Pajiba

the stain who steps off the escalator and immediately comes to a complete halt

I am glad I am not the only one driven to red-tinged madness by the exploits of those who have apparantly never seen a $*%&@!&$ escalator in their lives.

Hilarious. In my local mega-cineplex(??), the ticket rippers usually are too bored to rummage to anyone's bags. I've seen beer and hard liquor consumed; however, I wish some of them would not get too inebriated. They stumble out of the theater knocking people left and right when the credits roll up. I'm all for spiking drinks, but getting smashed just ruins anyone's movie experience.

I only go to the movies on weeknights, or better yet, Sunday nights. Any other night is basically completely unbearable. And I also refuse to see a movie in the first 3-4 weeks of it's release. Basically, I want the theater to be as close to empty as possible. Otherwise, I'm watching the fucker on DVD.

Although, Juno was the exception to our usually hard and fast rule. We saw that in the first week of it's release, and on a Saturday. It was worth the stress.

I've started yelling, "NO STOPPING" at those morons who just lose the ability to function at the top of escalators. I'm always amused when they look at me as if I'm the one who has done something wrong - you're the one standing still at the top of a moving set of stairs, dimwit.

Oh - and booze = good!

wsapnin, here's #48:

Watching "The Fugitive" in a packed suburban movie theater after 4 doses of LSD = worst decision ever.

A few years ago my roommates and I somehow ended up with a surplus of Natural Light (7 cases - don't ask). In an effort to rid ourselves of this beer, every activity became a forced drinking game. When that wasn't enough, we started travelling with beer, and Movie Nights began.

Our local theater was located in a low-rent food court, which tended to attract lots of junior high school tour groups, and generally, the type of clientele that liked to yell things out at the screen. If you can't beat them - join them. So we would load up my tote bag with cans of cheap beer, pick the most offensive thing playing, and get drunk and yell at the screen. It's an excellent way to pass the time during a movie starring The Rock!

Coke and peppermint schnappes? Seriously? That is just vile sounding.

Life lesson #48, subsection 2:

Ditto for acid and "The Twilight Zone" movie. Especially when the trusted "friend" who is acting as designated driver/babysitter reaches his hands in back of your heads (he sat between two of us) and covers your faces at the scariest moment.

J - do you live near a drive-in? I haven't seen one in probably 10 years!

Does anyone know of any drive-ins left in the DC area?

you know, I just googled drive-ins in DC and I think you might be out of luck. Looks like the closest one is north of Baltimore. There are a ton in the Midwest and VT though, and I spend a lot of time in both those places. Drive-ins rule. But not for good movies - you have to check out the listing and then go to the see movie you have the LEAST interest in. I highly recommend Spider-man 3 - it's the only setting in which the viewing is slightly palatable.

Can I just say that the concept of "pocket shots" makes me weep a little? I mean, it's really such a beautiful concept, and I wish it could be found around here. Seriously. I'm actually a little aroused.

Worst thing ever...

A friend, myself, and a twelve pack of Red Stripe went to see "Training Day" in a relatively small theater (i.e. no stadium seating, concrete floors, about fifty people in attendance).

Near the end of both the movie and the twelve beers, right when the climactic shit was going down, I shifted my half-asleep ass and in doing so, knocked over the backpack containing the emptys. It was a good twenty seconds before the last bottle came to rest at the foot of the theater.

Let me tell ya, a slightly inclined concrete floor plus ten empty glass bottles equals a shitload of dirty looks after the lights came up.

Now all I want to do is sit around drinking rum and make out with Alison Janney...was that the purpose of this review?

I've had very very few experiences drinking in the theater...I believe the first and only time was when a friend of mine was a manager at a local Regal Cinema, and let a group of us in for free. We had water bottles filled with wine, thank god, because the featured film was 50 First Dates.

We collect the dinky minature spirits bottles you can buy as part of gift sets or get on planes and reuse them, if you're serious about covert alcohol consumption it's cheaper in the longrun.

Because I am OCD about things being all matchy matchy we have rather a large collection as each one must be refilled with the correct spirit.

Our local multiplex doesn't mutch care what you bring in as long as you're not pissing anyone else off - this resulted in my flatmate and I watching Enchanted with a bottle of red wine. Now that was cinematic magic.

