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The American Way of Death Revisited by Jessica Mitford

By FyreHaar | Posted Under Book Reviews | Comments (22)



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Gleefully sarcastic muckraking exposé of the American funeral industrial complex.

I have read books that scared me, made me laugh or made me cry. This is the only book I have ever read that gave me a panic attack.

This book opened my eyes to the very real and horrifying idea that my death is viewed by an industry as an opportunity to milk every last possible penny from my grieving family. I recommend that every person read this book and act to protect their interests and the interests of their family now by writing a burial plan and giving it to their next of kin. For the record, I want to be an organ donor and/or be donated to science.

First published in 1963 and revisited in 1996, this book delves deep into the funeral industrial complex. Mitford exposes the dirty little secret of the American funeral establishment. Funeral directors and professionals prey on the emotionally distraught state of the recently bereaved to make money. They have fought for more than a century to create and preserve a market for their products and services that are practically useless. The basic strategy of the industry is to impress upon the consumer that the amount you spend on funeral expenses is in direct proportion to how much you loved the decedent and how much guilt or remorse you can expunge through the memorialization process.

Mitford goes into detail on the marketing of caskets and funerals at insane markups and the strategies employed to sell the highest priced casket possible. Embalming exists in the American funeral system to sell caskets. What is the point of a $25,000 cast bronze, hermetically sealing casket if the body inside of it isn’t good-looking? The embalming process is explained in detail, as is the fact that many funeral professionals will flat out lie about the law in order to force consumers to pay for services that are not required. Embalming is not required by law in the vast majority of cases in the US.

The funeral industry lobbies vigorously for state and federal laws to force people to adhere to their vision of what a funeral should be, which includes their profit margin. For the most part they have failed in this and where they have succeeded the resultant laws are not necessarily enforced or enforceable. In California it is illegal to scatter human ashes anywhere but on specially designated land, which is owned and operated by funeral professionals. Finding a law enforcement officer who is going to enforce that law is a wild goose chase but it makes for good marketing copy for crematoria. Oh yes, when cremation initially started to become popular the funeral industry fought against it. Once they saw that its growing market share could not be reversed they simply worked to bring the crematoria into the fold and started making cremation as expensive as possible. They are now burrowing their way into the UK, trying to make funerals there just as expensive as funerals in the US and Canada.

Funeral professionals even go head to head with the clergy. Ministers of every denomination have come forward to denounce the practice of the modern American funeral as excessive. Funeral directors have fought back by insisting that the clergy do not know as much about what a grieving family needs as funeral professionals and that they should butt out. After the book was initially published in 1963, there was significant reform of the funeral industry (later gutted by lobbying) and a more grassroots movement to educate and organize consumers. Several funeral societies sprang up around the country, of course followed by for-profit funeral vendors naming themselves as “Societies” of some sort or the other (The Neptune Society anyone? A for-profit enterprise that has been fined multiple times for the mishandling of remains and money).

The 1996 revision goes into detail about the funerals of Franklin Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, and Robert Kennedy. Even for those men, especially FDR who had written funeral instructions, almost all of their wishes in terms of casket choice and embalming as well as the memorial services were violated by the funeral professionals called in to serve their families. Both JFK and RFK had read the original “The American Way of Death” in 1963 and had expressed their distress at the state of the industry. Even so, for both funerals the family and the government were defrauded and upsold by implacable funeral directors. If those men couldn’t get the funerals they wanted, what hope do the rest of us have?

I have first-hand experience with the death care industry. To say this book hit close to home would be an understatement. It would be more accurate to say that it stabbed me in the heart. With every chapter that I read I felt an increasing rage at an industry that has built itself on the exploitation of the bereaved. My anger was diffused as I remembered that, thankfully, my family was spared almost every one of the depredations that Mitford details. I feel great about my experience with the disposition of my mother’s remains but I am enraged over the plight of every family whose deceased member was not as forward thinking and iron willed as mine was.

Before I finished reading the book, I googled the cemetery where my mother is buried. It is involved in financial scandal. The owners are currently under federal indictment for running a Ponzi scheme based around the sale of pre-need burials, using the proceeds of current sales to pay out old claims. The old claims that are being paid out now do not cover the cost of the funeral services and consumers who thought they were covered are being asked to pay more. If that is not the case, ethical funeral providers are being forced to take huge losses. They are honoring the burial insurance policies taken out years ago and the policies do not cover the cost of the services. Because our acquisition was at-need none of those irregularities touch on my experience. I am now questioning whether the monies paid to be put in trust for the perpetual preservation of the cemetery are actually in trust or went to pay for the owner’s private jet. To quote the Funerals Consumer Alliance, “It always pays to pre-plan your funeral. It almost never pays to pre-pay for it.”

