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He Blowed Up Good! He Blowed Up Real Good!

“Human Giant” : The Boozehound Cinephile / Ted Boynton

Boozehound Cinephile | May 23, 2008 | Comments (48)


Pop culture item consumed: Season One of “Human Giant,” the fantastic sketch comedy program single-handedly dragging MTV back to some modicum of relevance. “Human Giant” just completed its brilliant second season in April, and having recorded the Tivo’ed first season on to DVDs — man, I hope that’s illegal — I went back to get another fix.

Beverage consumed: Margaritas, apropos of nothing. The margarita, a pantheon cocktail, is one of my favorite drinks, and there’s no need to wait for Mexican food or Cinco de Mayo. Not only is it easy to make, not only can it be drunk with spicy food, not only does it pack a stealthy velvet stroke of the ‘nads … the margarita contains your RDA of Vitamin C and can be adjusted to anyone’s tolerance for a tequila punch in the nose.

Ted’s Perfect Margarita consists of three parts top shelf tequila, two parts fresh lime juice, one part triple sec, and … critical moment here … agave nectar to taste, but just a bit less than the lime juice. Stir well, pour over ample ice, garnish with a slice of lime if desired, and drink up. Agave nectar is readily obtainable at good markets such as Whole Foods and Molly Stone, as well as many liquor stores. One could use bar syrup, I suppose … in the same way one could forego the “turkey” on Thanksgiving and just eat hacked-up orphans.

In that vein, I hope I don’t need to advise faithful readers that “margarita mix,” “sweet and sour mix,” or any other ostensible make-ahead margarita elements are verboten. (That’s Mexican for “white trash.”) This is an easy drink. Squeezing a few limes is the only labor involved other than unscrewing bottles and pouring liquid, and limes are typically weak and cooperative.

Drinking Advice of the Week: A couple of weeks ago, I picked up a glass-and-shaker cocktail mixer, which is just a pint glass and metal shaker like you see in any good bar. Typically the bartender mixes the ingredients in the glass, slaps the shaker on top, shakes up the contents, then strains out the cocktail by slightly parting them at the bottom.

Our local sassy-slinger uses this set-up, and I had already taken to calling her “One Girl, Two Cups,” which Mrs. socalled thinks is a tit joke, having not the foggiest idea what “Two Girls, One Cup” is. As much as I’d love to see a 2G1C reaction video of my blushing bride, I’m a firm believer in the physical continuity between my testicles and torso. Anyways, I bought a glass and shaker, tried it a couple of times, and concluded I liked my old Cary Grant shaker better.

The exercise taught me a critical lesson, however, which some of you probably already know — there’s no need to use a shot measure or jigger (“jigger”: dude, that’s so racist) for mixing a single or double cocktail. The glass part of my mixer combo has ounce markers all the way up the side, so for any drink for which I know the recipe, i.e., “all of them,” I don’t need no stinkin’ shot glass. Pour by parts straight from the bottle, add ice or don’t, shake or stir as needed, and serve. With the margarita, for example, I simply squeeze in two ounces of fresh lime juice, followed by three ounces of tequila, an ounce of triple sec, and a hair less than two ounces of agave nectar, then stir and serve on the rocks. God. Damn. That is some good margarita.

Summary of action:My on-again, off-again relationship with sketch comedy continues with “Human Giant,” a fresh, bracing sketch show with a decided lack of regard for human life and a strong tilt toward anarchy. Once in a great while, I stumble on a sketch comedy series that completely blows me away. In 1994, only six years late, I surfed into “The Kids in the Hall” on the still-struggling Comedy Central network. Fresh off my regular diet of Phil Hartman-Mike Myers-Dana Carvey era “Saturday Night Live,” KITH hit me hard with one of those defining “I’ve-never-seen-anything-like-this” realizations. That same year, a friend introduced me to “The State,” which likewise appealed to a late-blooming sense of the absurd that SNL simply had never touched. This explains my abandonment of “SNL” for “SCTV” in 1981, though it would be a long time before I understood why “SCTV” was better.

Want some … pancakes?

