Pajiba

Spot on! that sleazy Cody stripper, cheap, and low class all the way. Is this what our culture has come to? Being told what's cool by what basically amounts to nothing more than an ex- hooker.
Jesus fucking Christ.

Geez, you say that like it's a bad thing. I kind of like El Diablo, though her column in "Entertainment Weekly" is abominable shite. Slim, I would have thought one thing we shared was a soft spot for strippers. tb

I thought it was Ha-Vee-air.

Two comments:

1. The Oscars are a less glamorous version of the Westminster Kennel Club competition. And they don't check the genitalia.

2. If there is a way to guarantee that the girl I marry will turn into Helen Mirren 40 years from now, I'd marry her on the spot.

I'll definitely need to check out Hendricks, it sounds delightful. My "viewing partner" and myself enjoyed some cheap Scotch, Jameson, and Fu-Ki Saki.

And I made the same joke about Forest, except for the whole penis/eye thing. Not enough saki had been consumed at that point.

Sigh...I wish MY husband appreciated fine bitchy award show banter....instead, he went to bed with a book while I went to town in Pajibaland.

I know, poor Javier's name got mangled quite a few times that night! Geez, you'd think Jennifer Hudson would have practised, given that it was pretty much a sure think.

er, that's "sure thing"

Kind of weird to see Nicole Kidman with lips after that 'Memories' pic a few days ago. How did those manage to happen without any sort of cosmological aids, I wonder?

Doesn't Renee Zelwegger have people?

I love the idea of having 'people' to remind you how to be. You think it's some kind of bodyguard, just off her right shoulder. But every few minutes, the quiet unobtrusive hiss.

"Renee! Face! Face!"

(I don't actually care about her one way or another. All my loathing goes right toward Jessica Alba. I want federal legislation that guarantees two movies for Rosario Dawson for every Alba debacle. Parity, dammit, for the sake of the world.)

twig...I'll drink to that. More Rosario!

As will I; speaking of which, was anyone else skeeved by the way Rosario Dawson's character was called upon to dance around in a booby-bouncing manner in Clerks II? I like Kevin Smith okay, but it was like, "Okay, Rosario, here's a tight shirt, now dance! No, you really need to make 'em flop around!" Not cool. tb

"....I feel like a lot of women between their mid-30s and mid-50s get shit on. By the time women are in their late-50s, it seems they get a pass if they dress age-appropriately (Helen Mirren) or somehow defy gravity and mother nature (Sofia Loren)..."

Or maybe, JUST MAAAAYBE, Sofia and Helen have more talent and personality than Kidman, hell, my Kenmore refrigerator has more talent, in its door mounted water/ice dispenser, than Kidman.

It truly is embarrassing the way Americans butcher anyone's name that is the slightest bit non-American.

I was once at a local clean water event where the speaker was Jean-Michel Cousteau. The dumbass introducing him referred to him as "Gene Micheal". I was mortified. Throughout his presentation Jean-Michel said his own name properly several times (as in "My father would say to me 'Jean-Michel, blah, blah, blah'") and at the end the dumbass still said "Lets thank Gene-Micheal.."

Oh I weep for my people.

Unless by hot, you meant engaging and talented.

I'm on record 'round here as being agitated about the unfair treatment you mention -- the disparity in the treatment of aging male actors and aging female actors is shameful. That said, that's the environment these folks work in, and there are some who handle it with grace and aplomb (Michelle Pfeifer comes to mind) and some who insist they're not aging at all, no Mr. Producer, not one little bit. And some who refuse to play the game, e.g., Tilda Swinton. It is unfair, but some of these folks just look ridiculous at a certain point. tb

In point of fact, it is pronounced "Va-jay-jay." tb

I see a lot of weird names in my line of work, and one was a girl whos parents were from Brazil. When the girl was born in the USA, the nurses put "Female" in as the first name on the birth certificate, as the parents hadn't named the baby yet. The parents then assumed that the hospital had named their daughter "Fem-ma-lay" and never changed it.

Tilda Swinton is a bird. A strange bird.

How the fuck come Gary Busey gets invited to the Oscars?

Rene Zellweegee needs to have somebody inject muscle relaxant into her face prior to stepping out of the house. Either that or lay of the fistfuls of Sour Patch Kids while driving to events.

Helen Mirren... Man alive. Talk about aging gracefully. Nicole Kidman needs a talking to.

Diaz? Yeah, she's orange. I'd still wrassle nekkid with her though. Her legs are dyn-o-mite...