I do miss my old local indie picture house though - they had a bar and hence you could watch movies with a decent glass of wine or a pint of beer. Bliss. Not entirely sure it was legal but it was a damned fine way to spend an evening.

I am interested in this phenomenon of mixing liquor and movie theatres. I have never done it myself, but had heard of it. I will have to try it henceforth...especially when going to watch movies with friends I know are going to be traumatizing to watch (yes, I watched Awake....it was horrible and mind-blowingly stupid...but she really wanted to see it....)

That being said, Skittimus, I don't think there's enough vodka to be able to sit through that movie.

How do you not walk right behind people when you're exiting the theater? Everyone is filing out at the same time.

correction...Mansfield, CT

Stephie...there is alos Bengies Drive-In in Baltimore. Went there once as a kid. Had no idea it was still opened til just now when I googled it.

I live in South Florida and we have a huge drive-in movie nearby in Sunrise (Fort Lauderdale). It has probably 11 screens, showing all the first run movies you could want. We used to show up with pizzas and lawn chairs and turn our boom boxes to the proper station (they broadcast the sound on FM radio). Once we threw a birthday party there with cake and candles, the whole ball of wax. I just wish I would have brought some booze - it would have made the experience much more enjoyable for some of the really crappy movies I saw there.

Julie, there's one in Lancaster. Beyond that, it's about a 90 minute drive for you to the next nearest one. I think there's one in Vineland, NJ as well though.

Since we're sort of discussing concession stands and sneaking stuff past them, I just have to vent. A good friend (who sometimes frequents these virtual pages) has an autistic son with serious dietary issues. They asked the local cinema if they could get an exemption for him to bring in popcorn he could eat (large bags of contraband popcorn being difficult to stick in a coat pocket) and the answer was a big fat NO, and now because they know, they watch him. Is that not the shittiest, assholiest response ever?

Paddy - Yes. The shittiest and assholiest.

I can't stand "rule lovers" - you know, the people who don't think about the policy behind the rule (here, something along the lines of "we don't let people bring in food because we want them to buy concession stand food") but instead strictly and blindly adhere to the rule itself, even in contexts in which the underlying policy isn't furthered (here, not furthered because this kid wasn't buying movie theatre popcorn anyway).

Dumb post. Better luck next time, Theodore.

*Ring, Ring*

"Hello?"

"Hi, ot?"

"Yes"

"This is Kettle. YOU'RE BLACK!"

Stephie:

Every summer in D.C. they do a thing called "Screen on the Green: free outdoor movies at the national mall" where you bring a blanket, sit on the mall, and watch movies on a giant movie screen. Last year they showed Casablanca, Annie Hall, and a couple others. it's not quite a drive-thru, but it's close.

As a theater usher in high school, I found booze bottles in the auditoriums for the following films:

Rugrats in Paris
Swordfish
The Gift
Heartbreakers

I understand the last three (the chests of Halle Berry, Katie Holmes, and Jennifer Love Hewitt abounded - coincidence?), but Rugrats? Really?

Whew, I'm just glad there are still a few people in this world who believe in the transformative powers of hard drugs.

There was, however, the time I was denied access to the theater because of the full-bottle liquor bandolier and assless chaps....

Seriously, some people need to pull the stick outta their asses. Granted, the movie was "The Last Mimzy" and I reeked of old sweat and Axe Body Spray, but lighten up already!

"Rum and coke is often one of the first drinks high school kids try, at least when they come to my house."
Oh ho ho ho. I laughed a great deal inwardly at this piece. Very clever, very venemous. Very true. I'm not a big drinker, but I should probably look these things up.

PISSBOY: I'm here and you need to e-mail me from my blog. Rebeccah sent me the funkiest whiskeybabyninjastar graphic every. (Sorry for yelling but I am HTML tag retarded.)

Man it's raining buckets here today.

For many summers I worked at a movie theater, and occasionally, if we were slammed, my managers would pull me out of the box office to help clean the theaters. Interesting stuff was often found lying amongst the napkins and popcorn spillage. I remember "The Crow" having a high ratio of empty Jim Beam bottles. Once I picked up what I thought was an empty McDonald's cup, only to discover it was full of chewing tobacco spit after the bottom of the cup fell apart and dumped the contents all over my shoe.