It was a couple of years before I found love again, arriving late to the party, again, for “Mr. Show with Bob and David” on HBO. Since then, it’s been a parade of also-rans that couldn’t take me to that special place. Shows like “Upright Citizens Brigade” and “Stella” showed some promise but couldn’t achieve lift-off, though many viewers loved those programs. It’s probably reductive to note a common inspiration of all of these shows being Monty Python — really, is there any sketch comedy show that can deny Python as an influence? It’s a bit like saying that both Toyota and Chevy were influenced by Grok Bigstick’s invention of The Wheel.

At any rate, the heavily subjective nature of comedy makes it notoriously difficult to describe why a particular program or performer is so wonderful. Sometimes the right mix of clever smartasses comes together and bounces off each other in a certain way — lightning in a bottle, which is why it’s so difficult to re-create or imitate. “Human Giant” features sketch comedy elements that are predictable to any fan of the genre: recurring characters, riffs on pop culture, piercing cameos by edgy comedians; but every worthwhile evolutionary step in the progression brings its own specific sensibility to the medium, and “Human Giant” shows a distinctive edge I haven’t seen anywhere else.

“Human Giant” features three primary performers, Rob Huebel, Aziz Ansari, and Paul Scheer, in a host of fast-and-furious skits generally revolving around absurdist humor. Some of the pieces are borderline disturbing while at the same time brilliantly funny, such as an early sketch where Rob and Paul repeatedly run over Aziz with a car so that Aziz can score the last ticket — a disabled access seat — to the Ghostface Killah show. Other bits are strangely sweet, like another early sketch in which a petite mother works as a furniture mover, first dropping each heavy piece of furniture on her child so that the resulting adrenaline-fueled superstrength of urban legend allows her to lift the furniture with ease. Other sketches simply display a brazen sense of jumping out into open space with a parachute made out of a bedsheet and some yarn. In one such piece, the three principals play “Spacelords,” General Zod knockoffs who land on Earth only to mistakenly end up working at a fast food restaurant, where one of them falls in love with Mary Lynn Rajskub (Chloe from “24”). The bit is grounded in nothing other than an adolescent’s smartass vision of what would happen if three all-powerful space conquerors wandered into a Whattaburger in the Valley.

“Human Giant” finds its stride, however, in its recurring pieces. Probably most representative of the show’s sensibilities is “Illusionators,” a repeating skit involving two David-Blaine level dipshits — laughably named John Satan and Scott Devil — whose painfully strained lounge act antics belie a series of remarkable feats of illusion. Equally original and clever, “Shutterbugs” follows two struggling talent agents in the high-profile, hard-scrabble business of managing child actors. “Shutterbugs” is epitomized by Season Two’s dramatic rise and fall of the talent agency’s leader during the casting and production of “Kiditentiary,” a reality program in which children are put in charge of a dangerous correctional facility, with disastrous results. The agency head, a jive-talking hustler played by an actual child actor, is one of the most gifted juvenile performers I’ve ever seen, and such supporting performances give an occasional jolt of energy just when “Human Giant” might let down. (One howlingly funny example: Will Arnett’s Season Two appearance playing himself in the making of a sex tape, involving paparazzi posing as the Olsen twins but relying only on paper masks on sticks to disguise themselves.)

If you enjoy KITH or “The State,” give “Human Giant” a try — 22 minutes is all they’ll need.

How well the pairing held up: Ted’s Perfect Margarita goes with anything fun, so these two hold up quite well together. Margaritas can be made by the pitcher, then sipped calmly over a period of hours, perfect for catching up on “South Park” or “The Colbert Report.”

Tastes like: Probably like a deep French kiss from Salma Hayek, if she had just drunk fresh-squeezed orange juice followed by a shot of tequila, then come at you with an ice cube in her mouth. I’m sorry, Julie, you seem to have stained yourself ….

Overall rating: Prepare yourself for a mind explosion. That’s a little Illusionators joke that no one gets, even though it’s ten time funnier — you’ll see! — than anything on SNL in the past fifteen years.