Now normally I am I Tanguary Ten girl, but I will have to try this Hendricks....sounds like it might be a nice change every once and a while

and I have noticed the disparity between aging men and aging women in everything, not only show business. Give any single man the choice between a 40 yr old who looks like a 40 year old and a 40 yr olf who looks like a clownish impression of a 25 yr old, and most the them will go for the clown

its sad, but true

Speaking as a hispanic, I have to say that making a stink over Americans (or anyone really, who doesn't speak the native language) mispronouncing your name is so old hat. It's second nature to either ignore it or subtly and mildly correct it. It's just not worth making a fuss given how frequently it happens...you just learn to let it go.

But it's all the same...everyone faces those kinds of troubles when faced with someone not of their culture. Ignorance is a suitable excuse, as long as you try to disabuse yourself of that ignorance and learn the proper way to address something. Kinda like the opposite of that speaker, wsapnin

I find Bombay too sweet...I drink Tanguary Ten
I thought I was completely alone on that until I was camparing gin preferences with my boyfriend's 85 year old grandmother (that woman could outfrink a frat boy) and she siad she found it too sweet too....

made me feel better

I really don't care how Javier is supposed to be pronounced, since I plan on simply calling him 'oh, baby - harder!'...

"gowns pulled so tight at the top, it looked like two blowfish caught in a lariat."
Amen - and, hee!!
Yeah, not a good look for women with actual breasteses. This is why I never wore boob tubes when they were 'in'. Well, this, and good taste... ;-)

I missed all of the Oscars, dammit. Even the 'highlights' which is all my cheap, non-movie-channel satellite subscription entitles me to. I set my vcr for it & tuned in the Sky box - which decided to switch itself off during the evening! I recorded 90 minutes of blankness. Doesn't sound like I missed anything great, though.

Hendricks sounds tasty. I wonder if it's export only, or if I can get it here?

You know, to be fair, some Americans can't even spell or pronounce bland American names. For example: My mother's maiden name just makes people get this "WTF is that?" face, but my father is from North Dakota, so I ended up with a very white bread surname.

People still mess it up all the time.

It was really annoying how so many people mispronounced my hot Spanish "oh yes you will be mine in imaginary land" husband's name.

TB, one of my good friends introduced me to Hendricks at a local Spanish tapas restaurant this summer...all of the drinks were named after Almodovar movies, and my favorite (The Volver) was Hendricks, cucumber, and a dash of rosewater. I would have had my way with it, if it were physically possible.

"I really don't care how Javier is supposed to be pronounced, since I plan on simply calling him 'oh, baby - harder!'..."

This may have been the most erotically funny sentence I've read in a long time. I am so using this as a line if a hot girl can't pronounce my name. Sleazy pickup lines sound better coming from a dark hispanic with brooding eyes, right?

Sleazy pickup lines sound better coming from a dark hispanic with brooding eyes, right?

Always, Porny Pony. Always.

Sarina...I am...ashamed.

Since we're discussing unfamiliar names, just what the hell is a Shadow of Dakaron, anyway? Well, I know what a shadow is, but what's a Dakaron?

Hell, my last name's Hungarian and they made up their own pronunciation rules. I was gutted at my sister's wedding when I suddenly realized I was the only one who'd have to keep explaining it. Plus now I'm the end of the family line. Oooooh the pressurrrrre.

One day at 25 while playing Beat Happening's "I Spy" it FINALLY dawned on me that it's the last syllable of "espionage". Took me long enough.

Oh and Tanqueray, dry and dirty.

..."but what's a Dakaron?"
-------------------------------------------
Posted by: Sarina at February 29, 2008 12:24 PM

Errr....ummm.....it's...complicated?

Sigh....well, if you must know (I must, I must) - it's fantasy based. Our friend ScarletKnight is not the only gamer on these boards...it's a fantasy reference. And that's all I'm saying about it!

Julie, thank you, excellent. That's exactly what I'm looking for.

bweaves, that story is so cute! Would hate to have been poor young Female in school, but I bet it's given her a hell of a sense of humour!

melissa and Bethy: I like Boodles for martinis and Vespers; good, straight-ahead gin flavor, extraordinarily cool bottle with the Union Jack on it, plus it's fun to say with Sean Connery flair: "Boooodlesh mardhtini, darling, and don't skimp on the pooshie galorrrdhe."

tarn: I've been able to find Hendrick's just about everywhere on the West Coast -- SF, LA, and Seattle are "everywhere" in my little world -- as well as NYC and D.C.; the Plaza Athenee bar stocks it in Paris, and I even found some in Florence one time, so I think it's widely available in Europe.

And if all of that doesn't make me sound like an asshat, then I don't know how I can help you further.

Ha! Well, I type in a Spongebob Squarepants costume, so there's no judgement here.

