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100 Books in One Year #39: Rorschach’s Ribs by Marcus Eder

Cannonball Read / Brian Prisco

Book Reviews | January 27, 2009 | Comments (20)


This novel was the equivalent of someone making a story out of the Pajiban comment threads. Now, stop for a second, because I can feel everyone getting all excited and thinking how awesome! But, wait. It would be like someone taking random non sequiturs, clever little jibes, random soapbox rants, constant drug and drinking references, sexual innuendo, and pop culture and regurgitating it haphazardly. Forget character, forget interesting plot, just pack your story with twentysomething quarterlife crisis, make a bong reference, and then sit back and smugly await your kudos.

I really REALLY wanted this novel to be better, because it was written independently and self-published by a friend of a Pajiban, and I love nothing more than heralding new talent. And Marcus Eder has got talent. You can see it, hiding behind the Starbucks chic and typical coffeehouse stage ranting. This novel is the post-modern bastard of Chuck Palahniuk and Quentin Tarantino, godfathered by Swingers. It is something that I could have written — but in a blog. While the premise is semi-interesting and original, the general theme is so generic, it makes me angry. It’s a mannequin covered in tattoos and blue hair, full of anti-corporate rhetoric and Bukowski baptismal font, but underneath it all it’s a really boring snapshot of a lame pothead pushing thirty.

And that’s what’s so painful about reading this. You can literally trace the magazine cutouts from the various sources that Eder’s pasting together to make this collage. It’s as if he thought by making a mix tape out of all the things people of Generation X - Y dig, it would cover up his terrible plot. And the plot is terrible: a group of former art students — who sold out to corporate America — get shitcanned during the dot com bubble burst, so they spend their days sitting around their apartment, dubbed “The House of Pain,” smoking pot and drinking at dive bars. They end up growing a super strain of pot called Glass Jaw, that they sell to earn a living. Our hero is a dude named Escher Smallwater, who gets monthly tattoos and smokes so much pot that he doesn’t even get high anymore. And so we gets Escher’s take on life as he just tries to get by.

I don’t smoke pot and I never have. The reason being that I’m afraid I would turn out like the characters in this novel. Boring and predictable and lamely presumptive of their own cleverness. They are the kind of uber potheads who shop at thrift stores and celebrate 4:20 like a religious ceremony. They listen to Coltrane and get Bukowski poems tattooed on their arms. Marijuana is the end-all be-all of their existence.

And the problem is, Eder’s too smart and clever to be trying to velcro his worldview to characters this boring. For every neat thing that happens or semi-interesting moment, you get wrapped up in the self-conscious nicknames and boring rants. I wanted him to distill the crap out of this knock-off Tarantino bullshit and just tell it how it is. He’s better than this book — but he got it published and it is available in bookstores right now, so what do I know?

The thing is, he’s got a book based on an idea from this novel called “Nobody Puts Swayze In The Corner: The Tao of Swayze.” It’s written by characters from this novel. Now, this is something I can get behind. I would be willing to bet that the Swayze book is a thousand times more profound and interesting that anything from Rorschach’s Ribs — which answers the question what is the next logical creative misstep after writing angsty teenage poetry? Why, writing a twentysomething coming-of-age story full of hipster wisdom.

I want people to read Eder’s stuff, because he deserves a fighting chance. And it might very well speak to you. I’m beyond the quarterlife crisis, so I don’t long to read about that crap. But, I remember when I was younger, I listened to that fucking Jimmy Eat World CD with “The Middle” on it like 25 times a day. Because at the time, that’s what I needed to hear. And I wrote a bunch of navel-gazing plays during that period. Older people in the audience were disgusted and bored. The kids just starting off in life — it was fucking manna from heaven because it spoke to them. Eder’s written something like that. But I personally think he’s capable of more. I think this is the junk he needs to get out of his system so that he can really have something to say.

This review is part of the Cannonball Read series. Details are here and the growing number of participants and their blogs are here.









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Comments

So, nothing to do with Walter Kovacs then?

Moving on...

Posted by: Groundloop at January 27, 2009 9:14 AM

Nice choice in image, but unfortunately I'm still disapppointed in the fact that this book isn't some sort of literary work that details what happens after the end of the Watchmen graphic novel.

If they can do it with Casablanca, Gone With The Wind, and The Muppet Movie; surely Watchmen would be worthy.

(Though I hear they're getting William Gibson to write the novel Paul Blart: Zoo Cop. Apparently, even he's not immune to a dump truck full of money.)

Posted by: Mike R. at January 27, 2009 9:19 AM

"Smoking pot won't make you do anything either"

Fox does have those sequel rights now, Mike. Anything can happen!

I'd like to believe Doughnut is ten years old. I really hope so. Then it's charming and insightful! One has to hope.

Posted by: Jay at January 27, 2009 9:27 AM

Mike, I swear to god if Paul Blart: Zoo Cop is true, I will jump off a fucking bridge. You've got to be kidding me.

This book sounds like something my ex would find super profound, and then call me stupid because I didn't like it. I might pick it up just to support an author who clearly has some talent, plus if I end up not liking it, it will make me feel smarter than my ex, which is my favorite thing in the world.