Next Week: The Zombie Apocalypse Kit! The Boyntons finally speak out about what’s hidden under the bed. (Hint: It has pump action and bears the code name Boomstick, yet is not a sex toy.)

Ted Boynton is a dedicated sot who would leave his barstool only to stalk Whit Stillman, if anyone could find Whit Stillman. Ted also manages to hold down a job and a wife, three hours each per day, whether they need it or not. Readers may scold, hector, admonish or taunt Ted by e-mailing him at thecarygrantrules@hotmail.com.


Pajiba Love 05/22/08 | War, Inc.



Comments

Hmm. Margaritas. Good TO you, and good FOR you.

And I just might start watching MTV again.

Posted by: The Wanderer at May 23, 2008 9:15 AM

I'm gonna babysit your vagina.

Is 9:30am too early for margaritas? "not if you're going through a divorce", you say?

Well, as a matter of fact, I am! Mix 'em up!


Nice pull! And I forgot to mention, one can readily sample "Human Giant" skits on YouTube or at the MTV website. tb

Posted by: feramones at May 23, 2008 9:22 AM

Socalled, get out of my head! A few friends and I were gonna do the same thing this Sunday, before I became karma sick. My favorite skit was when they spoofed To Catch a Predator.

"I know how to make young boys explode."


Most of my favorite moments came from Season 2. The dramatic reenactment of a workplace shooting that turned into ... a workplace shooting. Genius. tb

Posted by: jM at May 23, 2008 9:27 AM

Nice pull! And I forgot to mention, one can readily sample "Human Giant" skits on YouTube or at the MTV website. tb

Well, there goes my morning.

Posted by: feramones at May 23, 2008 9:38 AM

Oh, good funny on TV? That just might get me through summer reruns! Thanks, man!

My mother-in-law had a Mexico-themed party last weekend, and the guy mixing margaritas GAVE MINE AWAY! Grr, I'm still annoyed about it, as I've never had a freakin' margarita. However, word was they were terrible (nothing but tequila with a bit of lime juice, and maybe some triple sec), so I may console myself with your recipe this weekend.

feramones, that doesn't sound fun. Let me show you my support by drinking margaritas at indecently early hours with you. Cheers, my dear!


"Human Giant" may be on a short hiatus right now -- I don't know if they are running re-runs yet -- but the first season is available at fine DVD rental outlets. tb

Posted by: MO at May 23, 2008 9:44 AM

Er, referring to your first post, feramones--watching clips all morning DOES sound fun. Damn internet blocking at work...

Posted by: MO at May 23, 2008 9:45 AM

Oops, I was referring to your first post, feramones! Watching clips all morning DOES sound fun. Damn internet blocking at work...

Posted by: MO at May 23, 2008 9:46 AM

Grr! Damn double posting! Off to get more coffee. That will fix everything. Mmmmm...coffee.....

Posted by: MO at May 23, 2008 9:49 AM

Brilliant as usual Mr. Boynton. I don't think I've ever wanted a margarita more than I do right now. Especially if delivered via Ms. Hayek. Damn work. And I won't even have time when I get home as I'm facing a long flight tonight... Dammit!

Posted by: Bistro at May 23, 2008 9:51 AM

"two ounces of fresh lime juice, followed by three ounces of tequila, an ounce of triple sec, and a hair less than two ounces of agave nectar"

For the clarification of the Deadwood contingent among us who would hate to mess up the recipe by using the incorrect standard unit of measurement, would that be a cunt hair or a head hair?


Damn it, woman! Is that the same mouth you kiss your husband and my kids with? tb

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 23, 2008 9:58 AM

"Illusionators" is a spot-on parody of Criss Angel, not David Blaine, even down to the "John Satan/Scott Devil" aliases.

Although I agree that David Blaine is a dipshit.

Posted by: brundelfly at May 23, 2008 10:05 AM

I am going to need to know what classifies as top shelf tequila in your margaritas. I have a very strained relationship with tequila in that cheap stuff makes me hate myself and most of the universe. The only tequila I have found that is remotely palatable is Three Generations (I cannot spell it in Spanish like it is on the bottle) from Sauza.