Damn, and me without my Ravenclaw tie to brandish at you!

(yes that *is* what I'm wearing on my little blog picture. Hey, they're versatile colors!)

was anyone else skeeved by the way Rosario Dawson's character was called upon to dance around in a booby-bouncing manner in Clerks II

NO.

Now, ugly, untalented people such as Sarah Jessica Parker, Cameron Diaz, Jamie Foxx, Lucy fucking Liu (sp), Sphincter Zellweger and this bitch, just won't go away. They become brands and I gotta see them all up in my grille in shit they have no business being in.

Okay, come on now? Lucy Liu? Really? Hey, I will admit I am biased and do think she is attractive. And I do agree about the the other names and their overexposure (especially Foxx), but in what world is she anywhere near them? Seriously, where is she invading your senses so much? Becasue I would happily trade palces with you.

Jeez, sometimes your curmugeony self-righteousness stops being entertaining and ends up just mean.

This is exactly why I won't cuddle afterwards.

My main Oscar complaint was the lack of Christian Bale. Goddammit, 3:10 to Yuma was nominated for Sound Mixing! Where the hell was he?

Dammit, now I am all sympathetic and shit. I can't be bitchy for at least two weeks now. Do you know how frustrating it is being the motherfucking nice guy around here? Fuck.

Are you happy now? Well, are you?

Mrs. Socalled tasted like champagne, so that part was well-received.

HA! Anyone else catch this line?

...the Fug Girls (their Sara Larson post KILLED me)...

Her name has the H, so it's Sarah. Know how I know that? Cuz it's my name, too. Can I hijack this thread for a second and vent about how much it effing annoys me that George Clooney's stupid scorpion-eating girlfriend has my name? What a pain in the ass it is to have the same name as some bug chomping Clooney hanger-on.

A little over a year ago, I met this crazy guy named Alejandro. The day he met me, he announced that he already knew a Sarah, so I couldn't have that name and he would call me Sarina instead. It sort of stuck, because it's just different enough that people don't look at me funny and go, "Are you the same...?" Which, incidentally, is another example of how stupid people can be. I don't even look like her. I'm shorter, paler, and my hair is a coppery red colour.

I naturally assumed that everyone here looks somewhat like their *nic* suggests, Shadows of Dakaron, yup cowl and a sword: Julie cheerleader outfit and ponytail: Darth Corleone, well like a Sith Lord; Sarina, cheerleader outfit and ponytail; Vermillion ....like a...mmm.. Vermillion, maybe flip-flops; Stacey, cheerleader outfit and ponytail; BarbadoSlim, shorts, calypso perpetually playing in background; twig, cheerleader outfit and ponytail, Socalled, pajamas lots of cousins in the room: Kolby; cheerleader outfit and ponytail and so on...

Weirdly, BSlim, those all seem pretty reasonable. Although I do picture you with dreadlocks, for some reason.

Ha! B-Slim, you're right about the ponytail, but if I'm not in my Spongebob outfit I'm wearing my Catholic school uniform from high school. But with fishnets. Because that's how I roll.

I usually have really good pronunciation instincts, but the one word I can't seem to get a handle on?

That would be Pajiba.

The Pajiba Overlords insist that it's pronounced like "vagina," with the same soft "g." (Hee hee, soft "g," get it? G-spot? Vagina? Never mind.) But I will never give in. It's puh-JEE-buh! tb

In my head, it's "pie-yee-buh".

I retained approximately 0.01 percent of either - I'm simply total shit at learning languages.

Me too! I took 4 years of Spanish in high school and only 1 year in college because it was screwing my GPA. I can get the gist of a conversation in Spanish, but I can't speak it to save my life. Sometimes I'll even put on the Spanish subtitles of a movie, just to try and refresh my vocab.

If I ever have kids I'd want them to learn a language early on...I need to procreate with someone bilingual. Accents are hot.

Callll meeee, Javier.

Meh, I like to stay loose.

And Julie, I have studied, not counting English, FOUR languages (French, Spanish, Afrikaans, Latin). I can neither speak, read nor write ANY of them. So I feel your pain.

I speak French, and I kinda sorta speak Spanish (I only took it for two years, from age 12 to 13) and I understand enough Italian, German and Irish to get by so long as people don't talk too fast.

My mother, however, speaks eight languages so I still feel like a retard by comparison.

If Kolby can't say it can I?

TK, I have always thought of a guy dressed head to toe in red sox, Celtics, or Pats gear, depending upon the time of year.

