.

Posted by: jM at March 16, 2009 10:00 AM

A 67 percent drop since opening weekend all but assures that Watchmen won’t make back its investment in theaters. Just hitting $100 million is an iffy prospect, at this point.

It already has. With the international markets, Watchmen has made 112,637,667 dollars. But I'm still pissed that you were right! A movie with a hard R rating, and intelligent points to get across doing so well at first was surprising. To have it sink like this is disheartening.

I was right, people did go for a third showing of Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

Posted by: George at March 16, 2009 10:13 AM

Never heard of The Rock's movie, but I will be here, refreshing the page till Agent Bedhead's review will be up (lucky woman). Does he take his shirt off? Repeatedly? Mmmmmmm...

Posted by: Irina at March 16, 2009 10:52 AM

Probably not in a Disney kids movie remake, Irina. I'm sorry.

Posted by: Jay at March 16, 2009 10:59 AM

So, my mom and I watched "Last House on the Left" this weekend, and two things surprised me (other than the fact that I was actually quite pleased with this re-make): One was the number of adults who were going to see Witch Mountain, with no children in tow. The other was the number of very young children in the theater for Last House. Seriously, there were at least 20 kids under 10 years old watching that movie! Did adults get these two movies confused?? There were scenes in Last House that I was uncomfortable watching alongside my mom, and I'm 27. I can't imagine what would make someone think this movie was appropriate for kids. I grew up watching horror movies, but when I was young I watched them on t.v. with all the really bad stuff edited out.
Okay, I'm done ranting. I just had to get that off my chest.

Posted by: puregonzo at March 16, 2009 11:04 AM

K, I think the Rock is attractive and charming in the movies, but that won't make me go see this one. I remember the original (yeah, I'm old), and while Disney has the right to dredge their vast archives for movies to rehash, that doesn't mean I'm dumb enough to reward them for it.

I actually saw "Taken" this weekend, and it was pretty good. It had a few too many ridiculous coincidences to be plausible, but Liam Neeson is so damn good at being both sweetly paternal and show-no-mercy violent, that alone made the movie. Ex-shadowy government operative Liam vs. every father's worst nightmare is why it's made so much money.

I can believe that people took their kids to see a movie like "Last House on the Left." I was in the theater when two women brought 5 kids (none of whom could have been much over 7) to see "Judge Dredd." In addition to being a truly shitty movie (to this day, I regret paying to see it), it was really, really violent. People are fucking stupid. They'll let their kids watch crap like that and then blame the terrible influence of Hollywood and peers for bad behavior.


Posted by: Slash at March 16, 2009 11:18 AM

It’s hard to hate on The Rock

Speak for yourself, dude.

Posted by: meaux at March 16, 2009 11:43 AM

Aw meaux, you're just upset because you had to sit through his shittiest movie. Give him another chance, maybe he'll cook something.

Posted by: admin at March 16, 2009 12:07 PM

I finally saw the Watchmen this weekend too - my husband came with me, making it his second viewing. I agree with a lot of the criticisms of the changed ending taking some of the sting away, and of Malin Ackerman's incompetent acting. But overall, I was still impressed with what a good job was done to keep as much as they could of the massive amount of content in the book. And I will definitely be getting the DVD to see how the WHOLE thing stacks up.

And I barely noticed the glowing blue wang. My immediate thoughts were "That's it? That's what all the fuss is about?" and I promptly ignored it for the rest of the film. But I have to say, damn, Billy Crudup does detached very well. That thin voice was perfect, I'm so glad they didn't go with someone with a deeper, more dramatic voice.

Posted by: Anne (in Reno) at March 16, 2009 12:14 PM

Perhaps, admin. Perhaps. I'm sure I'll be seeing more of him, given Mr. meaux's taste in films.

Posted by: meaux at March 16, 2009 1:00 PM

They make a dorky kids movie, then they swap in Dwayne Johnson and his big, flashy grin at the last minute to make me watch it! DAMN YOU, MICKEY!

I know. I hate that I kind of want to see this. But we must know if he takes his shirt off first. No deal if he doesn't.

Aw, meaux, you break my heart...

Posted by: figgy at March 16, 2009 1:41 PM

I can't imagine what would make someone think this movie [Last House] was appropriate for kids.
I remember when we saw Roger Rabbit when I was 11 and my siblings were 9 and 7. I was really scared (in a bad way, I am not a fan of horror) by the poor toons melted/murdered in acid. My mum was really mad that a friend of hers had recommended the film as a suitable for kids.
Ah the days before the internet when you'd have to get a newspaper and hope you and the reviewer were on the same wavelength in order to find out about a film. And back then they were limited for space so you'd only get one paragraph per film.
I guess this proves that no matter what improvements humanity makes, there will always be people who mess things up.

Posted by: ChrisD at March 16, 2009 3:29 PM

It already has. With the international markets, Watchmen has made 112,637,667 dollars. If thats the worldwide gross the movie is slightly under halfway to making back is budget. Most everything I've read says the studio gets about half of the box office.

Posted by: EricD at March 16, 2009 5:33 PM