You'll all get a good laugh, I'm sure, but I'm perfectly fine with Cuervo, which is what we stock here at Chez Despair. Various bottles of specialty tequila show up now and then from friends and clients, and I like to try different ones when we go out, but Jose has not let me down. tb

Posted by: Melody at May 23, 2008 10:12 AM

Wait, doesn't everyone start drinking in the morning? Is that actual coffee in your cups?

Posted by: jM at May 23, 2008 10:15 AM

Now, now you know our little PaddySocalledDogs are in boarding school. How on earth could we carry on a torrid Internet affair, keep Bushmills Distillery in the top earnings bracket, and flirt with the rest of the Pajibaverse if we were running around wiping bums and making alphabetti spaghetti? Remember the time we tried child-proof locks on the liquor cabinet? I never knew a grown man could weep so movingly.


It's a well-known fact that the child safety industry, aka the Committee for the Defeat of Natural Selection, dramatically overestimates the fine motor skills of the North American 40-year-old. I wonder if I would even recognize the little buggers, out in the wide world, knee-capping priests and knocking over liquor stores. "First the booze, then the cash!" Oh, that day brought a tear to my eye. tb

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 23, 2008 10:20 AM

Thanks for the concern, MO, and you're right - the divorce isn't nearly as much fun as watching Human Giant on Youtube all morning.

Posted by: feramones at May 23, 2008 10:34 AM

well, I know what I am doing when I get home tonight!

now I just need to buy some tequila, limes and agave nectar...

OR I can somehow convince the boss that it is absolutely necessary to stop working at 3 and go down to the decks for margaritas.

I am leaning towards option two at the moment


As when I'm at the dentist, I think you'll find that a firm grip on the balls lends a certain gravity to your argument. "Now, Dr. Gingivitis, we're not going to hurt each other, are we?" tb

Posted by: Bethy at May 23, 2008 10:35 AM

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I loves me some Margarita, and now I have an excuse! Glee! Thanks Ted!

Posted by: Jeremy at May 23, 2008 10:48 AM

Might I suggest delicious Patron, Melody? I have a huge bottle of it in my fridge - can't wait to make tb Margaritas with it. Now I know what I'm doing this holiday weekend.


Perfect for Memorial Day weekend; a pitcher of margie-margs chock full of ice, dripping condensation while you laze on the porch in the dying heat of the day, throwing empty food wrappers into the neighbor's yard. tb

Posted by: phquaryn at May 23, 2008 11:00 AM

Rob Huebel and Paul Scheer (along with Chad Carter and Owen...Iforgotyourlastname) do a show at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Los Angeles called MySpace. Basically, they bring people up on stage, bring up their MySpace page onscreen, ask them a few questions, and then do an entire sketch comedy routine based on what they got. It's still the third best $5 I've ever spent.


My guesses about the #1 and #2 uses of $5: (1) handjob from the fry station girl during late shift at McDonald's, sophomore year of juco; (2) box of Franzia white zin for 2003 Golden Globes party at Grandma's. tb

Posted by: insertclevernamehere at May 23, 2008 11:06 AM

Then cheers, feramones, to good booze and good entertainment!

jM, the trick is coffee in one hand and booze in the other. THIS is why Godtopus, in his infinite wisdom, created us with two hands.

But oh, how I wish he'd made mankind in his image...mmm, octuple-fisting....

Posted by: MO at May 23, 2008 11:17 AM

insert, that sounds far more awesome than anything that ever shows in NH. If you go to see them again, tell them they absolutely must travel to the east coast

(and I gotta ask, the second and first best $5 ever spent? inquiring minds are curious)

and Ted, no way in HELL am I going anywhere near my boss's balls. I will do....well I don't know what I would do at the moment, not enough caffine in my system. But something far more dangerous and twisted before I do that.

eww


Oven mitt? tb

Posted by: Bethy at May 23, 2008 11:19 AM

Good guess Mr. Boynton, but replace fry station girl with fry station guy and you've won the golden ticket. Sorry insertclevername, but I like credit where credit's due...