Tilda Swinton is teh rock saur in my book for refusing to submit to the Hollywood fashion police. I thought every other actress wore a variation on the same boring dress, then Swinton showed up in her crushed velvet caftan and gorgeous diamond cuff, no makeup and flame red hair. Yeah, bitches, she's the Angel Gabriel AND the Ice Queen. And she will eat you alive.

As far as butchering pronunciations, my son's name is Scottish and gets severely mangled everywhere. (Just think if he'd been a girl, he might have been named Ariadne. I can't imagine how the nurse in the pediatrician's office would have butchered that one.) My maiden name is a common Irish surname, and you won't believe how many times my parents had telemarketers call and completely mispronounce it. Ignorance knows no bounds.

Maravilloso!

:molests Shadows for his internet babies:

Julie - it happens to the best of us. I laugh and cry every time I read that website. So condemning!!

I'm always really proud when something doesn't apply to me.

Ohhh...socalled, Hope and Glory is one of my favorite movies of all time! Get one of the Pajiba staff to review it, would you?

what do you picture me as looking like.

And NOT A WORD from you, Kolby!

Posted by: TK at February 29, 2008 1:33 PM

------------------------------------------------

Well, it was either the sports thing or, judging from recent posts, like that military surplus guy from the Simpsons!

Oh and let me just submit that as far as our esteemed Pajaican writers go I think that Ranylt is probably in a cheerleader outfit and ponytail too....

B Slim - no way, dude. Ranylt is the sexy librarian type. DUH.

I see Stacey being in professional business attire...like a hot secretary.

Hee, I always wanted a cool first name, probably because mine is so typical.

Ranylt is totally the sexy librarian.

And a large shed in the backyard housing a plethora of death-dealing legal modified gas-powered power tools

Naw, he's not crazy enough...Jake Busey, maybe.

My guess is that he's actually Gary Busey.

:dies laughing:

I was thinking more like Flava Flav.

paddy--I named my daughter Maeve. (I know, with the German last name, what was I thinking? I just hope she marries Mr. O'Connell or Flaherty or something Irish.) But the poor thing gets called 'Mauve' all the time. It wasn't so bad when she went to a little neighborhood Catholic school. But down here in the South she will forever be Mauve.

Paddy - Wrong or right, I picture you as an early-90s Susan Sarandon.

Socalled - See, you don't want to erase Paddy from your list.

I have actually seen a photo of Paddy on the interwebs, and I can authoritatively say that she is a radiant, pride-of-Eire type. Also, if you somehow contract ebola, you want her in your corner. tb

"...The last time I thought she was at least interesting in appearance was when she was in The Mask...."

That's actually the only time I've ever found her to be "sexy". She's attractive, in a "girl you wouldn't mind hanging out with" kind of way...but not the sex bomb they're trying to make her out to be.

Oh, and tt_marie, I can't help but picture you as someone with a very large bosom. I can't help it--the "tt" in your name just led me to that visualization. I pronounce it in my head as "titty marie".

Thank goodness I'm not the only one.

Well I don't want to make you beg, tb. (Not much, anyway.) That was a pretty good year, and some of the Academy choices were baffling. No screenplay nomination for The Princess Bride certainly stands out. Even the lesser lines from that ("If only we had a wheelbarrow, that would be something!") are fantastic. I guess I just like The Last Emperor enough that, even if its selection was largely due to being a sweeping historical romance, it doesn't bother me that much. (Shakespeare in Love, on the other hand... *shudder*.)

As for the booze terminology... "chin?" Like, on my face?

AtO's drinking game uses "chin" as a measure; it means you have to finish your drink if some event occurs. For example, after Sexual A-Busey (see what I did there?) mauled Jennifer Garner, I downed the rest of my drink from glee. tb

All the talk about pronunciations is making me think of that Saturday Night Live sketch with Jimmy Smits about twenty years ago, where he's the new guy in some news organization and all his coworkers, when discussing Latin America, over-pronounce everything to the point of absurdity. Unfortunately there's no way I can convey in print how funny it was to hear Victoria Jackson say "Costa Rica". Can someone else back me up here?

Nice pull, and I remember it like it was yesterday. Smits, who showed a nice flair for comic timing, kept getting more and more frustrated at the PC over-pronunciation. At one point, I think they sent out for some "burrrrrreeetohsss" for lunch. tb

Heee...you have forever ruined tt_marie's name for me, now it will ALWAYS be "titty" and she will ALWAYS be voluptuous.

People *always* mispronounce my name and it used to drive me nuts but now I just say it is like Anna but with a Z in front of it. Ironically, I also used to mispronounce fairly common words because I learned to read before I knew anything about phonics.