Most incongruous empty alcohol containers I ever came across was an empty case of Bud Light in "Goldeneye". It just seemed weird to me that James Bond fans would drink Bud Light.

And one should never EVER mix illicit substances and "Erasurehead". I'm sure that goes without saying, but apparently I didn't know no better.

'Bama?

Um... did you mean "Eraserhead"?

Although, "Erasurehead is pretty fucking funny. The David Lynchian take on 80's brit-pop music!

Oh, I'm totally getting that movie made.

Okay, look. I have bandaids all over my hands because my fucking skin keeps spitting with all the dry, cold weather and because my mother-in-law's pet squirrel bit me on Sunday.

Hence, my typing has become erratic to say the least.

And I am jacked up on allergy medication.

Tired of getting bitten by pesky pet squirrels? Have you tried Ronco's Squirrel-apult? and . . .

Chee-up, ah'm all jacked uhp on Mountain Doo-ew! tb

Shadows of Dakaron- Very true. Hell, I couldn't even figure out Night Watch.

Aw, 'Bama, I meant no harm. I just thought it was funny is all.

Wait.

Did you just?

[goes back to re-read]

my mother-in-law's pet squirrel bit me on Sunday.

Best. Sentence. Ever.

"my mother-in-law's pet squirrel bit me on Sunday."

That sounds like it could be the premise for some freaky-ass zombie-squirrel movie...

Or a kick-ass band...

Or, maybe the reason Paul Rudd could give for appearing in that shitty, shitty movie...

Why you people would ruin perfectly good coke with rum is beyond me! What? You pour rum on the rails before you snor.....ooooooooh, I got it, COKE, never mind.

...mmm yeah, I guess, I'll, get back to you...

May I suggest another option?
Whisky, straight, along with the cinematic masterpiece that is known as Clash of the Titans.
You might never be the same again.

Thanks a hell of a lot Jerce - I clicked over to the squirrel thing and my son kept me there for a bloody 45 minutes perusing (and explaining) such gems as 'searching for Osama' and 'put prayer back into schools' featuring a costumed squirrel. He made me bookmark it.

Oh well, I should know better than to surf in front of the kids. (Too bad we're not allowed to be drunk during other events that fascinate kids.)

Sorry, Rebeccah--nooooo responsibility.

My favorite is the tsunami pic. Heh.

Also--demondoll: Heeee. In my day the term "designated driver" did not exist; but I was a "guide" a couple times. It was always a drag. You were the one who had to do the talking to any straight people you encountered--mall cops, your history teacher, a friend's mom--while the rest of the gang cowered and freaked and exhibited the most suspicious behavior possible.

Although I haven't had a drink in over 11 years, the perennial misanthrope in me is now officially in love.

Who the fuck decided that dressing up a squirrel would be fun?

Mind you it's probably less harmful to a child's psyche than those fucking bratz dolls...

Seeing as I have a rather large hand bag, the idea of smuggling booze into the theatre is intriguing and I can't work out why I never thought to try it before...next time someone wants to drag me to a shitfest I think that rather than refuse I might just get some of those airline bottles and make an evening of it - tragically, Australia has yet to discover Pocket Shots, although I doubt it will take long

I have a friend who's very much a rock dude (in the band t-shirts, longish hair sense). He has this wiiiide-legged trousers that he wears when we go to the cinema. They have massive pockets down the backs of his legs, and the material on the top of the pocket is slightly tougher than the material of the main trouser. The result is that we can sneak in ultra-large bags of pop-corn, 10 inch pizzas in boxes, bottles, and basically anything else we want - and no one can see a thing till we start unloading.
That boy's trousers, I swear, are like Mary Poppins' bag.

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I'm testing in secret.

There's a great independent theater here in Seattle called Big Picture. Its a bit pricey, but worth it since it will actually serve you at your seat. Also, it's a very small theater, so it's easier for the staff to control any rowdies that show up. Lastly, they often show movies that have just left the big multiplexes, so if I've missed anything, it's a great place to catch them.