More info here: Funeral Consumer Alliance

This review is part of the Cannonball Read series. For more of FyreHaar’s reviews, check out the blog, Fire & Sonic.









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Comments

Brilliant. Going to have to get hold of this.

Posted by: peanut at April 20, 2010 9:26 AM

That was very interesting to read, especially to know that this may happen in the future where I am. It always seemed crazy to me to have an expensive coffin and a lavish funeral. Stick me in a cardboard box and cremate me. I'm really not going to care one way or the other. And I don't want relatives forking out huge wads of cash to pay for something so unnecessary.

Posted by: Carrie (Teabelly) at April 20, 2010 9:45 AM

The embalming issue really gets to me. There is absolutely no reason for it. As you mentioned only a few states require it and that's because the funeral lobby is strong in those states. I think it's really creepy to see these waxy embalmed corpses with make-up on their faces. The person is dead, let them look dead: it's all part of the process of closure. Embalming was introduced to the US during the Civil War because it took so long to bring bodies back to their families (when they could even bring them back). The funeral industry saw an opportunity and offered embalming at a very high cost so that the body would still be recognizable when it arrived a month or so after death. Now, we're all stuck in this myth that it's needed. It's much greener to let a body decompose and add to the richness of the soil which it can't do when it's embalmed. In most European countries (France oddly is big on embalming), there is no embalming and we bury our dead just fine without it, and the graveyards have beautiful roses and flowering shrubs growing in them because the soil is so well-composted.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 20, 2010 9:54 AM

The basic strategy of the industry is to impress upon the consumer that the amount you spend on funeral expenses is in direct proportion to how much you loved the decedent and how much guilt or remorse you can expunge through the memorialization process.

Shit, I thought we stopped doing this after the Victorian period! (Well, after the First World War, etc blabla.) Kind of crazy that apparently funerals are as much a "look at me look at me" business as weddings - except this time the showing off is pressured by the funeral industry.

I've once played with the idea of becoming a funeral director (still am, really) and stuff like this appals me. D:

Posted by: Linda at April 20, 2010 9:56 AM

Outstanding write-up. I'm still not sure what to do with this majestic temple of a body when I'm through with it, but I sure as hell don't want the casket/embalming rigamarole. I'm still debating whether to be cremated after donating my organs, or to full-on donate my body to science. It will be very uncomfortable if I end up in a teaching lab because of all the boners and wet panties my adonis figure will illicit. Even in death I will tittilate the masses.

Posted by: Kballs at April 20, 2010 10:00 AM

I know my parents are getting close to dying. I'm going to have to get ahold of this book. Thanks.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 20, 2010 10:06 AM

Funerals may be an even bigger waste of money than weddings. Yeesh. When my time comes, help yourselves to any viable organs and then light up the pyre. I have no desire to be pumped full of preservatives and hermetically sealed in a box forever taking up valuable real estate under some overpriced stone. Take the money you would have spent on the burial and put it towards a grandkid's college. Scatter the ashes and have a small, tasteful wake if you want. Spare the flowers, remember the good times, and enjoy the rest of yours.

Peace out, - Yoss.

Posted by: Yossarian at April 20, 2010 10:08 AM

I've left instructions: I'm dead. I don't give a fuck. Burn me up, throw a party and throw me in the lake. None of that other shit. However, while I certainly believe that some funeral directors are guilty of all of the shady practices mentioned in the book, I've also found that the family can also be to blame for not following the deceased's wishes. Which just makes the up-sell that much easier.

Posted by: admin at April 20, 2010 10:12 AM

Fascinating. Great review!

Posted by: Sbrown at April 20, 2010 10:23 AM

I checked the book out online and it seems the "revisited" version isn't as up to date as it could be, so I ordered the following book instead.

Grave Matters: A Journey Through the Modern Funeral Industry to a Natural Way of Burial - Mark Harris

Anyway, thanks for alerting me to these books.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 20, 2010 10:34 AM

My dad pre-planned his funeral when he was diagnosed with throat cancer. He was to be cremated, no public viewing, yada yada. They tried like hell to get us to buy a casket, but we refused. We have a private viewing for the family, mostly for those members of the family who had not been there in his last few months. They wheeled him out on a gurney. He had been embalmed (a HUGE waste..lets burn more chemicals, yeah!) So, here's my dad, my kids' grandpa, laying on a cot in his everyday clothes (yeah, WHY do people go out and buy really fancy nice new clothes to PUT SOMEONE IN THE GROUND IN???) We were having our little private family time, and the funeral director comes in and hints that we need to go now because the crematory people have arrived to get him and they are on a schedule. Oh, really? Frak you.