"I do however, have a strikingly handsome, partially-developed conjoined twin growing outta my right side. I call him Skittimus Minimus and he steers me home when I'm too drunk to drive."

This made me almost cry I laughed so hard. I kid you not. I'm still cackling.

I am, however, sitting at work in a cheerleading uniform. Good call, B Slim, it's like you know everything about...me...WAIT!...was that you I just saw running away from my window?!?

Also, there was a girl in college that we always called Big Boobs McGee or sometimes just Boobs McGee. This makes me think of her.

TK, it is just too easy to mess with a Boston fan. At least I did not refer to you as a certain reality tv "person".

Julie, what is so wrong with a Yankees hat?

Cool first name just means you get to spend a lifetime correcting the village idiots around you.

Wow. You people apparently think I'm completely psychotic. Allow me to straighten some things out:

I am tall, dark-skinned, freckled and average.

I dress like a normal person, superhero underwear notwithstanding.

I am literally terrified of guns and would never own one. Nor would I ever wear camouflage. Hell, I'm wearing a sweater vest right now, for God's sake.

I'm quite mild mannered.

But I will murder you all in your sleep if you keep it up.

I'm still trying to figure out which common verb Julie is. Never have I felt more filthy for having an English degree.
-------------------------------------------------
Posted by: insertclevernamehere at February 29, 2008 3:00 PM

Amen. But it's so much fun....

When I try and envision the various commenters here for some reason I always think in terms of literary characters.

TK: You are Charlie Nancy from Anansi Boys. That's just who you are to me.

And speaking of pyrotechnics....what would PissBoy look like?

I actually know what PissBoy looks like, and speaking of the Dark Crystal...you know the Skeksis?

http://www.bookmice.net/darkchilde/dark/skeksis2.jpg

Pretty accurate.

Shadows, I know, but that is how I see both PB and B-Slim.

I had to run home for lunch, so I missed most of this conversation.

Anyway, I am not, and never have been, a cheerleader, Slim, though you're not the first person to label me as such (I think it's because I'm rather short and sometimes perky.

Oh, and I know TK's just playing, I totally saw him on The Gauntlet last night, and he was rocking the aviator sunglasses and sideways hat.

:::runs out of thread, ducking:::

Julie:(v) to eviscerate or slice an opponent with a non-obvious implement. i.e, You see that dude totally julie that motherfucker with a can opener? Shit, I best pay what I owe.

So your name is essentially a sentence. But what sentence?

And if we're literary characters, I totally call Mr. Quilp from Dickens' The Old Curiousity Shop. Unless someone else is a malicious ill-tempered dwarf with a penchant for buggery and homicide?

All I can say is thank the gods I don't post using my first name. I don't need to re-live years of childhood torture on the internet.

Now YOU shut it, TK!

And I always picture socalled as a sort of Kurt Russell lookalike. Maybe it's because I can totally picture Kurt watching TV with his feet up and a stiff drink in one hand.

Kolbs, you are nothing if not predictable.

And you are dangerously close to making me spill the beans on that one... Just saying... you want your giggle-inducing secret kept, you watch yourself.

I'm guessing Siobhan? You don't have to confirm or deny that. I only learned how to pronounced it when Nick Cave put it in "O'Malley's Bar". Til then I was pretty hopeless with the fantastic brunette in Bananarama's name.

I LOVED Tilda as Gabriel (extremely partial to that whole British Isles look to begin with), and I have such love for John Constantine that, as opposed to indignant fanboy, I was glad that he had a movie at all and *kinda* looked and acted like himself. Least they didn't stop him smoking.

Boy howdy I'm glad I'm gonna go through a four pack of Boddington's and watch "Spaced" with friends tonight. Not to go into griping, "Unshelved" does that so well that anyone bitching on a blog is redundant. It is all true. I only work one in three Fridays but they're always a Physical Challenge. I did dress better than yesterday though.

But again, the librarian is sexy because the glasses are *on*. Just can't get the world to understand that! And no of course I don't work with anyone like that. There *was* someone, albeit married, and then left after getting a job I wanted. And of course I have a great appreciation for the black slapstick of own life. Life'd be hell if one didn't. Or, you know, MORE so.

Since we're talking images either fantasy or suspected reality, I dream of women wearing j.crew Fall and Winter year round. But then, I dream of it *being* Fall and Winter year round. Cheerleading's just fine and dandy, but opaque herringbone tights win, with big sturdy shoes. Yes, a dream to some......A NIGHTMARE TO OTHERS!!

TK, you think I'm predictable?

Oh, and don't forget I know you're not-very-common first name as well. Humpf!

Heh, Kolby, flattery will get you nothing ... except hours and hours of selfless sexual favors.