Awesome review. I always seem to catch the last five/ten minutes of this show. Looks like I've gotta make a little more effort...

And you forgot the most important part of Margaritas - if you frick it up, give yourself a consolation shot of tequila and try again. After a bit you won't even notice anymore...


pus cake shitbutt cockhole, Skitt! I forgot to add an obvious garnish note, the salt!

Rub a cut half-lime around the rim of the glass to get it, ahem, moist (Bwa-hah-hahhhh!), then top the glass in salt. Various liquor stores sell circular containers of salt perfect for glass-topping. My favorite is an el-cheapo plastic tub of green salt that my mom mailed to me. The best part is the marketing come-on inscribed on the lid: "Will not stain human skin." But if you're serving margaritas to housepets, watch out! tb

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at May 23, 2008 11:23 AM

Actually, switch Grandma and fry station girl.

I'm not proud. But it was $5.

Posted by: insertclevernamehere at May 23, 2008 11:25 AM

Oven mitt? tb

chain mail gauntlet Ted, stainless steel chain mail gauntlet

prefeably accessorized with a long lance. not for my boss, just because I have always wanted to play with one

(giggety)

Posted by: Bethy at May 23, 2008 11:29 AM

I never thought Two Girls One Cup was that bad, even before I knew it was fake. Why all the shock about two ladies doing what they love?
My grandma calls 'em jiggers. (Shot glasses, not people.)


And I'm not advocating getting rid of them. Jiggers, not people. Bar tools are a fun and important part of the cocktail prep ritual. I especially like the silver rod with a jigger on one side and a half-jigger on the other. Everyone knows that jiggers should have big rods. (Dude, that is so racist.)

And stop spreading hurtful rumors about 2G1C; my friend's cousin knows a guy who was there, man. tb

Posted by: Stew at May 23, 2008 11:32 AM

Mmm, not a fan of his. His blog and photos were found at wealthhy men for beautiiful women personals siite "W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m" last week. Is he siingle now? Just curious.

Posted by: agree11 at May 23, 2008 11:34 AM

Hmmm, Agave nectar. Excellent. We've used a little orange juice to sweeten it slightly, but will definately try this over the weekend.

Also, second on the patron. Mindexploding if you splurge for Cointreau in lieu of triple sec as well. that's like Salma Hayek showing up on your doorstep naked and offering to do unspeakable things to your nether regions.


Cointreau is a brilliant idea; better quality than triple sec generally, and a deeper flavor. Ted's Perfecter than Perfect Margarita, with trace elements of mums. tb

Posted by: mums at May 23, 2008 11:34 AM

Ted, you just got dissed by the spambot. Does the Mrs. know about your wealthyromance.com exploits?


Anything that helps her get some unmolested sleep is A-okay. tb

Posted by: jM at May 23, 2008 11:48 AM

Never before did it occur to me that I wanted to be a lime. I'll continue to practice my "weak and cooperative" act in hopes of getting squeezed.

Posted by: divinityblue at May 23, 2008 11:49 AM

Any staining on my part is due to your description of the perfect margarita, my friend. I am absolutely bringing that recipe to the shore.

Best margaritas I ever had were at a local BYO tequila Mexican restaurant...the specials of the night were blood orange, and watermelon and mint. Orgasm in a pitcher.

I love that Human Giant sketch with Will Arnett (sadly it's the only one I've seen).

"Is that a sex machine? It looks like it hurts."
"That means it's working. It comes with this really romantic fist attachment!"


Yes! Perfect for the shore -- all the ingredients are readily available at Safeway. For the uninitiated, the Arnett sketch should probably be what people check out, simply because of his being in it. Then watch Illusionators. tb

Posted by: Julie at May 23, 2008 11:49 AM

Hee!

jM iis riight. Thiis iis the fiirst tiime ever the spambot has deciided not to thiink the referral iis hot. Perhaps you upset the spambot by compariing iit to Pookie yesterday?

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 23, 2008 11:56 AM

Seriously Ted, a group of about 8 of us rented a shorehouse for a week in July, and I will the most popularest girl in the house with that recipe. Between that and my sangria I'll be like the really cool mom who makes awesome cookies...except the cookies will cause blackouts.