So, my mom now has hers pre-paid and my sister is ADAMANT that we at least "rent" a casket so Mom won't be on a gurney. Whatever. Mom isn't there, you goob, so what's the difference? And, my poor father-in-law, oh LORD they had a big ol' 2 day ordeal of a viewing/funeral for that poor man....my sister-in-law, too.

My kids and mr. dammit have my express instructions.... As my dad said, I don't want people coming in to look at me like I'm a damn steak at Kroger. Just roast me extra crispy, throw the chunks in the ocean, buy a bunch of booze, show every embarrasing video or photo you have of my, tell some stories, and get ripped. If ANYONE even tries to have a damn church funeral for me, I have told them I WILL raise my ass up out the box and come and get them all.

Excellent review. This should be required reading for everyone.

Posted by: dammitjanet at April 20, 2010 10:40 AM

I want to be cremated or, barring that, catapulted over the walls of a medieval city during a siege by barbarian hordes to spread plague and fear. The wife wants us buried next to each other, which lacks a certain drama. Is it possible to taxidermy a human? I like the idea of being propped up as a particularly creepy lawn ornament.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at April 20, 2010 10:45 AM

Ha Tracer! Mr. PaddyDog and I have this argument all the time. I assert that I will be around to ensure his funeral wishes are respected but who is going to do the same for me. Then he gets upset because I am assuming he will die before I do. I assure him it's a statistical probability, plus the women in my family live forever. Then he gets all "oh so you've thought about this quite a lot, do you check my pulse at night and hope it's slow?" It degenerates from there. If there's one thing that tells me we will never divorce, it's that we are equally determined to be around to see the other one off.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 20, 2010 11:05 AM

Sounds super-interesting, but as I do not feel like contemplating my slide into the void at this moment (Panic Attack 100% guaranteed) I shall save this for another time. Great review, though!

Posted by: Constance Reader at April 20, 2010 12:00 PM

Take all useful organs. Cremate the rest. No viewings--I find them incredibly creepy. Have people get to together to share stories. Play Amazing Grace. Probably there should be some drinking. Give parts of my ashes to the family members who want them. Toss the rest into the ocean. Yep, that about covers it.

Posted by: tamatha at April 20, 2010 1:33 PM

Darling Husband wants to be encased in a giant block of Lucite with his thumb to nose, and propped up next to the front door so he's the first thing my dates see.

If it's not too expensive and the laws allow it, I'll do it. I could tip him over and use him as a coffee table. I love multitaskers.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 20, 2010 1:58 PM

Ooh, BWeaves:

Just think of the Halloween possibilities?

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 20, 2010 3:01 PM

The only problem I can see with that, BWeaves, is that you'll have a gang of strippers and porn stars at your door trying to mine your husband for shoes.

Posted by: admin at April 20, 2010 3:36 PM

My ashes are to be places in a small tin and taken to the field behind the house where I grew up. One of my friends will place it on a tee, line up with a 3-wood, and smash the fuck out of the thing, scattering the ashes.
Then, parties. Anyone who comes to the party must get laid or drunk.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at April 20, 2010 3:47 PM

I think Jim Doggie has a fantastic idea... not into golf? Whack it with a ball bat. Football fan? Punt! Basketball? Slam DUNK!

And I am all for the get laid or drunk part....or even better, both.

Wonder if they can turn cremains into stripper glitter? Then I could finally live out one of my fantasies....

Posted by: dammitjanet at April 20, 2010 3:58 PM

So, in the US, you don't have to buy a casket for a cremation ? Not like that here (in the UK), as the casket is part of the ceremony, and Brits don't tend to view the body, so it needs to be locked away in something. This drove my step-dad and me wild when we sorted out my mum's funeral, and we just cut out everything else that seemed unnecessary - no emblaming or viewing, no dressing up, and definitely no S Club 7 songs at the ceremony (they were on the list of permitted songs... it was at that point my step-dad walked out and left me to finish the arrangements off).

Posted by: Ponytail at April 21, 2010 10:08 AM

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

Posted by: gyms york pa at March 5, 2011 11:57 PM