I don't know who I actually would be like, but I want to be Lord Arthur Goring from An Ideal Husband, on the condition that it's the Rupert Everett version.

Funny, I don't picture you guys physically, except the few that I have actually seen from photos or the very few I have seen in person (e.g., Dustin) -- when I think of "TK" or "B-Slim," a bundle of concepts run through my mind, along the lines of "Oh, TK will think this is interesting," or "That line will make B-Slim snicker."

There are a few exceptions. Daphne is Daphne from Scooby-Doo, i.e., uber-hot. Julie is this way-cool lipstick lesbian I knew in D.C., whose name was "Julie." So that's how imaginative I am.

Okay, in all honesty people...

What celebrity do you think you actually look like?

I think Julie looks like Jenna Elfman. Don't know why. Again, this is how I operate. Everybody has to look like a celebrity.

Oh, but I do picture 'bama as Jean Smart from "Designing Women," because she looks and talks like my aunt who basically raised my half-sister and me.

Yeah, I can see Julie as Jenna Elfman.

Don't take this the wrong way, socalled...but from the age-related comments thrown out by a certain young British lass...I was starting to imagine you as Walther Matthau.

I can see PissBoy as Gary Busey, easily.

I think Julie looks like Jenna Elfman.

BWA!

I instantly think of Mandy Moore's character from Scrubs. Except less innocent and much less klutzy.

Just as klutzy, just as. I fell down the stairs 3 days ago...I have the grace of an intoxicated vertigo-stricken wildebeest on rollerskates.

I picture Kolby with dark red hair. There is no rhyme or reason to this.

Don't take this the wrong way, socalled...but from the age-related comments thrown out by a certain young British lass...I was starting to imagine you as Walther Matthau.

I just laughed my ass off for a good 5 minutes. Oh man. That's funny.

African/Indian/Malaysian/French/Scottish = that actually sounds like a fairly awesome combination.

TK are you hot? TK is hot, everyone. Spread the word.

Julie - my hair is naturally dark brown, but lately, because I dyed it that way and now it won't go back no matter what I do, it does, indeed, have a reddish hue.

Now stop stalking me!

Re Walter Matthau: That's actually not bad. I don't physically resemble him, but I'm pretty on-board with his cynical sense of humor and his deep-seated suspicion that whatever happens is going to be inconvenient and annoying as hell for him.

Oh, but I do picture 'bama as Jean Smart from "Designing Women," because she looks and talks like my aunt who basically raised my half-sister and me.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 29, 2008 3:34 PM

She was totally my favorite character. Charlene, right? Of course, I loved Bernice, too. I sure miss that show, the earlier seasons and not when they brought in Jan Hooks to muck the place up.

socalled: For some reason I see you as Robert Sean Leonard on House. Only drinkier.

I swear I'm gonna get up and work in a second and not just "man the desk".

I was starting to imagine you as Walther Matthau.

My best friend told me that I look just like Walter in "A Face In The Crowd", though she was worried I'd take it the wrong way. The only way to take it was that it's the truth!

Like a wee little sprite.

Like an wee little sprite who pesters people.

tt_marie: TK are you hot? I... uh... Maybe? Are you gonna ask me what I'm wearing next? This is getting weird.

What is everyone wearing?

Hmm... I may not want the answer to that.

We already know Slim wears questionable underwears.

Oh my gods, JULIE! Are we long-lost sisters? That's why I dye my hair, too!

What is everyone wearing?

Posted by: TK at February 29, 2008 3:54 PM

A cheerleader outfit. Jesus, pay attention. BSlim already went over this. ALL we female-types wear cheerleader outfits.

Well, when we bother to wear anything at all, anyway.

Despite shaving my head bald and sporting a constant four-day facial stubble I've been described (on numerous occasions) as either John Cusack, John Cusack's younger brother, or the above mentioned Gary Busey.

Skittimus Minimus, on the other hand, has been described as a naked half-melted Teddy Ruxpin, a Cabbage Patch Kid who has been through a snowblower, and as a pink flank-steak with facial features and a turkey claw.

But I picture socalled as my father

[/opens 9th-floor window, jumps out]

Julie, I think you just have a thing for accessories. Admit it, it's somewhere in the middle of your long list of fetishes.

I now demand you assign everyone accessories.

Do you think the Pajiba Overlords read these threads and wonder when exactly it was that we all went from mature, intelligent commentors on a movie review site to giggly teenagers who can't wait for school to get out so we can sneak a beer from the fridge and run off to a makeout party?

TK, we know you're wearing a sweater vest. I don't have to ask.

Rebecca Gayheart is hot (bad actress, but hot), Kolby, I don't know how you could take that in a not-good way.