Posted by: Marra at January 27, 2009 9:33 AM

Oh, forgot to mention, nice redo of the banner up top. I still don't think Tropic Thunder or There Will Be Blood have any business being up there, but I'm glad you retired the Almost Famous one. Can we keep that permanent, as a sign of unification against Kate Hudson's bitter shell of a career? She doesn't even deserve to grace the splash page of a donkey punch fetish site, much less this fine establishment's page header.

Posted by: Mike R. at January 27, 2009 9:37 AM

I know nothing of this author or title, but this is an excellent review, Prisco.

Mike: I find the best strategy for Kate Hudson is to never ever see anything she's in except for almost famous. That way I can forever remain in love with Penny Lane and ignore the fact that there's an actress in the real world who sucks.

Posted by: Sean at January 27, 2009 9:45 AM

Unrelatedly, did the pop-ups decide to go balls out yesterday? Not a problem at home, but I noticed it at work where there's only the factory blocker. Fuckers are riled up!

Posted by: Jay at January 27, 2009 9:47 AM

I was wondering the same thing Jay. I've never gotten a pop-up from Pajiba....until yesterday. Dun dun dun!

Hey, I got my first Pajiba pop-up. I'm finally becoming a man.

Posted by: admin at January 27, 2009 9:56 AM

Crap, now I have the Middle stuck in my head.

Posted by: Carrie at January 27, 2009 9:57 AM

If you're going to fiddle with the masthead again, then I want the Firefly/Pajiba pic back.

Posted by: Jerce at January 27, 2009 10:01 AM

I was hoping this book would chronicle the story of Walter Kovacs surviving the end of Watchmen and going on to open a barbecue joint in west Philadelphia with the Comedian's son and a newly-retired Jon Runyan.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 27, 2009 10:09 AM

I don't smoke pot and I never have. The reason being that I'm afraid I would turn out like the characters in this novel. Boring and predictable and lamely presumptive of their own cleverness.

Weird, me too. For the longest time most of the potheads I knew were total douchebags or smoking a bunch to subside their high school rage. Then I went to LA and nearly 85% of the people there I met who smoked pot were extremely successful and quite well-adjusted (most even super-friendly). But I still have that lingering negative connotation towards the pot culture that makes me say no.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 27, 2009 10:14 AM

"I don't smoke pot and I never have."

I used to, way back in the day, but it pretty much just made me sleepy. I more or less quit the night I woke up in a car doing 75 on the parkway at 3:30 a.m. And I was at the wheel.

Posted by: bucdaddy at January 27, 2009 10:20 AM

I don't smoke pot and I never have. The reason being that I'm afraid I would turn out like the characters in this novel. Boring and predictable and lamely presumptive of their own cleverness. They are the kind of uber potheads who shop at thrift stores and celebrate 4:20 like a religious ceremony. They listen to Coltrane and get Bukowski poems tattooed on their arms. Marijuana is the end-all be-all of their existence.

Holy shit Prisco, it's like you knew everyone that I grew up with. Ok, maybe not everyone, but the vast majority of those jackasses that went to my high school. I could barely stand to interact with those fuckers on a daily basis, and as a result I ditched class so often that I technically shouldn't have been allowed to graduate.
I swear, you guys, the more I read on this site, the less I feel like some freak that no one understands. I have a place I can go and say, "See, I'm not the only one. There are other people who see things the same way I do. Everything is going to be okay."

And then everyone starts talking about sexual abberations and it's like Christmas.

Posted by: Blonde Savant at January 27, 2009 10:22 AM

My 52 year old step-dad still smokes on occassion. He was one of those stoner types in his youth but has gone on to be very successful and is still intelligent albeit a little retarded when it comes to common sense.

I suppose the lesson would be all things in moderation.

As for myself, I'm allergic to the shit. Puking, passed out, paralysed nastyness.

Posted by: admin at January 27, 2009 10:27 AM

Thanks for reading and reviewing

Prisco

! I am the friend of the author who recommended this book. I thoroughly enjoyed this book for personal reasons. (I know the author, and some of the people the characters were based on. The proudness factor of someone I know doing what he loves and making it happen is awesome.) And I think you are correct that

Marcus Eder

has better stuff in him. I haven't read the

Nobody Puts Swayze in the Corner: the Tao of Swayze

yet, but I will, soon. He also wrote a companion short story to go with

Rorschach's Ribs

. that takes place during Christmas,

Holidaze: a Very Escher Xmas

. I found it very amusing.
Again,

Brian

thanks so much for the review.
Pajibans, please give

Marcus Eder

a try. If any of you are interested in him, click here for a link to all of his self-published books.

Posted by: SilverDeb at January 27, 2009 10:49 AM

Sorry all for the horrible html. I'm still learning.

Posted by: SilverDeb at January 27, 2009 10:51 AM

the vast majority of those jackasses

And that's why I can't take Beat writing seriously, as my stoner friends (who were all AP students too) were all fans and people get so ridiculous with it (such is youth, I suppose).

I wrote my own bad poetry though.

Posted by: Jay at January 27, 2009 10:56 AM

Bukowski wasn't a beat poet.

Posted by: anon at January 28, 2009 11:19 AM

I don't think anyone said he was, but they all share the insufferable devotees.

Posted by: Jay at January 28, 2009 1:50 PM