PS: One could use bar syrup, I suppose ... in the same way one could forego the "turkey" on Thanksgiving and just eat hacked-up orphans.

Bwa!!

Posted by: Julie at May 23, 2008 12:09 PM

I am absolutely bringing that recipe to the shore.

Oh! How ya gettin down there, man?

Posted by: Jay at May 23, 2008 12:11 PM

Shorehouse, margaritas, sangria, Julie's special blackout cookies... droooooool. I'll have to settle with my apartment building's roof deck. Concrete and steel chairs baking in the afternoon heat, mmmmm.

Posted by: jM at May 23, 2008 12:20 PM

I haven't had margaritas since St. Patrick's Day. As I recall, I ended up on the floor underneath our table at Chula Vista at one point. I want a margarita right now, for lunch.

Wait, as it's not even 11:30 here, I guess it would be brunch? Whatever. Want margarita. Want now.

Stupid work!

Posted by: Sarina at May 23, 2008 12:21 PM

I say we stage a world-wide Pijiba walk-out.

like we used to to (or in my town's case, attempted to do, then folded under threat of expulsion. the spines, they were weak back then) in high school

set and coordinate your watches!
* 2:21 EST we exclaim "fuck this!" and walk out of the office/classroom/strip club!
* 2:38 EST we decend upon the local bars!
* 3:09 EST we toast and drink!

who's with me?

Posted by: Bethy at May 23, 2008 12:40 PM

Oh! How ya gettin down there, man?

In a bitchin' camaro!

I'm with you Bethy. I'm outta here in 15.

Posted by: phquaryn at May 23, 2008 12:46 PM

Jay,

Funny you should ask -- I've got a car now. (My folks drove it up here from the Bahamas.)

Posted by: thejodester at May 23, 2008 12:50 PM

jodester,

The Bahamas? Your kidding?!

Posted by: Bistro at May 23, 2008 12:52 PM

I must be, the Bahamas are islands.

Posted by: thejodester at May 23, 2008 12:52 PM

Ahhh I see now, thejodester just explained Jay's quote to me. I am slow and suck at song lyrics.

Posted by: Julie at May 23, 2008 12:58 PM

Workers of the world, unite ... for margie-margs in 10!

Posted by: ted boynton at May 23, 2008 1:01 PM

I'm leaving work in less than an hour. Margaritas were not previously scheduled in to the rest of my afternoon, but you better believe they are now!

Posted by: thejodester at May 23, 2008 1:10 PM

:( Sad face. Fine jodester, leave me, leave me to rot in my cubicle while you drink tequila laden deliciousnes.

Posted by: Julie at May 23, 2008 1:21 PM

Hee hee!

Oh I'd be sad if someone there didn't know their own history.

So to further help the consumer spending economy I just went out and bought the new 40GB PS3, and to start it off, that's right, I picked up the Blu-Ray "Hellboy".

Suck it, monkeys!!!

Posted by: Jay at May 23, 2008 1:33 PM

You're bringing your A game today tb. I was introduced to a similar margarita recipe about 10 years ago that we named a (name withheld) Margarita, in honor of the chair of the anthropology department at our local university who introduced it to us at a party for a bunch of anthro undergrads. He slipped it into the party and then quietly left. We swear the house actually lifted up that night and spun around a few times. The only differences were the use of Roses lime juice instead of the agave nectar, but in a smaller quantity, and it was shaken, not stirred. It's still my favorite margarita recipe, and guaranteed to get you f'ed up in no time, but I'm going to give yours a try sometime soon.

I'm also a big fan of the cadillac margarita, simply for managing to cram more booze into the drink.

Posted by: katy at May 23, 2008 3:03 PM

Yes! The boss just let us off. Bethy? To the bar!

Posted by: JTate at May 23, 2008 3:28 PM

I opted for the Ted's Perfect-er Margarita, and it is as if Daniel Craig kissed me soundly on the mouth.

Posted by: phquaryn at May 23, 2008 8:27 PM