I'm wearing...my usual boring work casual shit. Look at the first outfit you see in the Ann Taylor online catalog, and I'm probably wearing that. Or something almost exactly like it. That store doesn't really mix it up.

To be perfectly honest, I don't wear anything much more exciting out of work either. I'm horrifyingly conservative in dress. I feel like I could possibly be a Pajiba outcast for that reason.

My mother taught me to cling to pearls and heels and not to show too much cleav, which is tough when you have knockers this big. A little leg is okay.

Not right, Sarina....that's bad mental imagery on a boring Friday afternoon at work...

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 29, 2008 4:03 PM

All right, fine. Grey long sleeved t-shirt, jeans, black Doc Marten loafers and my hair in a ponytail. So BSlim was right about the ponytail, at least.

I don't think cheerleaders have tattoos and piercings, though. Of course, accountants aren't supposed to have those, either.

Aaannnndd, it's official: With your heavy-breathing inter-commenter flirting, the lot o' youse has more than doubled the highest number of comments ever posted to a ted boynton joint prior to today (and that's adjusted to account for my own additions). Right at this moment, all of your employers are trying to come up with a way to fire you without getting sued.

Pajiba accessories...hmmm.

Socalled: Cufflinks in the shape of martini glasses.
Shadows: Cape with a fur-trimmed collar.
PissBoy: Hankerchief soaked in Chloroform.
B-Slim: Livestrong bracelet. Or a cock ring.
TK: Studded dog collar.
Insert: A tie covered in Jesus fish.
Skitt: A pet alligator on a leash.
Sarina: Ripped fishnet stockings (destruction caused by some hot guy's teeth).
Kolby: Mardi Gras beads, collected the flashy way.
tt_marie: Pasties. Because...boobage.
Paddydog: Whip and a leprechaun.
Anne: Bright red lipstick and fuck me boots.
Alabamapink: Cowboy hat and garters.

Paddydog: Whip and a leprechaun.

Don't forget the thigh-high, patent-leather, clover-green, stiletto-heeled boots. Not that I've thought it through or anything.

Haha, you're all at work! *wriggles around in bed, glorying in the life of a college student*

I'm not even wearing pants! Because I don't have to! I am utterly devoid of adult responsibilities! Whee!

Wsapnin:

I feel your pain. I used to tease Mr. PaddyDog that we would two children called Gobnait and Iognaid and I would refuse to have little Iognaid circumcized. He quickly came around to my way of thinking on the no-children thing.

And Socalled:

As for that photo of me on the Interwebs it is a hideous misrepresentation whose removal I have requested so often I'm sick of doing so.

black boots, jeans, black sweater vest (shut it) over a button down shirt that, sadly, can only be described as lavender.

That's exactly why you got the dog collar, a sweater vest needs a reminder of what it's like to live.

And Smithy, JUST because I'm at work does NOT mean I'm wearing pants.

No one will ever believe me when I say my boobs really aren't big. Ever. I've turned myself into the interweb equivalent of Big Boobs McGee without even realizing it. I'm going to go sob into my pasties.

And I asked a co-worker (who incidently may want to get into my pants so this is probably flattery) and he said Sloan Peterson from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Maaaybe. Maybe a sort-of-resemblance. But I'm not sold.

And TK is totally hot, everybody (though maybe a little metro). I'm sorry, but just ADMIT IT, dude. It is a cross you must bear. Lavendar is so hott right now.

And Smithy, you little bastard, just wait. The Man will find you one of these days.

My temper is something to be feared. As it is with most Southern wimmins.

Posted by: Alabamapink at February 29, 2008 3:27 PM

Ain't it true? I don't so much blame mine on the Southern born and still here thing, but more on the Irish, German, American Indian heritage.

Smithy, don't worry. There are ways to delay adulthood. Meet grad school. Capable of delaying the real world for anywhere from 4-15 years!

It is a beautiful thing.

Smithy. A man does not live by birthday money alone.

Then it's probably good I'm not a man, tt_marie. (And I meant to tell you: there's a girl on my floor we call "Boobs," so I now picture you with her face. And boobs, obviously.)

TK, it's so great! I am in charge of the alcohol procurement for this weekend and I suddenly have many, many best friends!

Julie, I cannot NOT laugh at your comments

TK, what, pray tell, is a drunk tank

Smithy, sorry girl, I thought you were a dude for a second, only because of the name. I'm sure you look very girl-ish rolling around in bed with no pants. Speaking of which, you may want to take out a restraining order on socalledonlycousins. Just sayin.

And. I'm leaving work to go booze. I have billed an hour today, hooray! Not my fault, not my fault - I can't do work if people aren't giving me any. And quite frankly I don't care so long as they keep paying me!

Sigh...

Socalled, I'll take the bullet on this one:

The drunk tank the holding cell where cops keep unruly drunks overnight.

I'm not proud of either the knowledge, or the time spent there.

That said, I'm off to get absolutely annihilated. It's been a shit week, but y'all have made it worth it. So thanks. Here's to hoping I don't spill whiskey on my lovely lavender shirt.

That's where Otis lives!

Smithy:
Since you are younger than I (by far) and ATO (my internet daughter) is awol, I feel the need to warn you that you are flirting with a man who just yesterday shared with us that he likes to hang out in school-buses wearing only a pecker-cozy knitted by Bweaves. Do with this knowledge what you will. (Not that my shriveled old ovaries are jealous or anything).

Wow, Smithy, your comment may have been prescient. My people were mostly coal miners from the Bluefield area, though my great-aunt and her folk lived near Big Chimney. (My mother's folk were loggers in Mr. Dustin's Rowles' hometown in Arkansas.) My dad was the first person on either side of my family to go to college, and I was the first one from either side to go to grad school.

socalled: Your people are dangerously close to where MY hillybilly people reside. Ever heard of a little hamlet called Grundy, VA. We're smack next to the Virginia/Kentucky border, and to get there we always took a pass through Bluefield.

'bama, I don't recall Grundy, but my father's sister's husband's people are from Burnt Chimney, VA (not to be confused with Big Chimney, which is, of course, in West Virginia).

Paddy, if you succeed in getting that photo removed, I shall weep. When I saw it, I thought, "Ireland!" (private email for you, BTW).

Yup, my father got all "uppity and edjicated" and married a woman about whom the only nice thing his mother ever said was, "Well, at least she's not a Mexican." Ahhhh, family. I think they've been in the eastern part of the state since about 1700, farming rocks and being ignorant bigots.

And PaddyDog, my own schoolbus experiences were so traumatic that a mere Indecent Exposure By Middle-Aged Dude would barely have phased me.

Middle-Aged Dude

!?!?

[You must actuallly be my daughter, given that you are actively trying to put me in the ground today.]

Sadly, my only connection to Arkansas is that I love Johnny Cash.

Paddy...I thought the exact same thing as I walking down the cookbook aisle.

Therefore I'll throw this in for good measure:
http://www.quickstopentertainment.com/2007/12/23/holiday-havoc-the-venture-bros/

Because who doesn't love a gender-switch duet with Dr. Girlfriend and The Monarch? (I also love his "Hard Candy Christmas" with Henchmen 21 and 24)

Regarding Arkansas, I'll again stump for Brad Neely, my favorite Arkansan and creator of that video I linked to yesterday. If all he'd done was make "Wizard People, Dear Reader" that'd be enough. Oh but he keeps going.

I have no good hillbilly connections, my grandma was kind of a north Florida cracker kid but that's it. But I've got krazy Eastern Europeans. My dad decided he was going to be a redneck in his late 20s though. A Hungarian, born in Detroit, raised in Miami. There was always something a little bit off about it. But the man was a honky tonk MACK. Dancing machine also. Sure, I get along with women pretty well, but nothing like that. Don't know why he loved Budweiser and Winstons so much though. Egad.

Now, off to get my Nooorthern ale.

See, I knew Phillip lived in Fayetteville. I still occupy the state, but not the NW corner. That part has only been for visiting over the years. I have friends that live there though.

It just always strikes me as odd how many people have connections to this little state.

tt_marie: someone's probably said this as your original comment is way upthread now, and I'm too lazy to read it all, but my problems with Cameron's appearance are as follows:

1. she needs to wash and style her hair. I'll settle for wash and comb it.

2. she needs to wash her face.

Honestly, she didn't much look like she had bathed at all. As you can see, my very short list is easily done, people do those things every day. I have no idea why she couldn't be bothered for the Academy Awards. She might look nice if she bathed, washed her hair, and ran a comb through it. Shrug.

Nothing to do with her age.

Hey, what is this thread about?

On the other hand, does a drunk thread have to be about anything? So:

"My main Oscar complaint was the lack of Christian Bale. Goddammit, 3:10 to Yuma was nominated for Sound Mixing! Where the hell was he?"

A bigger complaint: where was Rescue Dawn? I'd love to see Bale and Day-Lewis go head-to-head. The collective broody goodness could wipe out half of Hollywood.

Tilda is a good actress, but is peculiarly lacking in appeal. Her dress made her look like she was being absorbed into a charisma-sucking black hole.